Boytwnmom
Verified Attorney
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2008
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I have twin boys who juggle fruit, very badly, so I always have dented apples and squishy oranges from repeated drops on hardwood floors. I hope you are easier on produce. My guys lack interest in juggling items that aren't edible-hopefully you are more open minded.
So, with the BPD, is is just a gradual awareness that hey, what's that about...gee, that's not normal...hmmm, I'm starting to get scared...
You don't seem terribly naive (in a good way!) especially in comparison to Travis who seemed to dwell amidst extremely nice, hardworking, kind Mormons. I tend to think he was fairly naive in regard to psychopathy that had a pretty face (relatively speaking, at least back then).
He grew up with bad things that were clearly defined as bad, dirty house, druggie parents and he sought out the good, the "normal" suburban house, nice car type thing as a young adult. Yet he couldn't bring himself to marry even though he knew he should. He had his long term girlfriend but he couldn't commit. He was looking for something that he hadn't found yet. Was Jodi as a BPD able to tell and pretend to be that "thing" he had been missing?
I've wondered whether Travis was an easy "mark" for a BPD or whether Jodi just masked her BPD well at first so she appeared to be the same type of nice, normal woman that Travis was used to. I see him as not catching on for a long time to what she really was. I see him easy to maipulate with sob story dramas. He was used to people who actually were what they seemed to be and Jodi was nothing like she pretended to be.
Yet, so many of his friends were creeped out by Jodi. That could just be revisionist history. But clearly, after a certain point people began to know who she really was. But Travis hung in there longer, too long obviously.
I just find it puzzling, what the process is of discovering that a person you think you love, is an actually dangerous person who could and would hurt you. It must be hard to believe and they must try to convince you you're wrong. It must be quite traumatic. To find this out and then need to extricate yourself and keep yourself mentally and physically safe.
So, with the BPD, is is just a gradual awareness that hey, what's that about...gee, that's not normal...hmmm, I'm starting to get scared...
You don't seem terribly naive (in a good way!) especially in comparison to Travis who seemed to dwell amidst extremely nice, hardworking, kind Mormons. I tend to think he was fairly naive in regard to psychopathy that had a pretty face (relatively speaking, at least back then).
He grew up with bad things that were clearly defined as bad, dirty house, druggie parents and he sought out the good, the "normal" suburban house, nice car type thing as a young adult. Yet he couldn't bring himself to marry even though he knew he should. He had his long term girlfriend but he couldn't commit. He was looking for something that he hadn't found yet. Was Jodi as a BPD able to tell and pretend to be that "thing" he had been missing?
I've wondered whether Travis was an easy "mark" for a BPD or whether Jodi just masked her BPD well at first so she appeared to be the same type of nice, normal woman that Travis was used to. I see him as not catching on for a long time to what she really was. I see him easy to maipulate with sob story dramas. He was used to people who actually were what they seemed to be and Jodi was nothing like she pretended to be.
Yet, so many of his friends were creeped out by Jodi. That could just be revisionist history. But clearly, after a certain point people began to know who she really was. But Travis hung in there longer, too long obviously.
I just find it puzzling, what the process is of discovering that a person you think you love, is an actually dangerous person who could and would hurt you. It must be hard to believe and they must try to convince you you're wrong. It must be quite traumatic. To find this out and then need to extricate yourself and keep yourself mentally and physically safe.
Thanks. I'm learning to juggle too.
It's never the Borderline's fault. My experience is that the borderline feels slighted, that every failure is something done to them. Justice, for them is to skip over conventional weapons and go nuclear.
So, think of the craziest, most vindictive thing you would do. The borderline would laugh and call you an amatuer.
My borderline was so vindictive that she made accusations that didn't hold water. The sort of things that didn't bear 5 minutes of analysis. And in that it was self-defeating, or would be if the borderline didn't interpret that defeat as something else done to them.
Dealing with a vindictive borderline is like dealing with a kamikaze: Even when they are riddled with bullets, on fire and in a dive, the only thing they are thinking of is how to fly right into your flight deck.
And how dare you make them do it.
Being vindictive -- crazy, transparent, self-destructive vindictiveness -- becomes an end in itself.
Yeah, they can be terrifying. And with their emotional instability, often more so than a calculating psychopath.