OH OH - Roberta 'Bobby' Snider, 70, Hartville, 4 Jan 2018 *Guilty*

[lstiff]

I've been following this story through MSM and am glad I found the thread here. I agree with the post above regarding him being able to lift her lifeless body enough to throw her over a bridge.

He went on to explain that 72-year-old Philip Snider said his wife died from cancer in Kentucky on the way to Graceland. According to WBBJ, Snider claimed he dumped her body in the Tennessee River on his way back to Ohio.

“He says he put her body in plastic and disposed of her body over this bridge,” Christopher said.

Was she tiny in stature (I know the toll cancer takes on a body) and do we know his size dimensions?

http://www.crimeonline.com/2018/01/21/man-says-elderly-wife-died-of-cancer-on-their-way-to-graceland-but-cops-still-cant-find-her-body/


There was a case here in my city where an elderly man and his wife had to evacuate from Florida during the hurricane and ended up at a hospital here. He was walking down the hall in his hospital gown shooting a gun and the police ended up killing him. This story reminds me of that one a little bit. http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/article172911801.html

IMO

 

[Deleted member 158085]

It IS such a puzzle. A great mystery puzzle the police are trying hard to find the real answer to as to what really happened to Bobby and where she may be. If his thoughts continue to be disjointed and stories continue to change I feel very sorry for the police who are trying to sort it all out, and for her other family members too. I would be sick with worry not knowing where my mother may be whether she passed away from cancer or from any other reason.

While my father would speak in great detail at times of past memories he also could come up with the most off the wall stuff that made absolutely no sense except to him.

At times after we had to put him in the care home, I would ask him did he know why he was there. He would tell me the most outlandish tale saying he was there because he was with one of my long ago boyfriends and my boyfriend supposedly was with my daddy and got in a fight with someone and he said the police locked them both up. The truth is neither my ex-bf nor my father had ever been arrested by the police or locked up. Not before or since then. Where that particular story came from I really have never understood but he told it very often. He did tell me several times he was being held hostage, and I needed to call the police. One time he even told one of the postal workers who was dropping off the mail he was being held hostage and someone was trying to murder him. Of course all of it was not true whatsoever but there was simply no reason to try and tell him any differently. It would have only caused him to be angry and very hard to manage for his caregivers.

The best thing to do for dementia patients is to make them believe you believe what they are saying is true. To argue with a dementia patient only upsets them greatly. Then they think you are actually the one having mental problems.

I have seen caregivers in the past argue constantly with a dementia family member and it highly irritated me and how little they knew about caring for one who has dementia.

I still see at times around town when I am shopping when the patient is taken out by those who I assume are family members or paid caregivers and see the constant arguing that is done with the dementia patient. I have had to step away and go to another area of the store or leave. I cant stand to listen to it or see it.

To me it is a form of abuse since there are so many ways to learn how to deal with someone correctly who is affected with short term memory loss.

So if Bobby's husband does have any form of memory loss I believe the police are handling him very gently hoping he can recall what happened and where Bobby is. I am sure if he has this they have brought in trained professionals to speak with him.

IMO

Yes, you're right! My grandfather made up a fantasy world, too, and it wasn't a happy one. There was zero basis in any past realty.

One situation, I came in and he was packing up to move. I was 16. I asked him where he was going and why. He said he had to move because I was marrying T and kicking him out.

On a regular basis he believed my grandmother was multiple different women who were housekeepers and all had numbers on their backs. He was quite frustrated with some of these housekeepers.

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[JazzTune]

“Hartville police probing woman’s road trip death”

By Repository staff report
Posted Jan 12, 2018 at 12:36 PM


[...]

‘This all started when (Philip) told me he left her ashes down there,’ [Roberta’s brother, Brian] Heisler said. ‘She’d always said when she was cremated, she didn’t want her ashes sitting on a mantel.’

[...]

‘We think he just made a mistake, as to where it happened,’ said Heisler, adding that he believes Snider may be suffering from dementia. ‘We think it may have occurred in Kentucky. We’re pretty certain it wasn’t it malicious. We don’t think it was foul play.’

[...]


http://www.cantonrep.com/news/20180112/hartville-police-probing-womans-road-trip-death

BBM

I’m not feeling foul play, either. How heartbreaking for Bobby’s family, nonetheless.

