CA - 13 victims, ages 2 to 29, shackled in home by parents, Perris, 15 Jan 2018 #6

[rsd1200]

My guess is most of them will eventually be on SSI. I would expect long term physical and mental issues for them.

I agree, on both points. I don't think they could qualify for social security disability since they have never worked.

 

[gitana1]

My son whom I’ve spoke about briefly in other posts is 22. He struggles with alcoholism and drug addiction that stemmed from a traumatic car accident (well introduced drugs into his life) already struggled with addictions prior to. Anyhow. He is healthy for the most part when not actively using. He does have a traumatic brain injury still. You would never know just by looking or even talking to him unless you really are looking for it.
We are putting him (on his wishes) in an assisted living after he comes home from inpatient treatment. ( fingers crossed) he wants to learn how to be “normal” as he puts it. Just wants help with simple things like grocery shopping. Helping choose school course and jobs. As well ensuring he is properly talking his medications and spending is money wisely. I just sadly don’t have the time to do this having to work. I was pretty shocked he even suggested it and didn’t even know we had places in town. I figured would all be seniors and such. It seems like a great way to get re-introduced to society. I know our victims and my son have very different circumstances but I see this as a positive. I did let out a mini gasp and my heart sunk when I read it but I feel ok now. Jmo.


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So we all think of old folks homes. But I think you're talking about a form of group home? With medical care? Is that right?

 

[LostOldUserName]

Just speculation, but maybe the older adults (I still want to call them kids) are relived to have a little space. **** I am not suggesting they want to be away permanently from their siblings or that they don't love their siblings.

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[gitana1]

It's even sadder that the children are being split up into 2 foster homes. But I'm sure those who are making these decisions are doing what's best for them---even if it's sad to us.

Yeah someone on here pointed out the dysfunctional dynamics a family this disturbed may have going on. It may actually be better for them to be split up. At least for awhile.

 

[LostOldUserName]

So we all think of old folks homes. But I think you're talking about a form of group home? With medical care? Is that right?

I know in the Midwest assisted living can include apartment type living but with access to services like therapy, physical and mental, help with activities of daily living, and medicine etc.

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[gitana1]

Just speculation, but maybe the older adults (I still want to call them kids) are relived to have a little space. **** I am not suggesting they want to be away permanently from their siblings or that they don't love their siblings.

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Right. They must have had all sorts of roles in the family they had no choice about. Like caretaker. Or most neglected. Or scapegoat. All those dysfunctional roles that people can get stuck in. Now they may have a chance on just concentrating on themselves and healing without being forced to caretake or assume certain roles as they did. Maybe this will allow them to break free from whatever identity they were forced into. I'm probably not explaining well.

 

[rsd1200]

Not that I said "at this time." I actually said it twice. I fully support the idea of the parents getting the stories from the children, as well as having a relationship with them in the future. In fact, I think it's necessary for everyone's healing. But I don't think it's a good idea now, not while the children are still being interviewed and investigators are still putting the story together. I wasn't the only person to make this comment, or to say something similar. I understand Rocket's frustration with putting words in people's mouths and their original meanings being twisted.

I have to agree. I do think that if the grandparents want to visit, in the future, it might be good, and healing, for everyone. In the future. Letting them know if the grandparents have called, would be nice too. However, realistically they are 80 years old. Unless they are very fit 80 year old folks, I doubt that there will be a steady stream of airline flights to Cali from WV. From all indications, the kids had little contact with their other family members. So they'd be starting off anew. They hardly know each other. I think it should be gradual.

 

[LostOldUserName]

Right. They must have had all sorts of roles in the family they had no choice about. Like caretaker. Or most neglected. Or scapegoat. All those dysfunctional roles that people can get stuck in. Now they may have a chance on just concentrating on themselves and healing without being forced to caretake or assume certain roles as they did. Maybe this will allow them to break free from whatever identity you they were forced into. I'm probably not explaining well.

Thanks you explained it much better ! Maybe they need a break

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[rsd1200]

An accident. I've read that women's can have a supernova ending just before menopause, when the years of declining fertility has one last flare up before finally fading and dying. Or women can relax the contraception too early because they assume they're no longer fertile.

I mentioned earlier one of our neighbours who had this happen in her late 40s. The husband was an engineer of some sort working out in the Gulf. The plan was for them to migrate to Australia when his contract was up, but on one of his last home leaves the wife got pregnant. Because of her age the baby had Down Syndrome so the husband abandoned his family and went straight to Australia on his own when his contract ended and never returned. At the time, Australia did not allow immigration by anyone with a disability.

I've got friends who were late in life, Oops babies, and it was like being raised by their grandparents. They got away with murder!

What a jerk your neighbor's husband was!

