2010.06.19 ~ Kyron Horman's Blended Family

[jessigirl]

While reading thru the 6pages of posts in the bio mom letter thread I, one of the links that I followed from a post there led me to the info I am now about to discuss. It concerns TMH, the blending of the family and some of the unbelievable info I stumbled upon today of just how that blended family came to be... If I understood correctly TMH and DY were close friends "originally"(before even Kyron was born).And once DY started having the severe health problems(i.e. on the verge of full renal failure)and somehow ended up in Canada to receive medical treatment for the kidney failure. If I understood correctly(&I believe I did)until this time DY was with whom Kyron primarily resided(as DY&KH had fairly recently separated&eventually divorced).But it was while DY was under medical treatment in Canada and because of the need for help in caring for Kyron that TMH started caring for Kyron(this was her initial reason for being in Kaine's life, by being a close friend of DY she was helping to take care of Kyron, while his mommy was ill and could not. This then led to TMH and her son(from a previous marriage)moving into the Horman residence to "care full time for Kyron"(IMO I have my doubts that this was TMH's primary motive,IMO she had her sights set on dad)But nonetheless it was at that point that her and her son moved into the Horman residence PERMANENTLY. Which as we know eventually led to a "romantic"(whatever u wanna call it?)relationship which then led to marriage and finally resulted in a daughter that is now 18mos.old.(And of course the glaringly obvious tragic event of the loss of Kyron at this present time).. What I'd like to know further about is what exactly took place(as in, fill in the huge blank spaces in between these last events mentioned) there is ALOT that transpired and took place over the course of these few years. When, why, and how did TMH and DY very close friendship end? (is it because of the obvious?TMH as DY's very close friend, whose purpose was to help care for her friends child while she was extremely ill, but instead TMH seemingly just took over DY's entire role as wife and mommy[IMO])I'd like to know just how it all transpired. I do not believe it to be all very sweet and rosy as TMH would want you to believe. Rather I think there were some very deep feelings of betrayal and hurt and possibly even anger(I know I'd be mad as HE!!). Finding this out about just what type of circumstances the dynamics of this blended family was formed are very telling to me.IMO it shows that part of TMH that she tries so very hard to pretend is NOT there and just further points to the lengths that TMH will go to get what she wants and to have things the way she wants them. I also feel like the timing of the 16yr old son(thats no longer residing with them)I believe this is no coincidence either. I will not go any further with my thoughts of why, when and how, rather I'll take them over to the theory thread and further elaborate on the disappearance of Kyron. (Lastly, I'll just say that (IMO, of course) TMH has been plotting/planning for quite some time for her perfect little family of "THREE" to live happily ever after)... MOO. This is IMVHO ONLY.
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/i..._family_f.html

 

[sofia76]

I'm not sure how this matters ... it seems pretty clear from the article that Desiree and Kaine were OVER when he and Terri got together. So what does it matter whether she had her eye on him or not? Kaine and Desiree both trusted her with Kyron, and it sounds like she did a pretty good job with him. Desiree is married to someone else, so doesn't seem that she is pining over Kaine.

 

[DidionFan]

Just stating some thoughts: As difficult OR as easy as the blending of relations in this saga may come off through our own individual interpretations of that article, it is very apparent to me that DY has been quite happy as well as supported by what in brief glimpses seems to me an amazingly supportive and strong, loving husband, marriage and familial environment. Everyone in this "foursome" seems to have accepted what happened when times and circumstances changed their lives back in 2000-2004. Except we still don't have anything more blatant to observe from TH or KH and their relationship, and that's fair. It's not necessarily our right.

That said, I don't honestly think that, whatever we may glean out of the "blended family" article, there exists any leftover animosity over Kaine. There seems to be no motive to assert a right over him, or to hurt him for past wrongs. DY is in a wonderful environment, it appears, during this difficult time. Her history seems to have been wedded as much as she was, and embraced. There shouldn't be too much thought read into what happened years ago, in my opinion...unless, the thought is that TH couldn't handle DY NOT being jealous. But that is too much weird, psychological speculation for me at this moment in time...

 

[jessigirl]

I'm not sure how this matters ... it seems pretty clear from the article that Desiree and Kaine were OVER when he and Terri got together. So what does it matter whether she had her eye on him or not? Kaine and Desiree both trusted her with Kyron, and it sounds like she did a pretty good job with him. Desiree is married to someone else, so doesn't seem that she is pining over Kaine.

