2010.06.19 ~ Kyron Horman's Blended Family

[GrainneDhu]

I feel your pain and I also feel your frustration because I am one like you. I call them myths that have been put out in society for so long without really delving into the truth.

IMO

Thank you. That is exactly what happens.

It's like the bugaboo about not swimming for a half hour or an hour or two hours after eating for fear of cramps. There's no basis in scientific or medical fact to support it, it's just something people have said to children for so long that many accept it as true.

Veering further off topic: I suspect that the first parent to say that to a child had just eaten a nice, big meal and was feeling sleepy. Take a nap or go down to the waterhole to supervise the kids...? AHA! "I'll tell the little cave rats that they have to wait an hour before they swim or they'll get cramps and that way I can get my nap. And heck, who knows, could be true!"

 

[Aedrys]

The only thing I have learned about following these cases is that while there might be 'norms' about how they usually are committed, there are too many variables to armchair sleuth without facts.

Honestly- name ONE sleuthing person who correctly identified Sandra Cantu's killer as being a church-involved woman? NONE. Partly because LE did not release facts.

When there are no facts released, and I read people's 'guesses', it really makes me aware of how much people really just don't like stepmothers. I am not one, and have never had one, and based on how people perceive them, I am sure glad I have no experience in that regard. I'm especially glad I'm not one.

I don't think it has to do with her being a stepmother either. I have heard stories about bad stepparents, but I am also a stepparent myself to an eleven year old girl who's mother left her when she was five years old and never came back. Not all stepparent situations are filled with bad people that don't care about the kids involved.

Sometimes kids NEED stepparents to be there for them when the bio parents aren't. Just because a parent is bio, does not automatically make them a good parent. I hate to see you with this attitude because it makes me think you might pass over being a stepparent just because of the stigma.

I'm not saying every situation is rosy, and I was nervous as heck when I decided to become a stepparent because of the stigma, but I have not regretted it and I am proud to call myself a stepmother. My stepdaughter needs as many people around her that love and care for her because of the one person who doesn't and left a big hole inside of her. I get frustrated, and there are challenges, but I know that I will always love her and be a part of her life. Being a stepparent isn't easy and is very challenging, but it can also a loving and rewarding situation.

We don't know the dynamics of this family specifically here, but it seems like Kyron had four parents that loved him. They might not be perfect and definitely seem to have flaws, but they love him and that's what counts.

 

[jessigirl]

Here's the quote soemone was asking to see, questioning the validity of the FACT that DY did have RO against KH. (IMO I read into it that it was more of a prob with custody issues and NOT OF ANY TYPE OF ALLEGED VIOLENCE)... Do notice the quote below states this fact per court records and even one step further it states the actual judge presiding over the RO matter.

What hasn’t been made public is the fact that, a month after filing for divorce, Young sought a restraining order against Kaine Horman, Kyron’s dad.

At the time, she had a 7-year-old son from a previous marriage. In court documents, Young said she feared Kaine Horman would “remove our children from their residence.” It’s unclear whether the couple was living together at the time. Washington County Circuit Judge Donald Letourneau granted Young’s request, forbidding either her or Kaine Horman from taking the children without the other’s consent

 

[GrainneDhu]

This sounds like a rumor.

Thank you, 6angels. Does this qualify as rumour?

The Willamette Week:

http://wweek.com/editorial/3633/14183/

From that article:

Washington County Circuit Judge Donald Letourneau granted Young’s request, forbidding either her or Kaine Horman from taking the children without the other’s consent.

 

[Hippy Chick]

Poor little guy. She gives loving step moms a bad name. I know several good step parents. I had a bad feeling about her from the start. It would be great to find him alive and well but I'm afraid this won't be the case. So sad

 

[DairyGirl]

Poor little guy. She gives loving step moms a bad name. I know several good step parents. I had a bad feeling about her from the start. It would be great to find him alive and well but I'm afraid this won't be the case. So sad

I had the stepmother from hell but at least she didn't try to kill me.

 

[AvalonBlue]

Question about possible thread: Were TH & DY really friends?

I'm very frustrated to keep hearing *and* reading on every newscast and TV show and every online media source that TH and DY were friends before Kyron was even born. Also frustrating to me is the repeated news that TH knew and helped take care of Kyron from the time he was "three days old."

