CA CA - Bryce Laspisa, 19, Castaic, 30 Aug 2013 - #3

[nikb]

Exactly. He was pretty much giving his mom a blow-by-blow of his activities (or so it seems) while on the road... there is that exorbitant amount of time spent - 10 hours? - at Buttonwillow, but I think if he was going to take off, he'd have been a little more vague.

I've thought about it... I would clean my house, spotless... get everything "just so", and walk out without a word to anyone. And I'd turn around and come back within a day. *le sigh*

Who knows... :banghead:

I keep bouncing theories around in my head but I really think something bad happened in Buttonwillow. I know I mentioned it before but I've been to the "downtown" part, and it scared the he** out of me. I was somewhat surprised I didn't get carjacked - probably partly because I was staying way alert and had pepper spray visible in my hand. The truck stop part was fine, but the downtown area a few miles off the freeway just...well... wasn't. If that's where he went to nap, I really fear for what might've happened to him.

 

[Whiteorchids]

Yeah well college kids aren't like they used to be, lol. I read an article that said the average college kid talks to their mom at least twice a day now. I called my mom once a week and was 3000 miles away at nineteen...life is very different and this age group seems much younger to me, JMO.

My son goes to UCI he will only talk to me once a week. If I call him more and text him everyday he gets mad at me and then I have to go two weeks before he will talk to me as punishment. He is an adult and wants his independence not to be a mommies boy. It's hard because him and I had such a close relationship before he moved to Irvine. It's very frustrating because he doesn't pay attention to all the horrible things that go on in the world. If I bug him by texting or calling too much I just make it worse for myself. He goes to college Full-time and has a great paid intern job as a programmer and makes good grades. He's a great son I just have to trust him without being over protective so that I don't push him away further.


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[SandSage]

I keep bouncing theories around in my head but I really think something bad happened in Buttonwillow. I know I mentioned it before but I've been to the "downtown" part, and it scared the he** out of me. I was somewhat surprised I didn't get carjacked - probably partly because I was staying way alert and had pepper spray visible in my hand. The truck stop part was fine, but the downtown area a few miles off the freeway just...well... wasn't. If that's where he went to nap, I really fear for what might've happened to him.

I remember you mentioning that and I actually googled "Buttonwillow Images". All I really got were industrial looking areas and some agriculture and a toxic waste dump (yikes). (added: OH! I think a race track too!)

I know the demographics seem to lean heavily toward lower income and labor, largely Hispanic (gee, sounds like my city) so keeping that in mind, did it seem to be scary as in disrepair and poverty or scary as in junkies, thugs etc.?

 

[nikb]

His relationship with his parents (as far as they are concerned) appears to be very close and we'll call it... nurturing. I know several men well over the age of 19 who speak with their parents daily; at this point, it's probably the sons checking on their parents but I don't find it odd at all. Some families are more communicative; now, whether the information they are communicating is legitimate or not is another story altogether. IYKWIM

Could be mom's spidey sense was tingling too.

BBM very true. Maybe she could just tell something wasn't right.

I forgot I've read a bunch about the "helicopter parenting" in my university's alumni magazine. Err I mean.. nurturing parenting. The school is trying to discourage it so the kids can get more independent (good luck with that one hehe).

In any case I don't find it odd, but I also wouldn't find it odd for him to go days or weeks without being in touch. I guess now that I think it through I'm wondering more about a change in behavior. not the behavior itself. I hope LE is looking at this too.

 

[Whiteorchids]

My other son the oldest has the drug addiction to Adderall problem. He has been clean a few years but still craves it daily. When he takes it makes him whacko. My younger one at UCI is the level headed one who does no drugs because of what he has gone through as a family with his older brother.


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[LaborDayRN]

His relationship with his parents (as far as they are concerned) appears to be very close and we'll call it... nurturing. I know several men well over the age of 19 who speak with their parents daily; at this point, it's probably the sons checking on their parents but I don't find it odd at all. Some families are more communicative; now, whether the information they are communicating is legitimate or not is another story altogether. IYKWIM

Could be mom's spidey sense was tingling too.

I agree with you. I would think after having his friends taking his car keys away and Mom being worried enough to offering to fly up there......they were doing more than tingling.

 

[SandSage]

BBM very true. Maybe she could just tell something wasn't right.

I forgot I've read a bunch about the "helicopter parenting" in my university's alumni magazine. Err I mean.. nurturing parenting. The school is trying to discourage it so the kids can get more independent (good luck with that one hehe).

I have been...um... "reviewed" for my parenting skills by my extremely nurturing parents and siblings countless times. I scored very low on the nurturing scale because I have overtly high expectations i.e. chores being completed, grades being maintained, respect & manners and these things are rewarded (that's what it was called) by freedom of expression, clothing, hair, music, et al. As a single parent working full time, I have expectations of my child that have created a little more "adult" behavior. I think that if I were more freakishly in her pocket 24/7 I would have scored higher.

In any case I don't find it odd, but I also wouldn't find it odd for him to go days or weeks without being in touch. I guess now that I think it through I'm wondering more about a change in behavior. not the behavior itself. I hope LE is looking at this too.

BBM: BINGO!!!! :rockon:

 

[SandSage]

My other son the oldest has the drug addiction to Adderall problem. He has been clean a few years but still craves it daily. When he takes it makes him whacko. My younger one at UCI is the level headed one who does no drugs because of what he has gone through as a family with his older brother.