Phillip is likely suffering from cognitive issues: The bolded (“This all started when (Philip) told me he left her ashes down there”), for example, is so improbable that it makes me so sad ....

( RSBM )

I am bringing this post forward again, ( thank you IMHO, ) which I have respectfully snipped. I want to mainly highlight the words of Roberta's brother, BH, about the situation.

His words seem to clearly indicate he does believe Philip has dementia.

Plus, the current news accounts state Philip is staying with family in Ohio at this time.

If the family truly believed Philip had intentionally harmed Roberta, it seems doubtful they would be comfortable having him stay with them.

Just my opinion from what I'm reading. The truth though could be completely different, of course.

Thank you again, IMHO, for this post. Her brother's exact words had slipped my mind, and I was glad to reread them again...

Still on the fence here; several things difficult to reconcile in my mind, but I tend to agree with your opinion.

Leaning more toward dementia...


JMO

 

[Steelslady]

Yes, you're right! My grandfather made up a fantasy world, too, and it wasn't a happy one. There was zero basis in any past realty.

One situation, I came in and he was packing up to move. I was 16. I asked him where he was going and why. He said he had to move because I was marrying T and kicking him out.

On a regular basis he believed my grandmother was multiple different women who were housekeepers and all had numbers on their backs. He was quite frustrated with some of these housekeepers.

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It is brutal and devastating to watch them decline into an entirely different world than the one that they lived in before. They talk about non-existent people, places they've never been to, restaurants that were never in the city they claimed to be dining at, dancing with a man who didn't exist. We, too, acted happy and laughed when they talked about their stories to make them feel happy. We also showed sadness or pretended to be upset with them when they were mad at someone who hurt them or their feelings. One family member ate food that she hated before dementia, while refusing her favorite foods. They tried to take off, my grandmother saying she had to go Christmas shopping in a city she used to live in, and this was in early summer. I think we all have stories that devastated us to listen to. Once in a very blue moon, they would remember something from the past with great details, but within minutes, they would slip back into their new world again, one that had no resemblance to their life before.

Ever so sad and heartbreaking, especially for us caretakers who often had to watch them closely for safety reasons. It is brutal. I have a sibling that has it now, it really hits harder when it's a sibling, let me tell you. It hurts like heck, hearing her repeat false stories and then she gets angry when I try to gently correct a detail or two, more for the family members around when listening to her story, so that they may know the real details. She insists on certain details to be fact, even when they're impossible to be true. It was hard enough to see my grandmother, aunt and uncle go through it, to which I helped take care of my grandmother. But a sibling- it hurts to pieces- you think of yourself on the same level as them in terms of age/time period growing up. To hear memories distorted, non-existent memories being shared as truthful ones, and some stories are on the mean and angry side- just brutal to witness. Personally, I hope and pray that I die before such a thing happens to me.

I forgot to add to my post here earlier- I took care of my sister for a few years, but had to stop as it was getting too much for me

 

[meanmaryjean]

( RSBM )

I am bringing this post forward again, ( thank you IMHO, ) which I have respectfully snipped. I want to mainly highlight the words of Roberta's brother, BH, about the situation.

His words seem to clearly indicate he does believe Philip has dementia.

Plus, the current news accounts state Philip is staying with family in Ohio at this time.

If the family truly believed Philip had intentionally harmed Roberta, it seems doubtful they would be comfortable having him stay with them.

Just my opinion from what I'm reading. The truth though could be completely different, of course.

Thank you again, IMHO, for this post. Her brother's exact words had slipped my mind, and I was glad to reread them again...

Still on the fence here; several things difficult to reconcile in my mind, but I tend to agree with your opinion.

Leaning more toward dementia...


JMO

Respectfully, the brother *thinks* he may have some dementia AND that statement was made before the whole 'threw her off the bridge' part.

I honestly don't know what to think. I have dealt with dementia both personally (my dad and aunt) and professionally- and this seems beyond what a dementia patient could have done. MOO and all that jazz....

 

[Elainera]

Respectfully, the brother *thinks* he may have some dementia AND that statement was made before the whole 'threw her off the bridge' part.

