Baseball coach falsely accused of harming a child

[Cappuccino]

He sounds like a right genius. Rule 1 for those who wish to be a criminal mastermind - don't leave incriminating messages on someone's voice mail. That's popularly known as evidence.

 

[JeannaT]

At this point, Duchess, it seems to me this nut should be charged with making a threat. It certainly seems credible - he said exactly what he was going to do, and when.

He sounds truly dangerous to me. Over time people usually diffuse, and the anger dissipates if more fuel isn't thrown on the fire - and this guy is clearly escalating his anger.

I hope all goes well tonight and somehow this man is able to unwind.

 

[TheDuchess]

At this point, Duchess, it seems to me this nut should be charged with making a threat. It certainly seems credible - he said exactly what he was going to do, and when.

He sounds truly dangerous to me. Over time people usually diffuse, and the anger dissipates if more fuel isn't thrown on the fire - and this guy is clearly escalating his anger.

I hope all goes well tonight and somehow this man is able to unwind.

OK-quick update-

Officer stationed at game and no incidents.
Kid's crazy dad (we'll call him "Cal") acted like he was running for mayor-giving out hugs, handshakes and back pats to everyone and anyone-made me sick to my stomach
Cal tried waving to me while I was on the phone and I glared at him and shook my head "no."
Cal tried shaking my husband's hand who refused-told him he didn't want to talk to him and when Cal persisted DH said "just behave yourself, ok?" Cal got mad and said "what did I do???" DH simply walked away.
After game, Cal came up to DH after coach and cop has left and asked why DH told him to behave. DH said he didn't want to talk to him. Cal persisted and said "I'm not the one manhandling other people's kids."

I jumped in then and said "The coach didn't manhandle your child."
Cal says "Are you calling me a liar?" I said "Yes-I am." He said "well I was there" and I said "has he been arrested, charged?" Cal said "not yet." I said-"then you shouldn't go around smearing a man's good name without any proof. He isn't going to be arrested and you need to let this go and move on. I see what you are trying to do and I won't fall for it."

He started to get mad and I stopped him and said "look...you're the one with the record of 7 arrests for battery...I googled you and it wasn't hard to find your mug shots online...so why don't you just let this go and move on for everyone's sake." He was left speechless.

It was one of the proudest moments of my life. Just hope it doesn't bit me in the keester.....

 

[katydid23]

OK-quick update-

Officer stationed at game and no incidents.
Kid's crazy dad (we'll call him "Cal") acted like he was running for mayor-giving out hugs, handshakes and back pats to everyone and anyone-made me sick to my stomach
Cal tried waving to me while I was on the phone and I glared at him and shook my head "no."
Cal tried shaking my husband's hand who refused-told him he didn't want to talk to him and when Cal persisted DH said "just behave yourself, ok?" Cal got mad and said "what did I do???" DH simply walked away.
After game, Cal came up to DH after coach and cop has left and asked why DH told him to behave. DH said he didn't want to talk to him. Cal persisted and said "I'm not the one manhandling other people's kids."

I jumped in then and said "The coach didn't manhandle your child."
Cal says "Are you calling me a liar?" I said "Yes-I am." He said "well I was there" and I said "has he been arrested, charged?" Cal said "not yet." I said-"then you shouldn't go around smearing a man's good name without any proof. He isn't going to be arrested and you need to let this go and move on. I see what you are trying to do and I won't fall for it."

He started to get mad and I stopped him and said "look...you're the one with the record of 7 arrests for battery...I googled you and it wasn't hard to find your mug shots online...so why don't you just let this go and move on for everyone's sake." He was left speechless.

It was one of the proudest moments of my life. Just hope it doesn't bit me in the keester.....

