A pregnant man ?

[youshouldveknown]

I think it's unconventional. But it's not yucky or bizarre or disgusting. A transexual and a woman fell in love and wanted to have a baby. She could not. He could. What in the world is so wrong with that?

 

[MsPooh]

I think it's unconventional. But it's not yucky or bizarre or disgusting. A transexual and a woman fell in love and wanted to have a baby. She could not. He could. What in the world is so wrong with that?

This is the way that I look at it...JMHO...I am a woman that has been blessed with two children, I gave birth to them...my body carried them because it is equipped to do so, and God designed our bodies to help in this miracle. Now, we have Thomas..who was born a woman, but chose to become a man and LIVE as a man (which is absolutely great to me if that's what his/her heart and mind led her/him to do...I'm all for it). BUT chose to use the 1 part of a woman that he had left to birth a child. You cannot have it both ways and expect people not to be offended.
I have no problem at all with "unconventional" ways of becoming a family for gay,single, married or whatever.

okay fire away now, I'll hold up my shield...

 

[youshouldveknown]

I can see why you'd be offended as a woman - he's taking away something that makes women unique. I can respect that. I'm a woman too.

But put yourself in their position. All she's ever wanted was to have a baby with the husband she loves. A lot of women are like that. A baby made by the two of them, that have their genes and likenesses. But she couldn't concieve. Her husband, one of a handful of men, has the rare opportunity to carry a baby for her. He loves her and, although he has chosen to live life as a male, he agrees to carry the baby for her.

I can only hope that the man I fall in love with would love me enough to be so selfless and carry a baby for me.

 

[youshouldveknown]

Just wondering -- do you think they'll let the baby girl stay a baby girl? Or will they decide they would have rather had a boy, and change her sex to suit them?

And who do you know that's actually done this?

If a baby is born with both sex organs, they usually stay with the dominant organs and raise the child as such. If there are no dominant organs, the parents get the opportunity to decide. This is very rare. And it's been shown to cause problems when the child hits puberty (ie child realizes she was supposed to be a male)

Otherwise, transgender surgeries aren't performed on anyone under the age of 18 without parental and patient consent. No surgeon would ever ethically perform transgender surgeries on a baby or child.

I'm a little offended at the insinuation that transexuals only change their gender 'to suit them.' I have homosexual and transgender friends that I've known since childhood. I've seen the struggle my friends have gone through, and how happy they become when they decided to have sexual reassignment surgery.

And no, that doesn't mean my male transgender friends are going to have babies.

 

[Ezryder9]

And who do you know that's actually done this?

If a baby is born with both sex organs, they usually stay with the dominant organs and raise the child as such. If there are no dominant organs, the parents get the opportunity to decide. This is very rare. And it's been shown to cause problems when the child hits puberty (ie child realizes she was supposed to be a male)

Otherwise, transgender surgeries aren't performed on anyone under the age of 18 without parental and patient consent. No surgeon would ever ethically perform transgender surgeries on a baby or child.

I'm a little offended at the insinuation that transexuals only change their gender 'to suit them.' I have homosexual and transgender friends that I've known since childhood. I've seen the struggle my friends have gone through, and how happy they become when they decided to have sexual reassignment surgery.

And no, that doesn't mean my male transgender friends are going to have babies.

That statement was somewhat facetious. I am just, honestly, repulsed by this whole situation. Mind you, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with homosexuals or transgenders. I have friends who are homosexuals. Their sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with our friendship. Nothing. Just like someone's politics or religious beliefs or color or age doesn't factor into my decision as to who is or isn't my friend.

However, I believe this particular couple is flying in the face of the majority, composed of gays and straights. They seem to be intent on sensationalising their decisions. In my opinion, they are making a mockery of their transgender status. And again, I worry for the future of the child. How would you explain this to your child in the future?

And your statement that I emphasized, isn't that exactly what transgenders do?

 

[youshouldveknown]

They seem to be intent on sensationalising their decisions. In my opinion, they are making a mockery of their transgender status. And again, I worry for the future of the child. How would you explain this to your child in the future?

And your statement that I emphasized, isn't that exactly what transgenders do?

They're sensationalizing? I'm pretty sure it's the media who is sensationalizing. This family would be more than happy to go back to a normal life of bathtime, storytime, mealtime. What makes it so sensational is the media writing a story about a transgender and his decision to have a baby. People see headlines like 'MAN HAS BABY' and of course they want to read it. Is it really a man having a baby? Biologically, no. Therefore, what is so sensational about it?

And no, transgenders don't change their sex to suit themselves. They don't wake up one morning and go 'I want to be a dude.' Most transgenders live their whole life feeling like they are the opposite sex. There sex organs are wrong. Imagine yourself, as you are now, but with a penis and a strong attraction to women. It'd be strange, to say the least. They try to ignore it. They may dress and pick up traits of the opposite sex. But for some, ultimately, they were not born the person they were supposed to be. I can only imagine what it must be like.

It's not like changing your shoes because they don't go with your outfit. It's not like getting a face lift to stave off signs of aging. Transgenders feel like everyday is Freaky Friday and they're in someone else's body. I don't think that would be considered a change made to suit themselves.

 

[Ezryder9]

It's obvious we have differing opinions about this issue. I respect yours; I hope you respect mine.

Still and all, if they were not intent on sensationalism, they would not have gone to the media.

And still, I continue to have the belief that there are some places we should not tread, and sex changes and bringing children into that confusing environment, is one of those places. I still cannot fathom how a parent would ever explain how their dad is having his "time of the month."

 

[youshouldveknown]

It's obvious we have differing opinions about this issue. I respect yours; I hope you respect mine.

Still and all, if they were not intent on sensationalism, they would not have gone to the media.

And still, I continue to have the belief that there are some places we should not tread, and sex changes and bringing children into that confusing environment, is one of those places. I still cannot fathom how a parent would ever explain how their dad is having his "time of the month."

There's not a lot to explain. Daddy was born a girl. He went to the doctor to make him a boy. He decided he wanted to be your mommy. By the time the child is going through puberty, the child will understand that Dad used to be a woman. I don't know about you, but my father never pointed out my mother's menstrations. Also, transgenders take hormones, ceasing menses.

From what I understand, they didn't go to the media. The media came to them. Any number of people in the clinic office could have anonymously called the local news about this. Things leak.

 

[Ezryder9]

There's not a lot to explain. Daddy was born a girl. He went to the doctor to make him a boy. He decided he wanted to be your mommy. By the time the child is going through puberty, the child will understand that Dad used to be a woman. I don't know about you, but my father never pointed out my mother's menstrations. Also, transgenders take hormones, ceasing menses.

From what I understand, they didn't go to the media. The media came to them. Any number of people in the clinic office could have anonymously called the local news about this. Things leak.

I'm so sorry. I'm confused, and I'm wayyyyy past puberty! I can't get past the 'daddy was born a girl.' And I don't think it will take the child getting to puberty for the issue to arise.

 

[youshouldveknown]

I'm so sorry. I'm confused, and I'm wayyyyy past puberty! I can't get past the 'daddy was born a girl.' And I don't think it will take the child getting to puberty for the issue to arise.

You're right. It wouldn't. But right along with the 'boys have penises and girls have vaginas' conversation, you could say 'but some girls, like daddy, go to the doctor and the doctor makes a penis so he can be a boy.'

As long as you're honest, and you allow children to ask questions and answer honestly, there shouldn't be a problem.

When my friend's ex-husband died, her children were 7 and 10. I was there when both of them were born - they're like my own. I took them to get clothes to attend the funeral in. I said 'If you have any questions, I promise to answer them honestly.' Of course, the next question was 'What'll happen to the body now?' And yes, I was honest and I explained in so many words the embalming and decomposition process. And they handled it well. They weren't scared. They were curious.

