2010.07.16 - Kaine Horman: "Terri was a good person when we first met"

[justathought]

Does anyone recall and interview very early on with Kaine where he said, "When this is over, we can put our family back together again?"....or something to that effect. When he said it, I thought what a strange statement. What does that mean? Then shortly after he began throwing and continues to throw Terri under the bus. I'm with those who think something is not right here...either the marriage was done and he also has a hidden agenda going or he's too willing for my taste to be the front man for LE/FBI. It;s obvious something was not right with the marraige and Kaine appears entirely too ready to put all of it on his wife. I think the issues may have centered around she was bored...and acting inappropriately..i.e. the sexting, that she wanted her body back. That she was looking to return to work...for all we know Kaine may have been opposed to her recreating a life for herself.

An FBI agent was quoted as recently as saying Terri is "detached"...well, lets see....your husband is divorcing you, you can't see your child, you are thrown out of your home, you don't work, your husband is blasting you publically.....how do you cope except be detached?
I'm sorry folks. Not popular here but I'm just not sure she did it and she may not know what happened, either. FWIW, I'm usually wrong.......

 

[Etilema]

IF Th really was a great mom to her three kids, a good wife a good friend to Desiree, etc., and then something changed when her baby girl was born, I'd say PPD could definitely play a role.

But we have the quote from Desiree that TH has been lying for the whole 7-1/2 years she's known her. It would seem that, unlike KH, she doesn't think TH was a "nice person" until the past couple of years.

BTW, didn't KH and TH get married in 2008? Is that when the apparent change took place?

 

[Aedrys]

Perhaps it has more to do with Kaines feelings about women and pregnancy. Notice that he had a previous marraige that fell apart while that wife was pregnant, and now he is saying that up until TH got pregnant she was a good person. IOW, maybe he has a thing about pregnancy and his "observations" speak more to his problems than hers.

That's possible, but I do think these are two different pregnancies. KH and DY were ALREADY separating when she found out she was pregnant. Nowhere have I seen that they got separated BECAUSE she was pregnant. People are trying to equalize these two pregancies, but they were different. KH and DY were already heading towards a divorce. We don't know if things were good with KH and TH and they wanted to have a baby together, or things weren't good and she happened to get pregnant as a way to try and save the marriage. KH and DY still got divorced, and we also don't know if that was because TH horned in and got KH away from DY either.

There are so many elements here that we don't know about both pregnancies. I seriously doubt the exact same thing went on BOTH times. The one thing I do know is that these women are DIFFERENT. I highly doubt that what happened at the time of DY's pregnancy was the same as what happened at the time of TH's pregnancy. I don't think comparing the two pregnancies is a good idea. I don't think KH looked at DY any less when she was pregnant because they were already heading for a divorce. When TH was pregnant, they were just married, and for all we know, were wanting to expand their family. I think the pregnancies were different and it drives me nuts that people want to keep saying they were exactly the same and KH just ignored both women because they were pregnant, or was less attracted to them because they were pregnant. We haven't heard of DY's behavior changing, or anything about DY's pregnancy other than they were already separating and then she got pregnant.

Personally, I think TH had problems going on that got exarcerbated by the pregnancy. And being a man, KH blamed anything that came up on TH being pregnant. Men do that, they blame things they can't explain or seem out of the ordinary, when it comes to women, on women problems. They don't understand that other things might be wrong that need to be taken care of by therapy and/or medication. Plus, this is his second marriage, and I think he just didn't want to believe that things weren't working for a second time. People in this situation usually don't want to have two bad marriages, so they tend to view things in a more positive light because of that.

DY's pregnancy was a totally different situation, and I don't think it's comparable in the least to TH's pregnancy, all IMO.

