Been through that twice, Venom. Had a child with each one of my ex's. No child support whatsoever. All you can do is roll with the punches and move on. It won't be easy, but you have to do what you have to do. There will be times when you want to scream and/or cry. When you can find a place away from your kids, DO IT! Don't bottle it up, get it out of your system, and then go onto the next situation.
Don't overwhelm yourself by "projecting". Deal with the "Here and Now". Things will change unexpectedly so don't think about something that hasn't happened yet because it probably won't.
Best advice I was ever given is: 90% of the things we worry about never happen, the other 10% aren't half as bad as we thought they would be.
If you truly believe "It" is over, get into an attorney NOW. Be the "plaintiff", have your terms recorded in the initial filing. If you need a protective order, do it at the same time as the filing.
Because you are a stay at home mom, most attorneys will bill your "ex" for their representation. If that fails, Community Legal Aid can be a huge help.
Tell a family member or friend what is going on and have them available to sit your kids when you have to go through appts., court appearances, etc.
Ask for more than you need because the other side will always want to change the terms, and the judge will look at you as being cooperative if you give in a bit.
9 times out of 10, men don't want custody. It's a bluff, a very expensive one. My experience is that if you agree, they'll be begging to give custody back within a month.
Know what your assets and bills are, along with previous tax filings, what you own free and clear, and if there is a mortgage, car payments etc.
That's for starters.............just get in to see an attorney before he does.
Thanks!
uke:
