GUILTY NM - Renezmae Calzada, 5, found deceased, Rio Arriba County, 8 Sept 2019 *Arrest*

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I see where people are saying he had custody of her and the little boy. What sort of family court judge allows a total strange man who is not a relative and is only 25 to have custody of a 5 year old girl that he only knows through a bad relationship with the real mom? Give her to an actual relative, not some young guy who has never raised kids and isn't even her family. The responsibility of a 1 yo and a 5 yo on a 25 yo man might make him crack since he is already accussed of being an aggressive man! It is not easy when you are just starting out with kids alone no matter what. So basically the courts just said (hypothetical) "yeah, he's here so let him have them. Whatever. Oh well. We don't even need to look into him or ask any other actual relatives anything.... Next!" I hope every person and every agency involved gets investigated. I have a hunch more than one person or place failed this little girl. It seems like a giant mess. I'm beginning to find myself more than sad with this case. I'm becoming quite angry... MOO but it is one with conviction!!!
 
This man acknowledged paternity of these kids, that makes him their legal father. Just as if he’d been married to the mother for ten years. Just as if he’d legally adopted them. He would have all the same rights and responsibilities as their mother.

We may not like the man or his history but he IS the father of these kids. However, the court didn’t grant him custody. They gave Mom custody and the parents reached a 50/50 agreement until court.

This simply isn’t your typical moms boyfriend situation. This is the child’s legal father, though not sperm donor who never married her mother. He’s not a stepfather.

I know it’s confusing but it’s important.
 
teedie2 said:
Did Victoria have to agree to his acknowledging fatherhood, or might he have done that on his own, without her consent?
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Yes she had to agree and sign as well. It would be astronomically unlikely he could do it without her consent. You are changing a birth certificate, it’s a very big deal.
 
Unlike many of the other boyfriend's FaceBooks, that I have seen in cases like this, Torres had a lot of pictures of the children, and of his extended family. He seemed very family oriented and he didn't seem as crazy and inappropriate that many others seem when looking at their strange posts.

But at the same time, he has some serious accusations of domestic violence and past issues with alcohol. So drinking and anger management problems are not a good combination. That creates volatility and violent reactions.

It is a good thing they have him locked up for now while they try and sort this mess out.
 
SEP 13, 2019
Renezmae's mom: 'He said ... he'd kill me'
[...]

Reiterating an account from a police report that the Journal has previously reported on, Maestas says in the filing that Torres hit her on Halloween last year and was arrested in the incident. “He said if I ever took his son hed (sic) kill me,” she wrote.

[...]

Maestas says in the petition that she has text messages that show that “he wants me to pick up my daughter in the middle of the night cuz he things Im doing something. I have messages of him pressuring me into sex.”

[...]

The petition asked that Torres stay away from her and not contact her, and that she be awarded temporary custody of both children until a court hearing.

A little more than a week after the filing, on Aug. 16, District Judge Sylvia LaMar signed a stipulated order of protection granting the restraining order. The couple agreed to share custody, with each of them being responsible for the children a week at a time. They were to exchange custody of the children each Friday at a school daycare facility.

[...]
 
AbbeyBabbey said:
When it is low, I call it the Rio Poquito.
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I laughed myself into a coughing fit at that. I’m calling it that from now on instead of “the Great Mud Puddle”.

MsMarple said:
I would not even put my toes in that water anywhere near the town limits of Espanola and I certainly would NEVER eat a fish taken out of there!!!
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Not to mention, I assume kids are warned away from going to the river (or any body of water) by themselves, like they are in my part of the state, because it’s dangerous, and because La Llorona will get you. I wasn’t told the La Llorona tale by my parents, but my school friends, when we were Renezmae’s age, took it pretty seriously.

MsFacetious said:
We may not like the man or his history but he IS the father of these kids.
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Thank you! I don’t like the insinuation I’ve seen (not just on here) that family is only biological. A lot of couples raising kids don’t get married, and a lot of people raise kids that aren’t biologically theirs. It isn’t fair to them—the majority of whom are not abusive—IMHO, to act like family only comes down to biology or marriage. I understand not wanting to believe a parent could do something horrendous (and we don’t know that MT has), but if the mom says he’s their father, he says he’s their father, and the law says he’s their father, then he’s their father.
 
