*REVISIT* Does Anyone Feel Sad for Casey? Or Family Members?

[Balthazar]

blackwatch, this is not the first time i've found myself thinking one of your posts is very smart :blushing:

i think a lot of the "she had such a precious baby, why couldn't she appreciate her, my child is the light of my life" rhetoric, i dunno, it even makes ME feel bad--like a bad mom, i mean--and i'm a pretty good mom, i think.

still, having a toddler, i can understand why someone would kill their own child. not that i believe i would ever do it, but i can certainly intellectually understand how someone who has zero interest in parenting, and gets really annoyed by a demanding kid (because kids are nothing if not demanding), could just SNAP.

and it's not like there's really any help for people in this situation. look at the nebraska safe haven law--that got taken away, but if you ask me the fact it was being so relentlessly used is an indication there is a DESPERATE need for it, and for people who want to "get rid" of a child to be able to do so. it could definitely prevent situations like what happened to little caylee. maybe casey wouldn't have taken advantage of a safe haven law, or maybe she would have, but lots of parents IMO would if they knew there would be no judgment, no questions asked, and kid will be safe and cared for by the state.

this whole issue of child murder/parents who don't want to parent always makes me wonder, are we really interested in protecting children (and i think safe haven laws and other programs that acknowledge sometimes parents just want to QUIT parenting DO protect kids) or enforcing how mothers are supposed to feel about kids? the fact that not many opportunities exist for women who feel overwhelmed to give their kids up--or even to get help so they can safely keep them--suggests we as a society don't think that decision should be available. but as long as it's not available, we're putting kids in danger.

MOO

I sooooo AGREE with everything you have said. Either we want to protect children or we don't. We require people to pass a test and get a license in order to drive, but anyone can become a parent - even if they don't want to, even if they have no means to support their child, even if it's because others want them to have a child they don't want. To me, we have a very serious problem. In Germany, just to get a dog, you have to take dog ownership classes, pass a test, prove you can afford vet visits and training and PROVE you can devote at least 1 full hour per day to the dog. All this before you even get the dog! Yet we Americans let people have children regardless of if it makes any sense whatsoever all in the name of personal freedom. And it is the children who are paying for this "freedom" with their lives and their mental health and physical well-being. Somehow, our society has got to come to the realization that the protection of children is foremost a responsibility of our society, even though we must sacrifice some personal freedom in order to do it.

 

[scrabble]

I feel sorry for George and Cindy and I would pray that no one else will ever have to be in their shoes.

 

[smart blonde]

Just for the record...
No, I do not feel sad for Casey.
Not even a little, teeny, tiny, itty, bitty bit.
I feel sorry for the friends and family who are suffering due to her actions.
Most of all, I feel sadness for little Caylee Marie.

What I do feel for Casey is anger and disgust.

 

[Blackwatch]

I sooooo AGREE with everything you have said. Either we want to protect children or we don't. We require people to pass a test and get a license in order to drive, but anyone can become a parent - even if they don't want to, even if they have no means to support their child, even if it's because others want them to have a child they don't want. To me, we have a very serious problem. In Germany, just to get a dog, you have to take dog ownership classes, pass a test, prove you can afford vet visits and training and PROVE you can devote at least 1 full hour per day to the dog. All this before you even get the dog! Yet we Americans let people have children regardless of if it makes any sense whatsoever all in the name of personal freedom. And it is the children who are paying for this "freedom" with their lives and their mental health and physical well-being. Somehow, our society has got to come to the realization that the protection of children is foremost a responsibility of our society, even though we must sacrifice some personal freedom in order to do it.

There have been several good posts here and I believe this is one of them, especially the part I bolded. I left off the sacrifice of personal freedom 'cause I'm not sure about that. However, I believe society does have a RESPONSIBILITY:

I believe society has a responsibility to let women off the "having children fulfills a woman's life" hook. Most women have been INDOCTRINATED since birth to believe this is true, and I think it probably isn't. Many women can, or could be, perfectly happy with a career and/or a cat. Children aren't the blessing people are cracking them up to be. They can be damned annoying, especially when they're little. I know whereof I speak, I had 6 with one set of twins and I babysit for my 15 grandkids off and on.