 

[sar2them1984]

Can somebody explain what assisted living consists of? When i first read it i immediately thought it was the equivalent to our supported living over here in the UK. I've managed a few supported living schemes and thought it would be a marvellous idea for the adults and in taking their first steps to normality.

Over here Supported living schemes consist of a house or unit where individuals can be supported to learn the necessary skills for daily living - help with meal planning, cooking skills, managing personal hygiene, cleaning, travel training, budgetting etc. Individuals have their own rooms for private space and communal areas. Staff are on hand the majority of the time if not 24/7 and service users have designated 1:1 time for focussed suppirt on areas identified in their individual care plans. In addition other professionals such as counsellors, medical professionals etc can readily come in amd work with the individuals as requested.

Normally supported living is the second step in becoming independent. The first being residential care (where people are unable to undertake any independent living themselves or have very veru few skills) and the last step being outreach where individuals move in to their own accommodation and recieve a set amount of hours support each week to work on the few areas they may still have trouble with.

If assisted living in the US is in any way similar i think its a great idea. It shows hope that the older children have some skills or the capacity to learn the skills required needed for living independntly at some point in the future and enables them to learn these skills in a safe environement with dedicated support tailored to their individual needs

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[DakotaMayi]

REVEALED: 'House of Horrors' children will NOT be allowed to stay together as the youngest six are split up and placed in two foster homes and their seven adult siblings are sent to a special care facility

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...rrors-children-not-allowed-live-together.html

We knew this was coming but this just breaks my heart.

 

[Meryl12]

Right. They must have had all sorts of roles in the family they had no choice about. Like caretaker. Or most neglected. Or scapegoat. All those dysfunctional roles that people can get stuck in. Now they may have a chance on just concentrating on themselves and healing without being forced to caretake or assume certain roles as they did. Maybe this will allow them to break free from whatever identity they were forced into. I'm probably not explaining well.

You have explained this perfectly. I had similar thoughts, their life as captives would force certain roles on them, and they needed each other when free. However, eventually, they need to develop their own characters. They needed each other at first, and staying in constant contact is better than being kept in their captive roles.

 

[DakotaMayi]

Can somebody explain what assisted living consists of? When i first read it i immediately thought it was the equivalent to our supported living over here in the UK. I've managed a few supported living schemes and thought it would be a marvellous idea for the adults and in taking their first steps to normality.

Over here Supported living schemes consist of a house or unit where individuals can be supported to learn the necessary skills for daily living - help with meal planning, cooking skills, managing personal hygiene, cleaning, travel training, budgetting etc. Individuals have their own rooms for private space and communal areas. Staff are on hand the majority of the time if not 24/7 and service users have designated 1:1 time for focussed suppirt on areas identified in their individual care plans. In addition other professionals such as counsellors, medical professionals etc can readily come in amd work with the individuals as requested.

Normally supported living is the second step in becoming independent. The first being residential care (where people are unable to undertake any independent living themselves or have very veru few skills) and the last step being outreach where individuals move in to their own accommodation and recieve a set amount of hours support each week to work on the few areas they may still have trouble with.

If assisted living in the US is in any way similar i think its a great idea. It shows hope that the older children have some skills or the capacity to learn the skills required needed for living independntly at some point in the future and enables them to learn these skills in a safe environement with dedicated support tailored to their individual needs

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Hi sar2them1984, I think Leila explains it well. They will have access to services also. (Medical) It's similar, if not the same, to what you described in England... from my limited understanding of AL anyway.

I wonder if this is a temporary solution? I realize that with 13 individuals it would be difficult to find a place that would accommodate all of them on an immediate basis. But, I hope that in the future, something can be found that will accommodate all.

One thing about assisted living facilities for the adult children that's good is that a typical assisted living apartment has a bedroom, bath, small sitting area with television, and a kitchen with small refrig. microwave, sink, and dining area. Most of the assisted living facilities have a common dining room where breakfast, lunch, and dinner are served. There's usually larger rooms that can accommodate a family for a visit. I can see that as a place where minor children can be brought to visit with the adult children on a regular basis. We have relatives in one local assisted living facility that's more like an nice hotel. So, on a temporary basis, an assisted living facility is a good place. The adult children are under the watchful eye of medical professionals.

 

[sar2them1984]

Hi sar2them1984, I think Leila explains it well. They will have access to services also. (Medical) It's similar, if not the same, to what you described in England... from my limited understanding of AL anyway.

Thanks for that. My tapatalk is playing up today so i missed that post.

I honestly believe its the right way forward. At some point in the future i imagine the adults will want to be as "normal" and as independent as possible and this can be a solid foundation to that.

I think fostering for the younger ones works because they are still at the ages where a family like situation and surrounding will guide and shape their adult lives but i dont believe it works so well for older people.

