"Who am I" in this Sad Saga?

[STEADFAST]

I identify most with Desiree. I also allowed my ex for a period of time to have physical custody of my children because he was in a much better position to care for them. If one had disappeared? I can't even imagine my guilt and rage.

Kyron reminds me of one of my kids, but that's not the same as identifying with him. It breaks my heart, though. But I can't identify with being a 7 yo and having evil invade my life. When I was Kyron's age, I was happy, sheltered and secure as all children should be .

 

[Coldpizza]

Great post, its what detectives do every day I hope. But really as humans and armchair sleuthers the fact remains we do form our own opinions based on our life experiences.So based on those experiences we look for anything thats out of place, something that doesn't fit. But again that is based on OUR norm. I believe it is important to put ourselves in those shoes so to speak and not rush to judgement in order to form a rash decision.

 

[gitana1]

This is a great thread. It really resonates with me. Although we all came here for one darling little boy, I think it is very obvious that how we interpret the case, the investigation, is colored by which ADULTS in the case we most identify with and how we do so. I agree with Human above that the history/experiences of various posters seems really evident when looking at their position/opinions. It is very interesting.

 

[Kimster]

I know this sounds cheesy, but what resonates with me here is little Kyron. I think it's because nerds were my people growing up, and when I was in 'gifted' education, I had a dozen or so Kyrons as my classmates. I find his goodness and sweetness just glow from within him in photographs.
I myself have no children, but have always wanted a daughter, FYI. So my 'connection' to him is that I knew so many little boys like him growing up.

*******************
Off Topic:
This is my first post. I have been lurking here since late June. I later joined specifically in case Kyron is found murdered, because I will need a place to vent and mourn if god forbid it happens.
To whom it may concern, thanks for the site. I really like the respectfulness here for everybody involved, the intolerance of rumors, and the moderators for their fine work in keeping people on-topic.

Sorry for my own off-topic. Btw, I'm F, 39, live w/ BF in Indianapolis. Go Colts.

Thank you for joining our group!

 

[kimmera]

I identify most with Desiree. I also allowed my ex for a period of time to have physical custody of my children because he was in a much better position to care for them. If one had disappeared? I can't even imagine my guilt and rage.

Kyron reminds me of one of my kids, but that's not the same as identifying with him. It breaks my heart, though. But I can't identify with being a 7 yo and having evil invade my life. When I was Kyron's age, I was happy, sheltered and secure as all children should be .

BBM~

I identify with her as well...I personally sent my youngest son to live with his father when he was 16...due to the environment that he was in, peer pressure, any number of reasons...I don't have friends here so I feel no obligation to divulge any further details, but suffice it to say that I felt he was in trouble. It was HORRIBLE, for all of us, but it turned out okay. He is 22, living well on his own, gainfully employed and happy.

 

[froginTtown]

I would identify with Kyron... confused, left out of the loop, being pulled in different directions... and also Baby K... not having a clue of what the hell-o is going on here...

 

[Aedrys]

I identify with Kyron in that I think he could never be good enough to TH. She constantly, it seems, tried to mold him into what she wanted, and he never seem to quite live up to her standards. So it seems that because he couldn't be what she wanted, she ultimately discarded him as a lost cause, as something no longer worthy of love and attention.

I've personally had this happen to me, even to a certain extent with my own mother. When you can't be happy in your own skin because you're just not good enough or not the person someone else expects and wants you to be, you grow up very uncertain of yourself and the decisions you make. It took me years to be me and make decisions for myself because of people who share some of the same qualities I see in TH. I have no patience or tolerance now of liars, users, and abusers. I will not be used and discarded like I don't mean anything, and when I see an adult do that to a child, it just breaks my heart and makes me so livid that some adults see children as just expendable at someone else's will.

I feel so bad for Kyron, and I know my personal experience really colors me as far as TH is concerned, and even if she's innocent I know I still won't like her. I guess it's harder when you've been the victim of horrible people to not see those bad traits in people suspected of doing something bad to someone else, especially a child.

Thank you for this thread. I think I have to sometimes step back and see that my lens might be too dark colored. It doesn't mean that I'm totally wrong about this case, but it also means I might be a lot more biased about it than I think I am.

Still, my gut is on Terri as the one who did this, and I will continue to go with my gut as I have done my entire life. I do know that one time I was very wrong, and that was in the case of Chandra Levy. It showed me that things are not always what they seem to be, and sometimes things can be unusual or bizarre and not how we think it is. I know I have to keep my mind open here to an alternate explanation, and I will continue to do that the best that I can. Doesn't mean I'm changing sides anytime soon, but I think I'm more leaning on the fence than sitting on top of it and straddling both sides.

 

[JennyAshley]

I identify with Terri's oldest son. I was the oldest of four with the two youngest being my half siblings. My mother married men, chewed em up and spit em out. This resulted in me never feeling wanted. Once I got past the cute stage I was just a burden or a babysitter. She punished my father by keeping me from visiting him until the courts ordered her to let me go see him (only after two years battling in court. In high school I went to live with my Dad because my mother's manic episodes got so bad that she became very violent. I wasnt able to see my younger siblings who I had pretty much raised.

