In some article somewhere it was said that AD gave Shaniya over because BL could provide a better life for her. But that BL was always cooperative whenever AD wanted to see Shaniya. (Sorry, I am not so good at digging up the links. If anyone else remembers this, please post one).
I can see a scenario where Shanyia's parents communicated regarding their child - BL taking over when AD seemed unable to cope but allowing visits whenever she wanted. To me, I get the sense that she had problems he was aware of, but I just don't believe he was aware of any significant problems such as continuing, serious drug use, questionable men around, DCF involvement with her other child (that info is confidential and there is NO WAY it would be released to a party not involved in the actual case, except for gov. personnel), her actual living situation of not being on the lease, etc. (By the way, I saw photos of the inside of the house. The photos showed a mess but not one that was shocking. I have seen much, much worse).
To me, BL seems like an imperfect but well-meaning person. If the reports out there are true, he appears to have several kids from different moms, and he just generally seems like a guy whose life and background, family of origin, and history, may not have been the very best and limited his abilities to be on the ball, to some degree.
Yet, he seems to me like he tried to do the best he could for Shaniya with the resources he had available and considering his background, etc.
Also, there seems to be a big gap between his older kids ages and Shaniya's so he may have become a more mature person and parent, a more religious person and so forth, ya' know what I mean?
But, if my instincts are right regarding the type of guy he is and was and where he came from, etc., he may have felt some sympathy for AD and thought, "Well, I have not been perfect in my life but I have changed a lot. AD seems sincere and I don't want to deny my child a chance to have an involved mother, so I'll allow more contact."
I still think Shaniya came to be with her mother in October as a part of what was supposed to be a short visit but that AD refused to give her back when she was scheduled to, BL was out of town and didn't have the ability to immediately address the situation, Aunt Carey had no legal rights and BL just thought, "Okay, you can keep her for a while until I get back. I won't fight some extended time. I'll give you a chance."
I really see nothing to suggest he was "dumping" his kid to avoid responsibility or to begin a new, childless relationship. He just doesn't seem like the type to me and it seems Aunt Carey would have been willing to step up if that's what he wanted to do and had real concerns that AD would not be a good choice for Shaniya. What would be the reason to toss her to AD's if he knew things weren't right there and that Carey was willing to keep her? It makes no sense.
I don't get that this guy is some kind of unfeeling jerk who did not have his child's best interest at heart. (Even if his choices were not well-thought out).
Instead, he seems like the kind of guy many of us know: Sentimental, makes bad decisions in love, not alot of education, perhaps likes to throw a few back on a regular basis, big hearted but not always as responsible as he could be, loves the ladies and not smart with protection, a bit immature or irresponsible when he first had babies, but all in all, a nice enough guy, generous with friends, etc. That's my feeling. I've known alot of guys like that.
On a related topic, as far as the cigarette burn thing and this supposed strong evidence of abuse that some are citing as factual or that he knew of repeated abuse and apparently did not give a da#m, those allegations were made by people who seem to have had issues with him, some kind of custody and or child support battle back when their grandkids were younger. They may be bitter and I have seen nothing yet that shows they were so concerned that they reported this abuse. They may also simply be as angry as others here and wanting to vilify BL because his decisions led to the baby being placed in a situation ending in her torture and death. So, with that emotion and their past dealings in mind, I can't rely on their statements.
What I did hear is that BL and/or Carey say is that he or she saw ONE cigarette burn on the child and that it was claimed she "backed up into the cigarette" and that Shaniya had nothing much to add about what happened. If she was small or just being her apparently ususal, cheery self just wanting to play and distracted by whatever she was doing after she got home, I can easily see that being the case. If she ignored their question or didn't say much about what happened, they may have assumed it was caused exactly as AD or whomever, said it did.
It can happen. I have been around careless smokers and have actually witnessed kids, dogs or adults walking into a cigarette but if it was a deep, perfectly round burn, alarm bells should have gone off because usually someone who runs into a lit butt, will jerk their body part a way very fast. Also, people who purposefully burn kids always make that excuse. It seems to me that alarm bells did not go off for either BL or Carey, though, so I guess they bought the excuse for some reason.
As far as his so-called friends stating he is fully responsible for what happened, knew better, knew about the conditions, etc., that he is not a good parent or great guy, why then were they his friends? I have ended friendships when I discovered such traits in my friends. I can't abide by people who don't put their children first and I can't be friends with people who neglect their kids, willfully or not.
Also, has it been confirmed that they really were/are his friends? Do we know for a fact their identities and whether they actually had a close relationship with BL? Where did this info come from? A blog?
Bottom line, BL made some huge mistakes that he will sadly regret his entire life. I can't imagine the level of guilt he must feel. The what ifs that we all feel when there is an accident or illness that results in a death of a loved one must be intense for him. I think the only thing getting him through is grasping on to faith that God will get him through, will hold him up, will take care of his baby and that he will see her again in the eternal hereafter. Thank goodness he has that to cling to.
JMO.
