I thought the same thing and my heart just breaks for her..........not.
It seems when she first got there her attitude was upbeat and as if it were temporary and almost a game that she enjoyed. That was prior to finding Elaina and knowing things were much more serious. I'm leaning towards AS as the main actor in Elainas' death
and it's mostly because of that arrogant , weird display when she was first in jail. There was no fear, grief, sorrow about having a missing baby that she knew nothing about....ever.
Ferret & Co, if you can try to put court and such out of your mind for a week and get baby K through Halloween. There is nothing going on right now and I worry these continuing court days will steal all the pleasure from all of your (adults) lives . Take a week off and focus on anything fun for Halloween and kiddos and then you could try to do it again at Thanksgiving and Christmas. This journey is going to be long and like a roller coaster and although Elaina deserves nothing LESS than your undivided attention, when court is not in session you all deserve to enjoy life even for just a few minutes at a time until your mind wanders back. You have amazing strength . Just remember to use some of that strength on yourselves.
Having a nice holiday does not mean you're enjoying life without Elaina. It just means you 're not allowing evil to steal all of your joy from you .
Ok weepy and long winded. I'm sorry. I just feel compelled to write every few days because you are all still so in my heart and mind all of the time.