Trial Catch-Phrases /Bloopers,Baezisms and just plain funny MERGED

[AvalonBlue]

One of my favs from JB is when he said in his opening statement, "This is a family that had to keep its' secrets quiet."

What else are you supposed to do with secrets?

Redundant much, Mr. Baez?

 

[Nore]

:floorlaugh:That's another on that just about did me in.

-------------
OMG. that did me in too as he's sitting there playing with it. :floorlaugh:

 

[seekingjustice**]

I laughed when JA said to the Bug Guy.... you would agree with me, would you not, when I say that tobacco spit doesn't smell like human decomposition..Ever? then the bug guy says.. I don't know if I could put that qualifier of Ever on there blah blah blah.... and JA says.....You're saying that SALIVA, DECOMPOSING SALIVA, can smell like a full decomposing body. Is that what you're saying!!

 

[Leila]

This is a precious moment. At about 20:44 the judge asks the jury after break if they had a package in the jury room. The dessert lady? And then he giggles at something said that you can't hear..... Just precious!

http://www.wftv.com/video/28275837/index.html

HHBP has got the cutest giggle.

 

[Cayleefan]

Originally posted by AvalonBlue...

One of my favs from JB is when he said in his opening statement, "This is a family that had to keep its' secrets quiet."

What else are you supposed to do with secrets?

Redundant much, Mr. Baez?

Too funny. :giggle::lol::shush:They had to keep their secrets quiet, as opposed to publicly announcing them, whenever they felt the urge.

 

[butwhatif?]

One of my favs from JB is when he said in his opening statement, "This is a family that had to keep its' secrets quiet."

What else are you supposed to do with secrets?

Redundant much, Mr. Baez?

:giggle:

Also from OS:

'They hid this child like a flower in the attic'
"They had murder on their minds"

What's with the all the trying-but-failing-to-be-dramatic book references? :floorlaugh:

 

[Cayleefan]

Judge Perry stated the other day, something to the effect, " You cannot take a shield and turn it in to a sword." When he said this, someone from the online chat said, "Try telling that to Gladiator." I laughed so hard. Quick thinking on someone's part. Some of the funniest things that have cracked me up, I read in the live online chat rooms. So funny.

 

[Kelroy]

Not funny haha, but funny...well, okay, just stupid:

JB suggesting that Lee followed in his father's (molesting) footsteps...as if GA pulled Lee aside and said, "Hey son, if you were ever considering molesting someone, I know just the right victim..."

I would say, although I am neither a psychologist nor a chemist, that a brother of a SA victim who was the type of brother the victim would confide in, would not be the kind of brother who would say, "Hey, I know you told me what Dad did to you in confidence and I acted horrified at the time, but now you got me thinking..."

These are hilarious. I truly never thought I'd laugh at any aspect of a sexual abuse allegation raised during a capital murder trial, but . . . Baez really isn't much of a wordsmith, is he? I've wondered if it's just bias that makes people pick apart what Baez does and says, but no--I'm pretty sure it's because most of what he says really is laughable.

This is a precious moment. At about 20:44 the judge asks the jury after break if they had a package in the jury room. The dessert lady? And then he giggles at something said that you can't hear..... Just precious!

http://www.wftv.com/video/28275837/index.html

Aw, that was funny. It seems like I could hear several voices chime in at once when he asked if they'd had a package from the dessert lady, as if the jury was that excited about whatever it was. And then you can hear other people start to laugh at the jury's outburst before the judge says "Uh, just curious."


As for a blooper of my own--how about the judge's "This. Is. Not. My. First. Radio! . . . Rodeo, rather."

I constantly make verbal slip-ups like that at the most inopportune moments.

 

[Donjeta]

:giggle:

Also from OS:

'They hid this child like a flower in the attic'
"They had murder on their minds"

What's with the all the trying-but-failing-to-be-dramatic book references? :floorlaugh:

Oh but flower in the attic is so much prettier picture than

"they hid this child like garbage in a trash dump"

 

[Mamabear1963]

Another favorite...

Doctor Spitz...on the duct tape...

JA: how would the person who applied the duct tape to the skull have done it...

Spitz: you know you take the the duct tape...it comes on a roll...I am sorry I didn't bring any.

 

[butwhatif?]

I know Baez reminds me of someone and I just sussed it

For you guys outside of the UK who are not familiar with Ricky Gervais in 'The Office'.....whaddya think?

YouTube - ‪David Brent Smug‬‏

Here's the Oz version of JB :giggle:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJuXIq7OazQ"]YouTube - ‪Its the vibe of the thing...‬‏[/ame]

ETA: LOL I see that gutfeeling already posted this....

 

[butwhatif?]

I posted this in the JB texts thread, but thought I'd cross post it here for your amusement. Enjoy!