 

[Chewy]

Does anyone recall and interview very early on with Kaine where he said, "When this is over, we can put our family back together again?"....or something to that effect. When he said it, I thought what a strange statement. What does that mean? Then shortly after he began throwing and continues to throw Terri under the bus. I'm with those who think something is not right here...either the marriage was done and he also has a hidden agenda going or he's too willing for my taste to be the front man for LE/FBI. It;s obvious something was not right with the marraige and Kaine appears entirely too ready to put all of it on his wife. I think the issues may have centered around she was bored...and acting inappropriately..i.e. the sexting, that she wanted her body back. That she was looking to return to work...for all we know Kaine may have been opposed to her recreating a life for herself.

An FBI agent was quoted as recently as saying Terri is "detached"...well, lets see....your husband is divorcing you, you can't see your child, you are thrown out of your home, you don't work, your husband is blasting you publically.....how do you cope except be detached?
I'm sorry folks. Not popular here but I'm just not sure she did it and she may not know what happened, either. FWIW, I'm usually wrong.......

I agree with this. I understand some people are saying that Kaine would definitely be flipping out right now and want his son back. But what doesn't seem right to me is as you said the way he's so willing to do this. Also the photo ops of him sitting on a sliding board looking despondant it's all a little bit too staged for me.

This is why I sometimes wonder if he had something to do with this and he's tossing it all on Terri. I mean if we are going to speculate about Terri then why not Kaine as well.

He's got two marriages where it fell apart surrounding a pregnancy, and of course they are two different things but at the same time, I'm not sure that it still doesn't register as a testament to his character. He's too willing in my opinion to have press conferences and trash Terri rather than focusing on his son. I don't see how it benefits finding Kyron to publically trash his wife and talk about their marriage problems to the press. I can see discussing it with the LE and also close friends and family but why do we need to know all of this?

In my opinion doing this and focusing so hard on TH if she does has something to do with this would only seal his son's fate. To me the only hope of getting Kyron back would be to keep quiet and work it out with the cops. There's no point to this now except for turning it into a vicious attack on TH.

Even the statement that she was trying to "kidnap" her daughter doesn't make any sense to me at all. How is she trying to kidnap her daughter just because she asks if Kaine shows up at the gym. Right now she's in the media spotlight, it would be impossible for her to get away with such a thing. It just makes no sense to me that people would see it that way.

This case has played out like a soap opera in the news and it just seems really weird to me the way it has been handled.

 

[debs]

That's possible, but I do think these are two different pregnancies. KH and DY were ALREADY separating when she found out she was pregnant. Nowhere have I seen that they got separated BECAUSE she was pregnant. People are trying to equalize these two pregancies, but they were different. KH and DY were already heading towards a divorce. We don't know if things were good with KH and TH and they wanted to have a baby together, or things weren't good and she happened to get pregnant as a way to try and save the marriage. KH and DY still got divorced, and we also don't know if that was because TH horned in and got KH away from DY either.

There are so many elements here that we don't know about both pregnancies. I seriously doubt the exact same thing went on BOTH times. The one thing I do know is that these women are DIFFERENT. I highly doubt that what happened at the time of DY's pregnancy was the same as what happened at the time of TH's pregnancy. I don't think comparing the two pregnancies is a good idea. I don't think KH looked at DY any less when she was pregnant because they were already heading for a divorce. When TH was pregnant, they were just married, and for all we know, were wanting to expand their family. I think the pregnancies were different and it drives me nuts that people want to keep saying they were exactly the same and KH just ignored both women because they were pregnant, or was less attracted to them because they were pregnant. We haven't heard of DY's behavior changing, or anything about DY's pregnancy other than they were already separating and then she got pregnant.

Personally, I think TH had problems going on that got exarcerbated by the pregnancy. And being a man, KH blamed anything that came up on TH being pregnant. Men do that, they blame things they can't explain or seem out of the ordinary, when it comes to women, on women problems. They don't understand that other things might be wrong that need to be taken care of by therapy and/or medication. Plus, this is his second marriage, and I think he just didn't want to believe that things weren't working for a second time. People in this situation usually don't want to have two bad marriages, so they tend to view things in a more positive light because of that.

DY's pregnancy was a totally different situation, and I don't think it's comparable in the least to TH's pregnancy, all IMO.

