I do think that SK felt under tremendous pressure to be married and have a great career, etc., due to him having "checked all the right boxes". It's such a shame, though. Some of the very best people in life never marry, never have wonderful jobs, never have many, if any, friends, etc. Those things simply can't be expected. It's such a mystery, and so sad, to me that anyone expects such.
My experience in life, having been graduated from college, coming from a good family, doing charitable work, etc., is that life if FULL OF PAIN. Simply full of it. I always hope to have enough money to live on -hopefully one day more than that- but it's never occurred to me that I should expect to have such. That I should expect to be married and have children or any of the other wonderful advantages the world sometimes has to offer. (Eventually, I did marry, but very late in life, and I'm just incredibly grateful for that.) I look back at all the Catholic Saints who were....SAINTS.... and led absolutely miserable temporal lives. In fact, so many times in life, the very best people are made even better people by horrific circumstances. Of course, I can certainly understand frustration on SK's part, but to have the expectation of steady, good pay; marriage; friends; etc., is simply unrealistic.
I do think he was likely somewhat depressed, but none of the evidence seems to point to suicide, and from everything I've read about him, even if depressed, would be more likely to retreat from the sources of reminder of his situation (family/friends) and to tackle the money problem with more gusto/ingenuity, etc. I really don't think he committed suicide but, rather, met some unsavory character(s).
Koecher's family looked at his cell phone after it was recovered. They were able to match every phone number found to someone they knew. Steven didn't have any gay lovers or a new job as a drug runner.