GUILTY OK - Miracle Lashay Crook, 3, & Tony Demone Crook, 2, Tulsa, 21 May 2020 *mom arrested*

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helenlouise426 said:
Is there anywhere that says how far the child was found from where they fell in? A map maybe? From what I am seeing it seems far away. Please correct me if I am wrong.
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You are not wrong. It was a 45 minute drive from the area they were last seen. The waterways were full and rushing during the weekend. Having seen all the waterways during several days of rain, it does not surprise me she was found that far away. The baby boy was probably snagged on vegetation along the many turns the waterways take.

A couple of years ago, we had a runaway barge from the Verdigris river that got to that area and hit a bridge.
 
Leader6518 said:
You are not wrong. It was a 45 minute drive from the area they were last seen. The waterways were full and rushing during the weekend. Having seen all the waterways during several days of rain, it does not surprise me she was found that far away. The baby boy was probably snagged on vegetation along the many turns the waterways take.

A couple of years ago, we had a runaway barge from the Verdigris river that got to that area and hit a bridge.
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The officer interviewed about finding the boy said the girl was about 100 miles of waterway from where they went in.
 
I adopted my son from my cousin due to her drug addiction. My son does get to see his bio-grandmother but I would never allow her to take him alone. I can't trust her not to take him to see his bio-mother. Actually I don't trust her at all but that's another issue. He is my son, the state has given me the responsibility to protect him from harm, especially from his bio-mom. States don't terminate parental rights for no reason.
 
proctorelites said:
I recently listened to a podcast abt how we as a society deal with a mother when something happens to her children. We immediately blame the mother and judge her. In some cultures the community asks where did we all go wrong., what can we do to bring this mother back to the right path so she can be healthy for the kids, a productive member of society etc. It is hard to think about, but it is definitely worth thinking about. I keep asking where was everybody? Not just mom, not just dad. The community already knew the children were at risk. So my question is where do we all fit into this and what can we do to prevent this from happening again? How do we step up in a mothers darkest hours, when she is not fit, be it from drugs, illness or lack of support & training-anything. I dont know the answers but I'd like to find them.
Edited to fix spelling, I womt even attempt fixing grammar
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It takes a village to raise a child,There are so many programs out there to help people who are struggling. Food stamps, free daycare, housing, counseling, rehabilitation programs. Granted there may be some requirements, like getting a job, staying sober etc. Sometimes, I think we do to much to the point people become complacent, they are ok with the way things are and don’t strive to rise above the poverty level not even for their kids.
 
PowMom01 said:
I adopted my son from my cousin due to her drug addiction. My son does get to see his bio-grandmother but I would never allow her to take him alone. I can't trust her not to take him to see his bio-mother. Actually I don't trust her at all but that's another issue. He is my son, the state has given me the responsibility to protect him from harm, especially from his bio-mom. States don't terminate parental rights for no reason.
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Hats off to you! That’s what you call proper parenting and love xx
 
cds0902 said:
It takes a village to raise a child,There are so many programs out there to help people who are struggling. Food stamps, free daycare, housing, counseling, rehabilitation programs. Granted there may be some requirements, like getting a job, staying sober etc. Sometimes, I think we do to much to the point people become complacent, they are ok with the way things are and don’t strive to rise above the poverty level not even for their kids.
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I cannot say I disagree with you regarding all the available programs today. I think it is a genrational curse. Pay for food or rely on foodstamps? Pay for a doctors visit or rely on Medicaid? Many families teach their kids to go for the programs before they teach them to work 2 jobs. (Thats how they all survived) I've worked myself to the bone just to get by before. And I mean living in a dump, eating rice & ramen, no cell phone or cable- it felt hopeless, like: I dont want to wake up tomorrow, hopeless. That is hard on a single parent, it's hard to see a light ahead. Let me work myself to sleep, see my infant for 1 hour a day, bc I am working to live in the pits of hell & I have to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow. You have no friends bc you're working, so a support system may not be there.