We know quite a bit. That Desiree had a marriage that disintegrated after she got pregnant (even if extenuating circumstances made the pregnancy a last ditch effort to save the marriage....it happens.) It resulted in a child who elicited care and concern for friends and family, and a good friend (Terri) taking care of a lot of his needs early on. We know there was a RO attached to the breakup of this relationship with Kaine. We know at some point the situation changed and Desiree's health took a bad turn and Kaine got custody of Kyron. We know that at that time, Terri moved in to be in a position to take care of Kyron full time. We know that 3 years ago, Terri and Kaine decided to make it legal and married. We know that shortly after, baby K was born. We know that until Terri got pregnant, she was a decent person. We know that from that moment to this, Kaine at least in his head has associated pregnancy twice with the disintegration of his marriage. We know that at least twice, Kaine Horman has had the need of an RO, once as respondent, and now once as plaintiff. We know that at least twice, there was a parental separation of the small child to its mother (both Kyron and K have this in common).

We know a lot. What we don't know is whether that all has any bearing on Kyron's disappearance, and if so, how? And further, we have no idea that the stereotype that seems to be acceptable here (blaming women's problems) isn't even more indicative of what Terri might have been living with.......a man who cannot stand pregnant women. They are out there, and it is not only right and fair to speculate if Kaine is one of those types, but diligent. And further, what then would that environment do to erode Terri's state of mind and feeling of self-worth. If you think women can just shrug that off, you're wrong. When the man they care for thinks like that, it's permeating, right into a woman's soul.

 

[TxLady2]

There was a case in my area several years ago, a woman stoned two of her little boys to death and left the baby severely brain damaged. She apparently suffered from PPD and it escalated into a psychosis. NO ONE saw it coming. Not her husband, her parents. her in-laws, nor her church friends. She heard voices telling her she had to kill her children to "save" them from the devil, and she called 911 herself. She is now in a mental institution where she will stay for the rest of her life. Her name is Deanna Laney, some of you may remember this case, it was nationally publcized, but didn't quite get the amount of national media attention as the Andrea Yates case.
But in both these cases, these women admitted what they did immediately. They did not try to cover it up, they didn't hide from LE. And these were their biological children.
If Terri did this, I don't think it was due to some psychosis resulting from PPD. I think she resented Kaine, and possibly Desiree and wanted to take away the one thing they had in common... their child. I also do not think she is insane, as both Andrea and Deanna were found to be. I think she might be very unstable but I think her motive was far different than these other women's were. JMHO, and I am sometimes wrong, too.

 

[bessie]

We know quite a bit. That Desiree had a marriage that disintegrated after she got pregnant (even if extenuating circumstances made the pregnancy a last ditch effort to save the marriage....it happens.) It resulted in a child who elicited care and concern for friends and family, and a good friend (Terri) taking care of a lot of his needs early on. We know there was a RO attached to the breakup of this relationship with Kaine. We know at some point the situation changed and Desiree's health took a bad turn and Kaine got custody of Kyron. We know that at that time, Terri moved in to be in a position to take care of Kyron full time. We know that 3 years ago, Terri and Kaine decided to make it legal and married. We know that shortly after, baby K was born. We know that until Terri got pregnant, she was a decent person. We know that from that moment to this, Kaine at least in his head has associated pregnancy twice with the disintegration of his marriage. We know that at least twice, Kaine Horman has had the need of an RO, once as respondent, and now once as plaintiff. We know that at least twice, there was a parental separation of the small child to its mother (both Kyron and K have this in common).

We know a lot. What we don't know is whether that all has any bearing on Kyron's disappearance, and if so, how? And further, we have no idea that the stereotype that seems to be acceptable here (blaming women's problems) isn't even more indicative of what Terri might have been living with.......a man who cannot stand pregnant women. They are out there, and it is not only right and fair to speculate if Kaine is one of those types, but diligent. And further, what then would that environment do to erode Terri's state of mind and feeling of self-worth. If you think women can just shrug that off, you're wrong. When the man they care for thinks like that, it's permeating, right into a woman's soul.

