Why has the family not made a public plea?

[wondering1]

:twocents: Oprah is a talk show which is question driven. They answered the questions they were asked. Perhaps someone should have asked Oprah if she could ask the family if they would make a plea.

I am confused why it is so concerning that they did not make a plea when they were busy answering the questions that were asked of them.MOO
:twocents:

bbm~

I'm astounded that it's at all concerning...period. Talk about a waste of national media time. As if some psycho is gonna go *hey, his parents miss him and want him back. I never thought about that. And boy, they look SUPER sad. Way sadder than I thought they would be. Guess I'd better give him back.* Or, *oh boy, his parents are STILL looking for this kid. NOW I'm in REALLY big trouble. Better give him back* -- I don't think so. jmoo

If they're not making an official plea, they have their reasons and those reasons don't involve not loving Kyron, wanting him back or having anything to do with his disappearance. So, imo, this is a HUGE so what?

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

It might have been helpful to show some computer-generated photos of how Kyron might look now. After three months, his teeth will have changed, his hair could be longer, he might not have his glasses on all the time, etc. Do LE agencies do those types of computerized photos for families, or would they need to have this done by an outside agency?

A while ago I visited the website of the elementary school that my DD attended. I wanted to see the parent handbook with regard to attendance calls, sign-out procedures, etc. and posted the info on a thread here. On the school's homepage, there were several photos of students, parents, teachers, etc., and one photo of a mom with her son who looked just like Kyron.

The flyers that are available to copy/post to help find Kyron are the same photos that we've seen since the beginning of the case when the boy first went missing. He wouldn't necessarily look the same, and I think it would be difficult even for those of us who have followed the story closely to recognize Kyron is we were to see him. jmo

 

[Kat010]

:twocents: Oprah is a talk show which is question driven. They answered the questions they were asked. Perhaps someone should have asked Oprah if she could ask the family if they would make a plea.

I am confused why it is so concerning that they did not make a plea when they were busy answering the questions that were asked of them.

MOO
:twocents:

I just got through viewing my taped version. She did give them an opportunity for a plea.

 

[Donjeta]

Are Oprah interviews edited or does she air everything her guests say?

 

[1Chump]

bbm~

I'm astounded that it's at all concerning...period. Talk about a waste of national media time. As if some psycho is gonna go *hey, his parents miss him and want him back. I never thought about that. And boy, they look SUPER sad. Way sadder than I thought they would be. Guess I'd better give him back.* Or, *oh boy, his parents are STILL looking for this kid. NOW I'm in REALLY big trouble. Better give him back* -- I don't think so. jmoo

If they're not making an official plea, they have their reasons and those reasons don't involve not loving Kyron, wanting him back or having anything to do with his disappearance. So, imo, this is a HUGE so what?

IMO, the parents interviews do not give the impression that they believe some psycho is holding Kyron.

IMO, they give the impression that Teri convinced someone to hold Kyron to protect him or for Teri to get revenge on Kaine. Even they cannot say they think Teri would hurt Kyron.

Therefore, if they believe someone is keeping Kyron, Desiree should be pleading to that person. Because that person would already believe that Kaine is bad while Teri is good. Desiree and/or Kaine making Teri sound like the monster they believe she is plays right into that hands of Teri by "confirming" everything she told the person to get them to hold Kyron

I personally do not believe this is what happened. Just the impression the parents seem to give in interviews. Because if they do not believe that Teri could hurt Kyron that would include handing Kyron over to a psycho.

IMO, I think that is where the questions about the parents not pleading. Either they believe what they are saying so pleading would be logical or they don't so not pleading is logical.

 

[nursebeeme]

I just got through viewing my taped version. She did give them an opportunity for a plea.

I am still not sure what the discussion here is about.... they didn't say things exactly like some would have liked them to... are we to fault them for it? I for one do not but that is just my opinion.

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

This is the technology that I referred to in my above post (#110):

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10164-virtual-faceageing-may-help-find-missing-persons.html (I hope this is an acceptable link).

