I do not see Travis as self-loathing. I believe he carried some emotional scars that made him feel inferior in some ways, inept in others, vulnerable at times, but I do not believe he hated himself. For that matter, I think he was self-aware, insightful, tolerant to a fault, all because of his childhood. I think he was capable of feeling enormous amounts of guilt, partly due to his past and partly due to his religious beliefs. But all in all, I believe Travis was capable of loving others, and he could not do that if he did not love himself.
Guilt can really do a number on a person on many levels. And Travis carried a great deal of it...he was always striving to be a better person and was disappointed in himself whenever he fell short of those goals. But self-loathing? Nope. I don't see that.
I don't think he hated himself either, at least not continually. But I do think he was more damaged than just feeling occasionally inferior, self-doubting, and vulnerable.
I was referring to one specific period of time, mid to late May. Travis was definitely experiencing...choose a term--intense feelings of guilt, or of self-hatred, or of worthlessness. Wasn't the first time, either.
I can't remember which book it was that included Taylor's memory of conversations he had with Travis after the moved to Mesa and they had become sexually active. What Travis expressed to Taylor wasn't about just feeling disappointment with himself, or the like. He told Taylor he hated himself, as in loathed himself, had difficulty living with himself. Powerful words, and emotions.
According to Taylor, those feelings weren't connected to Travis's relationship with the Church, the self-hatred was entirely about Travis despising himself for being "weak," and for failing to exercise self-control.
The tolerant to a fault. Yes, precisely, emphasis perhaps on the "to a fault." Compassion and the ability to forgive are wonderful and admirable traits, up to a point. Extending compassion and forgiveness to one's abuser or when others routinely cross the line, not so much. IMO sometimes what appears like tolerance is better understood as not being able to set boundaries, for whatever reason.
Self aware. Travis wanted and tried to be that, IMO. I think of self awareness as a process, not a destination, and TA certainly seemed to be travelling that path. Rereading his "Raising Me" first chapter on his blog, though, it is difficult not to be struck by what he says in the first paragraph--that he "wouldn't have changed a thing" about his childhood. Really? I understand why he said that, but IMO that sentiment reflected denial and rationalization far more than it did transcendence (completely typical for adult survivors of childhood abuse).