2010.06.19 ~ Kyron Horman's Blended Family

[Mylou]

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I don't think that people are very likely to mistakenly suppose that their relatives got together because the man had a child whose ill mother's friend moved in to take care of that child in a purely platonic manner unless someone has deliberately directed their thoughts to that direction. The story is so detailed that it has to come from somewhere. But of course the original source doesn't have to be Terri or Kaine, it could have been anyone with a motive to conceal how the relationship started (who?)

I see it as some were not far off, but not completely accurate.
Of course you have to also take into consideration how each one views it as well. In the end everyone is accountable for only what they say anyways, not what someone else says they said.

 

[Mylou]

Have you noticed how the blended family article sticks to Terri? It tells us everything about Terri except the number of fillings in her teeth but next to nothing about any other members of Kyron’s blended family. It could be retitled as “Terri Horman’s life and experiences” and nobody would notice the difference.

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I had not noticed it quite that way. It is very interesting , not only what is in it but also what is not in it .

 

[Donjeta]

I see it as some were not far off, but not completely accurate.

Yes, Terri's mom and friend CM and JF seem to have been pretty close to the truth because they had it right that Terri had been in Kyron's life from birth and it was implied that she knew him through Kaine.

Kaine's brother's ex seems to have been pretty far from the truth as she says that Terri was Desiree's friend when she moved in, not Kaine's although apparently the women hadn't even spoken with each other at that point and Terri and Kaine had been together for more than a year. It's a mystery to me how that kind of error can be a result of an accident rather than deliberate.

Of course you have to also take into consideration how each one views it as well. In the end everyone is accountable for only what they say anyways, not what someone else says they said.

I suppose we view it differently. IMO a person who in good faith repeats a false story that he's been told because he believes it is not to blame for the lie as much as the person who told it to him to begin with, knowing it was a crock.

Of course it may all have been completely innocent in the beginning. I bet most of us have got relatives and acquaintances that we wouldn't like to know all of our secrets because we fear their anger, judgment or gossiping etc. and many might choose to tell half-truths or white lies to keep the peace. Nothing wrong with that necessarily, it's just hard to control later if something unexpected happens to make you interesting to media.

 

[Mylou]

I suppose we view it differently. IMO a person who in good faith repeats a false story that he's been told because he believes it is not to blame for the lie as much as the person who told it to him to begin with, knowing it was a crock.

I understand what you are saying here. I had a few friends in my life who told the most wild exaggerated stories about people, that I deleted them from my life. They were more story tellers then friends. I have never kept many gossipy people in my life either. I have no patience for it. Im sure everyone has had a few of them in their lifetimes. They can never get anything they heard right. LoL

 

[LaceSprocket]

Yes, Terri's mom and friend CM and JF seem to have been pretty close to the truth because they had it right that Terri had been in Kyron's life from birth and it was implied that she knew him through Kaine.

So the Oregonian - Blended Family article had it WRONG. :waitasec:

In the presser yesterday, Desiree said she did not even speak to Terri until Kyron was almost 2 years old. So they weren't friends?

So where did Terri come from?

It's beginning to look like Kaine began dating Terri before he got divorced. That does not automatically mean he CHEATED on Desiree. But he might have. So you have to ask: Did Desiree file for divorce from Kaine BECAUSE of Terri? We may never know the answer to that question, but it sure would explain A LOT.

This could be why Kaine seems so "suspicious" in his behavior to the media. IF it's true that Terri was the other woman, he probably does not want that info leaking out. It would be a serious blow to the sympathies of the public. Could you imagine the headlines? "Stepmom was Kaine's mistress!" That would seriously detract the attention away from finding Kyron and aim it squarely at Kaine.

Kaine's brother's ex seems to have been pretty far from the truth as she says that Terri was Desiree's friend when she moved in, not Kaine's although apparently the women hadn't even spoken with each other at that point and Terri and Kaine had been together for more than a year. It's a mystery to me how that kind of error can be a result of an accident rather than deliberate.

I'm going to guess here.... I bet that's the story that Kaine and/or Terri told her. Was it true? According to Desiree, no - it's not true, they were not friends. I think the ex was only recanting the version told to her. I don't think she intentionally got it "wrong."

 

[Beatrice]

I was surprised to read that Tony was taking Kyron for that weekend to go fishing. If Medford is 4+ hours away...How do they accomplish this child trade-off?

 

[Kimster]

I was surprised to read that Tony was taking Kyron for that weekend to go fishing. If Medford is 4+ hours away...How do they accomplish this child trade-off?

In yesterday's presser, DY explained that they used to travel frequently back and forth to Portland for Kyron. She even drove up for sporting events.