Was not insinuating in any way that DY was pining or still in love with Kaine. But rather that it(IMO) showed a clearer picture(to me it did) of TMH's character. I believe she puts what she wants and how she wants it first and foremost, no matter whose feelings are hurt(&I'd bet alot of women feel as I do in that its just NOT the thing to do, to be a very close friend to someone and to be in a relationship with that someone's ex husaband, and most women would have a propblem and feel it was inappropriate) This to me just showed further insight into TMH's true character(IMO narcissist traits)this was even more obvious and telling by her conviction of a DUI with her son in the vehicle . These things along with the others mentioned in my above post are some of the things that are involved with my theory of little kyron's disappearance and possible motives and that is why I said that I would further elaborate on such in the theory thread... My feelings of TMH's actions and theory of possibly why Kyron is gone have nothing whatsoever to do with DY wanting back, pining away, or heartbroken of her ex husband.

 

[Mrs G Norris]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScBN9c--5s0&playnext_from=TL&videos=-UUy9PdR-9Q[/ame]

.....that's when the stepmom moves IN on the HUSBAND....seriously? Her friend gets sick, goes to Canada for treatment, SM moves into the house to help 'take care of the child' but ends up in the bedroom 'taking care of business' SERIOUSLY? WOW.

 

[rosiebean]

I'm not sure how this matters ... it seems pretty clear from the article that Desiree and Kaine were OVER when he and Terri got together. So what does it matter whether she had her eye on him or not? Kaine and Desiree both trusted her with Kyron, and it sounds like she did a pretty good job with him. Desiree is married to someone else, so doesn't seem that she is pining over Kaine.

The article in question quotes SM's friends and family and gives no other sources for the indication of the BioMom and BioDad relationship being 'over' when SM and BioDad got together. Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather wait until I get a fuller account of the relationship before I believe the 'facts as presented in the article. For all we know, BioMom thought the relationship was A-OK when in reality, it was far from such...and any semblance of 'normalcy' between the two bio parents and their new partners came about only through years of trial and error.

 

[Donjeta]

That's fine to have an opinion. I'm not saying we can't have opinions. But I think it's a huge leap to say she had insidious intentions in getting with Kaine, and that she's some kind of evil stepmother.

*respectfully snipped*
It might help if you linked to the messages that said that she had evil intentions starting the relationship because I didn't see any. Perhaps our excellent mods already deleted them?

 

[Annazed]

I don't know for a fact where Kaine was, but I did read that he worked from home on Fridays.

Just asking if there is a link for this about Kaine being home Fridays. All I saw was someone on this site saying that her husband sometimes works from home, and I have tried to read every post. Not criticizing, just asking. If Kaine was home that day I think this could be a whole other situation but I have seen no report anywhere that he was.

Thanks to anyone who can illuminate this for me.

 

[2goldfish]

I think a reasonable explanation for this may be due to the age of her oldest son, and him maybe wanting to get to know his real father. Also, who's to say that this son may not have been acting up, getting into trouble, etc. and that those involved thought it would be in this boy's best interests to live with the grandparents and then with his father. I understand why people may think this is "odd" but I learned that there is not a skeleton in every closet even though we may think there is.

I believe that child is the same age as my oldest - and if my oldest's father were still alive I would probably consider having him at his dad's for awhile. granted I am in the UK and dad woulda been in the US so probably everyone would make their own conclusions about that but some boys around this age I think need the influence more strongly from their father rather than their mother.


I dont find "child living with father" or whoever else as being remotely suspicious. we dont know what the kid himself wanted or why.

 

[2goldfish]

I have had a lot of single guy friends that I've been very very close to, though not intimate with, and I really can't even imagine myself giving up a career to go live with a man and take care of his infant son if the relationship was platonic at the beginning. I'm sure that Beaverton has daycares... I would guess that Intel may even have a daycare on the Jones Farm Campus... regardless, daycare or a daytime sitter at home would make sense. That's what most working single parents do. Moving a friend of your wife's into the house when the baby is 3 days old (I suspect earlier, actually) does not make sense.

A teacher leaving a full-time teaching job to move into the house to raise another woman's baby does not make sense. Leaving insurance and benefits to be a babysitter? Doesn't make sense. Giving up a new career to raise a baby for a friend? Nope... just doesn't make sense. Lugging your eight year old son along into this new home where you're going to raise someone else's baby? Are you kidding me? WHO does this kind of stuff?

