Allison Baden-Clay - GENERAL DISCUSSION THREAD #42

[LadyBird1]

Yes so true CofF -what Allison needed to do for homework and not necessarily her absolute feelings. Such an accurate statement for us all to consider!

It was her homework after all to reframe her situation in terms that the counsellor had laid out.

I wonder what GBC's homework was? Did we see his diary and his pledge of dedication to the relationship to keep his family in tact?

Bingo! His pledge of dedication to the relationship!
Bingo and loud bells! Thank-you Liaden.

 

[CaseClosed]

Bit of a difference between being depressed and being sad. Or even staring in the face of that which is ugly.

Yes, it is different, but I think that she could have been depressed too. She had given up a lot for him, and he really didn't give her the attention she deserved. She may have also regretted marrying him, but now she had 3 children to think of and had to put on a brave face and soldier on. I guess my feeling is that she was depressed, but I didn't know her.

 

[CaseClosed]

Have been in the exact situation myself.... Same type of narcissistic, cheating husband, mental abuse , the works...but had to keep it together for my child. Guess that's why I'm so drawn to this sad story....

Sorry to hear that, Ippygal! I know that when there are children involved, we make very different decision than if we had no kids. I am drawn to it because I am sick of man doing this sort of stuff to women! I am tired of man thinking they own us and can dispose of us whenever they please, etc.

 

[BreakingNews]

That is exactly why I couldn't practice as a criminal lawyer. I like my sleep!

Yes, but Alioop, you are unique and ethical. And I am so happy that you like to be able to sleep. Thanks for your valued posts here.

 

[BreakingNews]

Yes, it is different, but I think that she could have been depressed too. She had given up a lot for him, and he really didn't give her the attention she deserved. She may have also regretted marrying him, but now she had 3 children to think of and had to put on a brave face and soldier on. I guess my feeling is that she was depressed, but I didn't know her.

Depression is a common illness these days and no one should be judged by it. Golly, if I was in Allison's situation, I would have been depressed big time.

There are two types of depression - reactive - where you get depressed because of a situation eg loss of some type, death, divorce, partner having affair etc and then there is clinical depression where it does not seem to stem from anything in particular. I have had clinical depression on and off for nearly 40 years. Zoloft keeps me alive. However most of my friend would have no idea about this side of my life.

It is so understandable if Allison had reactive depression.

 

[Ippygal]

Sorry to hear that, Ippygal! I know that when there are children involved, we make very different decision than if we had no kids. I am drawn to it because I am sick of man doing this sort of stuff to women! I am tired of man thinking they own us and can dispose of us whenever they please, etc.

Couldn't agree with you more!! thankfully mine up and left 8 years ago, I've never been happier!

 

[redlightthroughpaper]

I wonder if the borrowing of the phone owned by ex-minister BF that GBC was using after ABC went missing could be how GBC's parents supported his covert contact with TM?

at 1:18 http://au.news.yahoo.com/video/quee...eceab93/court-documents-open-baden-clay-case/

 

[they'll get you]

Alioop. The diary IS personal. It IS so very telling. It IS embarrassing.
But the bottom line is this, the author is dead.
It is also the story of a lovely lady who was married to a Malignant Narcissistic Psychopath. IMO.
Don't think even the lady herself recognized that. (Thought she should have been able to manage situation.)
I have the feeling there are posters here, and/ or on the other site who can empathize with the diary author, and her traits.
Her need to clam up. Put up and shut up. Too personal. Don't want to expose this vulgarity; when in reality she has brought this on herself, by her choice of wrong partner in life.
Her perceived need to look on the brighter side of life.
Her ability to stay positive and stay focused.
Her need for her marriage to be successful at all costs. (Didn't realize that when the marriage book said; when a marriage is about give and take, it might have meant, she would have to give, he would expect to take.... Everything.)
Her constant re-evaluation of life's priorities. She would need to be very flexible; to accommodate his ever changing needs.
Her supposed ability to change course. OK. Accept his weaknesses, his supposed requirement for an extra marital affair. What's next best thing? Maybe try and enjoy some of the enjoyments he is enjoying with the latest "affair"? "How was the movie dear?"
There are so very many women today, and in the past, (and will be I suppose in the future), who have to deal with this precise exact same stuff.
They in their innocence and I expect naievity, have no idea of the dangers of these sorts of men, or of the methods and means by which they are capable.
Allison Baden Clay of Queensland Australia, may yet be able to speak, yet she is dead. She may be able to alert other ladies just like herself, to look out, to be aware, avoid if possible these types; if not, to escape the situation if possible
Realize there can be a new life. Realize that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Some women have escaped, have been survivors, and are even now able to post on sites such as this with true understanding and empathy.

your words hit home, beautifully written, thank you

 

[Curiousasacat]

I found it so hard to read Allison's diary in the MSM. Its about as personal as you can get. Her family must not be impressed with it being published.