VRQ112 said:
I see where people are saying he had custody of her and the little boy. What sort of family court judge allows a total strange man who is not a relative and is only 25 to have custody of a 5 year old girl that he only knows through a bad relationship with the real mom? Give her to an actual relative, not some young guy who has never raised kids and isn't even her family. The responsibility of a 1 yo and a 5 yo on a 25 yo man might make him crack since he is already accussed of being an aggressive man! It is not easy when you are just starting out with kids alone no matter what. So basically the courts just said (hypothetical) "yeah, he's here so let him have them. Whatever. Oh well. We don't even need to look into him or ask any other actual relatives anything.... Next!" I hope every person and every agency involved gets investigated. I have a hunch more than one person or place failed this little girl. It seems like a giant mess. I'm beginning to find myself more than sad with this case. I'm becoming quite angry... MOO but it is one with conviction!!!
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The only reason I can think of is he has been consistently in RCs life whom she thought of as her dad.

I have seen cases where for years the fathers believed the child they were raising was truly their own biological child, only to learn they weren't.

Once DNA testing verified the children weren't their biological children they have even petitioned a family court judge to release them from paying child support. Every judge in the several cases I've read over the years denied their request.

All of the rulings were based on what the court considered were in the best interest of the children.

Which was any child who believes that a man in their lives were their fathers, who has been there as one, shouldn't be denied to the child or children, and no longer considered as one, and should continue to be recognized as the father throughout their lives, including the duped fathers who weren't their biological fathers.

If the children were found not to be biological children they still were required to pay child support if no longer with the mom.

Due to DNA testing now many dads who had thought forever their children were their own bio children have heartbreakingly learned the truth. Even genology sites are showing it to not be the case.

Some will still feel in their hearts they are their dads, due to them being the only dad they have ever known, and feel only continued love for their children even though they may feel utter disgust, disdain, great anger, and betrayal toward their mothers.

Since more women seem to be choosing to remain unmarried, but also are choosing to have children it is complicating the family courts even more.

Even if unmarried to the fathers the fathers have all of the same custodial rights as bio fathers who are or were married to the children's mother.

Since tragically our country has so many bio fathers missing from their bio children's lives now, including those who don't even know they are parents, the courts, more, and more, now must also recognize the rights of the men who have lived with the children in a father role where the chldren think of them as their fathers.

Of course like in all things sometime the judges make the wrong decisions, but for countless other children it's the only just, and right decision.

Even if this one wasnt a good father, many many fathers who have no bio kin are far better dads than bio fathers can be. These are dads who CHOOSES to love, and be their fathers.

Some of the best father role model I've ever know where stepfathers to their children who they love as their very own.

Jmhoo
 
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This is all so sad. The part about her missing school for a week plus before being reported missing by her mother gives me chills. What the hell was happening then?

Thanks to those who are knowledgable of the area and New Mexico for sharing so many insights. I know very little of NM and it has been enlightening to read.
 
SunnyTurtle said:
I laughed myself into a coughing fit at that [Rio Poquito]. I’m calling it that from now on instead of “the Great Mud Puddle”.

Not to mention, I assume kids are warned away from going to the river (or any body of water) by themselves, like they are in my part of the state, because it’s dangerous, and because La Llorona will get you. I wasn’t told the La Llorona tale by my parents, but my school friends, when we were Renezmae’s age, took it pretty seriously.
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The Great Mud Puddle. lol I like that!

I haven't thought about La Llorona in a long time. Thanks for reminding me. I'm remembering now all the little kids who would warn other little kids about her and the terrified and serious looks on their faces were priceless! All the while, adults would be snickering in the corner at how passionate they were about their retelling of it. lol That folk lore saved a lot of little lives from drowning, I'm sure!
 
Mariposa said:
This is all so sad. The part about her missing school for a week plus before being reported missing by her mother gives me chills. What the hell was happening then?

Thanks to those who are knowledgable of the area and New Mexico for sharing so many insights. I know very little of NM and it has been enlightening to read.
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I find the missing school part so strange, even for Kindergarten. The school district where I am sends out a computer-generated messages to the parent as soon as roll call is done and turned into the attendance office. Parents are required to call in or give advanced notice if their child is not going to attend for even the first period. I thought it was that way for the entire state.

ETA Yep! It's state law.

New Mexico state statute states:

Any parent, guardian or person having custody and control of a person subject to the provisions of the Compulsory School Attendance Law is responsible for the school attendance of that person.

Students in need of early intervention or students with attendance problems may be referred to the school Student Assistance Team and/or school Health and Wellness Team for intervention. Please refer to the “School Assistance Team” procedural directive for further information.