The first time I read all this was in an Oregon Live article about "The Blended Family." TH's friends have also claimed it is true -- however, DY stated very clearly in the media interviews with Kaine that she was *NOT* friends with TH.

Please see bolded quote below from WS Timeline. I wasn't sure how to directly quote it from the WS Case Calendar to this thread, so I bolded instead.:innocent:

From WS Case Calendar and timeline information
eyes4crime 6/30/10 at 4:31 p.m. Post #9
Updated and corrected time-line - thanks fellow WS's. time-line marriage, separations, births
Taken from article in Oregonian and WW(no longer working)

2004 - Desiree goes to Canada for treatment of a life-threatening kidney failure.

2004 - Kaine brought in Terri and son to care for Kyron. (corrected via statement bio mom made about not knowing Terri).

So, WS has clearly corrected the original incorrect Oregonian info about the friendship. I'm proud about this due to being a member here:blushing: and frustrated that no one else in the media seems to have done so.

To me, DY's words, tone, and demeanor clearly indicated she was *not* friends with TH. Did the original erroneous information from the Oregonian come from TH's "friends" or TH's mother?

I would like to see this misinformation cleared up -- #1. because it has been refuted by DY and #2. every time I read it or hear someone say it, the "long friendship" (error) statement seems to be used to cast a negative light on DY -- IMHO.

So, does anyone else have an issue with this? Does anyone else have information about how DY and TH came to know each other and how to correct this constantly repeated error in the media?

TIA

P.S. I hope I posted this in the right place.:angel:

 

[WholeLottaRosie]

Question about possible thread: Were TH & DY really friends?

I'm very frustrated to keep hearing *and* reading on every newscast and TV show and every online media source that TH and DY were friends before Kyron was even born. Also frustrating to me is the repeated news that TH knew and helped take care of Kyron from the time he was "three days old."

The first time I read all this was in an Oregon Live article about "The Blended Family." TH's friends have also claimed it is true -- however, DY stated very clearly in the media interviews with Kaine that she was *NOT* friends with TH.

Please see bolded quote below from WS Timeline. I wasn't sure how to directly quote it from the WS Case Calendar to this thread, so I bolded instead.:innocent:

From WS Case Calendar and timeline information
eyes4crime 6/30/10 at 4:31 p.m. Post #9
Updated and corrected time-line - thanks fellow WS's. time-line marriage, separations, births
Taken from article in Oregonian and WW(no longer working)

2004 - Desiree goes to Canada for treatment of a life-threatening kidney failure.

2004 - Kaine brought in Terri and son to care for Kyron. (corrected via statement bio mom made about not knowing Terri).

So, WS has clearly corrected the original incorrect Oregonian info about the friendship. I'm proud about this due to being a member here:blushing: and frustrated that no one else in the media seems to have done so.

To me, DY's words, tone, and demeanor clearly indicated she was *not* friends with TH. Did the original erroneous information from the Oregonian come from TH's "friends" or TH's mother?

I would like to see this misinformation cleared up -- #1. because it has been refuted by DY and #2. every time I read it or hear someone say it, the "long friendship" (error) statement seems to be used to cast a negative light on DY -- IMHO.

So, does anyone else have an issue with this? Does anyone else have information about how DY and TH came to know each other and how to correct this constantly repeated error in the media?

TIA

P.S. I hope I posted this in the right place.:angel:

What interview did DY say this in? TIA

 

[WholeLottaRosie]

Not sure if this goes here, or needs another thread. And if this has been discussed, I can't find it, so would someone tell me where to go?

TH's parents have both spoken to the media. Have any of the other grandparents? Also, I know we have discussed somewhere that KH's father writes children books, but, has he been interviewed about Kyron being missing?

TIA

 

[cluciano63]

We have no way of knowing who has been interviewed but certainly all family including grandparents would be, with the FBI involved. I can't imagine all scenarios within the families not being thoroughly checked out right away, in case it was custodial/revenge.

 

[CharlestonGal]

Question about possible thread: Were TH & DY really friends?

I'm very frustrated to keep hearing *and* reading on every newscast and TV show and every online media source that TH and DY were friends before Kyron was even born. Also frustrating to me is the repeated news that TH knew and helped take care of Kyron from the time he was "three days old."

The first time I read all this was in an Oregon Live article about "The Blended Family." TH's friends have also claimed it is true -- however, DY stated very clearly in the media interviews with Kaine that she was *NOT* friends with TH.