I think it would help tremendously to have photos like this in the search for a live Kyron because he has likely changed in the time that he's been missing. Those of us who are parents/grandparents/teachers know how quickly children change at that age and from one schoolyear to the next. jmo

 

[evelyn24]

I've seen nothing BUT Kaine and Desiree pleading for information. They have humanized Kyron by openly sharing family pictures that show a smiling, innocent, well-loved little boy surrounded by family. They have shown his favorite toys and his room. They have begged for information from anyone who might know anything leading to his return. They have pleaded for whoever has him to put Kyron in a neutral location with access to communication. They have stood in front of his wall of hope, shed public tears, shared their theories, answered even probing personal questions from the public about their private lives. There's information they've wanted to share that they have been told not to share - so clearly they've gone against their own desires in an effort to help find Kyron.

If pleading directly to someone holding Kyron (in a way other than the ways they already have, repeatedly) had any chance to work, had any history of working in child kidnap cases, my guess is they would have done it ten times over by now. IMO they've demonstrated a willingness to do even personal uncomfortable/excruciating things on Kyron's behalf, ignoring their own needs, accepting embarrassment, privacy violation and indignity - so from that evidence I would say that they're not making the specific TYPE of pleas mentioned here, it's because they haven't been advised to or have been advised not to.

Exactly. If not for Desiree and Kaine and their pressers and public comments/actions this case would be forgotten in the media, and Kyron's case surely would never be featured on Oprah. I appreciate LE's work on this case but it's not like they've been generating media attention. It's all been Kaine and Desiree.

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

Are Oprah interviews edited or does she air everything her guests say?

I had hoped to attend a taping of Oprah when my DD attended college in Chicago, but it was too difficult to arrange my schedule to be there at the right time. DD had colleagues who did attend, and the shows are edited from the "live" version with a studio audience. The segment with Kaine and Desiree might have been somewhat longer but was edited to fit the remaining time slot.

 

[nursebeeme]

Are Oprah interviews edited or does she air everything her guests say?

here is a really good post from one of our posters who has been on the show (tells the process) and yes, it does sound like they can edit.

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5603476&postcount=50"]Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - Oprah to feature Kyron on Thursday 9/16[/ame]

 

[wondering1]

IMO, the parents interviews do not give the impression that they believe some psycho is holding Kyron.

IMO, they give the impression that Teri convinced someone to hold Kyron to protect him or for Teri to get revenge on Kaine. Even they cannot say they think Teri would hurt Kyron.
Therefore, if they believe someone is keeping Kyron, Desiree should be pleading to that person. Because that person would already believe that Kaine is bad while Teri is good. Desiree and/or Kaine making Teri sound like the monster they believe she is plays right into that hands of Teri by "confirming" everything she told the person to get them to hold Kyron

I personally do not believe this is what happened. Just the impression the parents seem to give in interviews. Because if they do not believe that Teri could hurt Kyron that would include handing Kyron over to a psycho.

IMO, I think that is where the questions about the parents not pleading. Either they believe what they are saying so pleading would be logical or they don't so not pleading is logical.

bbm~

I see it a little bit differently. I think DY and KH may still think that TH wouldn't *personally* hurt Kyron. Just as she was, apparently, unwilling to *personally* hurt KH (if the mfh is to be believed -- and from their perspective, it is). But conversely, if they believe the mfh plot, they DO believe that TH is capable of *having* someone killed.

That, coupled with LE's reaction to what they have discovered in the course of the investigation and DY's reaction of disgust to TH's e-mails, which appear to include some we have not seen, leads me to believe that they think, in hindsight and based on what they know now, that TH is, indeed, capable of having Kyron harmed and that the person(s) he is with are not benevolent. Or at least benevolent in the sense that they might return Kyron based on an emotional plea. Even in those cases I'm aware of where it is KNOWN that the children were put into the underground for their supposed protection, the children were not returned based on pleas and a showing that the abducting parent was lying about abuse. Once they were in, they were in...and it took criminal investigations/prosecution and/or private efforts that were SUBSTANTIAL and INTERNATIONAL to get those kids back. jmoo

 

[gitana1]

Hi Debs, Your post brought back memories of Brooke Wilburger and Elizabeth Smarts's parents. They not only spoke to the child directly but also to the abductor to let them come back home.

