What is "Closure?"

[BuzzieCat]

I don't see how they can have any closure, if there is such a thing. Especially because of the extra circumstances surrounding the case. Burying her is not going to make what happened go away, and putting Casey behind bars forever (or DP) is not going to make them feel better I don't suppose, even if it's what she deserves. In a situation where the murderer is a stranger, you could at least feel satisfaction that they were punished to the fullest extent, even if it doesn't bring back your loved one. But if the murderer is also someone you loved...wow. Everyone is different, but I don't see how any of that is going to make GA feel better. He needs major long-term therapy IMO.

 

[supergirl]

To me closure is the ability to smile and feel warm inside when a memory comes unexpectedly instead of all consuming heartbreak and breath stealing yearning. The yearning becomes less painful, and the memories are honored for what they are instead of sources of grief. That's how it is for me anyway.

 

[sweetmop]

I lost a child. It was not from murder, but from a disease. It's been almost 7 years and the pain never ever goes away. Never.
There is no such thing as closure. There is acceptance. There is knowing you did all you can do. There is knowing that you loved them with all of your heart and gave them the best life you could possibly give to them. But even knowing all of this I still feel guilt and I still have episodes of depression, and then more guilt for feeling depressed!

But thanks be to God, I will never have to wrestle with the guilt and feelings that Cindy and George will have to deal with for the rest of their lifes. It will be unsurmountable for them.

 

[audiogirl]

I lost a child. It was not from murder, but from a disease. It's been almost 7 years and the pain never ever goes away. Never.
There is no such thing as closure. There is acceptance. There is knowing you did all you can do. There is knowing that you loved them with all of your heart and gave them the best life you could possibly give to them. But even knowing all of this I still feel guilt and I still have episodes of depression, and then more guilt for feeling depressed!

But thanks be to God, I will never have to wrestle with the guilt and feelings that Cindy and George will have to deal with for the rest of their lifes. It will be unsurmountable for them.

I'm so very sorry for your loss

 

[seekingjustice**]

I lost a child. It was not from murder, but from a disease. It's been almost 7 years and the pain never ever goes away. Never.
There is no such thing as closure. There is acceptance. There is knowing you did all you can do. There is knowing that you loved them with all of your heart and gave them the best life you could possibly give to them. But even knowing all of this I still feel guilt and I still have episodes of depression, and then more guilt for feeling depressed!

But thanks be to God, I will never have to wrestle with the guilt and feelings that Cindy and George will have to deal with for the rest of their lifes. It will be unsurmountable for them.

(((sweetmop))) I have also survived the death of my teenage daughter who was killed just over 2 years ago. I agree totally there is no such thing as closure. I have found the pain does gets a little softer as time moves forward.

Cindy and George have a long hard road ahead of them.

This is a poem that I have on my memorial for my daughter:

I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in other's eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off. I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don't hurt quite so much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

 

[Crafter]

I lost my 12 year old daughter years ago to a genetic disease. Even though she was sick, her death came unexpectedly. I do not believe in the word 'closure'. There's no such thing. The wound is always there. It opens up when you see a favorite toy, hear a song, etc that reminds you of that loved one. I had to learn to take four plates out for dinner instead of five. I had to sit at the table night after night looking at the empty space my daughter used to sit at. I had to take down the bed she used to sleep in and see the pain my other children's eyes because they didn't have their sister to play with anymore. Today, my daughter would be 29 years old. I've watched her classmate graduate high, colleges, get married and have kids. And I still wonder what my daughter would have become if she was alive today. Nope, there is never closure...pain is always there. Our family has only learn how to include the pain in our lives and to go on. That's all.

 

[Pattymarie]

I'm so very sorry for your loss

I always thought there was no such thing as "closure." Why do people say this is healing? Also...why does the A's attorney say this? Is it way to figure out what George is going through...for the media...is it a media spin...to deflect from what his daughter is facing?

 

[Carolina Girl]

God bless you all in your pain of loss. We all have had some form of it. There is no closure, only time helps. I fear George and Cindy will never live long enough to get relief.

 

[Shaymus at The Rock]

I lost my 12 year old daughter years ago to a genetic disease. Even though she was sick, her death came unexpectedly. I do not believe in the word 'closure'. There's no such thing. The wound is always there. It opens up when you see a favorite toy, hear a song, etc that reminds you of that loved one. I had to learn to take four plates out for dinner instead of five. I had to sit at the table night after night looking at the empty space my daughter used to sit at. I had to take down the bed she used to sleep in and see the pain my other children's eyes because they didn't have their sister to play with anymore. Today, my daughter would be 29 years old. I've watched her classmate graduate high, colleges, get married and have kids. And I still wonder what my daughter would have become if she was alive today. Nope, there is never closure...pain is always there. Our family has only learn how to include the pain in our lives and to go on. That's all.

I'm so sorry. You all love her so much - I'm sure you still miss her terribly. Take care.

 

[cajun]

What is "Closure?"