Please see bolded quote below from WS Timeline. I wasn't sure how to directly quote it from the WS Case Calendar to this thread, so I bolded instead.:innocent:

From WS Case Calendar and timeline information
eyes4crime 6/30/10 at 4:31 p.m. Post #9
Updated and corrected time-line - thanks fellow WS's. time-line marriage, separations, births
Taken from article in Oregonian and WW(no longer working)

2004 - Desiree goes to Canada for treatment of a life-threatening kidney failure.

2004 - Kaine brought in Terri and son to care for Kyron. (corrected via statement bio mom made about not knowing Terri).

So, WS has clearly corrected the original incorrect Oregonian info about the friendship. I'm proud about this due to being a member here:blushing: and frustrated that no one else in the media seems to have done so.

To me, DY's words, tone, and demeanor clearly indicated she was *not* friends with TH. Did the original erroneous information from the Oregonian come from TH's "friends" or TH's mother?

I would like to see this misinformation cleared up -- #1. because it has been refuted by DY and #2. every time I read it or hear someone say it, the "long friendship" (error) statement seems to be used to cast a negative light on DY -- IMHO.

So, does anyone else have an issue with this? Does anyone else have information about how DY and TH came to know each other and how to correct this constantly repeated error in the media?

TIA

P.S. I hope I posted this in the right place.:angel:

Terri moved in with Kaine in 2003 (before Kaine assumed full custody). If you read further down the "blended family" article, it talks about Terri's personal, work and education history. It says that AFTER moving in with Kaine, Terri worked at substitute teaching positions from 2003 to 2006.

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/kyron_hormans_blended_family_f.html

"Between March 2001 and June 2002, she was a substitute teacher in the Hillsboro School District. According to spokesman Beth Graser, Terri held long-term jobs at Eastwood, Mooberry and Lenox elementaries.

After moving in with Kaine, Terri went onto the on-call substitute teachers list between 2003 and 2006. Graser said Terri held no more long-term jobs with the district."


What that says to me is that Terri moved in with Kaine a year before he had custody of Kyron, so the whole "nanny" and "helping with the baby" thing goes out the window right there. She moved in with him before Kyron was even there.

ETA: Desiree provided a direct and simple NO when asked if she and Terri were friends during Desiree's pregnancy.

 

[WholeLottaRosie]

We have no way of knowing who has been interviewed but certainly all family including grandparents would be, with the FBI involved. I can't imagine all scenarios within the families not being thoroughly checked out right away, in case it was custodial/revenge.

Yes, I would assume that, I just wondered if any other of the Grands have spoke to media.

 

[Kelly Faraday]

I don't think it has to do with her being a stepmother either. I have heard stories about bad stepparents, but I am also a stepparent myself to an eleven year old girl who's mother left her when she was five years old and never came back. Not all stepparent situations are filled with bad people that don't care about the kids involved.

Sometimes kids NEED stepparents to be there for them when the bio parents aren't. Just because a parent is bio, does not automatically make them a good parent. I hate to see you with this attitude because it makes me think you might pass over being a stepparent just because of the stigma.

I'm not saying every situation is rosy, and I was nervous as heck when I decided to become a stepparent because of the stigma, but I have not regretted it and I am proud to call myself a stepmother. My stepdaughter needs as many people around her that love and care for her because of the one person who doesn't and left a big hole inside of her. I get frustrated, and there are challenges, but I know that I will always love her and be a part of her life. Being a stepparent isn't easy and is very challenging, but it can also a loving and rewarding situation.

We don't know the dynamics of this family specifically here, but it seems like Kyron had four parents that loved him. They might not be perfect and definitely seem to have flaws, but they love him and that's what counts.

God bless you Aedrys! For stepping up and being the mom this young lady needs and deserves. :angel:

Terri cared for Kyron since he was a tiny little guy. I simply refuse to believe she woke up one day and decided to remove him from their family. Hate to be redundant, but if his SM is involved, something happened by accident.

 

[Donjeta]

Question about possible thread: Were TH & DY really friends?

I'm very frustrated to keep hearing *and* reading on every newscast and TV show and every online media source that TH and DY were friends before Kyron was even born. Also frustrating to me is the repeated news that TH knew and helped take care of Kyron from the time he was "three days old."

