OK OK - Stephen “Steve” Lee Murphy, last seen in Claremore sometime in 1976, not reported missing until July 2022

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If you were his wife, ie a second one, and Stephen had left you sometime without an address - what would you do to get your part of his pension? Which opportunities would you have to find him, if you were his separated wife and not his daughter?

I have a friend, and she had a not so close relative, who left his wife with 2 children and started a new life with more women and more children, after he allegedly had spent some years in the Foreign Union. He was found as an older man in a neighboring state, but his separated German wife had herself a new man and new children and didn't want contact with him. (She didn't want him to know.) Before he was tracked down, he secretly visited GER and appeared in the village, where my friend lived as a child/teen. The parents of my friend thought, they had seen a ghost, because this man was considered dead for a long time. But the visitor, who was wandering through the village and asked the parents (just working in the garden) some questions, had the same broken nose like the disappeared (and "dead") relative, they had known of.
ETA: That the relative was tracked down, had to do with the pension, but I have forgotten the details.
 
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FromGermany1 said:
If you were his wife, ie a second one, and Stephen had left you sometime without an address - what would you do to get your part of his pension? Which opportunities would you have to find him, if you were his separated wife and not his daughter?

I have a friend, and she had a not so close relative, who left his wife with 2 children and started a new life with more women and more children, after he allegedly had spent some years in the Foreign Union. He was found as an older man in a neighboring state, but his separated German wife had herself a new man and new children and didn't want contact with him. (She didn't want him to know.) Before he was tracked down, he secretly visited GER and appeared in the village, where my friend lived as a child/teen. The parents of my friend thought, they had seen a ghost, because this man was considered dead for a long time. But the visitor, who was wandering through the village and asked the parents (just working in the garden) some questions, had the same broken nose like the disappeared (and "dead") relative, they had known of.
ETA: That the relative was tracked down, had to do with the pension, but I have forgotten the details.
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Stephen and my mom were separated less than year after they were married. I haven't found that he ever remarried and I have found any siblings. I've done DNA
 
If you end up going the class reunion route, or specifically the open letter route, I have some thoughts on how I would go about it. If it were me, I would try to:

Keep it less than 2 pages, possibly one but front and back. You want to be thorough and sincere, but you don’t want it to overload everyone with information. Also consider that this letter ideally will be read by one person to a crowd of people at a gathering. In your introduction, request that this be read out loud at the event if possible.

End the letter thanking them for their time and possibly kindly requesting some return confirmation it was made public to the 1975 class. i.e., a return letter.

Include your preferred forms of communication at the bottom. I would do email and mail, but if you're OK with phone, then that too.

I would mail it in a large manila envelope and include a few copies. These could in theory be passed around at the event. Those with cell phones may want to take a picture of the letter and/or contact info instead of writing it on something. If there's multiple copies it will get around faster. I mailed all my scholarship resumes/applications with manilas and just made sure to double tape the opening closed. They take 2 stamps to mail IIRC and that’s it. If you wanted, you could include a return letter envelope with stamp, but it's up to you. Stamps aren't cheap.

Just my two cents. But I'm kinda nerdy about mailing letters and such.
 
doublestop said:
@Snoangel26 Do you know if he always went by Stephen, or did friends and family call him Steve most of the time?

Also, do you know what religious faith he might have been a member of? Someone told you he always carried a Bible to class, as I recall.
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I do know that in a yearbook he signed it as Steve. Not sure what religion he was.
 
lightofmine99 said:
If you end up going the class reunion route, or specifically the open letter route, I have some thoughts on how I would go about it. If it were me, I would try to:

Keep it less than 2 pages, possibly one but front and back. You want to be thorough and sincere, but you don’t want it to overload everyone with information. Also consider that this letter ideally will be read by one person to a crowd of people at a gathering. In your introduction, request that this be read out loud at the event if possible.

End the letter thanking them for their time and possibly kindly requesting some return confirmation it was made public to the 1975 class. i.e., a return letter.

Include your preferred forms of communication at the bottom. I would do email and mail, but if you're OK with phone, then that too.

I would mail it in a large manila envelope and include a few copies. These could in theory be passed around at the event. Those with cell phones may want to take a picture of the letter and/or contact info instead of writing it on something. If there's multiple copies it will get around faster. I mailed all my scholarship resumes/applications with manilas and just made sure to double tape the opening closed. They take 2 stamps to mail IIRC and that’s it. If you wanted, you could include a return letter envelope with stamp, but it's up to you. Stamps aren't cheap.

