The Duggar Family: 18 Kids & Counting

[Tricia]

Remember that's exactly what Rusty Yates said as far as letting God control how many children they had before his wife murdered them all!

Does anyone else notice they almost look like a cult with the homemade dresses and no cutting of the females hair?

Oh Sassygerl you read my mind on this.

Homeschooled? Nothing wrong with that but good Lord, how does this mother ever find time for herself? Can you imagine homeschooling 15 kids with a brand new baby to boot?

Remember Andrea Yates lost it because she was "told" to stay home and raise the kids and teach the kids and play with the kids and serve her husband. She literally lost her mind and started hearing voices.

This family really worries me. I am afraid we might be reading about them later for God knows what.

 

[sondrad]

Remember that's exactly what Rusty Yates said as far as letting God control how many children they had before his wife murdered them all!

Does anyone else notice they almost look like a cult with the homemade dresses and no cutting of the females hair?

That 'cult' of long hair and dresses would be a religious expression...such as wearing yahlmukes or dreadlocks or a headdressing,etc etc.....
come on, sensitivity people, I am so surpirsed, coming from a board that is so compassionate.
Okay bash me, but I think this is incredible and to be respected. Do I think we all should do it- NO WAY- first of all we all could not do it, it takes VERY special people to be so loving. Secondly, they can obviusoly afford it and she is homeschooling her kids so its not even a burden on your taxes for education. Thirdly and finally, I have seen MANY MANY children grow up in unusual settings and be loving productive adults. How come different is always ridiculed....:waitasec:

 

[reb]

that "cult-like" quality is becoming more prevelant these days in the "new-old" type of christianity... but i think it's just a throw-back to a simpler era, which is probably a reaction to our complicated, overly-materialistic times, which are also full of perverse indulgence, aimlessness, disintegration of the family unit, etc... and i know that many of them see the women's lib movement of the 1970's as the most evil thing that ever happened to the human race (LOL!)-- and the new stay-at-home, submissive wife thing is kind of a backlash to that.
(not to say that all SAH moms are submissive- of course not!, or that there's anything wrong with not working an outside job. just that these new, old-fashioned "frontier" christian types seem to embrace that as the ideal way of life)

but think about it, would you rather have your daughter dress like little house on the prairie, or like a britney spears kinder-*advertiser censored*?

(hhhmm... a happy medium comes to mind;; LOL)

anyway,, i have no problem with their way of life in general & i actually agree with some of the things they believe in, strong family unit, community, clean living, self-reliance, etc... and many times kids from these families turn out better than the most spoiled, pampered, privileged kid from the suburbs, who went to all the best schools. it's just that breeding-like-there's-no-tomorrow part i have issues with, more from an environmental standpoint. these days, there's just NO NEED to do this anymore, the world is full enough... especially when there's so many homeless, unwanted kids out there!
and, it's not like women can play dumb anymore about where babies come from. i think we all know now!!

as for them adjusting well outside the home, these folks usually just stay safe within groups of their own kind, so they'll probably be fine. i think growing up with so many siblings & within their church community probably makes up for the fact that each one may not get much individual attention, and lack of contact with "outsiders".
they'll probably find a mate who fits their beliefs, and marry, and raise more kids just like themselves, & probably won't have a problem. some kids may rebel and "break out" into the outside world, but will they really be any better off...? think of the new generation amish kids who are diving head-on into the modern world, with cars, cell phones, smoking/drinking, drug addictions, emptiness & aimlessness. i have also learned that those from the hutterites sect who "stray" from the flock & go work in the outside world, usually end up coming back.

maybe in a way, ignorance (of the outside world) is bliss....

 

[Amraann]

To wom ever spoke of their MIL that was back when having that many children was rather common Birthcontrol was not common (if even available)

Hard work and going to college was just what was done..

These children will not be ready for college. I am not saying pamper or spoil them I am saying they won't even know how to use a computer!!!

 

[Norma]

To each his own, I guess.

I don't think I could manage 16 cats, let alone 16 kids, but that's just me.


Though I had only one sibling, all my friends and several boyfriends came from large families. They just seemed like a lot of fun and there was always someone to talk to or bother. Though none of them did have a truckload of children for themselves.

Look at it this way - we're running out of children and this family could be responsible for keeping at least half of us supported in Social Security in our old age.

 

[concernedperson]

To wom ever spoke of their MIL that was back when having that many children was rather common Birthcontrol was not common (if even available)

Hard work and going to college was just what was done..

These children will not be ready for college. I am not saying pamper or spoil them I am saying they won't even know how to use a computer!!!

That is what I am saying. It seems the father has his own agenda and is using the wife and kids to promote this. It is not cool when free will is taken away and when promoting sexual ability is the thing that is crowed about. His agenda is certainly not love of his children just how many children can he have. Of course, he wants someone else to take care of them. He isn't thinking about anyone but himself.

