A Mother's Unconditional Love

[suspicious1]

I have 2 children and I love them with all my heart. As a parent I do have unconditional love for my kids but I also display TOUGH love. With tough love, you still have that unconditional love for your child, but you make it known that if they crossed the line, there will be consequences. Consequences, that as a family we would have to deal with no matter what. I will not cover for them or excuse their behavior if it is not right. I would not be blind to the facts but as a family we would handle the consequences together.

Although I have my own opinions, I cannnot begin to imagine what CA is going through. Through all her mess I really do feel sorry for her. Eventhough KC is being charged with Caylee's murder, KC is still her child. What would you do or say to protect your child?

 

[OneLostGrl]

I don't believe I could involve myself in a cover up during or after, but I would have a hard time turning my back on my son. It would be a much different relationship, that's for sure, but I would have to be there to love him and support him emotionally as much as I could without compromising my boundaries.

Absolutely! So would I! Nothing could make me stop loving my child, nothing!

 

[MvD]

I can totally understand the A's love and even support for Casey.. A mother's love IS unconditonal, or should be, in my opinion. I know I will ALWAYS love my adult son.. regardless of anything.
Thats not to say the A's cant love Casey, but HATE the actions she has committed. IMHO, I think they STILL hold out hope that somehow KC did NOT commit the murder of little Caylee.. its denial.. yes.. but probably the last teeny bit of hope they can hold onto.. I believe George's recent cry for help was his realization that even this last bit of hope was gone. They know they have lost Caylee, and they are desperate at the thought of essentially losing Casey too.
There have to be so many dynamics going on inside each of them..love, devotion, right , wrong, guilt.. anger.. second guessing everything.. I cannot even begin to imagine what all they must feel.. Just as George told LE.. he didnt WANT to think he raised, brought someone into this world that could do such a thing.. Im sure his logic tells him one thing... but his heart doesnt want to agree.. talk about inner turmoil. And then there is the guilt factor, which I think plays a huge part in the A's psyche... the what ifs and maybes must be hell to them..
Its easy for us (well me at least) to HATE Casey for what she has done.. but I didnt witness her birth.. I didnt stay up with her at night when she was sick or scared.. I didnt feed and care for her.. all those little things that deepen love and cement a parent's "uncondtional" love.
While I dont agree with the Anthonys' reactions and responses much of the time.. I can totally understand that they still love their daughter.. I do honestly believe they are still in a great deal of denial .. still holding onto that rapidly freying thread of hope that somehow their daughter isnt responsible for Caylee's demise. I suspect they have to hold onto that in order to stay sane for now.. Everyone has different ways of coping with tragedy.. JMO.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Peeps: I'm not saying I condone KC's actions... I'm just saying how I can understand how denial can work in the way of thinking correctly and showing their love for their child. I don't CONDONE that, but I UNDERSTAND that...

ITA. I understand Cindy's actions and mind-set as well.. I get what you mean! :blowkiss:

 

[OneLostGrl]

Exactly... my mother would choke the truth outta me, but I don't know if I would be as bold. I was saying earlier, I think my mom would un-love me, as that's her personality, and am thinking other personality types would be like me versus her, if Irish is different than Italian, if large families are different than small, etc.

I have brought this up before too but- my mom is the type who would cover and lie and destroy evidence for me.

 

[gibby207]

I have brought this up before too but- my mom is the type who would cover and lie and destroy evidence for me.

Really... not mine... She's a strong, crazy, loud, mean Irish woman and she wouldn't. Now, I wouldn't either OLG... But I understand where the A's come from.

Thanks for your posts OLG!! :blowkiss:

 

[Duckley]

I have six children of my own, one daughter-in-law and one gorgeous grandchild, and I love them all dearly and deeply. I would lay down my life for any one of them if it would allow theirs to go on, and they all know it.

They ALL know who I am and they all know who THEY are and they know what I will and will not accept. If you are dumb enough to rob a bank, don't call me and expect any sympathy. If you are dumb enough to drive drunk, then you deserve to spend the night in jail. If you are dumb enough to KILL your child? Don't even bother trying to make ANY excuses to me about it.

