NC - Ray Demery for sexual assault of 7yo girl, Lumberton, 2009

[Peliman]

Officer my daughter let me in and told me what happened. I was scared and angry and got my gun to protect us and put him under citizens arrest and I told him to stop and he ran, so I shot him in the back. I know I should have called 911 but he was watching me through the window. I was scared...

 

[Anubis]

Ellie Nestler and her son's problems went far beyond molestation. The family was caught up in drug use for years before that ever happened. Her killing the scum that did that to her son had little to do with how her son turned out. The justice system completely failed her (she should never have been jailed) and the California Child Protection system is a joke even to this day. In this case, I would've shot him too but my aim is better than hers. You know why? This pig will get a slap on the wrist by our "justice system" and be back on the street to do the same thing to another child (the scum who molested six year old Willie was a twice convicted molestor) only this time with potentially deadly results. As far as Ellie, as a mom, I don't think I could've sat in that courtroom with that snickering, laughing *advertiser censored* for five seconds without the same overwhelming anger. Willie never got the help he needed, turned to drugs instead and murdered a man while high. Anger out of control. While it's nice to sit back and say "oh, vigilantism is wrong", maybe so, but our justice system is so worthless. For the record, Ellie was sentenced to ten years for her "crime", served three, was released due to juror misconduct, was rearrested on a drug offense, sentenced to six years and was released after three because she had breast cancer. Should the mom be tried? IMO, no but I am certain she might be charged. If I were on the jury, I would give her probation.

 

[MissieMt]

I'm sorry but I just can't blame this woman. Granted, she never should have left her daughter there but she did handle it in a way I probably would.

 

[lonetraveler]

http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/5428924/

I say "Hooray!" for this mom. It would have been better if she would have stayed at home with her daughter instead of going out, but at least she took her daughter seriously and came home when she was called. I hope this is in pain for a few weeks from the gunshot wounds and that he goes to jail.

---------
Lumbee Tribe here. The predator has the appearance of maybe belonging to the tribe as well. Native Americans are known for zero tolerance for chid molesters. In the old days, the predator was turned over the the women of the tribe to deal with. Sometimes he would last at least three to four days. This predator was lucky. Some may call her a vigilante, others may call her justified. I have always supported the idea of giving the child sex predators over to the child's parents to deal with. That's just me and my opinion. My mother is Native American. This predator would not have wanted to deal with my mother, believe me. He can consider himself very lucky that he was only shot. Let's see if a judge will give her a break like the judges have been giving the child predators breaks.

 

[lonetraveler]

He didn't die.
If she has a clean record she will be able to plea to a much lesser crime.
She has already talked too much.
I would have said I thought he was an intruder, oops.

-------------------
Looks like temporary insanity to me. Caused by the actions of a predator who preyed on her little girl. Give that woman a Klondike Bar.

 

[momtective]

I say "Hell Yeah!" I'll bet if more parents did this we could put a stop child sexual abuse. I don't necessarily condone or support vigilante justice but in the case of sexual abusers I make an exception. I'm sick of our children having their innocence stolen from them, sick of the years of therapy it takes for them to even be halfway normal and sick of the justice system giving these sick SOB perps a slap on the hand for heinous crimes against children.
Too bad the mom didn't give the dude a 357 castration.

 

[southcitymom]

I agree SCM, even though I do understand the passions that come out when things like this happens. But it is never the answer and more often than not exacerbates the situation instead of quelling it.

Remember Ellie Nesler? She killed the man who was on trial for molesting her son and she went away to prison for 3 years and got out then because she had breast cancer only to return to prison for another three years because of drugs, iirc. That was years that could have made a difference in her son's life by having a mother when he needed her. Yet, what happened to her son? Did he learn that violence was the only way to solve his problems? Evidently so... for he went on to stomp a neighbor to death and is in prison for life.

So victims are left behind when something like this is done,,,, not just the bad creepy dude, but so many victims are affected by those actions taken.

She easily could have held the gun on him and called 911 and waited for them to arrive.

I do not believe in vigilante justice. It tears down the very fabric of our justice system and in the end often the lives of others are far worse off after someone took justice into their own hands.

imo

This is strongly how I feel, OBE. I understand our judicial system is not perfect and can be confusing, but if you have the power to take away a human being's freedom or life, I want to be damned sure you proved he/she committed the crime. We've got the gold standard here in the USA as far as I am concerned.

Without this standard, we wind up with cases like this little gem - http://websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42721&highlight=lawyer+stabs+death+molested+daughter - where a man who cared for his aged parents was stabbed to death in front of them due to the words of a 2-year-old as translated through her mother to her father.

I can't work up enough hatred toward any one class of criminals to cheerlead for a "system of justice" that gives a single human being the power to be judge, jury and executioner for another human being that they are angry at. As far as I'm concerned, that's madness.

 

[jnTexas]

Sorry but if I were her I would've done the same thing. These guys get probation for this kind of stuff. They keep letting them out. We as parents need to protect our children. We obviously can not depend on the justice system. Look at the children who have suffered from the let out.

 

[southcitymom]

Sorry but if I were her I would've done the same thing. These guys get probation for this kind of stuff. They keep letting them out. We as parents need to protect our children. We obviously can not depend on the justice system. Look at the children who have suffered from the let out.

I know we don't have much information, but I would suggest that taking a long hard look at the 40+ year old man you leave in charge of your 7-year-old daughter is a better way to protect your child than to shoot the person after you think he has assaulted your child. I don't know many 40+ year old men who are interested in babysitting.

Shooting someone who has already assaulted your child doesn't protect your child. It just earns you a trip to jail where you get to fail to protect her some more.

 

[MeoW333]

That's good she shot him! Maybe if more pervs are shot, they'll think twice before molesting

 

[mysteriew]

I will confess, I am one of those who has heard about child molesters and who has thought that IF anyone ever touched my child I would go after them with a gun (aim at the abdomen and drop the tip of the barrel about an inch and a half.) But someone very wise once pointed something out to me on another case.

At a time when her child needed support and counsel, her mother was in interviews and/or jail. At a time when she needed love and attention, her mother was tied up with legal appointments. When her child was struggling with the emotions of what happened to her, she also had to struggle with the fact that her mother had shot someone, was in trouble and might go to jail. Would she feel that this was all her fault?

So while shooting a child molester might seem personally satisfying, for the child it is often another nightmare. Which makes it two nightmares for the child instead of just one.

 

[Blackwatch]

I know we don't have much information, but I would suggest that taking a long hard look at the 40+ year old man you leave in charge of your 7-year-old daughter is a better way to protect your child than to shoot the person after you think he has assaulted your child. I don't know many 40+ year old men who are interested in babysitting.

Shooting someone who has already assaulted your child doesn't protect your child. It just earns you a trip to jail where you get to fail to protect her some more.

I totally agree with the premise of your post. HOWEVER, my daughter has often been in the same spot - sometimes there is no one to leave your children with. She's been there, trying to go to a job interview to support and feed the kiddies when there was no one else available. If she left them in the car, WOW, she was guilty of leaving them in the car, yet, there was NO one available at the time she needed them, to babysit. I babysit as often as I can, yet there are times I can't and she does, rightly or wrongly, leave them with some "odd" neighbors who volunteer.

What we need is a place where mothers can drop the children off, on occasion, where they will be safe. We have nothing like that in place, and we NEED it.

 

[pferrin]

I felt a sense of justice when I read this story and still do. This is a difficult situation is for both the daughter and the mother...as a victim I would be glad to know my mom went after the jerk. She is fighting for her child and I really admire that. I will keep both in my prayers.

 

[Blackwatch]

I will confess, I am one of those who has heard about child molesters and who has thought that IF anyone ever touched my child I would go after them with a gun (aim at the abdomen and drop the tip of the barrel about an inch and a half.) But someone very wise once pointed something out to me on another case.