 

[Tricia]

That 'cult' of long hair and dresses would be a religious expression...such as wearing yahlmukes or dreadlocks or a headdressing,etc etc.....
come on, sensitivity people, I am so surpirsed, coming from a board that is so compassionate.
Okay bash me, but I think this is incredible and to be respected. Do I think we all should do it- NO WAY- first of all we all could not do it, it takes VERY special people to be so loving. Secondly, they can obviusoly afford it and she is homeschooling her kids so its not even a burden on your taxes for education. Thirdly and finally, I have seen MANY MANY children grow up in unusual settings and be loving productive adults. How come different is always ridiculed....:waitasec:

Not ridiculing. Not judging. To each his own. I applaud these parents for making sure they have the resources to take care of their family.

I just worry. Worry because I have seen this before. I hope more than anything I am wrong. I want them to be happy and show the world that a couple with 16+ kids and a mom that home schools them won't end up nuts.

They dress exactly like a polygamous family. However they are not. I would say just very conservative.

Also we are discussing them because they chose to be in the paper and to have their story aired on TV. Opens them up for discussion.

 

[sondrad]

To wom ever spoke of their MIL that was back when having that many children was rather common Birthcontrol was not common (if even available)

Hard work and going to college was just what was done..

These children will not be ready for college. I am not saying pamper or spoil them I am saying they won't even know how to use a computer!!!

They have computers.
And homeschooled children succeed at a higher rate and have higher test scores than public or private school kids combined.....

 

[sondrad]

Also we are discussing them because they chose to be in the paper and to have their story aired on TV. Opens them up for discussion.

I like discussion!
I offer an alternative view :innocent:

This family....I LIKE it!!!

 

[JBean]

That 'cult' of long hair and dresses would be a religious expression...such as wearing yahlmukes or dreadlocks or a headdressing,etc etc.....
come on, sensitivity people, I am so surpirsed, coming from a board that is so compassionate.
Okay bash me, but I think this is incredible and to be respected. Do I think we all should do it- NO WAY- first of all we all could not do it, it takes VERY special people to be so loving. Secondly, they can obviusoly afford it and she is homeschooling her kids so its not even a burden on your taxes for education. Thirdly and finally, I have seen MANY MANY children grow up in unusual settings and be loving productive adults. How come different is always ridiculed....:waitasec:

To me it's only about being able to provide time for these kids, not money. We are busy trying to keep our ratios down in the local school districts so that teachers can teach properly. Why would we want to increase the ratio of parent to child? I think it is impossible to give 16 plus children what they need in terms of emotional love and support when the parents are so outnumbered. That is the selfish aspect of it, not loving, IMO. They want more kids for the sake of having more kids. I don't care that they are different, rich, poor whatever. I do not know of any way to properly watch, guide, love, hold, teach ,talk, and be in sync with that many kids for their lives. Plus we know dad is at work during the day, so is this accomplished during the day by mom? Please don't tell me they have help, cause that's makes it even worse IMO.

 

[sondrad]

To me it's only about being able to provide time for these kids, not money. We are busy trying to keep our ratios down in the local school districts so that teachers can teach properly. Why would we want to increase the ratio of parent to child? I think it is impossible to give 16 plus children what they need in terms of emotional love and support when the parents are so outnumbered. That is the selfish aspect of it, not loving, IMO. They want more kids for the sake of having more kids. I don't care that they are different, rich, poor whatever. I do not know of any way to properly watch, guide, love, hold, teach ,talk, and be in sync with that many kids for their lives. Plus we know dad is at work during the day, so is this accomplished during the day by mom? Please don't tell me they have help, cause that's makes it even worse IMO.

This is an interesting conversation... I just dropped my son off at college in VA this past Sept. We had a parent session (or two) with speakers on various subjects...financing, residential life etc..
One of the sessions was on what our role was now that our kids are moving on. They shared an interesting fact I did not know and am currently reading up on: You know what they (sociologists) are calling our generation of parents??? The HELICOPTER generation......because we hover! No seriously, they have been studying this and have all sorts of research and outcomes from our HELICOPTER parenting style. Some not so good

I mention this because after hearing about the HELICOPTER generation and seeing some recent struggles by my son, which should have been very predictable based on the hovering we have done as parents, I wonder if chidlren from large families are MORE adjusted and able to be a fit and functioning member of a large society?

 

[concernedperson]

This is an interesting conversation... I just dropped my son off at college in VA this past Sept. We had a parent session (or two) with speakers on various subjects...financing, residential life etc..
One of the sessions was on what our role was now that our kids are moving on. They shared an interesting fact I did not know and am currently reading up on: You know what they (sociologists) are calling our generation of parents??? The HELICOPTER generation......because we hover! No seriously, they have been studying this and have all sorts of research and outcomes from our HELICOPTER parenting style. Some not so good

I mention this because after hearing about the HELICOPTER generation and seeing some recent struggles by my son, which should have been very predictable based on the hovering we have done as parents, I wonder if chidlren from large families are MORE adjusted and able to be a fit and functioning member of a large society?

No, they aren't. They are expected to be parental role models when it isn't in their capability as children. Don't expect adults from children....it is unfair to do so.