Deb, it's great to see you at WS. I remember all the times we noted that Madeleine McCann's parents also never pleaded to the perp to let her go. I maybe heard once her Mom's asking the 'perp' to drop her off at a church I think. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I might be missing something here (huge possibility), but I'm a little confused. Does it really matter much whether they plead/beg for the captor to free their kid or not? It has never worked in the past that I know of. Besides, if Kyron is being held somewhere, the person holding him does not need to be told the right thing to do. They see that this is a national case. Everyone knows it's wrong to keep someone else's child. We have a slew of authorities looking for this child and looking for info about who took him and why. How would begging some faceless person help?

Also, the "Grrrrrr" in the post above seems to me to indicate anger that neither they nor the McCanns have begged the abductor for the return of their child. I'm confused about the anger, too. I know some people feel the McCanns killed their kid or neglected her and are thus at fault for whatever happened to her. Perhaps their failure to beg someone specific for something specific is thought to support that position? (Although I know they have done a huge amount of begging for many things related to finding their kid, for whatever that's worth). So does the anger likewise mean that Kyron's parents are also at fault in some way, or neglectful or don't give a darn because they haven't begged whomever may have Kyron for his return? Begging does not work on someone who has taken or is keeping a person against their will. It does not work against criminals. The only thing that works is fighting back.
Clearly these people (Kyron's parents) adore their child and are suffering immensely due to his loss. I am sure they are doing everything they think is best to find him and everything they can to get through each day and get answers. I'm sure they are also being advised by profilers, etc.. I don't see any room for criticism in this.
I also don't believe, (for those who are not criticizing but want to know why they haven't begged), that it actually matters why they haven't. I guess I don't think that this issue says much about what the parents or LE thinks, or their strategy, etc.
But, if we're talking strategy, if it was my life, I wouldn't beg at all, if someone took my kid. I don't think it would work and I would want to appear strong and committed to finding my child and getting justice, not weak and solely at the mercy of the abductor, which is the only thing I think begging would get a person. I think that's a bad strategy that could backfire badly.

 

[debs]

They talk about Terri more than they talk about Kyron is the primary point. Terri obviously doesn't have Kyron. They believe Terri has an accomplice out there "somewhere" who has Kyron alive. They addressed this person once that I am aware of, and the question today arose if reaching more people who have never heard of Kyron via the Oprah show was reason enough to continue the litany of Terri's guilt (for them).

The point was made whether it would have been a better use of their time to discuss Kyron's attributes, in case someone who hasn't heard of the case sees him.

That is where the conversation started today, and somehow has diverted.

The parents can say whatever they like. It is ineffective, in my opinion, to continue on about someone LE has not bothered to arrest, despite these parents' obvious point of view that she's guilty. Instead, their time could be used more wisely to discuss their son.

That is all.

 

[gitana1]

These are great points. What worries me is that someone did believe TH and has been holding him but now they are afraid to come forward for fear of being accomplices to this crime. I feel the public pleas should say that if they bring him home unharmed there will be no charges against them. NOT TH - only whoever is holding him. If TH did this, she should be held responsible to the fullest extent of the law.

You have a point. But that would be for LE to say, not the parents. They don't have control over who is arrested or charged or not.

 

[stmarysmead]

BBM

Setting ground rules/criteria as to 'when' we should believe or not believe accusations by Kaine and Desiree seems absurd to me. How does one define 'more' and 'equal' information? What the heck does that mean?

This is a case where LE have said NOBODY has been ruled out...LE have yet to name a POI or a suspect. No arrests have been made. Other loved ones of missing children have told us over and over they know what we, the public, knows. Are we to believe Desiree and Kaine are being treated as 'special' by LE?

Could the 'more' information refer to Tony's beliefs as stated on GMA? Or does the 'more' refer to Tony's decision in the beginning that Terri ...just isn't acting right? Something's off! Should we consider Tony's information regarding this case as biased? Or relevant? Or more? Or equal?

I would appreciate a definition of 'more' and 'equal'. TIA

I'm asking if those that criticize Desiree and Kaine believe that they have NO MORE information than we have.

I'm asking if some believe that LE gives the general public just as much information as the closest family members...as if WE are on equal footing.

Personally, I think THAT is an incredible position, that LE would think WE, the general public, had to have every bit of evidence that they shared with Kyron's parents.

I don't believe WE are that important.