I would DIE for them in TRUTH and in HONESTY and in HONOR, but in murder and lies and deceipt? I would not do the same. That may sound hard and it may sound cold, but here are the facts: Life is hard. Life is not fair. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes we just break down. BUT-
when this happens, we do NOT react by murdering our children. We do not react by harming ourselves. We react by creating a solution from what appeared to be an unsolvable problem and we go on and we pick ourselves up and we continue down the road of trying to live and BE decent and BE honest and BE an upright citizen of planet earth.

I would love my child no matter what, but I would not CODDLE them in LIES and I certainly would not support them in the murder of my grandchild and they KNOW it. They know because they have been taught that you do not KILL anyone unless it is in self-defense or in the defense of your family or someone you love. If you are under attack and have no choice-defend yourself to the point of killing the other party if called for. There is no other excuse for murder, and there is no excuse for any mother who TRULY loves her child to support them the way that Casey has been. They could love the sinner without condoning the sin, but they cannot find this line. They have condoned her lies and her storytelling and allowed her to go on believing that's OK to do. It is NOT ok. Her daughter is dead and she is responsible and her mother who should love her most should also expect and extract the most from her.

One MAJOR component of LOVE is TRUTH, and that element is missing in all of this entire thing.

Amen. :clap:

 

[JBean]

I'd throw my kids under the bus in a heartbeat.

 

[JustJax]

You know, we can do the best we can by our children and try to teach them right from wrong, but there comes a point that that we have no control, try as we might, and we have to let go.

 

[MvD]

I have brought this up before too but- my mom is the type who would cover and lie and destroy evidence for me.

I tend to think my mom would too.. if she thought she would lose me to death sentence or life w/o parole. There's no way of knowing what she would really do... but I just know she would lay down and die rather than have me hurt.

When I was 35, I was diagnosed with glaucoma .. it frightened me at first.. and when I told my mom that I had it.. first thing out of her mouth "oh.. I wish I would have it instead of you" ..and SHE meant it with all her heart.. just one of many examples of the love she's always shown me.

 

[gibby207]

I'd throw my kids under the bus in a heartbeat.

My mom would, JBean.. LOL And in a mean way but in a "I taught you better" kinda way and "shame on our family" kinda way... I dunno if I would, I just dunno...

 

[radio]

I don't think God gave us our children
to throw under a bus or to throw in a
ditch or to throw in a swamp.

 

[suspicious1]

You know I was just thinking about my moms relationship with my brother and their unconditional love. My brother, just like KC, was always causing my parents grief and headache with his lying and misdemeanor acts. I know that my mother loves us both but for a long time now my brother has done more bad in his life than good. Each time he would get into trouble I could see a piece of my mothers heart being torn away. He hurt her so much in the past and my mother just didn't know what more to do for him but to love him. When my brother went to prison for burglary, that was it. My mother washed her hands of him and told me "I will let God deal with him". At first I thought that was so cruel for her to say that because that was still my baby brother. After his sentencing, my mother and I had a conversation and she pointed out to me that she had given all she had to him and that it was time for him to find his own way. He chose to do the things that he did and had hurt her long enough. She said she was "TIRED".
(His first year in prison my mother would not accept any phone calls from him but she made sure he had money on his books...tough love?)
So I guess that if you are raising a troubled child, at some point you may get TIRED. Tired of trying to keep them headed in the right direction. It's not that you don't love them, you just need them to be responsible and worthy of your love.

My mother (a God fearing woman) always told me "What's right is right and what's wrong is wrong." Family or not.

 

[magic-cat]

I'd throw my kids under the bus in a heartbeat.

I think it has been far too long since I told you how much I love you!:blowkiss:

 

[radio]

You know I was just thinking about my moms relationship with my brother and their unconditional love. My brother, just like KC, was always causing my parents grief and headache with his lying and misdemeanor acts. I know that my mother loves us both but for a long time now my brother has done more bad in his life than good. Each time he would get into trouble I could see a piece of my mothers heart being torn away. He hurt her so much in the past and my mother just didn't know what more to do for him but to love him. When my brother went to prison for burglary, that was it. My mother washed her hands of him and told me "I will let God deal with him". At first I thought that was so cruel for her to say that because that was still my baby brother. After his sentencing, my mother and I had a conversation and she pointed out to me that she had given all she had to him and that it was time for him to find his own way. He chose to do the things that he did and had hurt her long enough. She said she was "TIRED".
(His first year in prison my mother would not accept any phone calls from him but she made sure he had money on his books...tough love?)
So I guess that if you are raising a troubled child, at some point you may get TIRED. Tired of trying to keep them headed in the right direction. It's not that you don't love them, you just need them to be responsible and worthy of your love.

My mother (a God fearing woman) always told me "What's right is right and what's wrong is wrong." Family or not.

suspicious1

I can under stand that.
It is a good point to be made too!!

 

[radio]

I have six children of my own, one daughter-in-law and one gorgeous grandchild, and I love them all dearly and deeply. I would lay down my life for any one of them if it would allow theirs to go on, and they all know it.

They ALL know who I am and they all know who THEY are and they know what I will and will not accept. If you are dumb enough to rob a bank, don't call me and expect any sympathy. If you are dumb enough to drive drunk, then you deserve to spend the night in jail. If you are dumb enough to KILL your child? Don't even bother trying to make ANY excuses to me about it.

I would DIE for them in TRUTH and in HONESTY and in HONOR, but in murder and lies and deceipt? I would not do the same. That may sound hard and it may sound cold, but here are the facts: Life is hard. Life is not fair. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes we just break down. BUT-
when this happens, we do NOT react by murdering our children. We do not react by harming ourselves. We react by creating a solution from what appeared to be an unsolvable problem and we go on and we pick ourselves up and we continue down the road of trying to live and BE decent and BE honest and BE an upright citizen of planet earth.

I would love my child no matter what, but I would not CODDLE them in LIES and I certainly would not support them in the murder of my grandchild and they KNOW it. They know because they have been taught that you do not KILL anyone unless it is in self-defense or in the defense of your family or someone you love. If you are under attack and have no choice-defend yourself to the point of killing the other party if called for. There is no other excuse for murder, and there is no excuse for any mother who TRULY loves her child to support them the way that Casey has been. They could love the sinner without condoning the sin, but they cannot find this line. They have condoned her lies and her storytelling and allowed her to go on believing that's OK to do. It is NOT ok. Her daughter is dead and she is responsible and her mother who should love her most should also expect and extract the most from her.

One MAJOR component of LOVE is TRUTH, and that element is missing in all of this entire thing.

magic-cat,

I understand what you are saying.
In looking at opinions here, I think
maybe we all have some of everything
when it comes to our own children.
Bits and pieces here and there.

I certainly do not believe there is anything but
loving parents here!!!

 

[ebedeeb]

I have six children of my own, one daughter-in-law and one gorgeous grandchild, and I love them all dearly and deeply. I would lay down my life for any one of them if it would allow theirs to go on, and they all know it.

They ALL know who I am and they all know who THEY are and they know what I will and will not accept. If you are dumb enough to rob a bank, don't call me and expect any sympathy. If you are dumb enough to drive drunk, then you deserve to spend the night in jail. If you are dumb enough to KILL your child? Don't even bother trying to make ANY excuses to me about it.

I would DIE for them in TRUTH and in HONESTY and in HONOR, but in murder and lies and deceipt? I would not do the same. That may sound hard and it may sound cold, but here are the facts: Life is hard. Life is not fair. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes we just break down. BUT-
when this happens, we do NOT react by murdering our children. We do not react by harming ourselves. We react by creating a solution from what appeared to be an unsolvable problem and we go on and we pick ourselves up and we continue down the road of trying to live and BE decent and BE honest and BE an upright citizen of planet earth.