 

[reb]

god, what's a poor parent to do...?? you hover over them, they turn out bad; you DON'T hover, they may turn up dead.... sheesh....

 

[sondrad]

No, they aren't. They are expected to be parental role models when it isn't in their capability as children. Don't expect adults from children....it is unfair to do so.

???

sorry, can you expand on this thought, I dont quite understand how this relates to the topic of my post?.....

 

[Sassygerl]

I just wonder how they keep all those "J" names straight!!!! With just three I'm saying at times "grrrr...whoever you are" as I stumble through names...LOL!

 

[sondrad]

Taken from the website GBOD-Adult and young adult ministries

"Although the research isn't conclusive about this new phenomenon, let's take a look at the ups and downs of the emerging trend of "helicopter parenting":

[font=Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, Swiss, SunSans-Regular]The "Ups" [/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, Swiss, SunSans-Regular]Parent-child connections are becoming [/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, Swiss, SunSans-Regular]stronger than in past generations.[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, Swiss, SunSans-Regular]Parent-child "camaraderie" is on the rise – leading to children being more likely to call their parents if something is wrong, share more openly with their parents, and ask more for guidance.[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, Swiss, SunSans-Regular]Parents are seeking to improve security issues and job market stability. They are trying to provide a better future for their children.[/font]

The "Downs"
[font=Arial, Helvetica, Geneva, Swiss, SunSans-Regular]Research indicates that too much parent involvement could hinder a child's development of healthy relationships in the future.Students are often lacking basic negotiation, conflict resolution, survival, and coping skills.Students tend not to develop the self-reliance and "search for freedom" mentality that is typical of this developmental period.[/font]

Here are some more articles about "helicopter parenting" to check out:

From the news:

• Colleges Ward Off Overinvolved Parents
• No Escape from "Helicopter Parents"

Two Colleges Respond:

• Helicopter Parents by Kathleen Holder
• An Article for Parents by Scott Chesney"

 

[tennessee]

What generation of parents are you in? I am mid 30s and have a teen daughter. She has always picked her own friends (and they come from all walks). She doesn't have a bone of prejudice in her body. We definitely haven't hovered. She hasn't always made good decisions but we have let her make them. She deals with the consequences of her actions whether good or bad.

I think it is irresponsible for these parents to be bringing so many children into the world. It would be impossible to give them each the individual attention they need.

Having so many siblings doesn't always equal big happy family. My grandfather was one of 13. The family wasn't close.

Just because you can afford it, doesn't make it right. However, as much as I disagree with them having so many, I wouldn't want to interfere with their reproductive rights. To each his own. I just have to shake my head and wonder.



JMHO

 

[sondrad]

What generation of parents are you in? I am mid 30s and have a teen daughter. She has always picked her own friends (and they come from all walks). She doesn't have a bone of prejudice in her body. We definitely haven't hovered. She hasn't always made good decisions but we have let her make them. She deals with the consequences of her actions whether good or bad.

Good for you! I am 43. My husband is 45. We have three children: 17,16 and 15. 17yo just went of to college. I would say I hovered. Yes, I most definitely hovered.

PS I dont really know were the "prejudice" comment you wrote plays into this, but good for your daughter

 

[reb]

good points, but at what point does govt. have to step in and interfere with its citizens' reproductive rights? here in the USA we could end up like china sooner than we think. what happens when there is no more room for people to live comfortably and the govt. can no longer support the burden of so many people?

people like the couple in the article, don't seem to think or care about such issues. they want to be able to do whatever they want, and what they want is all that matters.
they give "god" credit for all those kids, but in reality it's all their OWN CHOICE.

(that being said, at least they're not irresponsible crack addicts or child abusers... as the other poster said- it could be much worse.)

 

[JBean]

This is an interesting conversation... I just dropped my son off at college in VA this past Sept. We had a parent session (or two) with speakers on various subjects...financing, residential life etc..
One of the sessions was on what our role was now that our kids are moving on. They shared an interesting fact I did not know and am currently reading up on: You know what they (sociologists) are calling our generation of parents??? The HELICOPTER generation......because we hover! No seriously, they have been studying this and have all sorts of research and outcomes from our HELICOPTER parenting style. Some not so good

I mention this because after hearing about the HELICOPTER generation and seeing some recent struggles by my son, which should have been very predictable based on the hovering we have done as parents, I wonder if chidlren from large families are MORE adjusted and able to be a fit and functioning member of a large society?

Yes, this an interesting topic. I guess much depends on what type of hovering one does and what tools you arm them with whilst hovering.
While I would never solve my kids problems for them, they knew I was available for each and everyone of them to come up with solutions.
Even when they were in grade school, I would see the paper they worked on all night, forgotten on the kitchen table, as they walked out the door for school.But they knew better than to call me and ask me to bring it to the school,when they realized they had forgotten it, because I would never do it. Part of the assignment was to do the work and turn it in. What I taught them was to be independent and do for themselves. As they all went off to college, they took care of their own business.