Just my two cents. But I'm kinda nerdy about mailing letters and such.
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I like this idea. Thank you. I'll just have to get an address to send it to. Love it
 
Is it possible he ever used a name other than Stephen, Steve or Lee? He has to be on paper somewhere prior to his marriage license. Could his last name have changed?

There’s somewhere in my family tree where the kids switched from bio dad’s to stepdad’s last name or vice versa.
 
My bio family’s home was on Oklahoma Pl, which is 5 minutes from 7313 E Newton St Tulsa Oklahoma, where he lived. I have wanted to talk to my numerous aunts and uncle’s who lived there in the 70s and are near his age but we’ve had a lot of loss since I mentioned it. I will ask. I did find out they went to McClain High School and most dropped out. My bio Dad did go into the military around the same time as your dad but he passed away. There were 11 siblings all together and I feel like they may have crossed paths. I was also curious about what religion he was and if maybe he joined some religious group, if he was still as devoted as he was when he carried his Bible. Oklahoma is known for extreme evangelists and there are some cults.
 
I can't remember if I have asked this or not, but what about your maternal relatives? Grandparents, aunts and uncles...might they know any more about how/where your parents met, or anything that might give the tiniest bit of info about Stephen? If they didn't go to the same high school, they might have met at work at a fast food place or something like that.
 
doublestop said:
I can't remember if I have asked this or not, but what about your maternal relatives? Grandparents, aunts and uncles...might they know any more about how/where your parents met, or anything that might give the tiniest bit of info about Stephen? If they didn't go to the same high school, they might have met at work at a fast food place or something like that.
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Wow. I came back on here just to ask if @Snoangel26 knew where her parents might have met. Great question!
 
Sincerely said:
My bio family’s home was on Oklahoma Pl, which is 5 minutes from 7313 E Newton St Tulsa Oklahoma, where he lived. I have wanted to talk to my numerous aunts and uncle’s who lived there in the 70s and are near his age but we’ve had a lot of loss since I mentioned it. I will ask. I did find out they went to McClain High School and most dropped out. My bio Dad did go into the military around the same time as your dad but he passed away. There were 11 siblings all together and I feel like they may have crossed paths. I was also curious about what religion he was and if maybe he joined some religious group, if he was still as devoted as he was when he carried his Bible. Oklahoma is known for extreme evangelists and there are some cults.
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I'll take any information I can get. Not sure what religion he was.
 
DoctorRose said:
Is it possible he ever used a name other than Stephen, Steve or Lee? He has to be on paper somewhere prior to his marriage license. Could his last name have changed?

There’s somewhere in my family tree where the kids switched from bio dad’s to stepdad’s last name or vice versa.
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I actually used his name a variety of ways. I even used his grandmother's maiden name.
 
If he emigrated to Canada (or a different country), could that explain the lack use on his SSN?

He enlisted just as the Vietnam War ended, but while it was ongoing, Canada took in tens of thousands of US military deserters and draft dodgers. I wonder if he could have snuck in there as well.
 
archenemy toenail said:
If he emigrated to Canada (or a different country), could that explain the lack use on his SSN?

He enlisted just as the Vietnam War ended, but while it was ongoing, Canada took in tens of thousands of US military deserters and draft dodgers. I wonder if he could have snuck in there as well.
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A very excellent point
 
archenemy toenail said:
If he emigrated to Canada (or a different country), could that explain the lack use on his SSN?

He enlisted just as the Vietnam War ended, but while it was ongoing, Canada took in tens of thousands of US military deserters and draft dodgers. I wonder if he could have snuck in there as well.
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I have actually wondered that as well. Just not sure how to go about searching in other countries.
 
I’m searching my newspaper account. I found some mentions of Tommy while in school. I also found an article about Kathy being badly burned when she was 10 years old. Let me know if you want that article.

I also found a death notice in Indiana in 2009 that fits Stephen’s age. (nope not him sorry wrong siblings listed).

Adding… I have Stephen’s mother’s obituary. You don’t have his brother listed in your tree.

Maybe I need to read the whole thread
 
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paris_paris said:
I’m searching my newspaper account. I found some mentions of Tommy while in school. I also found an article about Kathy being badly burned when she was 10 years old. Let me know if you want that article.

I also found a death notice in Indiana in 2009 that fits Stephen’s age. (nope not him sorry wrong siblings listed).

Adding… I have Stephen’s mother’s obituary. You don’t have his brother listed in your tree.

Maybe I need to read the whole thread
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I would like to have that article please. I would also love to see the me tons of Tommy as well. I do have his mother's obituary. I found it one day when I googled Stephen name. I stopped adding to my tree for while. Thank you
 
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