Luckily, the really hard times are long past me, but I do understand how a mother can completely fall apart. My sons grin & giggle was the ONLY reason I kept going in the nineties.
 
cds0902 said:
It takes a village to raise a child,There are so many programs out there to help people who are struggling. Food stamps, free daycare, housing, counseling, rehabilitation programs. Granted there may be some requirements, like getting a job, staying sober etc. Sometimes, I think we do to much to the point people become complacent, they are ok with the way things are and don’t strive to rise above the poverty level not even for their kids.
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JMO There is also the possibility of untreated mental illness, trauma, substance abuse, undiagnosed disabilities, lack of education, etc added to the equation of why people are unable to help themselves or their children. Also, I believe that some social programs do not always support a recipient in terms of getting ahead like having a bank account and saving money or even getting married. Oftentimes, low skill jobs pay poverty wages barely enough to cover rent, food, bills etc So, one could get "stuck" in the system. MOO
 
Leader6518 said:
This case breaks my heart. I know there are thousands of Miracles and Tonys out there. We only hear of a few and it is too much. We do need to figure out a way to teach and support the parents and families.
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Or be able to make a decision that some children are better off in adoptive families. I know that isn’t currently what is considered “best” but sometimes there is systemic dysfunction in a family that is incapable of being broken. And children are left in the care of relatives that are not capable of keeping them from unsafe parents/relatives. I can’t help but wonder whether breaking the chain of dysfunction is only done by severing family ties. Sometimes the parents themselves are victims for whom I feel tremendous empathy but must there be another generation?
ETA - I do not mean all the amazing selfless individuals, many here on WS, who take in relatives’s children as their own!
 
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proctorelites said:
Thank you @Curious-A. You said what I meant. Wish I could erase my post.
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Please don't thank me @proctorelites! AND please don't erase your post. I should thank you....Your amazing story/post inspired me to post a message. I have been a lurker for a long time and an official member since July of last year but don't post too often. I give you A LOT of credit for what you have been through and what you were able to achieve on your own. Your experience is a testament to your strength, courage and fortitude!

ETA- This forum is all about teamwork. One member posts an opinion or thought and other members can agree /disagree with it, expand on it, or clarify it . A post can spark so many other ideas in many directions and even inspire shyer members to leap away from all the other wallflowers. ;)
 
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Reading this tragedy, I can’t help but think of the Twilight Zone episode where the 2 children (brother and sister) discovered a pool where they could go in and come out to a magical loving place, where a kindly old woman took care of them.

https://twilightzone.fandom.com/wiki/The_Bewitchin'_Pool
The Bewitchin' Pool

Edited to add: I know they WILL be in a loving safe place now, the Lord will see to that.
 
momsof3 said:
Or be able to make a decision that some children are better off in adoptive families. I know that isn’t currently what is considered “best” but sometimes there is systemic dysfunction in a family that is incapable of being broken. And children are left in the care of relatives that are not capable of keeping them from unsafe parents/relatives. I can’t help but wonder whether breaking the chain of dysfunction is only done by severing family ties. Sometimes the parents themselves are victims for whom I feel tremendous empathy but must there be another generation?
ETA - I do not mean all the amazing selfless individuals, many here on WS, who take in relatives’s children as their own!
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Thank you for your words - I got pregnant as a teen and gave my daughter up for adoption. My Mom was terminally ill, my Dad emotionally checked out - there was no way I could give her a good home. She's in her 40's now with two girls of her own. Everyone makes different choices and I don't ever judge, but I'm so glad I made the one I did - for us it was the best.
 
Corrupted1967 said:
This is so sad and so very preventable all 3 the birthmom the grandfather the custodian need to be charged . So angry this never should of happened RIP little ones
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Can I ask why you think the custodial aunt should be charged? I thought the grandfather was watching the children while she worked. He left them in a dangerous place but the aunt?
 
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