The first time I read all this was in an Oregon Live article about "The Blended Family." TH's friends have also claimed it is true -- however, DY stated very clearly in the media interviews with Kaine that she was *NOT* friends with TH.

Please see bolded quote below from WS Timeline. I wasn't sure how to directly quote it from the WS Case Calendar to this thread, so I bolded instead.:innocent:

From WS Case Calendar and timeline information
eyes4crime 6/30/10 at 4:31 p.m. Post #9
Updated and corrected time-line - thanks fellow WS's. time-line marriage, separations, births
Taken from article in Oregonian and WW(no longer working)

2004 - Desiree goes to Canada for treatment of a life-threatening kidney failure.

2004 - Kaine brought in Terri and son to care for Kyron. (corrected via statement bio mom made about not knowing Terri).

So, WS has clearly corrected the original incorrect Oregonian info about the friendship. I'm proud about this due to being a member here:blushing: and frustrated that no one else in the media seems to have done so.

To me, DY's words, tone, and demeanor clearly indicated she was *not* friends with TH. Did the original erroneous information from the Oregonian come from TH's "friends" or TH's mother?

I would like to see this misinformation cleared up -- #1. because it has been refuted by DY and #2. every time I read it or hear someone say it, the "long friendship" (error) statement seems to be used to cast a negative light on DY -- IMHO.

So, does anyone else have an issue with this? Does anyone else have information about how DY and TH came to know each other and how to correct this constantly repeated error in the media?

TIA

P.S. I hope I posted this in the right place.:angel:

Terri's friend told the media that Terri had known Kyron ever since he was three days old. It is generally a bit hard to get to know newborns unless you know one or more of his parents/other caretakers. Desiree denied having known Terri before Kyron was born so we can perhaps safely assume that Terri knew Kaine.

"I want people to know that she's a good person she's a devoted mother," said Jaymie Finster. "She's been in Kyron's life since he was 3-day-old."

http://www.nwcn.com/news/oregon/Friend-defends-Kyron-Hormans-stepmom-96798439.html

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/details_emerge_about_the_day_k.html

Terri knowing Kaine would fit in with what her mother had to say about her relationship with Kyron. She lets us understand that Terri and Kaine have been together for seven or eight years and she's known Kyron from an infant (Kyron is now seven). She also remarks that the reason for her being so mother-like for Kyron is that the parents were separated. It would be an unusual remark if the nature of the relationship with the baby is a friendship with the baby's mother but it makes sense in a situation in which a woman has a relationship with the father. IMO

Carol Moulton said that Kaine, 36, and Terri, 40, have been together for seven or eight years and that they have been married for four or five years. The couple have an 18-month-old girl.

"Terri has raised Kyron," her mother said. "She's been with him since he was an infant. She's as much of a mom as the mom is because the parents had separated about the time that Kyron was born."

 

[Curious Me]

I don't remember DY saying she and TH were not friends from before. Do you have a link to that? If that is the truth, that DY and TH weren't even friends before, I agree it should be corrected in the media.

Blended sure turned to something else this week, eh.

 

[CharlestonGal]

I don't remember DY saying she and TH were not friends from before. Do you have a link to that? If that is the truth, that DY and TH weren't even friends before, I agree it should be corrected in the media.

Blended sure turned to something else this week, eh.

It's in one of the live interview videos from last Friday.

 

[Curious Me]

Thanks. This info helps me see the dynamics from another angle. Gee, you'd have thought DY and TH were such close friends the way it was slanted in the beginning. Helps explain DY's cringe when TH was touching her.

Terri moved in because of a relationship with Kaine is the truth then.

 

[ClueMeIn]

Jessiesgirl, Where was that posted? How do we know this as fact?


What hasn’t been made public is the fact that, a month after filing for divorce, Young sought a restraining order against Kaine Horman, Kyron’s dad.

At the time, she had a 7-year-old son from a previous marriage. In court documents, Young said she feared Kaine Horman would “remove our children from their residence.” It’s unclear whether the couple was living together at the time. Washington County Circuit Judge Donald Letourneau granted Young’s request, forbidding either her or Kaine Horman from taking the children without the other’s consent

 

[Donjeta]

It's a WW article.
http://www.willametteweek.com/editorial/3633/14183/

 

[AbbieNormal]

I didn't know till I read it in a post a little while ago that Desiree is a nurse.