I believe a lot more has been shared with the parents...as the other VICTIMS. Therefore, in humility, I do not criticize anything the parents do or say. I assume they are better informed than the general public..and SHOULD BE. Even if they are told to keep much of it confidential.

I do not presume to be on the same level of access to evidence as the parents of a missing child.

 

[Calliope]

I'm asking if some believe that LE gives the general public just as much information as the closest family members...as if WE are on equal footing.

Unless they know what happened to Kyron, where he is, and everyone involved, then I hope we're on equal footing.

 

[eyes4crime]

I'm asking if those that criticize Desiree and Kaine believe that they have NO MORE information than we have.

I'm asking if some believe that LE gives the general public just as much information as the closest family members...as if WE are on equal footing.

Personally, I think THAT is an incredible position, that LE would think WE, the general public, had to have every bit of evidence that they shared with Kyron's parents.

I don't believe WE are that important.

I believe a lot more has been shared with the parents...as the other VICTIMS. Therefore, in humility, I do not criticize anything the parents do or say. I assume they are better informed than the general public..and SHOULD BE. Even if they are told to keep much of it confidential.

I do not presume to be on the same level of access to evidence as the parents of a missing child.

Thanks for taking the time to clarify your thinking. Think I'll try not to define more, less, equal, and bias...and for sure I'm not going to believe all victims on the basis that they know more due to LE. Perps can play 'victim' for a long time and they come in all kinds of shapes and colors, wealthy and poor, educated and illiterate. Think I'll stick to facts. moo hoo

 

[stmarysmead]

They talk about Terri more than they talk about Kyron is the primary point. Terri obviously doesn't have Kyron. They believe Terri has an accomplice out there "somewhere" who has Kyron alive. They addressed this person once that I am aware of, and the question today arose if reaching more people who have never heard of Kyron via the Oprah show was reason enough to continue the litany of Terri's guilt (for them).

The point was made whether it would have been a better use of their time to discuss Kyron's attributes, in case someone who hasn't heard of the case sees him.

That is where the conversation started today, and somehow has diverted.

The parents can say whatever they like. It is ineffective, in my opinion, to continue on about someone LE has not bothered to arrest, despite these parents' obvious point of view that she's guilty. Instead, their time could be used more wisely to discuss their son.

That is all.

I disagree. If they truly believe Terri has orchestrated this disappearance, then why shouldn't they ALSO engage in psychological warfare here. A terrible crime has occurred...their child is missing. This is no time for the niceties of civilized divorce.

There is no reason to "spare" her or show her any relief or respect. This is a public shaming...a branding. These parents are not about to let Terri's silence give her any solace or place to hide.

Terri needs to understand that her silence is NOT a winning strategy. She will PAY for this crime...at the least, she will be forever stained by it. For the rest of her life, this will follow her.

Perhaps LE is trying to make this point with her...Terri will pay a huge price. Haven't they asked her..."how do you want to be remembered." I think there are horrific "sickening " details that have been shared. If she refuses to help them find their child...they will be the partial architects of HOW Terri Horman will be remembered.

WE have NOT seen the emails the parents saw. WE have not read and been exposed to the texts, the phone calls, the details that bring LE to tears.

We are NOT equal in our knowledge with these parents.

If Kyron never returns, if there is no resolution, Terri needs to know that does NOT work to her advantage. She will be whispered about, distrusted and despised in many quarters. She will never be free of this. Her life will be as devastated as Kaine's and Desiree's. If this was done out of anger, revenge, or in lieu of murdering her husband, to murder his child...her loss will also be tremendous.

Who are we to say that publicly shaming a woman who re-invented herself as the self-sacrificing "friend" of the pregnant woman whose husband became HERS...might not just work?

 

[gitana1]

She was told not to speak, by Kaine, prior to her being a POI. Then, she became the POI.
The in between from not suspect to could be suspect was so short, but in that meantime the public had already placed their finger on her.

Honestly, I would keep my mouth shut too. Not because of guilt or innocence, but simply because NOTHING I would say or do would convince the masses otherwise.

IMO, her defending herself online was the only outlet she had to convey her innocence.

I can't say if she is or she isn't, and I am not here to defend her.

Just my view on this situation.

I don't think we know for sure that KAINE told TH not to speak. She may have said that. Doesn't mean it's true.