At a time when her child needed support and counsel, her mother was in interviews and/or jail. At a time when she needed love and attention, her mother was tied up with legal appointments. When her child was struggling with the emotions of what happened to her, she also had to struggle with the fact that her mother had shot someone, was in trouble and might go to jail. Would she feel that this was all her fault?

So while shooting a child molester might seem personally satisfying, for the child it is often another nightmare. Which makes it two nightmares for the child instead of just one.

Good post, well thought out. However, the reason everthing is such a nightmare is because the "offender" has more rights than the victim or their families. What I see is the perp well protected by our justice system and may "get off" with not much. Yet, if you/me/any relative touches the perp who harmed the child, we're WORSE than the sexual perp. Give me a break. Get rid of these perverts and the problems WILL go away. Send them a little message - you touch my baby and YOU get hurt - BAD. I will go to jail if that happens to my grandkids and I hope other grannies out there are willing to do the same.

 

[southcitymom]

I totally agree with the premise of your post. HOWEVER, my daughter has often been in the same spot - sometimes there is no one to leave your children with. She's been there, trying to go to a job interview to support and feed the kiddies when there was no one else available. If she left them in the car, WOW, she was guilty of leaving them in the car, yet, there was NO one available at the time she needed them, to babysit. I babysit as often as I can, yet there are times I can't and she does, rightly or wrongly, leave them with some "odd" neighbors who volunteer.

What we need is a place where mothers can drop the children off, on occasion, where they will be safe. We have nothing like that in place, and we NEED it.

I do hear you about how hard it is to be a single mother with limited assistance and resources. :blowkiss: That's a subject that deserves its own thread!

As a general rule, I hate to assume anything when the facts we have about a case are limited to the few short paragraphs we have about this one. But, for me, the mental image conjured by the few things we know, is troubling.

Very young girl left alone by her mother with an unsavory-looking older man. We don't know why the mother needed to leave her daughter with this man. We do know that the 7-year-old was savvy enough to know she'd been touched inappropriately and to get away from this man all by herself....something about the child's precociousness leads me to wonder if she hadn't been in such a situation before. Then the mother comes home (with a gun, of course....can't afford a decent babysitter but can afford weapons and ammunition) and shoots the man twice. Now the Mom's going to jail. And I'm assuming there's no Dad or close relatives in the picture or the daughter would have been with them. So the young girl gets to go into the system. Oh goody - lots of great results springing from this mother's wise decision (insert tongue-in-cheek icon here).

Let's say the above set of facts resulted in a dead, raped little girl instead of a scared little girl and a man with some bullet wounds....would most Websleuthers be singing this mother's praises then? Somehow, I doubt it.

 

[mysteriew]

Good post, well thought out. However, the reason everthing is such a nightmare is because the "offender" has more rights than the victim or their families. What I see is the perp well protected by our justice system and may "get off" with not much. Yet, if you/me/any relative touches the perp who harmed the child, we're WORSE than the sexual perp. Give me a break. Get rid of these perverts and the problems WILL go away. Send them a little message - you touch my baby and YOU get hurt - BAD. I will go to jail if that happens to my grandkids and I hope other grannies out there are willing to do the same.

Sorry, but I am not looking at this as a part of the perp's rights. Or my rights either. Personally, I am just hoping that she shot him between the legs (since she didn't kill him.)

But look at it from the child's perspective. Do you really think that if you asked this kid what she wanted, for her mother to shoot this guy- taking a chance that he might live and get off, because he was also "injured". And that by the way, Mommy is going to be tied up for close to a year afterwards, and that she might have to go away for a while to jail, because of it....that she would say "sure Mom, shoot him and I'll see you in a few years when you get out???

The kid wants to know that she is safe, and that it won't happen again. The kid wants to know she did the right thing. The kid wants to know that she is loved. The kid wants to feel cared for. Do you think that she will understand that after what has happened?

Get rid of these perverts and the problems WILL go away.