There is one main freeway - the I-5 - that goes from Medford to Portland. You can scurry along quite quickly, actually.

 

[Beatrice]

If it's a 4 hour drive between Portland & Medford...

Was there a midway pickup/drop off point? That would be Eugene, Oregon.

When had Tony arrived?

 

[Morag]

...snip...Are his parents alive?

I believe that Kaine's parents are alive. But where are they? Their grandson is missing. Have they said anything?

 

[wondering1]

If it's a 4 hour drive between Portland & Medford...

Was there a midway pickup/drop off point? That would be Eugene, Oregon.

When had Tony arrived?

The reporter in one of the vids said they were to meet in Eugene.

 

[WholeLottaRosie]

"What does Kyron’s room look like now? Have you made any changes to it since he disappeared?
Desiree – I haven’t made any changes to his room other than to vacuum it. I still have his laundry laid out and his bed not made because I can’t bring myself to make his bed. I like to see that it looks slept in."

from http://www.katu.com/news/local/97904344.htmlhttp://www.katu.com/news/local/97904344.html


This bothers me for some reason. Do we know the last time Desiree had Kyron prior to his disappearance?

 

[Beatrice]

The reporter in one of the vids said they were to meet in Eugene.

Thanks. This makes sense...But, I wish there was more info on the visitation swap.

(FWIW: The elderly sex offender that cut off his bracelet is from Eugene.)

 

[citigirl]

I found it interesting that Terri was the person who was called Desiree to let her know about Kyron't disappearnce; that Terri was supposed to drive and and off to Desiree that day. And that Desiree suspected Terri immediately of being involved in Kyron't disappearance--and said so!

Yet Desiree says the blended family was "working." Personally, I would be hanging with my 19 month-olde while my husband dropped off his son with his mother, were I in this situation.

Kaine and Desiree look close at this time, but it seems Terri was carrying the ball as far as communication between the family and Desiree up until now. Not a good situation for Kyron.

 

[CCup]

When I was younger my step-mom and bio mom did NOT get along for anything! Nor did my bio parents for that matter. My step mom loved to be in the car when my dad picked up or dropped us off. She loved to show face at sporting events, school events, and even major milestones. It was her way of constantly being in my mom's face. She never talked to my mom, but they definetly shot ugly glances at one another every chance they got.

You get the vibe from interviews that Desiree was not Terri's biggest fan, so maybe Terri dropped Kyron off to Desiree each visitation as a "hey remember me" rub in her face. JMO

 

[hollye]

I found it interesting that Terri was the person who was called Desiree to let her know about Kyron't disappearnce; that Terri was supposed to drive and and off to Desiree that day. And that Desiree suspected Terri immediately of being involved in Kyron't disappearance--and said so!

Yet Desiree says the blended family was "working." Personally, I would be hanging with my 19 month-olde while my husband dropped off his son with his mother, were I in this situation.

Kaine and Desiree look close at this time, but it seems Terri was carrying the ball as far as communication between the family and Desiree up until now. Not a good situation for Kyron.

I can only comment based on my own experiences to say that for most of the time that we were communicating with my DH's ex, I was the one doing the communicating. I also provided a lot of the transportation, prior to getting an order in place that included transportation. It is not that my DH didn't care, but due to his work schedule and lack of flexibility with his schedule, I was frequently more available to complete these tasks. Also, because of DH's ex's ability to set him off with her attitude and my attention to detail and the children's schedules, it was easier for me to be the primary communicator on our side. There were times when DH did communicate with his ex and he would end up forgetting or miscommunicating details of activities that I would end up having to fix later on. I was also doing my darndest to ensure that my DH was able to see his kids as frequently as possible. Now, granted, this was prior to my younger children being born, but there have still been instances since, where I have done the transportation for some reason or another.

Being as that KH is in the IT field, it is possible that his work schedule did not always accommodate him leaving early on Fridays to take Kyron to meet DY. IT hours can be crazy at times. Maybe he saved the times that he got off early for when Kyron had something special going on, like was the case on that day. Also, it seems that since TMH appeared to be very involved in Kyron's activities, it was easier for her to communicate with DY. It may not necessarily have been a negative thing for her to be the primary communicator and transporter, at least from my experience.

 

[hollye]

I found it interesting that Terri was the person who was called Desiree to let her know about Kyron't disappearnce; that Terri was supposed to drive and and off to Desiree that day. And that Desiree suspected Terri immediately of being involved in Kyron't disappearance--and said so!

Yet Desiree says the blended family was "working." Personally, I would be hanging with my 19 month-olde while my husband dropped off his son with his mother, were I in this situation.