I don't know...if someone ever finds it, please let me know.

 

[sweetmop]

(((sweetmop))) I have also survived the death of my teenage daughter who was killed just over 2 years ago. I agree totally there is no such thing as closure. I have found the pain does gets a little softer as time moves forward.

Cindy and George have a long hard road ahead of them.

This is a poem that I have on my memorial for my daughter:

I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in other's eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off. I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don't hurt quite so much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Sending hugs to you, seekingjustice:hug:
That poem certainly fits! I am sorry for the loss of your daughter.
So true... We are "survivors".
Thank you for sharing... :blowkiss:

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

I'm not sure closure will ever be possible for the Anthony family. There will forever be unanswered questions that make closure impossible.

There is something that happens when you say your last goodbyes to that lost family member. A step from utter shock and the worst pain you ever felt to acceptance and peace. Perhaps this is the closure that some people talk about?

This case is entirely too sad for closure to ever occur. I just don't see peace and acceptance ever being truly possible.

 

[sweetmop]

God bless you all in your pain of loss. We all have had some form of it. There is no closure, only time helps. I fear George and Cindy will never live long enough to get relief.

You're so right, Carolina Girl. We have all suffered loss and pain in this life. It comes in many forms, it can be long expected, or out of the blue, earth shattering and unexpected. It hurts nonetheless.
God's blessings to you too.:blowkiss:

 

[sweetmop]

I'm not sure closure will ever be possible for the Anthony family. There will forever be unanswered questions that make closure impossible.

There is something that happens when you say your last goodbyes to that lost family member. A step from utter shock and the worst pain you ever felt to acceptance and peace. Perhaps this is the closure that some people talk about?

This case is entirely too sad for closure to ever occur. I just don't see peace and acceptance ever being truly possible.

I agree. The Anthonys will have much to overcome. And many difficulties.
I believe that healing only begins with understanding and acceptance, and how on earth will they be able to understand or accept? Casey needs to tell the truth before their healing can begin. That's my opinion anyway.

 

[mommyto4]

I have never understood the whole thing about people needing closure. It seems almost shallow to me that somehow you bury someone and get closure. What closure? There things are still around you, there pictures are still there, your heart still aches, its not like they didn't exist and you can just bury them and move on.

I lost my Dad to suicide 9 years ago. I miss him all the time. Every single time I hear about a suicide my first thought is always of my father and then the family of the deceased and what a horrific time they will be going through.

The hardest part is that loosing someone to suicide is so different from any other manner of death. There were no casseroles dropped off, only my 2 closest friends offered any help to me, people avoided me unless of course they wanted to know if Dad was depressed and what the note said. When its a suicide it seems that people are colder about the death, how do you get that elusive closure when all people seem to want is to avoid the topic.

 

[RR0004]

Will the A's really get closure from their situation by having a burial for Caylee? Isn't is so much more than this?

I have never experienced a death of a child or a death close to me by violence. Is "closure" in these cases possible? Is there such a thing?

Listening to NG tonite, a victim herself of murdered loved one, she says a funeral does not bring closure, but it does factor into the grieving process.

No...IMO, the funeral does not bring closure.
Life does go on, may even become "normal"...but it's a different kind of "normal".
The life these people once knew is gone.

 

[RR0004]

I always thought there was no such thing as "closure." Why do people say this is healing? Also...why does the A's attorney say this? Is it way to figure out what George is going through...for the media...is it a media spin...to deflect from what his daughter is facing?

I had it in my mind today that perhaps he was sending Baez a message to get off his *advertiser censored** and release Caylee for burial.

 

[RR0004]

To me closure is the ability to smile and feel warm inside when a memory comes unexpectedly instead of all consuming heartbreak and breath stealing yearning. The yearning becomes less painful, and the memories are honored for what they are instead of sources of grief. That's how it is for me anyway.

...and when they come to you in your dreams...and it's ok.

 

[DotsEyes]

1) Having a burial, mourning with friends and loved ones closes one door for the A's, they wont' have the nightmare of Caylee being in a box at the funeral home anymore.

2) When KC is convicted, they cannot do anything more for her. The burden/guilt of "what can we do to make this go away?" is gone.

3) When KC is convicted, the slashing of the family's life and secrets will stop. There won't be daily updates on their dysfunction.

4) A grave will give them a place to go where they can mourn at Caylee's side.

5) When KC is sentenced, they can move away, start over somewhere else and distance themselves from KC and her toxic personality.

6) One day, maybe Lee will have kids, they can be dotting grandparents and fill their lives with love again.

 

[wallflower67]

The first time I lost someone to death I was 14yo. It was my best friend, also age 14. We were born 4 days apart and had lived next door from each other our whole lives. I'm 41 now. I always feel like I am forgetting someone every time I do Christmas cards, have a party, etc.

I lost my gpa to suicide, but he was 85. We were very close, and i felt guilty because i should have known. but he had always wanted to control when and how he died, and he did. i ended up respecting his decision.