Elementary and Middle School Attendance Monitoring Process
Each elementary and middle school shall, at a minimum, explain the school’s attendance monitoring process and solicit recommendations and suggestions from families at least annually. The school process shall include at least the following:
  • Parents/legal guardians shall call the school to report the absence of their student.
  • Schools shall request that calls regarding absences be completed as early in the school day as possible, however, schools shall accept calls regarding absences until the end of the instructional day.
  • If the school has not been given prior notice by phone, the parent/legal guardian shall provide the school with a written explanation concerning all student absences upon the student's return to school.
  • The school shall record absences daily.
  • Parents/legal guardians shall be informed at each official reporting period of the number of absences for each student.
  • Teachers shall be informed of calls concerning student absences.
  • Parents/legal guardians shall notify the school of anticipated absences because of trips, family emergencies, and medical or agency appointments.
  • As a means of early intervention, each school shall attempt to investigate unexcused absences through telephone contact or home visits with parents/legal guardians as soon as possible and advise them regarding the importance of regular school attendance and the legal implications involved. This contact attempt shall be documented by the end of the fourth day on any unexplained absences of three consecutive days.
  • The school shall keep a record of excused and unexcused absences.
    • In compliance with state regulation, all unexcused absences of two (2) or more classes up to fifty percent (50%) of an instructional day shall be reported a one-half day absence and an unexcused absence of more than fifty percent (50%) of an instructional day shall be reported as one full-day absence.
    • For elementary schools the instructional day shall be determined by the school daily schedule
 
AbbeyBabbey said:
I find the missing school part so strange, even for Kindergarten. The school district where I am sends out a computer-generated messages to the parent as soon as roll call is done and turned into the attendance office. Parents are required to call in or give advanced notice if their child is not going to attend for even the first period. I thought it was that way for the entire state.

ETA Yep! It's state law.

New Mexico state statute states:

Any parent, guardian or person having custody and control of a person subject to the provisions of the Compulsory School Attendance Law is responsible for the school attendance of that person.

Students in need of early intervention or students with attendance problems may be referred to the school Student Assistance Team and/or school Health and Wellness Team for intervention. Please refer to the “School Assistance Team” procedural directive for further information.

Elementary and Middle School Attendance Monitoring Process
Each elementary and middle school shall, at a minimum, explain the school’s attendance monitoring process and solicit recommendations and suggestions from families at least annually. The school process shall include at least the following:
  • Parents/legal guardians shall call the school to report the absence of their student.
  • Schools shall request that calls regarding absences be completed as early in the school day as possible, however, schools shall accept calls regarding absences until the end of the instructional day.
  • If the school has not been given prior notice by phone, the parent/legal guardian shall provide the school with a written explanation concerning all student absences upon the student's return to school.
  • The school shall record absences daily.
  • Parents/legal guardians shall be informed at each official reporting period of the number of absences for each student.
  • Teachers shall be informed of calls concerning student absences.
  • Parents/legal guardians shall notify the school of anticipated absences because of trips, family emergencies, and medical or agency appointments.
  • As a means of early intervention, each school shall attempt to investigate unexcused absences through telephone contact or home visits with parents/legal guardians as soon as possible and advise them regarding the importance of regular school attendance and the legal implications involved. This contact attempt shall be documented by the end of the fourth day on any unexplained absences of three consecutive days.
  • The school shall keep a record of excused and unexcused absences.
    • In compliance with state regulation, all unexcused absences of two (2) or more classes up to fifty percent (50%) of an instructional day shall be reported a one-half day absence and an unexcused absence of more than fifty percent (50%) of an instructional day shall be reported as one full-day absence.
    • For elementary schools the instructional day shall be determined by the school daily schedule
Click to expand...

The school did call her mother after she missed 2 days of school, she was still a no show up until she went missing. She could have been sick.
 
AbbeyBabbey said:
I find the missing school part so strange, even for Kindergarten. The school district where I am sends out a computer-generated messages to the parent as soon as roll call is done and turned into the attendance office. Parents are required to call in or give advanced notice if their child is not going to attend for even the first period. I thought it was that way for the entire state.

ETA Yep! It's state law.

New Mexico state statute states:

Any parent, guardian or person having custody and control of a person subject to the provisions of the Compulsory School Attendance Law is responsible for the school attendance of that person.

Students in need of early intervention or students with attendance problems may be referred to the school Student Assistance Team and/or school Health and Wellness Team for intervention. Please refer to the “School Assistance Team” procedural directive for further information.

