CA CA - Barbara Thomas, 69, from Bullhead City AZ, disappeared in Mojave desert, 12 July 2019 #9

[MassGuy]

People do weird things during times of extreme stress, or don’t do things they should. Some people freeze or shut down. It’s hard to judge someone’s actions we don’t know. He could have been in shock, and just not thinking or acting right.
We don’t know.

Amateur opinion and speculation

That’s why we judge his actions by the actions of others who have gone through a “kidnapping,” as he characterized it.

Even then, it makes absolutely no sense.

 

[Kapua]

BTW, according to our VI, post #855 on thread 5, BT dropped her dog off at the kennel at 8:10 AM.

 

[al66pine]

Was RT Interviewed/Interrogated for 5 Hrs in Squad Vehicle the First Day?

.... At RT’s age being questioned for 5 hours in a car along with the stress of BT missing would be a bit overwhelming and also might explain why he didn’t contact BT’s family for a few days.

@oceanstarryeyes Thanks for your post. sbm bbm Respectfully, I doubt he was actually questioned that long the first day. I imagine he told LE (his version of) what happened; LE asked some follow up questions, then he was 'put' in LE car w a/c, to keep him cool/cool him down. Then LE got on w the search. Maybe had more follow up questions now and then first day. jmo, could be wrong.

 

[Tripod]

Thinking of Barbara tonight, as I do daily. I appreciate all of you here for keeping this thread going so well,when there's little info to start with and nothing new to add. Prayers for her family!

 

[rosesfromangels]

Was RT Interviewed/Interrogated for 5 Hrs in Squad Vehicle the First Day?

@oceanstarryeyes Thanks for your post. sbm bbm Respectfully, I doubt he was actually questioned that long the first day. I imagine he told LE (his version of) what happened; LE asked some follow up questions, then he was 'put' in LE car w a/c, to keep him cool/cool him down. Then LE got on w the search. Maybe had more follow up questions now and then first day. jmo, could be wrong.

This is an important point.
The husband’s demeanor, and what he said in those initial hours are critical to resolving this.

IMO

 

[k-mac]

Or maybe they assumed LE already called. Or maybe RT didn't know he had given them the wrong number until notified they notified him?
It can be pretty hectic the first week or so when a tragedy occurs.
Did any of his relatives call? They probably did not know the number either.
Which two of his relatives were said to be Barbara's best friends? His neice and his sister?
Was it his niece who posted her for awhile? It would be nice to hear from her too.

its all guess work and benefit of doubt though isn't it at the end of the day.

another possibility is deliberately giving LE the slip. a woops wrong digit here or there making sure the person you are avoiding is...well still being avoided.

moo

 

[k-mac]

I think RT not personally contacting BT’s son would be very normal (considering that BT and her sons contact was through email on the computer, I’m assuming BT’s Son didn’t approve of RT for some reason) so why would RT put himself in a position to possibly have to defend himself when talking to BT’s son when LE could call and inform him.

yes I think there was a deliberate omission from barbs son because of bad blood between them.
however how do you come to the conclusion that barbs son didn't approve of RT?
from the accumulative info we have been chewing over imo it more likely RT didn't approve of barbs son.
its all speculative either way.

 

[al66pine]

What Close is 'Close' and How Often is 'Often'?

Family suspects foul play in disappearance of Bullhead City woman
"My mother and I were close. ... (We) spoke on the phone often (and) she loved my children, [NAME REDACTED],13, and [NAME REDACTED], 11.

@PommyMommy Thanks for your post w the quote and link. I don'r know how you come up w them so quickly every time, but we're glad you do.
Rhetorically ---
'Close?'
IF BT's & son's estrangement lasted for years, could it have started w BT's marriage to RT?
Did son not 'care for' RT? Or did RT not 'care for' son?
Or started yrs before marriage?
Or started a year or two ago, lasted a few or several months?
And patched up only recently?
'Often?'
Multiple times daily?
Daily?
Couple x /wk?
Monthly?
Did they typically talk for 2 min? 20 min? 60 min?
What did they talk about?

Close. Often. Very subjective.
Even w answers to ^ questions, what do these ^ factors tell us how close BT & son are/were?
Regardless, I'm glad for them and others in their fam, that they did reconnect.

 

[k-mac]

What Close is 'Close' and How Often is 'Often'?

@PommyMommy Thanks for your post w the quote and link. I don'r know how you come up w them so quickly every time, but we're glad you do.
Rhetorically ---
'Close?'
IF BT's & son's estrangement lasted for years, could it have started w BT's marriage to RT?
Did son not 'care for' RT? Or did RT not 'care for' son?
Or started yrs before marriage?
Or started a year or two ago, lasted a few or several months?
And patched up only recently?
'Often?'
Multiple times daily?
Daily?
Couple x /wk?
Monthly?
Did they typically talk for 2 min? 20 min? 60 min?
What did they talk about?

Close. Often. Very subjective.
Even w answers to ^ questions, what do these ^ factors tell us how close BT & son are/were?
Regardless, I'm glad for them and others in their fam, that they did reconnect.

close enough that he felt he should be in the loop that his mother was missing imo
and rightly so no matter what...no excuses or justifications on this point for me.

moo

 

[HongKongPhooey]

Our behaviors as individuals are viewed through the lens of societal norms.
There IS such a thing as "normative behavior."
Not notifying her immediate family members of BT's disappearance under extremely dire circumstances is definitely not normative behavior.

The way we can tell it's not normative behavior, is by most of this group's reaction to it.

I haven't heard a single person here say, "No notification? No problem!" with respect to RT's failure to inform BT's son that his mom vanished in the middle of the desert, in the middle of the day, in the middle of summer.