Kaine and Desiree look close at this time, but it seems Terri was carrying the ball as far as communication between the family and Desiree up until now. Not a good situation for Kyron.

Also, IIRC, it was the school who called DY to tell her that Kyron was missing, because she was the person, outside of KH & TMH, who was listed as the emergency contact for Kyron. DY is the one who contacted TMH, after she received the initial call.

 

[Morag]

Also, IIRC, it was the school who called DY to tell her that Kyron was missing, because she was the person, outside of KH & TMH, who was listed as the emergency contact for Kyron. DY is the one who contacted TMH, after she received the initial call.

The school can't be bothered to call the homes of no-show, no-call-in students because they didn't have an automated calling system.
Well, they do have a school secretary or other employee who has fingers and phones. But when an elementary school student is marked absent and his/her parents don't call in, they don't think, gee, hope little Gladys is okay, I better call her house just to make sure nothing has happened. That is the way that every school system I've been involved with operates. It could't have been more than a few minutes worth of work each day, if that. Most parents are conscientious about calling their kids in, and in a small school, how many absences can there be? And what occupies a school employee that is more important than accounting for the safety of their students- filling out forms?

But when the system realizes Kyron is missing, they immediately call a parent who lives four hours away. CYA, anyone?
(Rant over).

 

[citigirl]

I can only comment based on my own experiences to say that for most of the time that we were communicating with my DH's ex, I was the one doing the communicating. I also provided a lot of the transportation, prior to getting an order in place that included transportation. It is not that my DH didn't care, but due to his work schedule and lack of flexibility with his schedule, I was frequently more available to complete these tasks. Also, because of DH's ex's ability to set him off with her attitude and my attention to detail and the children's schedules, it was easier for me to be the primary communicator on our side. There were times when DH did communicate with his ex and he would end up forgetting or miscommunicating details of activities that I would end up having to fix later on. I was also doing my darndest to ensure that my DH was able to see his kids as frequently as possible. Now, granted, this was prior to my younger children being born, but there have still been instances since, where I have done the transportation for some reason or another.

Being as that KH is in the IT field, it is possible that his work schedule did not always accommodate him leaving early on Fridays to take Kyron to meet DY. IT hours can be crazy at times. Maybe he saved the times that he got off early for when Kyron had something special going on, like was the case on that day. Also, it seems that since TMH appeared to be very involved in Kyron's activities, it was easier for her to communicate with DY. It may not necessarily have been a negative thing for her to be the primary communicator and transporter, at least from my experience.

I do understand that Terri may have had more flexibility than Kaine. But that particular day Kaine was home and would have been able to take Kyron. Wouldn't it make more sense to have Baby K stay home with Mom and Kaine drive his own son to see his mother? I guess I see the planned dropoff and an "in your face" move by Terri (as a previous poster put it), and possibly Kaine.

If the blended family situation was working, it seems to me that it was entirely Desiree's doing, by choosing not to take the bait or allow conflict to escalate.

 

[hollye]

I do understand that Terri may have had more flexibility than Kaine. But that particular day Kaine was home and would have been able to take Kyron. Wouldn't it make more sense to have Baby K stay home with Mom and Kaine drive his own son to see his mother? I guess I see the planned dropoff and an "in your face" move by Terri (as a previous poster put it), and possibly Kaine.

If the blended family situation was working, it seems to me that it was entirely Desiree's doing, by choosing not to take the bait or allow conflict to escalate.

I've seen so much information today, but I don't recall seeing that TMH alone was supposed to meet DY to exchange Kyron. IIRC, KH stated that he came home early to work from home for a bit and then they had plans to go out for an ice cream treat after Kyron got off the bus. Do we know for fact that KH was not taking Kyron to drop his to DY? For that matter, I also don't recall hearing either KH or DY state that Kyron was supposed to be going to DY's for the weekend. Have they actually cleared that up yet?

If Kyron was indeed supposed to go to DY's for the weekend, what seems strange to me is not who was taking him, but that KH, TMH & Kyron would go for ice cream after he got off the bus at 3:30, instead of getting on the road to take Kyron to meet DY at least 2 hours away that would not put him to DY's house until 8 or 9pm.

Does it make more sense for TMH to stay home with Baby K? Possibly, but there have been a couple of times where both DH and I have taken our younger children to return my step-daughter to her mother's for no other reason than we enjoy the drive and spending time with each other.

 

[Donjeta]

Supposing anyone of them didn't know that Kyron would be missing and no one would have to drive him anywhere when they made their plans, it could have been just that TH used to be home with the baby all day every day and it was a welcome change in the routine to drive Kyron.