Secondly, I believe society has a responsibility to HELP mothers/fathers who are stressed, unable to cope, instead of ignoring their cries until they off the kid, then point fingers and throw stones. As stellasmommyphd pointed out, Nebraska was inundated with kids parents were unable to deal with. We need more systems like that in place. We also need more free day cares, more help for working moms.

Thirdly, society needs to BUTT OUT of the reasonable disciplining of children. My daughters are afraid to do much of anything when their kids are acting up in public - they tell me they're worried about being arrested. IF SOCIETY is going to make RULES, they damned well better be prepared to pay the consequences of the results - such as many here feel Casey is - a spoiled monster. I'm not sure of that, but many here seem to be, and so, take a good look at what SOCIETY creates with the hands off approach.

Good grief, I'm really on a rant, but I really believe SOCIETY, and the people who compose SOCIETY, had better take a good look at where this is going. If nothing is done to HELP, there will be more dead children. If nothing is done to HELP, there will be more out-of-control children who will grow up to be out-of-control parents.

C'mon guys, lend a helping hand, don't lend a stone to your neighbor to throw at another human being.

End of ranting my opinion.

 

[Blackwatch]

blackwatch, this is not the first time i've found myself thinking one of your posts is very smart :blushing:

i think a lot of the "she had such a precious baby, why couldn't she appreciate her, my child is the light of my life" rhetoric, i dunno, it even makes ME feel bad--like a bad mom, i mean--and i'm a pretty good mom, i think.

still, having a toddler, i can understand why someone would kill their own child. not that i believe i would ever do it, but i can certainly intellectually understand how someone who has zero interest in parenting, and gets really annoyed by a demanding kid (because kids are nothing if not demanding), could just SNAP.

and it's not like there's really any help for people in this situation. look at the nebraska safe haven law--that got taken away, but if you ask me the fact it was being so relentlessly used is an indication there is a DESPERATE need for it, and for people who want to "get rid" of a child to be able to do so. it could definitely prevent situations like what happened to little caylee. maybe casey wouldn't have taken advantage of a safe haven law, or maybe she would have, but lots of parents IMO would if they knew there would be no judgment, no questions asked, and kid will be safe and cared for by the state.

this whole issue of child murder/parents who don't want to parent always makes me wonder, are we really interested in protecting children (and i think safe haven laws and other programs that acknowledge sometimes parents just want to QUIT parenting DO protect kids) or enforcing how mothers are supposed to feel about kids? the fact that not many opportunities exist for women who feel overwhelmed to give their kids up--or even to get help so they can safely keep them--suggests we as a society don't think that decision should be available. but as long as it's not available, we're putting kids in danger.

MOO

Thank you, dear lady. Sometimes I feel like the only imperfect human being on this board. You've restored my faith!

 

[stellasmommyphd]

I believe society has a responsibility to let women off the "having children fulfills a woman's life" hook. Most women have been INDOCTRINATED since birth to believe this is true, and I think it probably isn't. Many women can, or could be, perfectly happy with a career and/or a cat. Children aren't the blessing people are cracking them up to be. They can be damned annoying, especially when they're little. I know whereof I speak, I had 6 with one set of twins and I babysit for my 15 grandkids off and on.

:woohoo::blowkiss:

you dared to say it!!! you rock!!

 

[robotdog]

sorry for her ??

nawwwwwwwwww except for one thing. i am sorry her parents didnt teach her what the word "NO" means

and that there are certain rules that apply to kids

see, its a parents job to say "NO" and "NO, thats not acceptable"

when it has merit.
if parents would parent and not be so worried about how steamed the child is because they didnt get their way, we would have a lot less problems

it is not a parents job to just always let things slide..


RANT temporarily suspended until i feel the need to RANT again

 

[BetsyB]

There have been several good posts here and I believe this is one of them, especially the part I bolded. I left off the sacrifice of personal freedom 'cause I'm not sure about that. However, I believe society does have a RESPONSIBILITY:

I believe society has a responsibility to let women off the "having children fulfills a woman's life" hook. Most women have been INDOCTRINATED since birth to believe this is true, and I think it probably isn't. Many women can, or could be, perfectly happy with a career and/or a cat. Children aren't the blessing people are cracking them up to be. They can be damned annoying, especially when they're little. I know whereof I speak, I had 6 with one set of twins and I babysit for my 15 grandkids off and on.

Secondly, I believe society has a responsibility to HELP mothers/fathers who are stressed, unable to cope, instead of ignoring their cries until they off the kid, then point fingers and throw stones. As stellasmommyphd pointed out, Nebraska was inundated with kids parents were unable to deal with. We need more systems like that in place. We also need more free day cares, more help for working moms.

Thirdly, society needs to BUTT OUT of the reasonable disciplining of children. My daughters are afraid to do much of anything when their kids are acting up in public - they tell me they're worried about being arrested. IF SOCIETY is going to make RULES, they damned well better be prepared to pay the consequences of the results - such as many here feel Casey is - a spoiled monster. I'm not sure of that, but many here seem to be, and so, take a good look at what SOCIETY creates with the hands off approach.

Good grief, I'm really on a rant, but I really believe SOCIETY, and the people who compose SOCIETY, had better take a good look at where this is going. If nothing is done to HELP, there will be more dead children. If nothing is done to HELP, there will be more out-of-control children who will grow up to be out-of-control parents.

C'mon guys, lend a helping hand, don't lend a stone to your neighbor to throw at another human being.

End of ranting my opinion.

I agree with much of what you write, but I don't believe that a word it is applicable to Casey Anthony.

You're writing of things that would benefit women and children who have the capacity to benefit.

Some really, truly do not.

 

[snow_walker]

If I could find just one ounce of 'goodness' in KC, I would probably be able to work up some compassion for her. If she had expressed some regret .. some sadness.. some caring for her child, her family, her friends..even if it were not a spoken thing, but just some indication that she cared about what she had done, on some level.

I can find not the slightest indication that she felt regret.
Killing someone cannot be easy, it isn't a sanitized process like one sees in movies .. to look into the face of a trusting child, and reach for the duct tape..I don't want to get too graphic, but it is beyond heart breaking.

I shall save my pity for the next little Caylee and ask that somehow, someway, there will be something I can do to save them.

 

[Blackwatch]

I agree with much of what you write, but I don't believe that a word it is applicable to Casey Anthony.

You're writing of things that would benefit women and children who have the capacity to benefit.

Some really, truly do not.

And, I can agree with most of what you said, but. . .

Is it possible Casey would have given the baby up IF she could have done so without the words, "unfit mother" being thrown in her face? Could she have given Caylee up for adoption IF CA had "allowed" her to? Would Caylee be alive today if either of these scenerios had played out?

We will never know, but the odds are, YES, Caylee might very well be alive today if Casey had been given one of the above choices. I DO feel sadness for Casey because I don't believe she had a lot of CHOICES. Look at LA, and GA. Do you think they have a lot of choices?

My opinion only.

 

[Blackwatch]

I sooooo AGREE with everything you have said. Either we want to protect children or we don't. We require people to pass a test and get a license in order to drive, but anyone can become a parent - even if they don't want to, even if they have no means to support their child, even if it's because others want them to have a child they don't want. To me, we have a very serious problem. In Germany, just to get a dog, you have to take dog ownership classes, pass a test, prove you can afford vet visits and training and PROVE you can devote at least 1 full hour per day to the dog. All this before you even get the dog! Yet we Americans let people have children regardless of if it makes any sense whatsoever all in the name of personal freedom. And it is the children who are paying for this "freedom" with their lives and their mental health and physical well-being. Somehow, our society has got to come to the realization that the protection of children is foremost a responsibility of our society, even though we must sacrifice some personal freedom in order to do it.

I appreciate your telling us the requisites for dog ownership in Germany, and it is somewhat the same here if you get one from the HUMANE society. We all know we should care for our pets, but. . .what happens to the UNadopted pets? Is being euthanized better than going to a home that cannot afford up-to-the-minute shots, etc? Isn't LIFE better than DEATH in all cases?

Reminds me of a show on Animal Planet. Woman has cats in nasty apartment, not good enough for cats. She cleans up. Still not good enough for cats, but woman allowed to live in it. Maybe it's time for the world to GET REAL?

Totally OT, I know, and I still think Casey is a victim to a ...point.

 

[bookworm474]

As much as she needs to be locked up, I don't think she should be exploited.

Show it to understand and maybe get others mental help to prevent something like this.

 

[azwriter]

When I look at the photos (all 1 million of them) of Casey, I see a very pretty girl. She has beautiful hair, no matter how it is styled or cut. She certainly knows how to apply make-up.
I do not feel sorry for her. But I do think it's a shame she is in this situation. I'm sure there was something worthwhile to work with to guide her into a responsible and capable person with a career.
But, I lay most of the blame for her behavior at the feet of Cindy. I think they had a relationship of jealousy and confusion since Casey was a child.
I think she learned how to lie and cover up from her mother. She was probably rewarded for keeping out of trouble by not letting her parents know what she's done. She learned early that lying was a way of coping and protecting yourself. Lying gave Casey every opportunity to appear the perfect daughter to her parents. The more she got away with lying, the better she became at it and the scope of her lies grew to lying to others ourside the family.
I was raised by a liar. My mom lied about everything. Most of it didn't even make sense as to why she lied. I always thought she was brought up lying becasue she came from a large family with a bunch of kids. It was her way of defending herself when something went wrong
It wasn't until the night before her funeral that I learned my oldest sister was only my half sister. Mother left a birth certificate in her purse that she always carried with her. That sister had a different father. A man my mom never married.
I later learned her parents disowned her and she spent almost a year in a home for unwed mothers before and after she had my sister.
My mom's entire life was based on a lie.
I think when Casey discovered she was pregnant with Caylee she did not want her mother to know. She kept it as long as she could. Why? Because she would not longer be the "perfect" daughter.
Cindy insisted Casey would keep the baby. I doubt Casey ever bonded with CAylee as her mother. She lived with a woman who took over the mother role of Caylee but kept insisting Casey act as the mom. I think Casey continued to receive mixed messages as to what she was supposed to do. AS long as she lived at home, she was under Cindy controll.
None of this excuses Casey for harming and killing her daughter. But, to me I believe Casey feared telling her mother Caylee was dead. She was scared of how Cindy would react. I think that fear was bigger than being caught by the police.
It's all just how I see it.

 

[tasylshari]

"Does anyone feel bad for Casey?"

duh, no

If you do feel sad for Casey, I suggest that you consult someone. Duh.

 

[tasylshari]

"Does anyone feel bad for Casey?"

duh, no

If you do feel sad for Casey, I suggest that you consult someone. Duh.

what she said. oh, yeah, it's what i just said...... DUH, NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

"Does anyone feel bad for Casey?"

duh, no

If you do feel sad for Casey, I suggest that you consult someone. Duh.

Your "duh" seems to indicate there is something defective in those who feel sad for Casey's situation as a whole. I can only speak for myself but let me assure you my feelings about this entire case do not come from a place of ignorance.

I will also say, I have consulted many "someones" in my lifetime. They are the ones who taught me that life isn't always black or white. One of their more valuable lessons are hate and anger are wasted energies.

I will continue to feel sad for the choices KC made and what her life could have been. But, this is in no way indication that I need help for my feelings.

 

[cloud]

I feel sorry for Caylee. She didn't even get a chance to think about what her life might have been.

She didn't get a chance to do anything much at all, except starting to grow up, learning how to read a book and how to sing.

Her mom seems to have been interested in teaching her how to go to sleep so she could follow her own star.

MO

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

I feel sorry for Caylee. She didn't even get a chance to think about what her life might have been.

MO

I think it goes without saying we all feel sad that Caylee's life was lost too soon. We wouldn't be here if we didn't have strong feelings about her loss. This thread is about feeling sorry for Casey and that's the subject I was commenting on.

 

[cloud]

I think it goes without saying we all feel sad that Caylee's life was lost too soon. We wouldn't be here if we didn't have strong feelings about her loss. This thread is about feeling sorry for Casey and that's the subject I was commenting on.

Of course. Then I guess my comment would be No.

MO

 

[Pedrosmom]

Casey lacks the ability to "feel" emotions, hence the sociopath in her. Feeling sorry for her is futile. She doesn't care one way or the other about anyone but herself. She feels sorry for herself in such a big way she doesn't need support. It's the wack job in her.