I honestly don't know what to think. I have dealt with dementia both personally (my dad and aunt) and professionally- and this seems beyond what a dementia patient could have done. MOO and all that jazz....

bbm But it would not be beyond what a dementia patient believes happened, right?

 

[Philigumbo]

Thank you all for sharing your stories. They are all devastatingly sad. I have my own as well. I’m just too sad to go into them now, after a recent loss.

On another note, aren’t those huge, thick trash bags heavy just themselves? Empty?

 

[JazzTune]

Respectfully, the brother *thinks* he may have some dementia AND that statement was made before the whole 'threw her off the bridge' part.

I honestly don't know what to think. I have dealt with dementia both personally (my dad and aunt) and professionally- and this seems beyond what a dementia patient could have done. MOO and all that jazz....

You're right of course. But my belief here hinges on the fact that Roberta's brother actually knows Philip.

We have no knowledge of how close they are, or whether he's been in frequent contact with Philip. I wouldn't think though that he would be giving Philip the dementia pass if he himself had doubts about whether this was intentional.

My feeling is I'm going to defer to the family on this at this point. If they believe this is indicative of dementia, then there should have been prior cognitive changes they had noted as well.

One of my constant questions though is why would Roberta get in a vehicle and allow him to drive her that far if she had questionable doubts about his mental soundness?

For that matter, why would she get in a vehicle with him at all? Especially if she was so ill with cancer that she died on the way?

I've seen nothing that has stated her mental acuity was in question.

So none of that makes any sense at all to me.

I respect your professional opinion, and admire your posts. You know what you're talking about!

We are both nurses and I too have cared for many dementia patients through the years.

I also have heard some unbelievable wild stories from them, and with all due respect, I don't think it's beyond what a person with dementia could say.

They have no accurate frame of reference for reality anymore. So I can see how the
'throwing off the bridge' could have possibly happened only in his head.

With some of our dementia patients we even had a policy of two staff at a time, to provide care for them because of threats and fears that they would accuse a staff member of trying to harm them, or steal their personal belongings.

Two staff essentially provided 'protection' for the reputation of the other.

Then again, you may be right about this. Maybe Philip has pulled the wool over his family's eyes too. But since his family knows more about him, it seems they would be reacting differently if they believed there was any chance this was intentional...


JMO

 

[meanmaryjean]

bbm But it would not be beyond what a dementia patient believes happened, right?

Oh sure! My dad was convinced I a) worked for Peyton Manning and b) was a doctor/ physician. (I worked AT Peyton Manning Children's Hospital, and I do have a doctorate (in nursing)- but no amount of explanation would convince him otherwise. It was really the first inkling we had of his decline.)

 

[Elainera]

Oh sure! My dad was convinced I a) worked for Peyton Manning and b) was a doctor/ physician. (I worked AT Peyton Manning Children's Hospital, and I do have a doctorate (in nursing)- but no amount of explanation would convince him otherwise. It was really the first inkling we had of his decline.)

Thank you! Yea I believe he made both stories up.

Very sad situation.

 

[dms]

I really, really hope this isn't one of those situations where investigators make suggestions and the person being questioned goes along, or makes up something to appease them.

 

[dms]

(rsbm)

One of my constant questions though is why would Roberta get in a vehicle and allow him to drive her that far if she had questionable doubts about his mental soundness?

For that matter, why would she get in a vehicle with him at all? Especially if she was so ill with cancer that she died on the way?

So many possible reasons. Maybe Bobby was in the habit of deferring to Philip and just did what she'd always done. Maybe she was too tired to argue. Maybe she really, really wanted to make the trip. Maybe his mental decline, if any, has been quick and intermittent -- she didn't realize he was as bad off as he was, perhaps. Maybe they had the sort of relationship my great-grandparents had, wherein one covered for and cared for the other so seamlessly that one partner's increasing dementia only became apparent after the other died. Maybe Bobby knew Philip was slipping but trusted him to get them to Graceland with her support. Maybe Bobby passed away en route and it was the final straw for Philip's sanity. Hell, maybe they had some private contingency plan they'd agreed on in case Bobby didn't make it to Graceland, and Philip isn't of sound enough mind to remember it or explain it now.

I'll grant you that most of these possibilities sound a bit bonkers, but if Websleuths has taught me anything it's that sometimes the truth ends up coming out of FAR left field. People aren't always rational.

