Dixon discussed the WC light in yesterday's testimony:
"I performed a scientific test using an instrument known in forensic geology as a 'finger'. I used this finger to press the light switch which then confirmed to me, to the best of my knowledge, that the light was not working milady.
I then used additional instruments called eyes to confirm the above and then allowed my brain and physical existence to bring all the evidence together milady.
I then made some notes on a napkin to accurately record all these findings.
No I did not check if there had been any previous fault reported to confirm the employer's, sorry i meant the accused's story milady.. quite honestly I couldn't be bothered milady.
I also did not check that the bulb had been accidentally smashed by a cricket bat.
I did not do this because I was satisfied that my initial test was sufficient to reach the conclusion I had been asked to reach.
I also could not do this milady because by then it was nighttime and it was dark and the lights weren't working for some reason... and so I tried to use both my eyes and my finger to make my notes but then I didn't have a pen because it was stuck up my arse milady.
No its true that I am not a qualified electrician milady but I once changed the batteries in my portable gas spectrometer so I am an expert to the very best of my recollection, but I don't actually know how the thing works milady. I think you blow through it or sing it a song. One of the three.
No there is no report milady, because the dog ate it on the way here"
This must have been when the feed went down.