GREAT JOB. Sleuthing came in handy and it shut him up..for now. :great:

 

[nothingnew]

OK-quick update-

Officer stationed at game and no incidents.
Kid's crazy dad (we'll call him "Cal") acted like he was running for mayor-giving out hugs, handshakes and back pats to everyone and anyone-made me sick to my stomach
Cal tried waving to me while I was on the phone and I glared at him and shook my head "no."
Cal tried shaking my husband's hand who refused-told him he didn't want to talk to him and when Cal persisted DH said "just behave yourself, ok?" Cal got mad and said "what did I do???" DH simply walked away.
After game, Cal came up to DH after coach and cop has left and asked why DH told him to behave. DH said he didn't want to talk to him. Cal persisted and said "I'm not the one manhandling other people's kids."

I jumped in then and said "The coach didn't manhandle your child."
Cal says "Are you calling me a liar?" I said "Yes-I am." He said "well I was there" and I said "has he been arrested, charged?" Cal said "not yet." I said-"then you shouldn't go around smearing a man's good name without any proof. He isn't going to be arrested and you need to let this go and move on. I see what you are trying to do and I won't fall for it."

He started to get mad and I stopped him and said "look...you're the one with the record of 7 arrests for battery...I googled you and it wasn't hard to find your mug shots online...so why don't you just let this go and move on for everyone's sake." He was left speechless.

It was one of the proudest moments of my life. Just hope it doesn't bit me in the keester.....

I don't know if I would be able to hold my tongue either but please be mindful of the fact that as "cal" becomes more aggitated the son still has to go home with him and deal with that mess.

 

[TheDuchess]

I don't know if I would be able to hold my tongue either but please be mindful of the fact that as "cal" becomes more aggitated the son still has to go home with him and deal with that mess.

I know...I feel so bad for the little boy. And it also makes me wonder why the little boy was so overly freaked out about what many who witnessed describes was a very innocent touch on the shoulder.

Someone really needs to be checking out that situation.

Thanks for all the support guys...and yes...sleuthing really has helped me out a lot...I knew I could use my powers for good!

 

[HMSHood]

I know...I feel so bad for the little boy. And it also makes me wonder why the little boy was so overly freaked out about what many who witnessed describes was a very innocent touch on the shoulder.

Someone really needs to be checking out that situation.

Thanks for all the support guys...and yes...sleuthing really has helped me out a lot...I knew I could use my powers for good!

That whole thing is disturbing.

 

[JeannaT]

Duchess, if he's been arrested that many times for assault, it's highly likely he's currently on probation.

If I were you, I'd go to the probation office (or criminal court house) of the most recent arrest, and take his name and birthdate (I'm sure it's on one of the mugshots) and ask for the resolution of the case. i think it's public information. You may have to pay a small search fee.

At this point, he's really escalating further. Had he come to the game kind of angry, this wouldn't be as big a concern. As it is, now he's devised a grand plan, which is a great escalation from lamely calling someone and leaving a threatening message. Hope your friend kept the message, though.

At this point, this guy has a focus - to bring down this coach, and he's putting a great deal of energy into a fairly long term goal.

You need to know who his probation officer is, and let him know if this doesn't stop NOW.

Best wishes. What a complete loose cannon.

 

[TheDuchess]

Duchess, if he's been arrested that many times for assault, it's highly likely he's currently on probation.

If I were you, I'd go to the probation office (or criminal court house) of the most recent arrest, and take his name and birthdate (I'm sure it's on one of the mugshots) and ask for the resolution of the case. i think it's public information. You may have to pay a small search fee.

At this point, he's really escalating further. Had he come to the game kind of angry, this wouldn't be as big a concern. As it is, now he's devised a grand plan, which is a great escalation from lamely calling someone and leaving a threatening message. Hope your friend kept the message, though.

At this point, this guy has a focus - to bring down this coach, and he's putting a great deal of energy into a fairly long term goal.

You need to know who his probation officer is, and let him know if this doesn't stop NOW.

Best wishes. What a complete loose cannon.

Thanks. So OK... a little update...first of all, his arrests were from a long time ago in another state, so I doubt he's on probation. Plus, he has custody of the boy, who has a different last name. I am dying to know the situation because all I have been told is that there is "no mom."

Apparently, he withdrew his kid from the travel team, the team that this supposedly started with. He showed up at their practice last night and tried getting people to sign affiavits he had with him. He told people they could either sign it right then and there or through subpeona!!! So I guess he is going after the club now and perhaps even the coach with a law suit. No one agreed to sign the papers. One guy rolled up his car window and told him to go away and he kept knocking on the guy's window. Another couple politely asked him to just leave them alone.

The head of the leagues wife asked him nicely to leave the field and please hand out the papers in the parking lot, but then he blew up at her yelling it was a public place and started screaming at the head of the league and at the poor coach he has this vendetta against.

I spoke with the wife of the coach who will be choosing his 8 year all star team tonight and warned her about this guy. She said her husband was already told to steer clear of the kid. I don't know if he can keep him off the team (he's really a good player) but he sure needs to be careful to never come close to touching this kid.

I don't know what this man thinks he can accomplish. He's already pulled him out of a good travel team where the kid has lots of friends. No other travel team will take this kid now and the little league is fed up with his antics now.

Oh...and I guess they all went to Dairy Queen after the game the other night and he was running his mouth off about me. Funny that he thinks everyone loves him, but they come to me and tell me everything he says. Hahahahaha!!!

The saga continues...before I know it, I may just have a link to provide...

 

[JeannaT]

Duchess, you really don't want to get in the middle of this. If this guy decides to file a civil suit, all it will take is one attorney who doesn't really have enough business right now to keep him busy, and it's game on. I'm not just talking in vague generalities - it's happened to me.

His use of the word "subpoena" indicates to me, he's lining his ducks up. And don't think he won't be able to find some lawyer who isn't busy right now to take this case.

Here he is, this single dad who has taken on this son who is not his own. The kid is talented, a great soccer player, and now because he was roughed up by the coach, and the dad tried to defend him, he's now been kicked off the teams he seriously loved and thrived in. He has nightmares every night, he's lost all his friends, he's riddled with anxiety and cries out he doesn't want to play soccer anymore although it was going to be his scholarship to college.

See how it can look?

Duchess, I know you're in the absolute right, but walk away from this before someone knocks on your door and serves you with a lawsuit. It's awful.

It's nuts.

 

[Cappuccino]

Gotta agree with this advice ^. If he can put his son up to make false allegations against the coach, he can do the same to you.

 

[TheDuchess]

Thanks for the advice guys. Hopefully, I am not really in a position one way or the other to be involved really-I don't really know his son, nor him really, and am not in any way a member of any boards or coaching staffs, etc... I just wish someone who he trusts can sit him down and explain to him that he isn't doing his son any good here and this will end badly for the kid. But I see what you guys mean about how I could be next. Who knows what this crackpot will do next.

 

[BethInAK]

Sure, he can get a little bit heated once in a while, like any coach does, but to actually harm a child? And in front of a crowd of people, no less?

I just want to say that this is bad practice. A coach should not yell at or intimidate kids.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

I think I would want to know more about the child and his relationship to him. It seems odd to me..

I came from the generation where coaches told us to " Get our rears in gear.."

I don't think coaches should be abusive but I don't see that here. I think there is something really hinky about this guy.

I wonder if the child had an injury before that day and when the coach moved him by the shoulders, that is why he yelled.. I wonder if that "dad" knew about that injury and so used that incident to cover any injury that may be there...

KWIM?

Just thoughts.. not accusing..

I think that I would call the police and tell them this guy is intimidating people. Pressuring people. There is a line where that becomes a crime also.

 

[LadyL]

re: the child's different last name ... it might be as simple as when he was born, the parents were not married (or even together) and the mother's last name was listed on the birth certificate and then she disappeared or died or is in prison or whatever and so the father now has custody

this father does sound like he might have rage & impulse control issues but I also think the coach should've apologized sincerely whether he thought he did something wrong or not, to both the child and the father

sometimes it doesn't take much to hurt a child and men have stronger hands then they realize (my husband has grabbed me by the arm or shoulder & not realized his own strength and actually left bruises) it might be a fleeting pain but it does happen and witnesses can't really assess how it felt to the child

I think the father has obviously blown it way out of proportion but the coach has to realize sometimes it's about perception and not reality and tone it down a notch in the future IMO