Yes, I have sat with many Vietnam combat vets over the years. What it all boils down to is that if you weren't actually there, you don't know what it was like. And even some who were there could have been standing 50 yards away for another guy and not see something - like a woman reaching for a grenade to throw at them.
I know it sounds harsh, but many of our guys came home alive because they were taught to shoot first and ask questions later. As time went on during the war, that policy was recinded. And our troops paid an extremely high price for it, as the 50,000+ names on The Wall show us.
My prayers go out to all the combat vets, from that war and the current one. They will never, ever be the same.....never. It stays with them and changes them forever.