My conclusion is that the relationship with Terri and Kaine wasn't as innocent at the beginning as the article's informant opined.

ITA between that and (I get confused, too many names mentioned, was it Kaine's mom? that said they're "been together 7 or 8 years and married 4 or 5"?) I suspect that TH was at least one of the reasons dad and mom were splitting before Kyron was even born....this would then make some more sense coupled with the comment(s) that TH had taken care of/raised Kyron from "three days old"


ETA: I'm just randomly having thoughts here, I'm not passing any judgement on anyone's character cause sometimes relationships get tangled and maybe they were a happy threeway to begin with. end of story, I doubt the relationships between them had or have anything to do with Kyron's disappearance.

 

[Donjeta]

It was Terri's mom Carol Moulton who said so.

 

[2goldfish]

I think the Oregonian is guilty of going only to Carol Moulton and Terri's friend for info. I contacted the author with verifiable, documented proof of an error in her story, and she told me that she would have to verify my documented proof by talking to Carol. Go figure.

My opinion is that that article and the previous one in which Carol was interviewed is basically a hagiography. MOO.

I always do so love a person who can use the word "hagiography" correctly :blushing:

 

[Donjeta]

I don't know about KH's schedule early in the day but he said that he was there to pick Kyron up from the bus with Terri so I think we can reasonably conclude that he was not at his workplace for at least some time in the afternoon before Kyron was found to be missing.

We did not know he was not at school until we went to get him off of the bus at 3:30 and he was nowhere to be found.

'
http://ackerlaw.com/posts/2010/06/07/missing_child__kyron_horman_7

 

[2goldfish]

Also, can't ASSUME that the courts were even involved i Kyrons case, it could have just been a verbal agreement between the parents. Perhaps if she had asked to have Kyron come to live with her, it would have happened. Perhaps she thought Kyrons roots were with Terri and Kaine and that she didn't want to uproot his life, take him from his familiar school and friends.

ITA my thoughts exactly etc. If she was off for medical treament she could not take care of him and that was the right thing to do. if she then didnt want to uproot a child from a familiar place that was working out well, that would also be the right thing to do.

 

[CocoChanel]

I'm not sure how this matters ... it seems pretty clear from the article that Desiree and Kaine were OVER when he and Terri got together. So what does it matter whether she had her eye on him or not? Kaine and Desiree both trusted her with Kyron, and it sounds like she did a pretty good job with him. Desiree is married to someone else, so doesn't seem that she is pining over Kaine.

BBM.

Well...maybe....until the day he went missing and she was the LAST person known to have seen him.

 

[glorybug]

Well, I do. My best friend quit her job at Cal-trans where she had a good job, and moved in with me, to take care of me. I had just had my second child, and had just been diagnosed with CEBV, CMFPS, Fibromyalgia and a choroidal melanoma. She left her fiance behind 3hrs away to move in with me. I should add that a couple of years after we became best friends, I introduced her to my ex-husband because I knew they'd be perfect for each other.

My husband at the time was incompetent at being able to take care of me or our children at the time, so I was very glad that she came to live with us. When I was in the hospital she took care of our children, even though my husband was home, because he was just no good at it. Her fiance (my ex-husband) came to visit her/us every other weekend until I felt better, which took 4 months. I can only imagine the comments people would make here about the four of us plus my children all getting along like that. If I had been in for extended care, I have no doubt she would have stayed by herself with my kids and husband, even though she despised him. I named her and my ex-husband as the children's godparents, and put them in my will as their caretakers if anything happened to me or the children's father.

I should add that not only did she quit her job, we did not pay her to live with us and caretake for us- she did it because she loved me and my children. Luckily, after she moved back with her fiance she found an even better job at the university. I will never be able to be thankful enough that she took care of my children when I needed her to, and that even though she didn't like him, she took care of my children's father as well.

So, yes, there are people who aren't bitter and resentful and murderous about people going out with their exes. There are people who will quit their jobs to take care of friends that they consider family.