I would love my child no matter what, but I would not CODDLE them in LIES and I certainly would not support them in the murder of my grandchild and they KNOW it. They know because they have been taught that you do not KILL anyone unless it is in self-defense or in the defense of your family or someone you love. If you are under attack and have no choice-defend yourself to the point of killing the other party if called for. There is no other excuse for murder, and there is no excuse for any mother who TRULY loves her child to support them the way that Casey has been. They could love the sinner without condoning the sin, but they cannot find this line. They have condoned her lies and her storytelling and allowed her to go on believing that's OK to do. It is NOT ok. Her daughter is dead and she is responsible and her mother who should love her most should also expect and extract the most from her.

One MAJOR component of LOVE is TRUTH, and that element is missing in all of this entire thing.

Exceptional post....I have 6 kids and have trying to find the words regarding unconditional love, expectations of truth, and tolerance without sounding completely negligent on my part....you summed it up perfectly "Her daughter is dead and she is responsible and her mother who should love her most should also expect and extract the most from her." thank you

 

[JBean]

I don't think God gave us our children
to throw under a bus or to throw in a
ditch or to throw in a swamp.

God gave me my children so they could get the remote for when I am on the couch watching TV and I can't reach it.

Radio, I have 5 of the most gorgeous sons you have ever seen and they would do just about anything for me and I mean it. They are the light of my life and even as grown men they love me up and treat me like a queen. I would do ALMOST anything for them. If it was illegal or immoral I want no part of it. My kids know better than to even ask.
It would take a lot of persuading for me to even imagine they could be capable of murder. But if the evidence were in and I was satisfied they were guilty, I would do what was necessary to bring them to justice. But it would not be easy and I honestly have no clue how I would feel about them as people thinking they could kill a baby. The conflict is beyond anything I have experience in so it is way over my head.

 

[magic-cat]

magic-cat,

I understand what you are saying.
In looking at opinions here, I think
maybe we all have some of everything
when it comes to our own children.
Bits and pieces here and there.

I certainly do not believe there is anything but
loving parents here!!!

radio: I am sure you are right that this forum is overflowing to the brim with loving parents. I am not saying that anyone who disagree does not love their child. I am saying in my home, in my life, and in the lives of MY children, truth is a staple of LOVE. To US there is no love in lies, and truth is valued above all else.

For instance, in the same circumstance as Casey found herself in, assuming she "accidentally" killed Caylee, which I highly doubt, if one of my children did the same and they came to me immediately, they would have a far greater chance of counting on my "love" than if they waited and hid it from me and allowed it to turn into a monstrous lie. I would have convinced my child immediately that together we would go to the authorities and we would be honest about what happened and we would face those consequences together. This circus of lies would not fly with me and I would not enable it, support it, stand beside it or even around it. I firmly believe in truth and have instilled it into my children from an early age. If they tell me a lie, it is not long behind before I extract the truth out of them because knowing them as I do, I KNOW when they are lying 9 times out of 10, and honesty is rewarded and lies are forbidden. They know I hate lies and I hate liars above all else, because lies are one of the main tools of the darkness and they do not work the light of God. There has been far too much coddling and enabling of this particular liar-Casey, and it has always been in her mother's hands to do it another way. I would choose truth over lies, and believe the consequences for THAT would be far less severe than what has unraveled for Casey in this situation.

 

[radio]

God gave me my children so they could get the remote for when I am on the couch watching TV and I can't reach it.

Radio, I have 5 of the most gorgeous sons you have ever seen and they would do just about anything for me and I mean it. They are the light of my life and even as grown men they love me up and treat me like a queen. I would do ALMOST anything for them. If it was illegal or immoral I want no part of it. My kids know better than to even ask.
It would take a lot of persuading for me to even imagine they could be capable of murder. But if the evidence were in and I was satisfied they were guilty, I would do what was necessary to bring them to justice. But it would not be easy and I honestly have no clue how I would feel about them as people thinking they could kill a baby. The conflict is beyond anything I have experience in so it is way over my head.

JBean,

I know what you mean and meant.:crazy:
You of all peeps did not have to explain!!!