He didn't tell BT's son the day she went missing.
He didn't tell her son the following day that she went missing.
He didn't tell her son the day after that.
Or the next day.
Or the next day.
Or the next day.
Or the next day.

Basically and bluntly stated, RT didn't bother to inform her son that his mom was most likely dead.

That's not normative behavior.
It's atypical behavior.
It's abnormal behavior.

Abnormal behavior stands out.
It gets noticed.
As evidenced by the fact that it jumped out at so many people here on this forum.

JMO.

Such a good post and resonates across all threads. Just some have less extremes of behaviour to react to.

 

[HongKongPhooey]

I think you would be a v cold fish not to contact your stepson, or arrange for him to be contacted, urgently. As another poster said (apologies can't find your post now), what if Matt had contact from Barb?

Equally, why didn't LE prioritise contacting Matt for the same reason? Did they either not know he exists (bizarre, did someone deliberately delay this?) Or not think it was likely she made contact because they doubted from the start she was alive to do so?

You can cancel a flight (and possibly get your refund) but you cannot give a man the opportunity to join searches for his mother?

That's a warped way of doing things to me.

JMO

 

[MassGuy]

I think you would be a v cold fish not to contact your stepson, or arrange for him to be contacted, urgently. As another poster said (apologies can't find your post now), what if Matt had contact from Barb?

Equally, why didn't LE prioritise contacting Matt for the same reason? Did they either not know he exists (bizarre, did someone deliberately delay this?) Or not think it was likely she made contact because they doubted from the start she was alive to do so?

You can cancel a flight (and possibly get your refund) but you cannot give a man the opportunity to join searches for his mother?

That's a warped way of doing things to me.

JMO

I guess there really wasn’t any reason to contact her son at the time.

I think initially, they took Rob’s story at face value. If that was the case, it would have been his responsibility to contact her family.

She was missing, law enforcement was searching, and her husband was her next of kin.

Now, if they believed foul play from the beginning (which I don’t believe to be the case), then it would have been a huge oversight not to make this contact.

This falls on his shoulders.

 

[Catmommy]

This is ultimately and only my opinion (whose else would it be) but I don't think that the story of how this lady went missing is true. What I do know, though, is that people have been lost in the desert and in well visited state parks, who have yet to be found. Mother Nature often reminds us that she is not to be trifled with. I have been wrong before and I well could be wrong this time too. I just hope that Barbara is found. Soon.

 

[Cherwell]

We’re talking about her son, and he had to wait days.
I’d want to know immediately, and I don’t think I know of a single person who would feel different.
A life is on the line. Who cares about “alarm?”
Also, he believed Barb was “kidnapped.” If someone is kidnapped, one does not sit around and wait to see how things turn out.

I would care about alarming people. I have explained my position clearly in my posts.

As for the son, others have addressed the possibility of estrangement. I don't want to say any more about him, except that there may be understandable reasons why RT might not have wanted to speak to him.

I have also said previously that the abduction theory was probably just clutching at straws, and I don't think RT really believed in it then or now.

 

[kay74]

Obviously RT and BT's son were not on speaking terms, but it's HER SON! He should have had the decency to call him. On the other hand, did he fear a lashout from him?

 

[Auntie Cipation]

If (speculation) BT's usual method of communicating with her son was email, and if (speculation) RT did not want to talk to the son, he could have emailed him.

Maybe not ideal communication but at least would have given the son the needed information without requiring any undesired direct contact. He even could have included the LE contact info for finding out more.

 

[kkdj]

RT should have contacted BT's son in some fashion no matter what imo. He has the right to know, the right to step in and search for his mother, the right to call other loved ones, the right to hire a PI, the right to ask questions, the right to investigate, the right to ask others to help find his mother, etc. He had the right to know immediately, so that he could do anything and everything to (help) find his mother. IMO RT didn't think it had any value to notify BT's son. Wonder why.

 

[cazador]

RT should have contacted BT's son in some fashion no matter what imo. He has the right to know, the right to step in and search for his mother, the right to call other loved ones, the right to hire a PI, the right to ask questions, the right to investigate, the right to ask others to help find his mother, etc. He had the right to know immediately, so that he could do anything and everything to (help) find his mother. IMO RT didn't think it had any value to notify BT's son. Wonder why.

I Love This ...
It is all about the family members and their RIGHT TO do something at the moment..
They were robbed..No Pun intended

 

[rosesfromangels]

Obviously RT and BT's son were not on speaking terms, but it's HER SON! He should have had the decency to call him. On the other hand, did he fear a lashout from him?

Good post. From the armchair, yes, it does appear RT and BT's son weren't close. Not uncommon with late life marriage situations. Children tend to view the new spouse with a critical eye, and most especially sons/mothers it seems.

I agree that RT probably didn't want to deal with the son in an already overwhelming situation, although agree that he should have regardless. Not calling the son, or at minimum texting him, (or having his own daughter call Barb's son), was not the right thing to do. Whether it indicates anything other than thoughtlessness, I simply can't judge.

Amateur opinion and speculation

 

[kkdj]

I Love This ...
It is all about the family members and their RIGHT TO do something at the moment..

Exactly. When our loved ones marry we entrust that person to take care of them and to become a part of our already established family. So, imo it is a radical injustice to not have called BT's loved ones immediately. I would be livid if I were them. Also, imo it is very telling. It seems like there was avoidance going on. I mean, RT didn't even call her brother for days. C'mon now. His (beloved) wife is missing! I would be shouting to all family members for help and I would be on every SM and every news channel I could! No avenue or stone unturned if it were my loved one. But hey....that's just me.