Who doesn't need a little humor after today's fiasco?

TOP TEN JB COURTROOM TEXTS:

10: @icaseyomarie Yes, Juror 10 does have nice eyes, but I'm in the middle of questioning this witness, can we do this later?
9: @PocketSquares.com Thanks for reminding me. I actually mailed that check yesterday. I swear.
8: @OrangeCoLibrary Sorry to bother you again. Can I also have the definition for "specious" ? Thanks.
7: @Zynga.com I just got up to do a cross examination, and when I sat back down at my computer, all my Texas HoldEm chips were gone. Can you look into this for me?
6: @GeraldoRivera: Cool, bro. See you there. Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, what kind of gel do you use?
5: @DogPsychics.com I don't care if he doesn't like the car, my butt is on the line here and I'm running out of options, so you'd better make sure Scruffy is available for deposition tomorrow.
4: @ABCBachelorette: I know! Shocker! I can't believe she sent West home and kept Ryan! Whatever!
3: @Cheney Mason: Yeah, him. Third row, blue shirt, nerdy looking. Ask him if he's a chemist. Where's a freaking chemist when you need one?
2: @icaseyomarie For the tenth time, no, I will NOT ask if Juror 10 is free in 2031. And get out of my chair.
1: @JeffAshton I know you are, but what am I. Hahahahaha!

Funniest.Post.Ever!! :goldcrown:

 

[leophoenix]

Here you go Souls. From about 9 minutes in.

http://www.wftv.com/video/28275837/index.html

What is even weirder than that is that some of the farmers here in SC use tobacco powder mixed with water as an organic insecticide.


Here is a classroom activity on how to kill flies with tobacco and the DT witness claims flies are drawn to it.

http://www.entm.purdue.edu/entomology/outreach/insectivity/tobacco.activity.htm

 

[LaLaw2000]

I hope the jurors get to read this thread after the trial. It is priceless!

 

[Soulmagent]

Dr S to JA ; "You mean you can see in the skull without opening it? well You will have to show me how to do that."

JA to Dr s (while pointing at the skull)" there's a little hole right in the Bottom."
@20:40

http://www.wftv.com/video/28281712/index.html

Notice the happy look on JA's face as he is happy help teach the Dr a new trick.

I could decide it is was funny or horrible but after getting over the shock of it being extremely tacky I decided it was (if you isolate it from the fact this is a murder trial) very funny.

 

[RSDhoping for a cure]

This article craked me up but the part I'm posting had me rolling!

http://abovethelaw.com/2011/06/fear-and-loathing-the-squeakquel/

7:10 There’s someone named Jengasaurus? Nancy Grace keeps saying Jengasaurus. I don’t know what this means, but it sounds vaguely threatening.

7:11 We have our first caller and we have our first use of “baby daddy.”

7:12 Jean Casarez. My bad.

 

[AvalonBlue]

:giggle:

Also from OS:

'They hid this child like a flower in the attic'
"They had murder on their minds"

What's with the all the trying-but-failing-to-be-dramatic book references? :floorlaugh:

:great:
Thank you, butwhatif, for reminding me of this one! One of the best ever. I was laughing out loud when I heard it during JB's OS, and I'm almost getting an even bigger kick out of it re-reading it today. The cumulative effect of JB "gems" since then keeps making all of them more hilarious.
:floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

Right now I'm watching Dr. Drew and Dr. Kessler is being critical of Dr. G's autopsy on Caylee, puzzling how there could have been hair if there was no skin on the scalp for the hair to be attached to. Do any of these guys pay attention or review any pictures/reports before spouting off? I'm being reminded of JB's "hair being on top of the head" comments. Makes me want to pull mine out!
ullhair:

 

[scorekeeper]

Good afternoon - at 9am
Good afternoon - at 10am
Good afternoon - at 11am
Good afternoon - at 1:30pm

Sheesh - does JB even know what time it is?

I quess not - he proved that today :great: :loser: :waitasec:

 

[allycat1208]

I think Dr. Spitz testimony was by far the funniest. In fact I don't remember any testimony from a witness making me laugh much at all. Please post all of his funny answers on here if you remember them. He will surely to down in history for this trial I think for bringing in some good laughs.

 

[allycat1208]

Dr S to JA ; "You mean you can see in the skull without opening it? well You will have to show me how to do that."

JA to Dr s (while pointing at the skull)" there's a little hole right in the Bottom."
@20:40

http://www.wftv.com/video/28281712/index.html

Notice the happy look on JA's face as he is happy help teach the Dr a new trick.

I could decide it is was funny or horrible but after getting over the shock of it being extremely tacky I decided it was (if you isolate it from the fact this is a murder trial) very funny.

That was a good one! And Dr. Spitz did not even get it at all!