80) What is your understanding of the word
?
A: I don't know an official definition, but it's a very negative, pejorative, derogative term against women
81) Why did you share housing with Matt at the time you were in a relationship with Travis?
A: Well, the reason I moved to Big Sur, Matt was the available housing in Big Sur
M: Objection
J: Overruled, you may continue
A: Okay the reason I felt comfortable living with Matt is because at that point in time, this was I want to say, seven years after we had broken up, our friendship had evolved to a point where we were more like a brother sister kind of a relationship, there was no attraction, zero, we didn't even hug, we were just friends, and we were more like siblings and I think Travis understood that
M: Objection
J: Sustained
82) Were there any girls working with you that you could share a room with?
A: At Ventana? No, there were no
83) How can you be a sister to Matt, someone you had sex with in the past?
A: It does sound strange, but that's just the way our friendship evolved after the breakup, I got over what he did with Bianca and that resentment melted away and gave way to just a genuine goodwill toward him and him toward me. Also, um, our time in Ventana was broken up because at one point, I think I mentioned on direct that the restaurant and Ventana closed and the entire dining operation moved over to the Inn and we operated out of there during that five week period the restaurant was being remodeled and Matt moved Vail, CO, I didn't see him for six, seven, eight months. He had another relationship at the time and by the time he moved back , Daryl and I had started a relationship and at first it was sort of awkward but then Matt and I realized we just jive in a certain way but we're just better off friends than girlfriend/boyfriend and that was a place where we reached an acceptance and there was no longer an attraction to Matt, in more I think I was blinded by love and now I saw all his other qualities, I still liked him as a person but I was not attracted to him, if that makes sense.
84) Why didn't you read the Book of Mormon to see what you were and were not allowed to do?
A: I did read the Book of Mormon, um there is additional doctrine that explains the commandments a lot more called the Doctrine and Covenants and the Book of Mormon covers a lot of the basics, it's very similar to the Bible in some of those things, like the Beatitudes are sort of reworded in some in one portion of it. Um, I think the ten commandments are sort of reworded in some portion of it, but it's more the Doctrine and Covenants that go into detail and also subsequent presidencies the church has gone through have clarified even more what certain commandments mean, what that really entails. Such as the Word of Wisdom, when the Doctrine and Covenants was written in the 1800s, it doesn't say anything about coffee, tea, alcohol or illegal drugs. It mentions hot drinks, tobacco and more clarification was given in the 20th Century, so it's kind of like that. I did real the Book of Mormon, but it's not ultra specific.
85) Why did you as Travis about everything you did?
A: I don't understand that question
J: Alright, then we'll move on to the next one
86) Why did you start a relationship with Ryan Burns when you said earlier when I'm with one guy I don't see other guys.
A: Well, I didn't consider myself Travis's girlfriend since I broke up with him on June 29th of the previous year, also I moved over 1,000 miles to get away from him. Even though it was hard to break up so to speak, we were broken up but we still continued some of the same patterns we had, I was still attempting to move on, maybe not making the best attempt, but when somebody introduced us through text message we began to call and just sort of hit it off. We were just talking friends and it was only potential thing, so I didn't consider myself seeing Ryan or seeing Travis but Travis was still the person that I was most intimate with.
87) Why is it you can't remember when Travis lent you money but you remember the exact amount that you lent him all three times?
A: I do remember times he lent me money, um, I think I got, went into a few of those times and one of the reasons I specifically remember amounts that he lent me is because it's documented in my journal and I've since reread that journal several times.
88) Why did you think that the incident that happened on June 4, 2008 was any different from the ones before so that you had to kill him to protect yourself?
A: June 4, 2008 was different in that even though I thought that he would never get that way again because, it just, like I think he scared himself when I passed out based on our subsequent conversations and we realized how far it went. I thought that it was done at that point as far as violence goes, so when it happened again and I realized how far it could escalate when he gets that angry, um, I was terrified this time. Especially because he was trying to get on top of me and also he just kept coming. He didn't stop, even when I tried to stop him by running away or pointing a weapon on him, he kept coming and kept coming and just did not stop.
89) You mentioned injuries that would not have been seen by others when you were in Utah in June of 2008. Can you go into deal as to where they were and how you received them?
A: Yes, my ankles were bleeding, um, not profusely, but they were scratched and they were injured. I had socks and shoes on. Also when I hit the tile the back of my head right here, slammed on the tile, um, and I do have, my shoulder's never been the same but I don't know if it's related to being slammed on the tile, um it's off, is all I can say, it hurts constantly, actually.
ok I am bawling now!!!