 

[Ezryder9]

Well, I give. I've been reading this to my hubby, who was born with his own penis, by the way. His remark was 'that's sick.' I'm way too old to have to worry about any conversation along these lines! And I think I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

Peace.

 

[youshouldveknown]

Could it be 'sick' because it's not something he'd particularly choose? Or maybe he doesn't understand it?

I think transgendered individuals are brave. They're taking a leap of faith and permenantly altering their body in hopes that they will live a happier life. That's their own personal choice, but it doesn't give people the right to judge them and call them 'sick.' But that's neither here nor there.

 

[MsPooh]

You're right. It wouldn't. But right along with the 'boys have penises and girls have vaginas' conversation, you could say 'but some girls, like daddy, go to the doctor and the doctor makes a penis so he can be a boy.'

As long as you're honest, and you allow children to ask questions and answer honestly, there shouldn't be a problem.

When my friend's ex-husband died, her children were 7 and 10. I was there when both of them were born - they're like my own. I took them to get clothes to attend the funeral in. I said 'If you have any questions, I promise to answer them honestly.' Of course, the next question was 'What'll happen to the body now?' And yes, I was honest and I explained in so many words the embalming and decomposition process. And they handled it well. They weren't scared. They were curious.

My 2 kids are 12 and 15, we are a pretty liberal household..."whatever floats your boat" is what we have taught them about most types of life decisions....BUT like I said when this thread started..the previews for the Barbabra Walters special were airing and my 12 year old son just happened to be watching (not too much of an introduction was given on what they were about to show) this scene pops up of what APPEARS to be a man in stirrups about to give birth...he has a freaking beard!!!...My son's eyes were huge! He says to me "Mom, how is the baby going to come out of HIM???" So ummm..I really tried to explain what was happening here...really I did! He gave me a few minutes before hightailing it outside. Again, I'm not saying they are bad people or whatever...but seriously. And about the death process, you did great...however that is a normal part of life.

 

[MsPooh]

Could it be 'sick' because it's not something he'd particularly choose? Or maybe he doesn't understand it?

I think transgendered individuals are brave. They're taking a leap of faith and permenantly altering their body in hopes that they will live a happier life. That's their own personal choice, but it doesn't give people the right to judge them and call them 'sick.' But that's neither here nor there.

Exactly my point in all of this hoohah...she wanted to be happier, and inside she was happier a he...so she became a he for the MOST part..still choosing to have the option of giving birth one day..so is he who was a she really happy?

 

[Linda7NJ]

I think it's unconventional. But it's not yucky or bizarre or disgusting. A transexual and a woman fell in love and wanted to have a baby. She could not. He could. What in the world is so wrong with that?

It's wrong because while he may legally be a man, he isn't. If that's how they create their family, more power to them. Just don't jam it down my throat that a "man" had a baby!

 

[SeriouslySearching]

It's wrong because while he may legally be a man, he isn't. If that's how they create their family, more power to them. Just don't jam it down my throat that a "man" had a baby!

I have to agree with you there! Until a born male with a natural penis gives birth...no "man" is having a baby, had a baby, or ever will have a baby, imo.

 

[youshouldveknown]

My 2 kids are 12 and 15, we are a pretty liberal household..."whatever floats your boat" is what we have taught them about most types of life decisions....BUT like I said when this thread started..the previews for the Barbabra Walters special were airing and my 12 year old son just happened to be watching (not too much of an introduction was given on what they were about to show) this scene pops up of what APPEARS to be a man in stirrups about to give birth...he has a freaking beard!!!...My son's eyes were huge! He says to me "Mom, how is the baby going to come out of HIM???" So ummm..I really tried to explain what was happening here...really I did! He gave me a few minutes before hightailing it outside. Again, I'm not saying they are bad people or whatever...but seriously. And about the death process, you did great...however that is a normal part of life.