I don't know if it was your intention, debs, but your statements aid in establishing a motive for Terri to harm Kyron, beyond PPD. If it's true that Kaine is something of a misogynist with a disdain for pregnant women and motherhood, his lack of affection and diminished desire would've humiliated Terri. In turn, Terri's role as wife and mother would've become demeaning, leaving her frustrated and and struggling to bolster her sense of self-worth. Evidence of this are her return to body building and the renewal of her teaching credentials, both of which can be viewed as healthy responses, actions taken by a woman to repair her ego and to maintain her autonomy. The situation becomes dicier if Terri possesses a narcissistic personality as many have speculated, and I agree, based on her known actions. If that is the case, her apparently strong level of self-esteem rests on weak underpinnings, and any threat to degrade it would be met with a strong defensive action. The severity of the perceived threat would determine the extremeness of the reaction, and aggression and violence are not precluded. All the more reason to focus on Terri as the perp, IMO.

 

[txsvicki]

There are some similarities IMO and apparently some problems in the marriage. Terri's baby is about the same age as Kyron was when Desiree was forced to begin talking to her and accepting that she was in his life or caring for him. Women usually want to off a husband if they think they're going to lose their kids or over money. If Terri thought she was going to lose her child then she may not have been able to handle it. It's also interesting that she's said to have changed about the time of pregnancy and childbirth, but that's also the age that Kyron wouldn't need a full time babysitter because he was into regular school. Some of Terri's symptoms that have been described seem almost like grief and anger over something instead of any PPD. Just my IMO and speculation, but we all really only know very little to go on. Kyron could be alive if Terri did not want to give him up and conned someone into hiding him.

 

[CarmelEyesD]

edit: bbm

I don't think if kaine had affairs or not have anything to do with this case. He is a missing his son.

It could matter if he had an affair and the kidnapping had to do with someone he ended an affair with, or dumped. Just saying.

 

[Emma Peel]

Speaking of being a good person when they first met,

when did they first meet? :waitasec:

Do we know?

 

[CarmelEyesD]

**snipped***An FBI agent was quoted as recently as saying Terri is "detached"...well, lets see....your husband is divorcing you, you can't see your child, you are thrown out of your home, you don't work, your husband is blasting you publically.....how do you cope except be detached?

*******

Terri maybe feeling overwhelmed, hurt, depressed and detached. I think at that point my attitude would be ***you, and I would be withdrawing, not speaking and unhappy. I wouldn't care any more what the world thought-90 per cent have already convicted her in the media. I might speak with LE, but wouldn't with anyone else, nor care what they thought. I can see her being with someone, even thought the sexting to me is distasteful, I can see her responding to the feeling that someone cares, someone is on her side, and someone is there for her. Her reactions may not be normal-but neither is her life right now. I see it as a form of 'ugly coping'..and I am sure she never thought it would be publicized and all over the media-I am also sure she thought it was private. I don't agree with blasting all the info over the media either-if that was supposed to be an effective method of 'getting her to crack'-it didn't work.

 

[Pensfan]

Ted Bundy’s girlfriend (Elizabeth Kendall - a pseudonym )also thought he was a nice person in the beginning of their relationship. She wrote a book about good ol’ Ted and titled him the phantom prince.

Evil people that do not have a conscience are very adapt at telling and living convincing lies.

 

[txsvicki]

Terri has been in Kaine's life for years. At the very least since Kyron was 18 months old and even before then as verified by Desiree. Has she been a good person who has only shown a deceptive side a couple of times all these years up until the last 6 months or so when she was emotional and frustrated but wasn't overly violent.

 

[cluciano63]

I am sorry for Kaine that Kyron is missing, but personally he gives me the creeps in major way.

I still wonder why Desiree was so compelled to see the back of this guy that she divorced him while pregnant.

