Sentencing and beyond- JA General Discussion #5

[TexMex]

To balance things out. A pic of Travis

 

[Caylee Advocate]

To balance things out. A pic of Travis


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One word... lovely.

 

[Hope4More]

Yes, and she even has security staff, security cameras surrounding her enormous mansion. Oh, the good life. Sigh. Yet it's not on the level of Paris Hilton, lol. She referenced Paris Hilton to further enhance the sloppy pieced together "sex" tape. P.H.:sick: and sex in the same sentence somehow just seems wrong.

LMAO. Y'all are just cracking me up.....

 

[Caylee Advocate]

LMAO. Y'all are just cracking me up.....

Blame Tex, he started it. :laughing: I am just de-stressing.

 

[Hope4More]

CA...whaaaaaat? Didn't I just see you ask about TA's living room furniture?

 

[Caylee Advocate]

CA...whaaaaaat? Didn't I just see you ask about TA's living room furniture?

Yes, and it went POOF.

 

[Caylee Advocate]

I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.


Fingers were crossed so it isn't true.. but I will "try" harder.

 

[Hope4More]

Blame Tex, he started it. :laughing:

Why, I do and did. That's the "y'all" part. . You'd think I'd have figured out by now how to do multiple posters' multiple quotes, but nope.

Then again, I've recently become a senior citizen -officially- and still, to this very day, do not know how to tie my shoes. You can imagine how grateful and relieved I was when Velcro came along.

 

[Hope4More]

I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.
I promise to stay on topic.


Fingers were crossed so it isn't true.. but I will "try" harder.

I'm not helping, am I?

 

[TexMex]

In regards to Travis’ gender, sexuality, and his ‘cycle of abuse’ – or at least his awareness of that as time progressed with Arias:

Travis had been abused as a child - early childhood. I don't think he understood, his actual addiction was to the cycle of abuse, or should I say, his central nervous system had been wired to perceive ‘lack of nurture,’ resentment, anger, or distaste as minimized to ‘deep down none of this is really that bad, I can handle this.’ There is some ‘Stockholm Syndrome,’ that develops here (bonding with your tormentor, even pitying them). He developed quite the shame and aversion to resolving conflict none the less. I don’t think this has much to do with sex. That’s just how these people handle high stress even after it’s long been gone. The problem is, how to identify it once it’s back, and in a different form? Every abuse victim will go through some type of crisis either once or multiple times in their lives. The people they come into contact with will confuse them. Their trust of self and others are not as they would be for ‘normal men and women.’ So Travis was either A) actually addicted to sex and/or her and was beyond repair or B) psychologically evolving and either going to set aside this distraction in his life and pursue a ‘marriage type’ or C) was evolving emotionally and going to find ANOTHER unhealthy partner/’addiction.’

Well we all read his comments, but let’s not forget, in his blog, and through MUCH of what we know of him; he ALSO said he had to get back on course of pursuing ‘the marriage type.’ He didn’t feel he was behaving as he should, he needed to get his act together to achieve happiness.

Quite frankly, JA has several disorders; poor guy pitied the devil and he didn’t understand initially. He was targeted by a psychopath. That confusion is what kept him coming back initially, without his realization at this point. You will have a difficult time with identifying charming psychopaths when you lived the life Travis had. He was sheltered within his Mormon community after a point, mind you. He forgot what ‘bad’ was like. Those earlier memories get largely pushed aside or associated to feelings ‘to never go through again,’ that’s what trauma does. JA knew that. That’s why Travis was always so easy on her.

Getting assaulted at age 6, deprived of nurture, the human mind just develops mental dysfunction associated to pain & feelings of hurt – into adulthood. He was not merely 'smacked around.' He was pummeled. You can turn your back, but the child recognizes they are in a very dire situation, again, the mind believes someone is literally going to kill you – incidentally or not – the awareness is there. Fight or flight. He was ‘lucky’ enough to survive battered syndrome. He would have needed therapy. He displayed signs of boundary, anger-identification, and self-awareness issues before. And let me tell you, from what I read about him and from him, those were not mere words of a man hell-bent on conforming to religion. There were PLENTY of Mormon males who felt Arias was wack and had no issue telling or thinking her so.