I have a friend who fosters and provides emergency placements and when talking to her about this she stated that placements work so much better when they are younger as they are more adaptable and particularly crave a stable family environment. I'm not saying the adult ones don't crave that and i certainly hope theu have the opportunity to sustain their relationships with their siblings in a normal emvironment but one has to balance that with the fact that by all accounts they are adults and as such if they have any chance of living a balanced adult life they need to have the opportunity to learn these skills, gain their own independence and find themselves something which i think many foster families would struggle to be able to facilitate given their ages

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[kkdj]

I'm still seeing kidnapping here since all of the adult children were held against their will or their will had been stripped from them. It's kidnapped victims in my book! And they took their kidnapped adult victims across state lines which makes it federal.

 

[Lilibet]

Hi sar2them1984, I think Leila explains it well. They will have access to services also. (Medical) It's similar, if not the same, to what you described in England... from my limited understanding of AL anyway.

Actually, assisted living is more care/help-oriented as Leila described than training-oriented as Sar2them described. It’s a big step above a hospital and nursing home, but is not independent living. We look out for a good friend who moved from independent living to AL last year, so I know the ropes.

I think it’s a great way to introduce them to living in society while still providing for their needs. Facilities vary, so I hope it’s one that is well run and will respect their privacy (no leaking info and photos to the paying press by staff or other residents). Once they are stronger and ready, the training can start, either by outside facilitators while they live in AL or in a different setting.

Although I’m sorry the younger ones won’t be together, it would be a logistical nightmare. I am confident that the foster homes have been carefully chosen to tend to their needs and they will thrive. As others have said, I think it’s very important for the adult children to have the opportunity to become independent individuals and not be put in a caregiving role with their younger siblings. They need to be able to spread their wings and fly as far and in whatever direction they want.
JMO

 

[KaaBoom]

I'm still seeing kidnapping here since all of the adult children were held against their will or their will had been stripped from them. It's kidnapped victims in my book! And they took their kidnapped adult victims across state lines which makes it federal.

They were charged with false imprisonment. They didn't kidnap the children and take them anywhere. It needs the right charge for the right circumstances.

 

[sar2them1984]

Actually, assisted living is more care/help-oriented as Leila described than training-oriented as Sar2them described. It’s a big step above a hospital and nursing home, but is not independent living. We look out for a good friend who moved from independent living to AL last year, so I know the ropes.

I think it’s a great way to introduce them to living in society while still providing for their needs. Facilities vary, so I hope it’s one that is well run and will respect their privacy (no leaking info and photos to the paying press by staff or other residents). Once they are stronger and ready, the training can start, either by outside facilitators while they live in AL or in a different setting.

Although I’m sorry the younger ones won’t be together, it would be a logistical nightmare. I am confident that the foster homes have been carefully chosen to tend to their needs and they will thrive. As others have said, I think it’s very important for the adult children to have the opportunity to become independent individuals and not be put in a caregiving role with their younger siblings. They need to be able to spread their wings and fly as far and in whatever direction they want.
JMO

Ahh ok. So do you have anything similar to the equivalent of our supported living?

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[DakotaMayi]

Actually, assisted living is more care/help-oriented as Leila described than training-oriented as Sar2them described. It’s a big step above a hospital and nursing home, but is not independent living. We look out for a good friend who moved from independent living to AL last year, so I know the ropes.

I think it’s a great way to introduce them to living in society while still providing for their needs. Facilities vary, so I hope it’s one that is well run and will respect their privacy (no leaking info and photos to the paying press by staff or other residents). Once they are stronger and ready, the training can start, either by outside facilitators while they live in AL or in a different setting.

Although I’m sorry the younger ones won’t be together, it would be a logistical nightmare. I am confident that the foster homes have been carefully chosen to tend to their needs and they will thrive. As others have said, I think it’s very important for the adult children to have the opportunity to become independent individuals and not be put in a caregiving role with their younger siblings. They need to be able to spread their wings and fly as far and in whatever direction they want.
JMO

Thanks Lilibet. I have very limited knowledge of assisted living to be able to comment but it sounds as if the set up (having their own rooms, communal areas for visits, dining etc, medical professionals on hand etc) are similar while the processes may be different.

It breaks my heart to think of them asking to not be split up and then they are, but you are right, it is what is best for them. I hope they can all stay as a unit and be close with regular visits etc.

 

[Lilibet]

Ahh ok. So do you have anything similar to the equivalent of our supported living?

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I’m not as familiar with that, but my guess would be what we call a “group home.” In this case they could all be in one house with a small staff to give them the training in handling a budget, planning and cooking meals, cleaning, planning their future goals, etc. Some of that could be started in AL, but the actual hands on training would require a home IMO.