I think you did a good job explaining it in that situation. Under the circumstances (seeing a dude with a beard in stirrups giving birth) I'd be a little shocked too, seeing as it's technically biologically impossible for a man to bear children. I suppose I'm an advocate of curiosity. If you don't know something or something seems confusing or impossible, look it up, ask questions, but don't belittle and insult the situation by just saying 'that's sick, it's so gross, I can't believe he's doing that.' It's not helpful to anyone. But like I said, bravo to you for explaining it the best you could to your son.

Exactly my point in all of this hoohah...she wanted to be happier, and inside she was happier a he...so she became a he for the MOST part..still choosing to have the option of giving birth one day..so is he who was a she really happy?

She becomes a he through surgical organ reassignment and hormone therapy. They didn't perform a hysterectomy because 1) hormones can be regulated through medications now, and 2) it would be a pointless procedure only putting the patient at more risk for infections. Have you ever gone to your physician and said 'I'd like you to remove my spleen because I don't want to ever need it or use it.' ? Of course not. So he never THOUGHT he'd have a baby. That was a sacrifice he made. Only now, his wife can't conceive. There's something medical preventing her to bear a child. And he remembers 'Hey, I still have that uterus... before we consider adoption, why not try that?' To me, this is an amazing act of love. Even though he doesn't WANT to, he loves his wife so much that he'll undo years of hormone therapy that have made him who he's always felt he was, and have a child for her. I think ultimately, THAT is what makes him happy.

It's wrong because while he may legally be a man, he isn't. If that's how they create their family, more power to them. Just don't jam it down my throat that a "man" had a baby

You're right. Biologically he is a woman. No one is denying that. This whole 'Man having a baby' thing is a product of media sensationalism. I'm curious, though. What if, instead of a person having a female to male sexual reassignment surgery on his own free will, this were a child born with both sex organs. He was born with both a penis and urterus? Because the penis is the outward sex organ, he was raised as a he and no one felt the need to perform a hysterectomy on the child? He's given hormone therapy for his whole life so that he can live as a man. And this man, knowing full well he was born with a uterus, is put into the same position. He concieves and delivers via cesarean. How does this differ?

And by the way, no one is shoving anything down anyone's throats. You choose to read the headlines, watch TV and read this thread. Other than that, blame the media. Not the couple who are creating a family.

 

[PattyCake]

It's disgusting and I stand by my opinion. They are doing this for the money.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

A Hermaphrodite or Intersexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermaphrodite) is not considered to be a male or female. This isn't what the issue is here and has nothing to do with this woman having a baby, imo.

 

[capoly]

Could it be 'sick' because it's not something he'd particularly choose? Or maybe he doesn't understand it?

I think transgendered individuals are brave. They're taking a leap of faith and permenantly altering their body in hopes that they will live a happier life. That's their own personal choice, but it doesn't give people the right to judge them and call them 'sick.' But that's neither here nor there.

(my bold)

His body was not permenantly altered. That is what's at issue here.

It's legallycorrect for him to say he is a man having a baby. It's not physiologically correct for him to say he is a male having a baby.

Re pubilicity.....he obviously agreed to go on Oprah's show. So even if initially news people sought him out, he chose to remain in the limelight. Oprah is about as limey as one can get.

As long as a situation is not abusive (IMO this one is not), I don't give a flying fig what sex a person is, what sex they want to be or what sex their having sex with. Same applies to religion and race. That fig went flying the first time I risked my own life for an unknown life.

But I do give a fig about reality. Distorting reality for personal accommodation accompanied with an egocentric expectation of public acceptance seems to be the in-thing these days. The invasive arrogance of it is what forces others to make judgement calls.

I wish the family well. But my reality/judgement call is that I'm not going to lie to my sons, grandsons etc etc for Mr. Beatie's sake. Females have babies.....Males do not.