Apparently it is typical of the pattern of stalker/obsessed lover homicides that the killer will make room, as part of their planning, for the possibility of one last chance at reconciliation, about which they are sincere and hopeful but nonetheless prepared to kill the person upon rejection.
This explains why she didn't kill him immediately and postponed the murder for a sex romp. The only thing that could be described as a trigger would have been her acceptance he was beyond persuasion .
I shall withhold the details of how I obtained my expertise in this area. However; when it comes to the stalker/obsessed lover who kills, the recurring theme is they know deep down that they already are going to kill the person.
This is why it's premeditated. They already have it planned out in their mind and they have convinced themselves/justified it and they are going to do it.
They have a little 'play' or movie already in their head as to how things are going to play out and it's a script. They are 'loaded for bear' so to speak and
NO MATTER WHAT the victim says or does, they are just waiting for that ONE WORD, that ONE GESTURE
to allow themselves to 'go off'.
If any of you have ever been around a drug addict or alcoholic you will know what I mean when I say they are LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE and often times will set the situation up so that they in fact FIND that excuse.
What's interesting is that from all my learning about this, the same mechanisms of 'addiction' seem to be in play here.
I was also told once by a so called expert, (although after watching ALV my trust in 'experts' is gone :facepalm: ) that once the obsessed stalker has made up his or her mind to actually kill the object of their obsession it is VERY DIFFICULT to stop them.
The MAJOR parts of that is:
1). DENIAL by the victim and surrounding support systems that things are that serious. ("Oh I don't think he would REALLY do that!").
2). The laws regarding this type of situation have many loop holes and UNTIL that stalker has actually 'done something' the police seldom can step in. Often by then it's too late.
3). Failure to recognize the problem early on and take ACTIVE steps to correct the problem.
(Also I learned this last summer that when dealing with the non-violent stalker one of the most effective ways to STOP it is to turn the tables and START STALKING THEM). I do emphasize non-violent.