 

[human]

We know quite a bit. That Desiree had a marriage that disintegrated after she got pregnant (even if extenuating circumstances made the pregnancy a last ditch effort to save the marriage....it happens.) It resulted in a child who elicited care and concern for friends and family, and a good friend (Terri) taking care of a lot of his needs early on. We know there was a RO attached to the breakup of this relationship with Kaine. We know at some point the situation changed and Desiree's health took a bad turn and Kaine got custody of Kyron. We know that at that time, Terri moved in to be in a position to take care of Kyron full time. We know that 3 years ago, Terri and Kaine decided to make it legal and married. We know that shortly after, baby K was born. We know that until Terri got pregnant, she was a decent person. We know that from that moment to this, Kaine at least in his head has associated pregnancy twice with the disintegration of his marriage. We know that at least twice, Kaine Horman has had the need of an RO, once as respondent, and now once as plaintiff. We know that at least twice, there was a parental separation of the small child to its mother (both Kyron and K have this in common).

We know a lot. What we don't know is whether that all has any bearing on Kyron's disappearance, and if so, how? And further, we have no idea that the stereotype that seems to be acceptable here (blaming women's problems) isn't even more indicative of what Terri might have been living with.......a man who cannot stand pregnant women. They are out there, and it is not only right and fair to speculate if Kaine is one of those types, but diligent. And further, what then would that environment do to erode Terri's state of mind and feeling of self-worth. If you think women can just shrug that off, you're wrong. When the man they care for thinks like that, it's permeating, right into a woman's soul.

IMO I don't think we know all of those things.

The marriage with Desi and Kaine was going to be over, but then she found out that she was pregnant and they made another go of it, but it didn't work out.

The marriage was over first, then the pregnancy. So they decided to try it out again.

Desi said that Terri was not her friend and she did not move in to help Desi. Desi says that she did not meet Terri until Kyron was 18 months old.

At about that time, Terri was into body building and that takes a lot of time.

Since Kyron was with Desi up until that time and Kaine had him for how many hours a week? we don't know what role Terri played in any of that.

When Desi got sick, Terri must have been into body building a lot of hours a day to achieve the body that she did. Raising a toddler may not have been in her long term plans.

Why Terri got pregnant is a question. Was it because she wanted a child, or was it because she wanted a child that was her's and Kaine's to cement the relationship. A lot of women think that way as we see so many women having children with different men, yet the men abandon them anyway.

 

[sorrell skye]

We know quite a bit. That Desiree had a marriage that disintegrated after she got pregnant (even if extenuating circumstances made the pregnancy a last ditch effort to save the marriage....it happens.) It resulted in a child who elicited care and concern for friends and family, and a good friend (Terri) taking care of a lot of his needs early on. We know there was a RO attached to the breakup of this relationship with Kaine. We know at some point the situation changed and Desiree's health took a bad turn and Kaine got custody of Kyron. We know that at that time, Terri moved in to be in a position to take care of Kyron full time. We know that 3 years ago, Terri and Kaine decided to make it legal and married. We know that shortly after, baby K was born. We know that until Terri got pregnant, she was a decent person. We know that from that moment to this, Kaine at least in his head has associated pregnancy twice with the disintegration of his marriage. We know that at least twice, Kaine Horman has had the need of an RO, once as respondent, and now once as plaintiff. We know that at least twice, there was a parental separation of the small child to its mother (both Kyron and K have this in common).

We know a lot. What we don't know is whether that all has any bearing on Kyron's disappearance, and if so, how? And further, we have no idea that the stereotype that seems to be acceptable here (blaming women's problems) isn't even more indicative of what Terri might have been living with.......a man who cannot stand pregnant women. They are out there, and it is not only right and fair to speculate if Kaine is one of those types, but diligent. And further, what then would that environment do to erode Terri's state of mind and feeling of self-worth. If you think women can just shrug that off, you're wrong. When the man they care for thinks like that, it's permeating, right into a woman's soul.

bbm

DY denied knowing TH before K was born. KH won't discuss the circumstances in which he came to know TH, except to say that it was "through friends" per his recent statement.