Elementary and Middle School Attendance Monitoring Process
Each elementary and middle school shall, at a minimum, explain the school’s attendance monitoring process and solicit recommendations and suggestions from families at least annually. The school process shall include at least the following:
  • Parents/legal guardians shall call the school to report the absence of their student.
  • Schools shall request that calls regarding absences be completed as early in the school day as possible, however, schools shall accept calls regarding absences until the end of the instructional day.
  • If the school has not been given prior notice by phone, the parent/legal guardian shall provide the school with a written explanation concerning all student absences upon the student's return to school.
  • The school shall record absences daily.
  • Parents/legal guardians shall be informed at each official reporting period of the number of absences for each student.
  • Teachers shall be informed of calls concerning student absences.
  • Parents/legal guardians shall notify the school of anticipated absences because of trips, family emergencies, and medical or agency appointments.
  • As a means of early intervention, each school shall attempt to investigate unexcused absences through telephone contact or home visits with parents/legal guardians as soon as possible and advise them regarding the importance of regular school attendance and the legal implications involved. This contact attempt shall be documented by the end of the fourth day on any unexplained absences of three consecutive days.
  • The school shall keep a record of excused and unexcused absences.
    • In compliance with state regulation, all unexcused absences of two (2) or more classes up to fifty percent (50%) of an instructional day shall be reported a one-half day absence and an unexcused absence of more than fifty percent (50%) of an instructional day shall be reported as one full-day absence.
    • For elementary schools the instructional day shall be determined by the school daily schedule
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I thought Mae Mae attended Headstart program. Maybe the attendances requirements are less stringent.
 
These changes have prompted new avenues of legal parentage which involve neither sex nor formal adoption. These avenues may be statutory or common law. They go by varying names, including “de facto parenthood,” “presumed parentage,” and “equitable adoption.”8 Herein, they are collectively referred to as informal adoptions. Parenthood usually results for those who become second (or occasionally third) parents to children with existing and continuing parents.9
Informal adoptions typically arise for those who have acted in a parental manner for some time.10 While both children and their existing parents frequently benefit from informal adoptions, this is not always true.11
...

“Further, legal parentage can arise from informal adoptions long after birth where the new parents need not ask the state for approval, but simply must establish some form of de facto parent status, 30 usually encompassing the formation of parental-like relationships with the children.31
...
These mothers often have children with no fathers listed on their birth certificates41 or with fathers who fail to ever attain parental childcare status. In addition, there are increasing numbers of single parent adoptions.42 As a result, there is an increasing likelihood that intimate
partners or family members will develop parental-like bonds with children long after birth. Further, there are increasing numbers of stepparents who help raise their partners’ children, as well as increasing numbers of wed and unwed same-sex couples raising children.43 As Justice Stevens observed, there is an “almost infinite variety of family relationships that pervade our everchanging society.”44
...

While conduct prompting an informal adoption may have begun before a child’s birth, typically an informal adoption arises and is recognized in court long after birth for conduct primarily occurring after birth.61 Most often, an informal adoption is judicially recognized either when a single parent seeks child support from an alleged informal adopter or when a child caretaker seeks parental status so as to continue to child rear over a single parent’s objection.62 In most settings, a romantic relationship (and perhaps a marriage) has ended between the single parent and the alleged second parent.63 Much conduct that might lead to a judicially-recognized informal adoption is never litigated, such as when non-marital family and romantic relationships between adults change and parents and other child caretakers simply move in different directions without lawsuits.
https://law.capital.edu/WorkArea/DownloadAsset.aspx?id=35617
 
katydid23 said:
Unlike many of the other boyfriend's FaceBooks, that I have seen in cases like this, Torres had a lot of pictures of the children, and of his extended family. He seemed very family oriented and he didn't seem as crazy and inappropriate that many others seem when looking at their strange posts.

But at the same time, he has some serious accusations of domestic violence and past issues with alcohol. So drinking and anger management problems are not a good combination. That creates volatility and violent reactions.

It is a good thing they have him locked up for now while they try and sort this mess out.
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Oh m'gosh. I wish I hadn't looked him up. He *does* appear rather normal and family-oriented on FB. Somehow, that makes this whole thing seem even more tragic.
 
claudianunes said:
I think I read that she was in Kindergarten, probably just had barely started, it's still September, I don't really know when the first day of school was.
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She had attended prekindergarten at the Santa Clara Pueblo’s Head Start program.
Few answers in Española girl’s death

According to this article - Missing Española Girl Found Dead, she was in kindergarten at Fairview Elementary and had been absent from school the week before she disappeared.

According to this article - Few answers in Española girl’s death she had been enrolled in kindergarten at Eutimio “Tim” Salazar III Elementary School in Española since the start of the school year.
 
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