I couldn't read it either really, I felt like it was too personal. That one line that I'm sure you know what I'm talking about was horrible and so sad that he said that to her, the fact they published that was really awful : )

Don't get me wrong though, I'm sure it provides some great insight into Allison's life but imagine her horror if she knew how many people have had access to her diary.

 

[Fuskier]

Today I was reading a SAfrican online newspaper and saw this and thought it was so topical with regards to Allison's diary.
It is worth a read.
http://www.health24.com/Mental-Health/Disorders/6-tactics-used-to-control-women-20120721

Thanks for this link Zim.
The title includes: HEATH24, 12 Feb 2013, Home > Mental health > Disorders,
6 Tactics Used To Control Women: "Domestic abuse often escalates from verbal abuse to violence. Recognising that your situation is abusive is the first step to freeing yourself". (Zaakirah Rossier, Health24, November 2010)
Well worth a read and share with anyone you know who may possibly be experiencing similar.

 

[Fuskier]

I wonder if the borrowing of the phone owned by ex-minister BF that GBC was using after ABC went missing could be how GBC's parents supported his covert contact with TM?

at 1:18 http://au.news.yahoo.com/video/quee...eceab93/court-documents-open-baden-clay-case/

Thanks Redlightthroughpaper.
This MSM information is reported by Geoff Breusch. IMO the video is well worth watching. Ah, WOW! This video report states:

"... after Allison Baden-Clay disappeared, Gerard Baden-Clay was lent a phone by Bruce Flegg - without the then Minister's knowledge.
It is interesting that reporters question the relationship between Mr. Bruce Flegg and GBC especialy since it is alleged that Mr. Bruce Flegg suggested to GBC that he could stay at his home after Allison disappeared. Reports also alleged that GBC asked Mr. Bruce Flegg about surveillance cameras at the Kenmore Mogill Road roundabout. This roundabout sure is interesting both to GBC and QPolice. Maybe we will hear more at the upcoming Commital hearing.

The video also states:
Quote: "...and a friend of Mr. Flegg's was asked by Gerard Baden-Clay's father what the Government could do to protect his son..."Unquote.
So Nigel Baden-Clay asked a friend of the then Government Minister, Mr. Bruce Flegg, for Government protection for his son? One wonders what this may have been about especially given that the possibility of 'interfering with witnesses' was a factor in the refusal of Bail applications. Interesting.

My speculation and opinion only.

 

[Couldbe]

Thanks Redlightthroughpaper.
This MSM information is reported by Geoff Breusch. IMO the video is well worth watching. Ah, WOW! This video report states:

"... after Allison Baden-Clay disappeared, Gerard Baden-Clay was lent a phone by Bruce Flegg - without the then Minister's knowledge.
It is interesting that reporters question the relationship between Mr. Bruce Flegg and GBC especialy since it is alleged that Mr. Bruce Flegg suggested to GBC that he could stay at his home after Allison disappeared. Reports also alleged that GBC asked Mr. Bruce Flegg about surveillance cameras at the Kenmore Mogill Road roundabout. This roundabout sure is interesting both to GBC and QPolice. Maybe we will hear more at the upcoming Commital hearing.

The video also states:
Quote: "...and a friend of Mr. Flegg's was asked by Gerard Baden-Clay's father what the Government could do to protect his son..."Unquote.
So Nigel Baden-Clay asked a friend of the then Government Minister, Mr. Bruce Flegg, for Government protection for his son? One wonders what this may have been about especially given that the possibility of 'interfering with witnessness' was a factor in the refusal of Bail applications. Interesting.

My speculation and opinion only.

Dr Bruce Flegg would have had an opinion about the scratches! Talking to GBC before Allison's body was found, he would surely have formed an 'opinion' about GBC's involvement too. He must surely would like the perpetrator to receive justice for the murder of Allison. JMO

 

[BreakingNews]

Yes so true CofF -what Allison needed to do for homework and not necessarily her absolute feelings. Such an accurate statement for us all to consider!

It was her homework after all to reframe her situation in terms that the counsellor had laid out.

I wonder what GBC's homework was? Did we see his diary and his pledge of dedication to the relationship to keep his family in tact?

Ah, yes. Homework. That explains why Allison would have written S-I-L rather than her name.

 

[Tishy]

Alioop. The diary IS personal. It IS so very telling. It IS embarrassing.
But the bottom line is this, the author is dead.
It is also the story of a lovely lady who was married to a Malignant Narcissistic Psychopath. IMO.
Don't think even the lady herself recognized that. (Thought she should have been able to manage situation.)
I have the feeling there are posters here, and/ or on the other site who can empathize with the diary author, and her traits.
Her need to clam up. Put up and shut up. Too personal. Don't want to expose this vulgarity; when in reality she has brought this on herself, by her choice of wrong partner in life.
Her perceived need to look on the brighter side of life.
Her ability to stay positive and stay focused.
Her need for her marriage to be successful at all costs. (Didn't realize that when the marriage book said; when a marriage is about give and take, it might have meant, she would have to give, he would expect to take.... Everything.)
Her constant re-evaluation of life's priorities. She would need to be very flexible; to accommodate his ever changing needs.
Her supposed ability to change course. OK. Accept his weaknesses, his supposed requirement for an extra marital affair. What's next best thing? Maybe try and enjoy some of the enjoyments he is enjoying with the latest "affair"? "How was the movie dear?"
There are so very many women today, and in the past, (and will be I suppose in the future), who have to deal with this precise exact same stuff.
They in their innocence and I expect naievity, have no idea of the dangers of these sorts of men, or of the methods and means by which they are capable.
Allison Baden Clay of Queensland Australia, may yet be able to speak, yet she is dead. She may be able to alert other ladies just like herself, to look out, to be aware, avoid if possible these types; if not, to escape the situation if possible
Realize there can be a new life. Realize that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Some women have escaped, have been survivors, and are even now able to post on sites such as this with true understanding and empathy.

Truly well-said, LB.
Clearly you have walked that painful path too.
There but for the grace of god, go you, or I or many of our sisters here whose mere survival is a personal triumph. We must teach our girls self-respect to withstand these malignant parasites, and give them tools to appraise and identify and avoid those who would break their hearts, self-respect and bodies.

 

[Aunty]

I wonder if the borrowing of the phone owned by ex-minister BF that GBC was using after ABC went missing could be how GBC's parents supported his covert contact with TM?

at 1:18 http://au.news.yahoo.com/video/quee...eceab93/court-documents-open-baden-clay-case/

I just read in that video, in Allisons diary notes, the name of the counsellor who was helping Allison. She has an interesting background. I am not going to name her, but I expect that her affidavit , will be extremely interesting . :rocker:

 

[Oz Jen]

I just read in that video, in Allisons diary notes, the name of the counsellor who was helping Allison. She has an interesting background. I am not going to name her, but I expect that her affidavit , will be extremely interesting . :rocker:

I agree with you Aunty. Also interesting are some people a Defence Counsel has represented, who I also won't name.

 

[alioop]

Have just caught up on posts since I posted that I have trouble reading Allison's diary as it is such a personal thing. I was just saying how I personally felt. As it is now public, it is available for anyone to read and talk about as it is part of this case that we are sleuthing and I certainly don't have a problem with that because that is why we are here.

 

[Curiousasacat]

I just read in that video, in Allisons diary notes, the name of the counsellor who was helping Allison. She has an interesting background. I am not going to name her, but I expect that her affidavit , will be extremely interesting . :rocker:

Hi Aunty, not sure if the name you saw is the therapist? Isn't this the person from pathways who Allison worked with?

 

[alioop]

Yes, but Alioop, you are unique and ethical. And I am so happy that you like to be able to sleep. Thanks for your valued posts here.

BN, that is very kind of you and whilst I think I am ethical, I don't consider myself unique in that respect. The majority of lawyers I know are good ethical people. I am grateful for those lawyers that choose to do criminal law because I think it would be hard to represent people who you think are guilty and even be in their presence. I couldn't do it. To do their job properly in the way our legal system works that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, they can't ask if their client is guilty. That is how it has to work to ensure they can give the person proper legal advice on their legal rights.

 

[LadyBird1]

Have just caught up on posts since I posted that I have trouble reading Allison's diary as it is such a personal thing. I was just saying how I personally felt. As it is now public, it is available for anyone to read and talk about as it is part of this case that we are sleuthing and I certainly don't have a problem with that because that is why we are here.

The diary IMO is written evidence of just what sort of person this husband was. And probably still is.
I wish a person professional in this field of psychiatry could be called in here.
I am not referring to depression. Reference to Malignant Psychopathy.
Examine Allison's writing, create a picture of what she was living with.
Better still, visit the accused and give him the Narcissistic Psychopathic tests.
Would also explain why the accused is "innocent", and is defending the charges vigorously.