BTW, I seriously doubt SM quit her job for no pay childcare. I'm going to guess the arrangement was food/board/pay and a place for her older son to stay. Exactly the same kind of arrangement we'd have had if it had been longer term, only there's no chance my girlfriend would have ended up with my children's father because she couldn't stand him.

glory, just for the record I do not know of any person who has given up their profession and moved in with someone of the opposite sex to care for their child. JMO

 

[Trident]

What I find extremly strange (Tarver is her first hubby, J's bio father) is this:

"She also flooded Tarver and other acquaintances with photos and e-mail updates of the baby's progress.

He thought that was unusual because he wasn't close to her family.

Mainly, their relationship has consisted of exchanging kids. Once a month, they would converge at Shari's Restaurant in Springfield and do a swap, with J. staying with Tarver and his new wife, and Kyron going with Desiree and her husband.

They no longer do that swap with Tarver. Since March, J has lived in Roseburg, first with his grandparents and now with Tarver.
It's not clear why he was sent away."

HOWEVER (R Ecker is the second hubby):

"she married Richard Ecker in Springfield. He adopted J two years later. Ecker, who now lives in the Portland area, continues to pay more than $500 in monthly child support for J, though he's not seen him in six or seven years.

"He's still my legal son," Ecker said."

To my way of thinking this shows a lot about the character of several people: Taver got the visits; Terri got the gold mine ($500/mo); and Ecker got the shaft. I wonder if he now has to pay support to the bio dad, Taver?
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/kyron_hormans_blended_family_f.html

 

[grandmaj]

Discuss the facts listed in this article. No assumptions please. And the best car I ever had was a red Mustang so don't generalize about people who own red Mustangs or any other of the family dynamics! Some of the red Mustang owner comments I saw a few days ago didn't describe me at ALL so don't be putting their lives in a box.

This thread will be closed faster than a hot potato if rumors and gossip abound.


Let's get back to FACT. Stop making assumptions and gossiping.

 

[glorybug]

And that is why I am not a big fan of FaceBook or Twitter. It somehow gives people the idea that I want to know every detail about their lives. I don't want to know what mood they are in, or what 'thing' they just achieved in some online game. I don't want pictures every day of their children, pets or tats.

My personal experience is that its a playground for narcissitic people. I tried it, and then got very frustrated that I got so many friend requests. I don't like the way they recommend or push people to friend you if a friend of a friend has you on their list. Plus, if you are a musician or artist, as I am, other musicians/artist seem to try to amass huge friend lists so that every time they play/have a show, they can send me invites to pay to see them. Ugh, I can't stand it.

Worse, every time I did bother to sign in, there would be a sidebar with suggestions of who I should friend. Even though we share no contacts or friends, regularly my abusive ex-husband's profile shows up as someone I should friend. What? So he can cyber-stalk me?

I am glad FaceBook exists, and that stupid criminals detail their lives there... I just can't stand it and don't use it often personally. My fiance and I have no pictures on ours, and we refuse friend requests. Altogether between us, we have maybe 20 friends/family that we keep in contact with through that.

What I find extremly strange (Tarver is her first hubby, J's bio father) is this:

"She also flooded Tarver and other acquaintances with photos and e-mail updates of the baby's progress.

He thought that was unusual because he wasn't close to her family.

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/kyron_hormans_blended_family_f.html

 

[winterrose]

Was not insinuating in any way that DY was pining or still in love with Kaine. But rather that it(IMO) showed a clearer picture(to me it did) of TMH's character. I believe she puts what she wants and how she wants it first and foremost, no matter whose feelings are hurt(&I'd bet alot of women feel as I do in that its just NOT the thing to do, to be a very close friend to someone and to be in a relationship with that someone's ex husaband, and most women would have a propblem and feel it was inappropriate) This to me just showed further insight into TMH's true character(IMO narcissist traits)this was even more obvious and telling by her conviction of a DUI with her son in the vehicle . These things along with the others mentioned in my above post are some of the things that are involved with my theory of little kyron's disappearance and possible motives and that is why I said that I would further elaborate on such in the theory thread... My feelings of TMH's actions and theory of possibly why Kyron is gone have nothing whatsoever to do with DY wanting back, pining away, or heartbroken of her ex husband.

I actually am in agreement with you as I feel a person that is competitive as the SM,bodybuilding competitions,are very much into what they look like.If you'll notice in the photo of Kyron and his mother,she's very pretty,even looks like Jane Seymour somewhat,thin and he looks just like her.The SM was going back to the gym,as in the pressers looks to still have her baby weight.I won't say more on the whole competition thing now,but I do agree with your analysis.