Assault on a bike?!!!!!!!

[missacorah]

A WEIRDO was caught having sex with a BICYCLE by two cleaners.
The women had walked in on Robert Stewart in his hostel room, a court heard.
Gail Davidson, prosecuting, said: “They observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. He was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth.”
But when Stewart, 51, noticed cleaners Alice Craig and Donna Clark, he calmly asked “What is it, hen?” – then carried on.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article470592.ece

 

[GlitchWizard]

Sounds like he was just horsing around to mess with the cleaners. I think it's funny. Then again, I'm an idiot.

 

[angelmom]

Okay, first of all, he was in his own room. So why is it a breach of the peace.

Second, why does he need to be added to the sex offender registry? Are other bikes at risk? Should he be questioned if bikes are missing? Maybe he should be forbidden from living or working less than 1000 feet from a bike rack. And getting biking magazines, looking at bike websites, or hanging around with people who have bikes.

This guy is weird, but WTF???

 

[GlitchWizard]

Okay, first of all, he was in his own room. So why is it a breach of the peace.

Second, why does he need to be added to the sex offender registry? Are other bikes at risk? Should he be questioned if bikes are missing? Maybe he should be forbidden from living or working less than 1000 feet from a bike rack. And getting biking magazines, looking at bike websites, or hanging around with people who have bikes.

This guy is weird, but WTF???

It would save people money on lubing the bikes, anyway. Consider him the maintenance man.

 

[gman20001969]

Okay, first of all, he was in his own room. So why is it a breach of the peace.

Second, why does he need to be added to the sex offender registry? Are other bikes at risk? Should he be questioned if bikes are missing? Maybe he should be forbidden from living or working less than 1000 feet from a bike rack. And getting biking magazines, looking at bike websites, or hanging around with people who have bikes.

This guy is weird, but WTF???

FUNNY! :laugh:

 

[angelmom]

It would save people money on lubing the bikes, anyway. Consider him the maintenance man.

EWWWWWWW!!!

I was eating a sandwich with mayo when I read this post.

I have to go and :sick: now.

 

[GlitchWizard]

EWWWWWWW!!!

I was eating a sandwich with mayo when I read this post.

I have to go and :sick: now.

....I meant like KY jelly or baby oil.... but yours is funnier!

 

[kahskye]

If he has a thing for bikes, or maybe a bike fetish, so be it. I'll just have to remind my dd not to leave hers out front unattended. He might be partial to purple. Seriously, I'd rather have him assault a bike than an innocent child or animal.

 

[shwa]

Just wondering if it was a girl's or boy's bike?

All kidding aside, i think that he has abit of a fantasy life or quite a wild imagination, but there was no harm done.

 

[Jules]

.... but there was no harm done.

Not unless the bike turns up pregnant.

 

[csds703]

How do you have sex with a bike?????

Never mind...

 

[MeoW333]

Where on the bike would he... i can't fathom this..

 

[angelmom]

How do you have sex with a bike?????

Never mind...

Where on the bike would he... i can't fathom this..

Try not to think about it. You'll only ruin your lunch.

 

[missacorah]

Lol your comments about this have really made me smile this morning. The bit I found amusing was when he just casually asked the cleaner what was up as if he was doing the most normal thing in the world lol.

 

[Filly]

Hey, as long as he wasn't wearing a furry Panda Bear costume while getting it on with his bike and nobody was harmed well go for it. I guess. You guys are funny.

 

[nappy2]

This is the funnest story I ever heard of !