That is what messed with Travis’ mind. His 'addiction' was the cycle of abuse and emotional reconciliation over the very disturbing fact that his vulnerabilities were being taken advantage of by this female who claimed to be ‘so sweet’ and want him. I mean she played psychological games with his head that he didn’t even know about until months later when it hit him so… and I think it’s very important to bear in mind that this all started early on, with those letters to Sky Hughes. I mean, this girl was so crazy, he didn’t even know. He was being toyed with. I think towards the end, he put those letters into context. He finally knew where Sky was coming from, how exorbitant her games were and how dysfunctional with a capital D she really was. I think it’s unfair to say no man would eventually figure that out and eventually run scared. I mean, hello, look at that guy Bobby Juarez. That guy left his residence! She was capable of disturbing some muscly-guy even then.

I do agree with some up top comments about his sexual attraction not being one of the most conceivable ones, we are talking about a child abuse victim. They are not simply 'addicted to sex.' This goes beyond that, you will find that very common with both males and female victims. They are naïve, susceptible to predators – unless they become hyperaware – as many of them are also super-sensitive.

I don’t want to really get into my sources, but just some people I went to school with, worked with, and stories from individuals who ran a child-care pavilion I was employed with:

They turn to sex as a coping mechanism – at least one viable damaged relationship where the cycle continues with their partners – but this seems to be more about poor communication of feelings** more than anything. Sex is communication, to them, the way out of a frustrating situation gone wrong. They are naively under the presumption someone finally loves them for who they are, weaknesses and all. Their partner may also be a former victim of domestic abuse. Two damaged persons do not usually make it work, but the power dominant partner is VERY capable of violating the other's trust, psyche, and the sex will continue regardless. One may have developed into an abuser, whereas their partner, develops a natural immunity to anger and/or despises altercations of ANY kind. The predator/prey complex is really as simple to allocate as this.

That* IMO, was Travis. I do think his one-time experience was all he needed. He did call her a sociopath. Whatever he said, his mind was blowing off steam/finalizing his ‘relationship’ with her. He had repressed all those feelings. I think he instantaneously figured out she was a batterer – something he despised. I do not think he affiliated the title of 'lustful female' after this, the only thing he had to do now was move on with his life somehow and let her make something of her own. Because she literally destroyed him.

Remember when JA asked him to visit her ‘sing?’ He declined. She begged. She got nothing. Once the naivety within the child abuse victim comes to realization, MANY of them CAN move on. Hell, Deanna, loved him so. It depends on what state of mind they're in when reality hits. He was a big brother, had friends, experienced real emotions past what Arias could provide. If anyone could have moved on from Jodi’s antics, it would have been him. I see he was developing a real awareness, and he HAD to, he was struggling financially at this point. I mean why else did she go over there like some psycho-*itch? He rejected her, and she knew he was going to.

Anyhow, feeling unrelatable, using sex as a coping mechanism, detachment to strong emotions/commitment, these were Travis’s actual issues here. I don’t think him the ‘average male,’ in regards to ‘addiction’ because it sooo goes beyond that, again, ya’ll form your own opinions but I’m sorry, I’ve met too many people in his situation. Do they ever get a healthy relationship? It’s hard for them. But they don’t usually invite the pain in, and once it’s been categorized, they’ll break it off if it too closely wrecks them again. They are survivors of their original stories, after all. They don’t give you medals for surviving psychological warfare/torment.

Great post.
I think his issues had a lot to do with the cycle he referred to. Add to his issues a psychopath and that's toxic to the extreme.
And he was trying. I think he bared his soul. Admitted his "addiction", realized the pattern. I have no doubt he thought he'd be ok. She was 1,000 miles away. He didn't go hear her sing. When they talked about the Oregon coast trip he waffled. I do not think he would have ever gone to see her. He'd make excuses. He'd have "work", church events, family obligations until she left him alone finally.

Intellectually he was "done".
But when she appeared on June 4 the temptation/addiction he described got the better of him. She was there, all smiles with apologies/manipulation and KY jmo

What's the old verse?
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

 

[b_lab7410]

Yes, and it went POOF.

Crap. :desert:

 

[Caylee Advocate]

I'm not helping, am I?