BBM

I completely agree that if it were Kaine accused of the many questionable circumstances that you mention, he would have to be in a barricaded house fearing for his life every day. His house would have to be located somewhere other than Planet Earth. His life and career would be over as he knows it. And if found innocent, we would all know that we had contributed to his demise as a human being. At least I would. moo hoo

As for how ideas get twisted - An inordinate amount of media time has been given to Kaine and Desiree. High profile media time such as People's magazine, Oprah, GMA, and press conferences when ever they have called for one. moo

IMO There is a responsibility that comes with using high profile media times and that responsibility is to use it wisely. Of course, all loved ones with missing children are frantic, desperate, and exhausted. Judgmental America understands and accepts that. Give America a message, tell them how they can help, what to do. Use the time wisely to find your child. moo

One of the most effective uses of media time I have seen comes from the Somer Thompson case, with mom Diena. She stood in front of the camera, looking exhausted and frantic...made a tight fist with her hand and holding her fist out in front of her said - 'we are going to get you'!!! 'We will find you'. How dare you throw my baby in the garbage like a piece of trash! Didn't matter who or where that perp was - she was going to 'get' him. I consider that an effective and excellent use of high profile media time. hoo

Diena was hated by many who never stopped seeing her as the murderous perp of her daughter. However, there is no question that she made an unforgettable statement. Those of us who sided with her felt we had a mission - and that was to 'get' that perp! And we did! That, IMO is using media time wisely. moo hoo

I kind of think DY has acted much like you describe Diena. She, with a straight face and lots of strength told TH that she needs to do the thing and will be going to jail. I feel they have used their time wisely because every time they speak, they keep the pressure on and keep the case in the public's eye. JMO. (But I do think how they utilize the media and how they should use it is a very valuable topic - broader than what we are discussing here).

Sometimes it scares me, though, that if they are right, that somehow by attacking Terri so vehemently, it could somehow backfire and harm the chances, if any, of getting Kyron back alive. I mean, even if Kyron reappears suddenly, I don't think D&K could ever be convinced that Terri was not involved, so she may feel "doomed" already and if she is guilty, she may have "contacts" whom she might advise that it is safer to make sure Kyron is not alive at this point.

I'm not explaining this well, but it is just worrying...if one pictures Terri sitting in that Roseburg house getting angrier and angrier and somehow reaches out and "gives the order" to do away with Kyron. I mean, some people seem to believe she has a complex network of "helpers", so she would have a way to get word to them.

I read a lot that DY and Kaine are attacking TH vehemently. I guess I just never have seen that at all. They think she took their kid. They have stated they believe that, listed some of the reasons why, such as how she acted, (e.g., surprised that DY wanted to come down right away when she got the news, cold about Kyron's disappearance, seems to be lying, etc.) and have admonished her to do the right thing. Also, Kaine made moves to protect himself and their daughter and to get answers about Kyron, using the court system. He has said very little about that process at all. I'm not sure how any of that's "attacking" her, or constantly at her, etc.
If I started reading here and had not heard a thing about this case prior, I would assume these people had been screaming on video about what a scumbucket TH is, or calling her other ugly names, saying how much they hate her, what a vile person she is, saying how they want her dead, or to burn in hell etc. Where is that in this case? They haven't even raised their voices. They believe she is responsible. They have stated that and their surprise and disgust about that fact (the belief). One has taken steps to protect himself, his surviving child and to get info. That's about it and it just doesn't seem unreasonable or unjustifiable. Neither LE nor the court seems to think so either.

 

[eyes4crime]

Gitina: When you know who the perp is, why use prime time media to ask America for help? Anyone I know would be far more receptive to seeing pictures of Kyron than hearing the trashing of step-mom Terri. It counter productive to keep the trashing up. hoo moo

Desiree and mom Diena are not the same, not by a long shot...mom Diena did not name names, nor did she ever claim to know who murdered her 7yo daughter only to throw her in the trash. ..as a matter of fact, mom Diena was thought by the majority to be the perp. The same accusations, comments about her weight, working, single mom, going to nursing school, tracking her exact steps that fateful day, her social life etc. were all used against her. I followed it for months here on WS. Desiree has been exonerated from that hate and has not been placed in such a demeaning stance. I wouldn't compare the two women at all. moo