Terri reminds me of my mother as horrible as that sounds. My mother almost killed me "accidentally" one horrible day. She was the kind of woman who made everyone think she was amazing but behind closed doors was a terror.

Stories like mine happen with so many kids. They go to school and say nothing about how bad it is at home because they are scared, threatened, dont think anyone will believe them, or dont know what to say.

 

[AbbieNormal]

Welcome, digger.

I had to think of this over night. I think first and foremost I just want Kyron home. But, if I relate to anyone its poor Terri Hormans parents. Because it would be me that allowed my child to return home if she had nowhere else to go. As much as I would personally be afraid of Terri, if it were my child, I would be there for them. Yes I would mortgage the house to get them a good lawyer.

I was going to say I most identified with Desiree because she has been cheated on, and had a hard lot in life, but I could first of all never give up custody of my child to my ex husband and not try to get him back, and second of all I have no idea how horrible she must feel right now now knowing where her child is.

 

[stmarysmead]

I most identify with the Eckers.

Sounds to me like they raised a loving, responsible son. He fell in love with Terri...his school-days" friend, and seemingly set about to do everything in his power for her. Though it was her second wedding, she had the fancy white long bridal dress. He put her educational "wants" before his own. He adopted her little boy.

I think he must have adored her.

Terri's comment about her son's inheritance, IMO, shows the "power" she had in that family and the ease she felt expressing it. . My husband would be none too pleased if I questioned anything his parents did with their own money...or assumed they needed to protect my children's inheritance first.

I think the Ecker's loved Terri too. I think they saw themselves as "Family." I think they embraced her and her little boy into their family and their hearts.

All the bitterness we hear now, is the residue of the betrayal...when the daughter-in-law they trusted and loved kicked their loving son to the curb. Terri made a mockery of his goodness to her. Financing her education was a con-job investment. Loving her child was a heartbreak-to-be.

And then she left their son with a financial burden she insisted the court RAISE...with only canceled checks over the years to remind him of the child the whole family once embraced as their own.

Has their son remarried? Does he have children?

If not, maybe the Ecker's feel he has never recovered the trust after marrying his "friend." Maybe they see his lonliness as a direct result of the pain Terri caused him.

If he has...maybe they see their son's family as being denied certain things now financially because he must pay and pay for believing in Terri's love. Maybe his wife would like to be a stay-at-home Mom, but the support payments prevent that. Yet they see Terri, not working to support her son in any way. Perhaps it looks to the Eckers like Terri has perfected a paternity Ponzi scheme in their eyes. Teri promised a forever family; she betrayed their son, took the child and left him only with a $500 a month continuing debt. She moved on to another man to support her and another child to bind him.

To the Eckers, Terri may look like the Bernie Madhoff of Daughter-in-laws. They remember with pain ALL the love they invested in her. They see daily the lasting wounds she inflicted on their son.

This is all fictionalized. of course. But whether your son is five or forty...you feel his devastation and betrayal of his loving intentions as your own. It is an eternal pain to see him give openly, lovingly...and then be cheated on, used, and discarded.

 

[gwenabob]

I most identify with the Eckers.

Sounds to me like they raised a loving, responsible son. He fell in love with Terri...his school-days" friend, and seemingly set about to do everything in his power for her. Though it was her second wedding, she had the fancy white long bridal dress. He put her educational "wants" before his own. He adopted her little boy.

I think he must have adored her.

Terri's comment about her son's inheritance, IMO, shows the "power" she had in that family and the ease she felt expressing it. . My husband would be none too pleased if I questioned anything his parents did with their own money...or assumed they needed to protect my children's inheritance first.

I think the Ecker's loved Terri too. I think they saw themselves as "Family." I think they embraced her and her little boy into their family and their hearts.

All the bitterness we hear now, is the residue of the betrayal...when the daughter-in-law they trusted and loved kicked their loving son to the curb. Terri made a mockery of his goodness to her. Financing her education was a con-job investment. Loving her child was a heartbreak-to-be.

And then she left their son with a financial burden she insisted the court RAISE...with only canceled checks over the years to remind him of the child the whole family once embraced as their own.

Has their son remarried? Does he have children?

If not, maybe the Ecker's feel he has never recovered the trust after marrying his "friend." Maybe they see his lonliness as a direct result of the pain Terri caused him.

If he has...maybe they see their son's family as being denied certain things now financially because he must pay and pay for believing in Terri's love. Maybe his wife would like to be a stay-at-home Mom, but the support payments prevent that. Yet they see Terri, not working to support her son in any way. Perhaps it looks to the Eckers like Terri has perfected a paternity Ponzi scheme in their eyes. Teri promised a forever family; she betrayed their son, took the child and left him only with a $500 a month continuing debt. She moved on to another man to support her and another child to bind him.

To the Eckers, Terri may look like the Bernie Madhoff of Daughter-in-laws. They remember with pain ALL the love they invested in her. They see daily the lasting wounds she inflicted on their son.

This is all fictionalized. of course. But whether your son is five or forty...you feel his devastation and betrayal of his loving intentions as your own. It is an eternal pain to see him give openly, lovingly...and then be cheated on, used, and discarded.

:blowkiss::Jumpie::aktion033: