Bullies in schools = Suicides

[txsvicki]

The only ones who've ever bullied my grandkids at school are teachers and bus aides. But, I'd like to know why, if teachers catch every thing else kids do, why don't they catch bullying? I read so much about kids being arrested, threatened, and suspended for other things but never bullying. So many people complain of bullying and how nothing is done about it. What do these teachers do, turn a deaf ear or just ignore it. Are they the "nicer", smarter, or richer kids doing it. If we don't homeschool we have to send our kids there or go to jail. It's up to the schools to catch it and do something about it if parents won't. I think there's a federal law that any child can get a transfer if they are bullied. People need to demand this and enforce it. If enough kids demand transfers maybe the schools will punish bullies like they do toddlers and ill or learning disabled children.

 

[twirlygirl]

To say bullying has not changed...is in my opinion not entirely true. I remember when I was kid all we worried about were fights, sticks, and stones kind of thing. But now it's a whole different ball park. We have to have worry about the escalated violence that has been occurring like knives, guns, and even bombs. Holy cow sorry to say but I don't remember that in my days. My daughter who is in elementary school gets a bomb threat at least once every other month. It's scary to say the least. IMO it most certainly has gotten worse. More so than a lot of us care to admit.

P.S. I do not live in a ghetto area either. My neighborhood is considered to be a good area.

My opinion nothing else...

 

[shadowraiths]

I agree with those who proffer that bullying is an age old problem. As for solving it? I think parents, teachers, and even the community at large, play a crucial role in addressing this. That being said, some thoughts off the top of my head about proactively addressing this.

1. For one, we need to lose that old, yet very wrong "sticks and stones" idiom. Words can and do hurt.

2. Hold parents whose children engage in bullying accountable.

3. Hold school personnel who ignore bullying behavior accountable.

4. Devise age appropriate consequences for bullying behavior.

5. Change the way recess is handled by devising structured play that is designed to teach children both respect and conflict resolution.

6. Provide community programs for lock-key children so that they are not left to entertain themselves.

7. Provide community outreach programs to assist victims of bullying... so that they and their families have alternatives for dealing with emotional pain. This one, by the way is tough, bc there is a very fine line between being supportive and catastrophizing the situation. The latter, which may make things an order of magnitude worse and even play a role in suicidal ideation.

8. Above all, the family, the school, and society at large needs to come together to teach through both words and modeling, the meaning of mutual respect and valuing differences.

 

[travelgal]

I agree with those who proffer that bullying is an age old problem. As for solving it? I think parents, teachers, and even the community at large, play a crucial role in addressing this. That being said, some thoughts off the top of my head about proactively addressing this.

1. For one, we need to lose that old, yet very wrong "sticks and stones" idiom. Words can and do hurt.

2. Hold parents whose children engage in bullying accountable.

3. Hold school personnel who ignore bullying behavior accountable.

4. Devise age appropriate consequences for bullying behavior.

5. Change the way recess is handled by devising structured play that is designed to teach children both respect and conflict resolution.

6. Provide community programs for lock-key children so that they are not left to entertain themselves.

7. Provide community outreach programs to assist victims of bullying... so that they and their families have alternatives for dealing with emotional pain. This one, by the way is tough, bc there is a very fine line between being supportive and catastrophizing the situation. The latter, which may make things an order of magnitude worse and even play a role in suicidal ideation.

8. Above all, the family, the school, and society at large needs to come together to teach through both words and modeling, the meaning of mutual respect and valuing differences.

:clap::clap::clap::clap:
Great suggestions, Shadowraiths! I totally agree that it requires a very carefully orchestrated team effort to deal with these problems. I spoke with an old friend from my teaching days and he said that he is spending some of his retirement time assisting in conflict resolution in grades 4-6. He said it has been going pretty well since they started it in Oct, '08. He is a former football coach and speech & language instructor and he is now trying to recruit some of his
retired cronies from the athletic programs. I mention this since it seems to fit in very well with your suggestions.

 

[travelgal]

True story:
We have a young man in foster care in our home, he is 16 and has been in care most of his life. At one of his recent placements he was kicked by a horse and broke his hip, the hip did not heal properly and has left him with one leg about 5 inches shorter the the other. He's a tall lanky kiddo, good lookin' and has a heart the size of Texas but he has had some very serious anger issues over the years...lot's of anger built up in him. Well just a few weeks ago a kid at school (known bully) was taunting him horribly and had been for several days prior. Making fun of his limp, challenging him to a race, calling him names and then it finally happened...the kid shoved him and knocked him off balance and back a foot or two...within a split second the bully kid didn't know what hit him...my tall, lanky, good lookin' kiddo busted the bully right in the nose. Now I don't condone violence but in this case I actually felt a sense of vindication for my kiddo and all the other kiddo's that have had to tolerate "bully kids" behavior throughout the year.
yes, my kiddo was placed in Alternative School for 3 weeks but all in all I think he got the better end of the deal. I'm told by school staff that there was a silent wave of "atta boy" for my tall, lanky, good lookin' kiddo who still has a bit of an anger issue but was fully able to control himself this time and not beat the "punk bully boy" to a pulp, which surely would have happened had this incident taken place a year ago.

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: Here's a great big atta boy from me to your kiddo. My son is profoundly deaf and he had to pound the tar out of a few bullies in his day. (He is now 42 yrs old). I don't condone fighting either but I also think that there are some occasions that just call for it. Once my son decked a kid in the lunch room when he was in the 8th grade. The principal called my hubby & I in and in front of my son explained that he would be suspended from school for 1 day. After my son left the office, the principal said every teacher and and many of the students said a collective "YES!" when my son decked the bully. They said he (bully) had been pushing my son for weeks by making fun of his speech and his hearing aid. The principal said he hated to have to suspend my son but rules were rules. We agreed. Sometimes you just have to take it into your own hands. I hope things have improved for your foster son and he has gained some empowerment to deal with bullying.

Thanks for sharing! :blowkiss: