Warning: Long Post! 
Hi Sidebar WSers!
I have held back posting much the last couple of days as I've been trying, TRYING to come to terms with all that has happened.....trying to make some sense of it all in my brain.
The last couple days I've been going back and reading (for the 3rd, 4th, 5th + time over the last 3 years) some of the Depos, some of the interviews....hoping I could find things/a tid-bit of information that would fill in the blanks, give me a little peace in my mind, help my heart and soul start to heal.
Unfortunately, I am still left with many more questions than answers.
Don't throw tomatoes at me, but I even went into "
Casey COULD be Innocent" mode.....EEEK!
I so badly wanted to learn more about the dynamics of the A-family so that I could...... well, not exactly 'justify' Casey's actions but so that I could TRY to understand those actions better.
During my reading of these depos and interviews I started to develop theories..... both pro and con about Casey.
I did more reading which allowed me to dispel a lot of those theories in my head quite easily.
One theory that has remained:
***Keep In Mind: I remember way back, almost three years ago, I made several posts....... I believed that all of Casey's actions (half-truths, stealing money, etc.) didn't just start to happen.
It's just that the A's were not about to talk about all the 'bad' stuff they had always covered up for her, for probably YEARS.
We the public would NEVER know how long Casey's BAD behavior had been going on.***
According to one of Lee's Depo/Interview he stated that while Still in High School, Casey stole one of this checks, wrote it out to herself and cashed it.
The check was for $200!
I don't know about you but in my world, $200 ain't a pittance.
It's not like Casey needed the money to rent her Cap and gown for graduation, or school ring, or even a year book (not sure about her having a yearbook).
So this tells me that
1. Casey was NOT the sweet, loving, caring Casey that poor Jesse believed her to be when he asked her to marry him.
2. Casey's half-truths, stealing, etc. started
long before Precious Caylee was born.
3. Casey's partying, etc. was just an extension of who Casey really was......her half-truths just kept progressing/escalating and ended with her heavy partying, sleeping around, drinking, etc.
In the same Depo/Interview, Lee listed most of Casey's boyfriends she had in high school.
One of the boyfriends, the name Lee couldn't remember.....not that it has any bearing on my thought.
In trying to make some sense in my own mind, in my heart, of Casey's actions, here's just one of the thoughts that keeps running around what little gray matter I have left:
We read about it all the time.
Lots of us might know someone.
Some of us here could have had it happen to us.
A rape. Never reported. Fear. Shame.
Hearing all the horrid stories about what it would be like on the witness stand if a woman did bring charges, keeps this horrible crime a deep secret for some victims.
The after-affects of a rape, especially if the victim keeps it a secret, manifests in SO MANY WAYS.
PSD also manifests similarly.
Combine the two and you have dynamite....all one needs is a match.
NOT that Precious Caylee is a result of rape (although we will probably never know).
But promiscuity after the rape could have led to a pregnancy, no?
Could Casey's personality have changed after a rape?
Like I said, I am just trying to make some sense of it all, even so far as to TRY to figure out what happened to Casey, maybe in her High School years, that could have brought all this on.
Now, please dissect this...... one of several theories I have in my head...... show me how come it doesn't make sense, show me why it doesn't fit, so that I can move on to something else.
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