To be blunt... NO! (but I love being bad, so it all balances out) OMG, I'm hanging out with Senior citizens,, YIKES, that's so cool.

 

[b_lab7410]

Great post.
I think his issues had a lot to do with the cycle he referred to. Add to his issues a psychopath and that's toxic to the extreme.
And he was trying. I think he bared his soul. Admitted his "addiction", realized the pattern. I have no doubt he thought he'd be ok. She was 1,000 miles away. He didn't go hear her sing. When they talked about the Oregon coast trip he waffled. I do not think he would have ever gone to see her. He'd make excuses. He'd have "work", church events, family obligations until she left him alone finally.

Intellectually he was "done".
But when she appeared on June 4 the temptation/addiction he described got the better of him. She was there, all smiles with apologies/manipulation and KY jmo

What's the old verse?
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

Yes but there is a difference between "addiction," and "compulsive behavior." And what he was doing, was more in line with compulsive behavior. One of those is hereditary and the other, can be dropped once you see it might be the bearer of psychopathy. I really don't think she could hide her excitement and premeditation but as I said before... I'm in the category of people shall I say, that believe she acquaintance/date-raped him into submission that day. He seems devastated in all of those pictures. Usually a 'self-loathing' booty call will at least feign some interest, he seems as if his stomach is literally tied in knots.

I think he did what he had to do to survive that day with her borderline butt breaking and entering - which she did often - slept in his house unannounced and stuff.

 

[Hope4More]

To be blunt... NO! (but I love being bad, so it all balances out) OMG, I'm hanging out with Senior citizens,, YIKES, that's so cool.

Not as cool as being geriatric and hanging out with whippersnappers.

 

[krkrjx]

I always say I am addicted to cheesecake. I love it, can't turn it down no matter the consequences. I sometimes go very long periods of time when I don't have it but as soon as the opportunity to have it comes around, I am there. But...I do quite well during those times that I do not have it, so I doubt that my body requires it to function the way a body can require fixes with drug or alcohol addiction.

I know that there is such a thing as sexual addiction, but I do not think Travis suffered from this disorder. I think he was hooked on the pleasure he got from the kind of kinky sex JA offered. He ran with a crowd that was less likely to be so inclined. He liked it, alot. I see no actual evidence of real addiction, though. IMO he said he was addicted to sex the way I say I am addicted to cheesecake.

 

[b_lab7410]

To be blunt... NO! (but I love being bad, so it all balances out) OMG, I'm hanging out with Senior citizens,, YIKES, that's so cool.

Ooh, snap, I wonder if Hope will tomato you for that... :tomato:

Lol, I feel we are all a great bunch. :websleuther:

 

[TexMex]

RIP Travis

My favorite part of Martinez's book is when he drove five hours to personally pick up original examples of Travis's handwriting from Deanna. She'd saved every letter he wrote her while she was on her mission. Juan needed handwriting to combat the forged pedo letters the defense was trying to admit into the trial. Juan drove himself because he didn't want to risk them getting lost if they were shipped.
When he got to Deanna's, he was led to the kitchen table. Through the sliding glass door he sees Napoleon. Deanna opens the door for Napoleon, Travis's loyal friend in life to meet Juan, Travis's loyal spokesman in death

 

[knt]

Someone was looking for the pic of the killer posing with mans shirt on and a guys head in the pic.. here ya' go, and I also have another that some may not have seen before. Will post if anyone wants to see it. Sorry for posting her nasty pic, but found it in my files.


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Yes, please post the other pic you have. I've never seen these more professional photos before. Where were they found?

 

[Caylee Advocate]

Not as cool as being geriatric and hanging out with whippersnappers.

Now that is really cool hunh? I'll think of your geriatric old butt while my whippersnapper arse is out tonight. You know I love ya, and I am just kidding. G'nite Granny. G'nite everyone!!

 

[Hope4More]

Oh, so it was more than just white is "non-descript"? Lots of people own white cars, if it wasn't the same type, how was she going to pin that on the roommate?

If white was by choice, I don't think it was about pinning anything on a roommate, just that neighbors would be less likely to notice a white car in TA's driveway if they were accustomed to seeing a white car in his driveway.