Aside from that, I agree wholeheartedly with your post, especially the bolded part. Over the past few weeks, as more info on the history of the family dynamics has been revealed, I've observed a pattern emerging. It is something I've been noticing, pondering, & discussing with friends as I've followed this case.

There has been mention of an elephant in the room. This is the elephant that I've personally noticed.

 

[human]

bbm

DY denied knowing TH before K was born. KH won't discuss the circumstances in which he came to know TH, except to say that it was "through friends" per his recent statement.

Aside from that, I agree wholeheartedly with your post, especially the bolded part. Over the past few weeks, as more info on the history of the family dynamics has been revealed, I've observed a pattern emerging. It is something I've been noticing, pondering, & discussing with friends as I've followed this case.

There has been mention of an elephant in the room. This is the elephant that I've personally noticed.

I do have to ask. How can you say he can't stand pregnant women?

The marriage with Desi was over, but she discovered that she was pregnant.

They tried to make a go of it because of that-she being pregnant. They didn't get divorced because she was pregnant. It wasn't working out before then.

 

[sorrell skye]

I do have to ask. How can you say he can't stand pregnant women?

The marriage with Desi was over, but she discovered that she was pregnant.

They tried to make a go of it because of that-she being pregnant. They didn't get divorced because she was pregnant. It wasn't working out before then.

I didn't say he can't stand pregnant women. Someone else expressed an opinion of the possibility of that scenario. I agreed that there are men who feel that way. Is KH one of them? IDK.

But I have observed (as have others) that he was involved in 2 marriages that seemed to disintegrate around the time of pregnancy/childbirth.

I had no opinion about it until he himself complained about the 2nd marriage experiencing problems after the birth of a child. That's when I began to wonder about the circumstances of the previous failed marriage, which also coincidentally occurred around the time of pregnancy/childbirth.

ETA: KH is the one who brought up the subject, and offered his perspective on the matter to the MSM, and as the result of his statements, it has since then become a topic of discussion.

 

[Justin Tyme]

I have seen photos online of them when Kyron was little up till the baby was a year old.I can see the change in her appearance and demeanor in the photos.She used to dress the whole family in Halloween outfits alike,holidays and birthdays decorated just as you'd expect a teacher to do.A nice tidy home and comparing pics to now she's changed.It's like looking at a different person,I really feel something major has happened with her in the last year or more.Even at the baby's one year birthday,there were kids Kyron's age,birthday bags and adult friends,it's really odd looking at her now and seeing this is the same woman.I don't understand it.

I noticed the same thing too in her appearance. She seemed to pick up some weight after the baby. If she were on antidepressants that could explain the extra weight...which in my opinion would make her more depressed especially since she was a body builder in the past. I was on antidepressants in the past and I became more depressed that I was before I started them due to the sudden weight gain. She does look quiet different from the pictures when the baby was younger and that wasn't that long ago.

 

[Melanie]

The only thing that makes me even consider TH's innocence is how fast and willing KH has been to throw her under the bus.

Frankly it kinda feels like a set up on his part. I can understand a person being gobsmacked by someone turning out to be a total liar, especially in regard to his child being missing. But at the end of the day I wonder about him as well. What kind of husband would be so willing to go to the press with his damage stories and throwing his supposed wife to the wolves like this.

It really comes across that he has an axe to grind and some sort of bitterness. He's much to cavalier in my opinion. You'd think he'd be gutted. Not giving PCs.

I've said it before that I appreciate all the information. But what I don't appreciate is why do all these PC's and NOT be out there searching for Kyron. No one knows what one would do in a similar situation, but I'll be darned if I wouldn't be walking the streets, posting flyers, contacting every agency I could think of. I don't know what Kaine is doing besides blaming the wife -- I'd like to see other actions out of him.....like searching.

It's almost as if he's given up. He has it SO set in his head (IMO) that the step-mom did it that he's just laid down and said oh well.

Talk, talk, talk, but get out there and do something for the innocent - KYRON.

MOO

Mel