 

[dms]

...and of course there is always the chance that Philip killed her and is a terrible liar.

 

[justchrissy47]

http://fox8.com/2018/01/22/husband-...ssee-river-after-wife-died-of-natural-causes/

He "put her with nature" by throwing her off the bridge

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[JazzTune]

(rsbm)



So many possible reasons. Maybe Bobby was in the habit of deferring to Philip and just did what she'd always done. Maybe she was too tired to argue. Maybe she really, really wanted to make the trip. Maybe his mental decline, if any, has been quick and intermittent -- she didn't realize he was as bad off as he was, perhaps. Maybe they had the sort of relationship my great-grandparents had, wherein one covered for and cared for the other so seamlessly that one partner's increasing dementia only became apparent after the other died. Maybe Bobby knew Philip was slipping but trusted him to get them to Graceland with her support. Maybe Bobby passed away en route and it was the final straw for Philip's sanity. Hell, maybe they had some private contingency plan they'd agreed on in case Bobby didn't make it to Graceland, and Philip isn't of sound enough mind to remember it or explain it now.

I'll grant you that most of these possibilities sound a bit bonkers, but if Websleuths has taught me anything it's that sometimes the truth ends up coming out of FAR left field. People aren't always rational.

Excellent post! Very well-stated. You made some great points.

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond....

 

[MacieMay]

Has anyone actually been able to link her obituary to a particular newspaper? I’ve tried and can’t find it.


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[Deleted member 158085]

Thank you all for sharing your stories. They are all devastatingly sad. I have my own as well. I’m just too sad to go into them now, after a recent loss.

On another note, aren’t those huge, thick trash bags heavy just themselves? Empty?

No.

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[justchrissy47]

Has anyone actually been able to link her obituary to a particular newspaper? I’ve tried and can’t find it.


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I wasn't able to either

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[JazzTune]

http://fox8.com/2018/01/22/husband-...ssee-river-after-wife-died-of-natural-causes/

He "put her with nature" by throwing her off the bridge

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Thank you for this. From the link it states:

"...Investigators are going through phone records, credit card statements and GPS data. They also requested the FBI conduct a polygraph on Philip Snider..."

( BBM )

​Hmmm... a polygraph?

If LE believes Philip has dementia, how reliable would a polygraph be? What would be the point?

I think this puts me back on the fence... for the time being.


JMO

 

[Deleted member 158085]

You're right of course. But my belief here hinges on the fact that Roberta's brother actually knows Philip.

We have no knowledge of how close they are, or whether he's been in frequent contact with Philip. I wouldn't think though that he would be giving Philip the dementia pass if he himself had doubts about whether this was intentional.

My feeling is I'm going to defer to the family on this at this point. If they believe this is indicative of dementia, then there should have been prior cognitive changes they had noted as well.

One of my constant questions though is why would Roberta get in a vehicle and allow him to drive her that far if she had questionable doubts about his mental soundness?

For that matter, why would she get in a vehicle with him at all? Especially if she was so ill with cancer that she died on the way?

I've seen nothing that has stated her mental acuity was in question.

So none of that makes any sense at all to me.

I respect your professional opinion, and admire your posts. You know what you're talking about!

We are both nurses and I too have cared for many dementia patients through the years.

I also have heard some unbelievable wild stories from them, and with all due respect, I don't think it's beyond what a person with dementia could say.

They have no accurate frame of reference for reality anymore. So I can see how the
'throwing off the bridge' could have possibly happened only in his head.

With some of our dementia patients we even had a policy of two staff at a time, to provide care for them because of threats and fears that they would accuse a staff member of trying to harm them, or steal their personal belongings.

Two staff essentially provided 'protection' for the reputation of the other.

Then again, you may be right about this. Maybe Philip has pulled the wool over his family's eyes too. But since his family knows more about him, it seems they would be reacting differently if they believed there was any chance this was intentional...


JMO

Sometimes spouses get in a car with a spouse who has dementia because their fear of that person getting lost is much less than their fear of losing their own freedom. I wonder if Bobby could still drive. If not, that explains it to me.

Sometimes aging couples cover for each other simply because they know that when one loses his/her freedom the other will as well to an extent.

I also wonder if Bobby went on this trip to die.

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