I have the kind of job in which people tell me very private things about their lives, their thoughts and feelings. I have met lots and lots of people who have dispositions similar to FLEK's, and it really cannot be overstated how difficult it can be for an introvert to live in a world comprised mostly of extroverts. Introversion is not synonymous with mental illness! Oftentimes, they are simply very quiet. Full stop. Evidently, quiet people can really freak extroverts out. Introverts can appear to be blank slates and end up being labeled with all kinds of negative attributes-- often with little or no basis in fact. Snob, arrogant, shy, hard to know, private, mysterious, unfriendly, unsociable, inscrutable, unfeeling, closed off, unemotional, loner, loser, boring, weird-- you get the picture. But some people are genuinely happy to be alone, have just a few close friends, and to read a book on Saturday night. Whatever blows your bangs back, right?
I really think FLEK was probably just one of those people-- skewing way to the introvert side of the introvert/extrovert scale. While that worked for her husband initially, it didn't seem to work for his family. It seemed like she might have tried to bond in ways that were comfortable to her-- like collecting recipes and family tree data. Sadly, it is really quite common for a family of extroverts to ultimately reject an introvert. I have noticed that is especially true for daughters-in-law. It ends up looking a lot like bullying and relational aggression when it happens. The hostile behavior is often subtle enough that the person experiencing it looks like an idiot for being upset and attempting to make someone understand what has transpired. And with all due respect, Blake doesn't sound like perceiving shades of gray is a real strength of his. This family in particular does seem to present themselves as being higher in standing than most, and I, like Gardener, just don't see it.
FLEK's introverted tendency to place a very high value on just a few relationships, the adversity she faced in her "family" and perhaps the hormonal hell that some women are faced with during infertility treatment, pregnancy, and post-parfum... That's more than enough to break a person. I have known similar scenarios.
We we have been talking about the need for a profile-- I agree! The incongruity in her behavior seems to me, to be centered around career ambition, but of course I don't really know. Lying to a judge, lying to a GED proctor, joining a group of business women-- even stripping as a temporary means-- in my opinion, these are things an introverted person would do only if pushing forward a very strongly desired agenda or ideal of some sort. I wonder if her parents failure motivates her? Fear of the need to be fully self-sufficient or be homeless? I have even been wondering if the man who appears to have lived at the same addresses as she did wasn't a boyfriend, and a culture clash of some sort might have fueled her behavior? Traditional Chinese and whatever FLEK was?
Anyway, if you read this far you deserve a big cookie
Thank you so much for indulging me.