We actually do agree about this part, but just differ on how to go about it. I believe it should be get rid of them in the way that is least troubling to the child. Personally, I would like the US to set up a another "penal colony" like they used to have. But just for sex offenders. No rules, go in every month to remove any children who may have been born there. Sentence on first incarceration.... lifetime. Right to access people from their previous life..... none.

 

[Bree0372]

Who would ask a 43-year old man to babysit their 7 year old daughter? UGH.

It's okay with me that mom shot him! The dude then lied to the police about who and why he was shot - that's pretty hinky.

This is another case of Be On the Lookout for men that want to hang with your children! Dang! or is that Bang?

Salem

My brother works as interstate security and recently there was a lady who stopped at the rest area he and another guy was at. He said she had a dog and a little girl - maybe 6 or 7. She needed to walk the dog, but had to go behind the building on the grassy area to do so. Her daughter didn't want to go so she asked if she could leave her for a little while with my brother and this other guy. She then walked the dog and went to the bathroom before coming back for her daughter.

When my mother told me about this, I was shocked! My first thought was why would you trust someone just because they have a uniform on? Of course, the little girl was safe with my brother but the mom didn't know that. I'm still shocked at some people decisions! :bang:

 

[daisy7]

Who would ask a 43-year old man to babysit their 7 year old daughter? UGH.

It's okay with me that mom shot him! The dude then lied to the police about who and why he was shot - that's pretty hinky.

This is another case of Be On the Lookout for men that want to hang with your children! Dang! or is that Bang?

Salem

Respectfully, are all 43-year old men pedophiles? Should all men over a certain age not be allowed to babysit little girls?

We don't know the whole story, but I would hope that the Mom will not be judged for leaving her daughter with a man that she (apparently) trusted.

Every molester has a first time to commit their crime.

Of course, if he's an RSO and she knew, I would have a different post. But, I still would disagree with vigilante justice. That's what our courts are for, and they may not be perfect, but they're the best we have.

 

[Fairy1]

Respectfully, are all 43-year old men pedophiles? Should all men over a certain age not be allowed to babysit little girls?

We don't know the whole story, but I would hope that the Mom will not be judged for leaving her daughter with a man that she (apparently) trusted.

Every molester has a first time to commit their crime.

Of course, if he's an RSO and she knew, I would have a different post. But, I still would disagree with vigilante justice. That's what our courts are for, and they may not be perfect, but they're the best we have.

No - not ALL 43-year-olds are pedophiles. And this "mother" should be looked at very closely. We don't know if she trusted him or if she just wanted to go out and party. Honestly, a 43-year-old would NOT be a first time offender, IMO. Whether he's been caught before, I don't believe we know yet.

I would NEVER have left my babies in the care of a 43-year-old man. Just the way my mind works, I guess. :crazy:

This story illustrates perfectly why I don't have any guns in my home. I am 100% the type of person who would take matters into my own hands. But, though she will no doubt be punished for what she has done, I can't say I blame her. She just "protected" her child after the fact.

 

[PattyCake]

My husband is 44 and an amazing fine kind loving man. If a friend asked him for help, should he refuse?? We have a friend who has a child, she's a single mom in a wheelchair. Should my hubby refuse to help her??? because she has a 3yr old son? WHY? He does have LONG hair so there ya go, must be on drugs or something hey? In fact my husband is one of the top specialists in North America in the oil industry and every child would be safe in his arms. His job is why we travel so much...

What's this world coming to?? blame the mother? blame how the guy looks? Omg... she deserves a statue erected in her honor at the very least! Nice to point the fingers at the mom instead of the piece of sludge who harmed the kid.

She missed as far as I'm concerned. The guy didn't lose his kiwi's and didn't lose his life. A child molester better be exceptionally afraid for his mortality if he choses my child as his next victim. Justice system is a complete joke and keeps letting these guys out. Anyone want to live next to him when he moves?

The woman did the right thing! :clap: :clap: