SC SC - Stanley Kotowski, 60, Hilton Head, 16 Aug 2024

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I don't believe Stan self harmed, based on the statement...will you go on without me. Stan clearly cares about his wife and if she would be OK, but feel his life was in jeopardy and "someone" was after him.

If he was in fact considering self harm, he would have done so in a way his family had closure, not leaving them guessing and searching.

Personal comment deleted by me...

Just my opinion....
 
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An earlier post pointed out how easily he could have gotten rides and distanced himself from HHI quite a bit. I assume the family has someone keeping an eye on their home? If that is somewhere he felt safe perhaps he would be trying to head that way.
I do believe he will try to head home or to the safety of a friend.

It's easy to catch a ride at a truck stop, especially someone like Stan. He doesn't look like an addict, well spoken. Spin a story ... came down to visit the area and I was robbed. Hard to get help with my accent. Yea, got no family, trying to get back home.

I can easily see a driver going North giving him a ride.

Moo...
 
I do believe he will try to head home or to the safety of a friend.

It's easy to catch a ride at a truck stop, especially someone like Stan. He doesn't look like an addict, well spoken. Spin a story ... came down to visit the area and I was robbed. Hard to get help with my accent. Yea, got no family, trying to get back home.

I can easily see a driver going North giving him a ride.

Moo...

I want to hope this is true, SS.

My fear and doubt is that, if the above scenario is accurate, he’d be North by now.

Or at the least, far enough away from the people whom he fears, and would have called his family to let them know he’s ok.

JM worried O.
 
Where are you Stan???
Your family must be so, so worried about you.
Please 'come home'. They will make sure you are safe and they will be safe as well.

My heart is breaking for this family. Years ago my spouse had a major mental breakdown. (He is fine now.) It was terrifying. Our kids didn't understand what was going on. Every time he went out the door I never knew if I'd see him again. Luckily he didn't disappear for more than a few hours at a time.
 
I don't believe Stan self harmed, based on the statement...will you go on without me. Stan clearly cares about his wife and if she would be OK, but feel his life was in jeopardy and "someone" was after him.

If he was in fact considering self harm, he would have done so in a way his family had closure, not leaving them guessing and searching.

Personal comment deleted by me...

Just my opinion....
I never really understood the "go on without me" comment. Go on with what? Life? The vacation? The trip home? I realize that if a person is having a mental breakdown they are not rational, but why run away the day you are supposed to be leaving? Seems that you would be relived to be on your way out with the family....
 
I want to hope this is true, SS.

My fear and doubt is that, if the above scenario is accurate, he’d be North by now.

Or at the least, far enough away from the people whom he fears, and would have called his family to let them know he’s ok.

JM worried O.
In this case not reaching out to family could be a conscious choice. Someone having a true paranoid episode might well believe family members are part of the plot. As long as the delusional state lasts, they aren’t likely to reach out to family. In fact, seeing news stories about how hard his family is looking for him and how much they want him back may convince them he was right to hide.

That doesn’t mean his family should stop the direct pleas to him. It’s important he knows they care, miss him and aren’t mad when he does have lucid moments.

MOO
 
Hi everyone, appreciate all the comments and replies.

Just popping in to say I was wrong about something. It turns out Stan walked off the day *before* they were supposed to leave, not the day of. I was corrected about this today.

Also, he'd apparently said "You would be fine without me" to Jackie one day prior to his leaving, not "Promise you'll go on without me" as reported elsewhere. Slightly different, although I don't know anything regarding the context of that conversation.

If you could continue spreading the word and sharing articles/flyers about him on social media, it would be greatly appreciated. Some of the buzz/energy tends to drop off after a week, which is understandable, but we're still just hoping someone out there in the area or nearby holds a piece of evidence or a clue to help us find answers. Thank you all so much.
 
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I apologize for my ignorance..but I have a question regarding his mental state when he left.

If he were paranoid and was having a mental health crisis, how long could an episode (lack of a better word) last? I guess I’m asking would he be in a constant state of paranoia, thinking someone was out to get him…and being terrified of the water & jellyfish?
 
I apologize for my ignorance..but I have a question regarding his mental state when he left.

If he were paranoid and was having a mental health crisis, how long could an episode (lack of a better word) last? I guess I’m asking would he be in a constant state of paranoia, thinking someone was out to get him…and being terrified of the water & jellyfish?

I have the same question, honestly. The delusion/psychosis was super new. Like, during this week long vacation new. So I don't think even Jackie knows at this point. I keep wondering when/if he'd snap out of it (assuming nothing else unfortunate happened).
 
I have the same question, honestly. The delusion/psychosis was super new. Like, during this week long vacation new. So I don't think even Jackie knows at this point. I keep wondering when/if he'd snap out of it (assuming nothing else unfortunate happened).
Has the family considered hiring a private investigator?
 
Also, he'd apparently said "You would be fine without me" to Jackie one day prior to his leaving, not "Promise you'll go on without me" as reported elsewhere. Slightly different, although I don't know anything regarding the context of that conversation.
RSBM
Thank you for clarifying @Orange And Purple. I first saw SK's case on a national online news outlet tonight. So your family's hard work at getting the word out is having an impact.

I have caught up on this thread. I want to first acknowledge how terrifying this must be for you, your family, and SK. I don't have much to add here, as many great minds have already contributed a lot. But I do have two recurring thoughts as I digest what we know so far, to some degree based on past WS cases.

1. Could SK's emotional stress, delusions, paranoia have triggered a Dissociative Fugue State, in which he could have entered a state of amnesia, not recognized anyone in the vacation unit, including his family, left abruptly and is now wandering and traveling with a different identity? That could be consistent with @Simply Southern's ideas. The case that is mentioned in the Wiki link, above, and also here on WS is Hannah Upp. She disappeared in 2017 from the U.S. Virgin Islands right before a hurricane struck the area. Her prior fugue states found her in water and so it is feared she went swimming and drowned, perhaps due to the incoming storm. I am not a psychologist, so this is conjecture on my part. It's just an idea that SK may not know who he is and could be going by a different name as he wanders.

2. Even with your clarification of SK's statement to Jackie, the day before he left, "You'll be fine without me", I still go to the possibility that SK may have decided to end his mental anguish in the nearby ocean. Given Ernesto's fierce effects on the eastern shore of the U.S., with strong rip tides, and the two Ohio men who separately drowned off Hilton Head the same day SK disappeared, he may have been taken out to sea in a rip tide. And from the updates Jackie has posted we've learned that before this trip, SK had no trepidation about the ocean. So perhaps he saw it as a way out that day. And sadly the WS case that comes to mind in this context is Susan McLean. She was a middle-aged woman from the U.S. vacationing with her husband and teen sons (IIRC) in Scotland, who wandered from their lodge and was found deceased by suicide in the woods.

This may be of no use to your family's search for SK, but in the spirit of sleuthing to help, I share. All IMO of course. That said, I sure hope SK is found alive soon.
 
Hi everyone, appreciate all the comments and replies.

Just popping in to say I was wrong about something. It turns out Stan walked off the day *before* they were supposed to leave, not the day of. I was corrected about this today.

Also, he'd apparently said "You would be fine without me" to Jackie one day prior to his leaving, not "Promise you'll go on without me" as reported elsewhere. Slightly different, although I don't know anything regarding the context of that conversation.

If you could continue spreading the word and sharing articles/flyers about him on social media, it would be greatly appreciated. Some of the buzz/energy tends to drop off after a week, which is understandable, but we're still just hoping someone out there in the area or nearby holds a piece of evidence or a clue to help us find answers. Thank you all so much.
Sadly, I'm thinking he just went into the small channel of water that was near the units. Something he hated, according to posts, but he just wanted to end his misery. Poor man. I can't imagine this man's poor family. MOO
 
I agree. He seems focused & knowing where he wants to go (out the door, down the walkway in the front)…but when he gets to the street (close to the vehicle) he seems confused to where he wants to go next…like he needs to think about what the next step to his “plan/journey” should be.

JMO
It looks more like he is looking for something in the street rather than being confused. Almost like he is looking for a car he arranged to pick him up.
 
It looks more like he is looking for something in the street rather than being confused. Almost like he is looking for a car he arranged to pick him up.
I was thinking this too, but then watching the Ring cam footage again... he's not wearing shoes. I get that he wasn't in a good mental space, but it seems so odd to not put on shoes if you were planning on going somewhere by car.
 
It looks more like he is looking for something in the street rather than being confused. Almost like he is looking for a car he arranged to pick him up.
What struck me is that he didn't look panicked or as-if he was paranoid, more like a person might look if they went out looking to see if the garbage had been picked up or the mailman was down the road.
 
What struck me is that he didn't look panicked or as-if he was paranoid, more like a person might look if they went out looking to see if the garbage had been picked up or the mailman was down the road.
I completely agree with this. His walk seemed calm and sure.

At the point when he paused and looked around, it was if he was looking to see if his ride was there to pick him up.

Does Stanley have any private accounts or credit cards that his wife might not know about?

I think it’s time to acquire the assistance of a private investigator.
 
I completely agree with this. His walk seemed calm and sure.

At the point when he paused and looked around, it was if he was looking to see if his ride was there to pick him up.

Does Stanley have any private accounts or credit cards that his wife might not know about?

I think it’s time to acquire the assistance of a private investigator.
Agree, he looks like he’s out looking for the newspaper or something, or waiting for a ride. So odd but deliberate.
 
Hi everyone, appreciate all the comments and replies.

Just popping in to say I was wrong about something. It turns out Stan walked off the day *before* they were supposed to leave, not the day of. I was corrected about this today.

Also, he'd apparently said "You would be fine without me" to Jackie one day prior to his leaving, not "Promise you'll go on without me" as reported elsewhere. Slightly different, although I don't know anything regarding the context of that conversation.

If you could continue spreading the word and sharing articles/flyers about him on social media, it would be greatly appreciated. Some of the buzz/energy tends to drop off after a week, which is understandable, but we're still just hoping someone out there in the area or nearby holds a piece of evidence or a clue to help us find answers. Thank you all so much.

My heart is so heavy for your family and all of you are in my prayers.

Something I’ve been wondering: I just can’t imagine why a public CCTV like at a restaurant or near a stop light hasn’t picked him up at some point. Sounds like Ring cams on private homes have too much set back. I’ve never been to HH — maybe “low tech” is part of the appeal? Not into CCTV?

Could he be hiding *under* a home? I know with potential for bad coastal storms, many beach houses in Wrightsville, Sea Island, around the Outer Banks, etc. don’t have basements and are elevated off the ground with that gap surrounded with lattice. Great place to hide.
 
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