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As the eldest (black sheep), I would say my behaviors had the same effect on my younger siblings. They are straight as an arrow and always have been. I can only empathize with you for having been the one who caused a great deal of worry and sorrow for my folks. I am so sorry you have to go through this and I imagine it is difficult for both of your sons and their relationship with one another as well.

I'm doing everything the opposite way my folks did in raising my daughter... our children don't come with user's manuals... We can only do the very best we know how and hope it all turns out okay. Organic mental / neuro / behavioral issues be damned. <3

 

[nikb]

I remember you mentioning that and I actually googled "Buttonwillow Images". All I really got were industrial looking areas and some agriculture and a toxic waste dump (yikes).

I know the demographics seem to lean heavily toward lower income and labor, largely Hispanic (gee, sounds like my city) so keeping that in mind, did it seem to be scary as in disrepair and poverty or scary as in junkies, thugs etc.?

I'm not too sure how to answer that. When I got to the downtown area I saw the post office, fire station, etc. but I'm talking maybe 10 blocks... it was really small. I can't figure out how to get the exact building but here's a map of the "main street" part: https://maps.google.com/maps?q=Nort...+Main+St,+Buttonwillow,+California+93206&z=16

Other than the public buildings I saw a ton of empty or nearly empty strip malls, a Mexican restuarant, a dry cleaner's, and a pet store (which looked like the only busy place in town). The actual store I went to for toothpaste was called Lucky Lotto - apparently someone at some point won the Lotto there. There were people standing on the corner just kind of watching me and the truck. Heading back to the freeway I was in a residential neighborhood briefly and there were a bunch of people out in their yards. I felt like they were all just watching me. The town was definitely in disrepair... thugs and junkies I just don't know. I might be paranoid, and granted I'm not a 19 year old male, but how to say this politely... I don't think a pale red-headed white young man would be welcomed there. A blond white girl (me) definitely was not welcome.

I have no idea if something happened in Buttonwillow, but I know his Mom said in an early story she thought something did, and I certainly didn't feel safe there. I can't imagine how he would've made true friends there so quickly after moving. It's really not that big. All kinds of things could've happened at a truck stop, though. Ugh... too many possibilities.

 

[PoirotsGirlFriday]

Pretty crazy someone else brought up the book/movie "Into the wild." This is one of the first thoughts that popped into my head. Maybe the stress, pressure of college/money/friends/careers/the future/success got to him and he just needed to disappear for away. Maybe he wasn't happy living the life he was living but didn't know how to change it, or how to tell his parents. There are just so many possibilities. BUt my own opinion is the car crash was a diversion and he is out there somewhere hiding out... I feel like if he had died, the body would have been found by now. I could be totally wrong on this, but this my intuition...

Mine as well. I just feel that if he was wounded or had some some kind of head trauma and he was wondering around confused, he would have either a) stumbled into a town area nearby looking for food and water or b) passed away, and they would have came across his body by now. If he isn't purposely hiding out there is no need for him to go far away. So he should be close by and been spotted by now. So to me, that seems to indicate he is purposefully hiding and removed himself from the entire area or even the entire state of CA.

 

[nikb]

I remember you mentioning that and I actually googled "Buttonwillow Images". All I really got were industrial looking areas and some agriculture and a toxic waste dump (yikes). (added: OH! I think a race track too!)

I know the demographics seem to lean heavily toward lower income and labor, largely Hispanic (gee, sounds like my city) so keeping that in mind, did it seem to be scary as in disrepair and poverty or scary as in junkies, thugs etc.?

BBM - yep, we were there for the racetrack. I've been very good about packing toothpaste since my little venture in Buttonwillow.

 

[SandSage]

I'm not too sure how to answer that. When I got to the downtown area I saw the post office, fire station, etc. but I'm talking maybe 10 blocks... it was really small. I can't figure out how to get the exact building but here's a map of the "main street" part: https://maps.google.com/maps?q=Nort...+Main+St,+Buttonwillow,+California+93206&z=16

Other than the public buildings I saw a ton of empty or nearly empty strip malls, a Mexican restuarant, a dry cleaner's, and a pet store (which looked like the only busy place in town). The actual store I went to for toothpaste was called Lucky Lotto - apparently someone at some point won the Lotto there. There were people standing on the corner just kind of watching me and the truck. Heading back to the freeway I was in a residential neighborhood briefly and there were a bunch of people out in their yards. I felt like they were all just watching me. The town was definitely in disrepair... thugs and junkies I just don't know. I might be paranoid, and granted I'm not a 19 year old male, but how to say this politely... I don't think a pale red-headed white young man would be welcomed there. A blond white girl (me) definitely was not welcome.

I have no idea if something happened in Buttonwillow, but I know his Mom said in an early story she thought something did, and I certainly didn't feel safe there. I can't imagine how he would've made true friends there so quickly after moving. It's really not that big. All kinds of things could've happened at a truck stop, though. Ugh... too many possibilities.

GOTCHA! So, in other words you felt very uncomfortable, vulnerable and out of place (stood out). I'm glad you followed your gut.

Sounds a LOT like neighborhoods around my area and they would have likely seen Bryce as an "opportunity".

Thank you.

 

[moonstone]

It's probably been said before, but the fact that this occurred on/near a holiday weekend near a recreation area like the lake makes me ill at ease because it's only natural there is a higher percentage of 'party people' and/or more rough type people who made an effort to get away for the weekend and go camping or barbecuing at recreation areas. Just more traffic, more beer runs, more drinking, more chances to run into things.

That said, I don't know how popular the campgrounds are there, and it is not a HUGE camping area; I doubt it'd be crawling with people... but it's just something that gives more general cause for concern.

The roads above the lake are 'rural' roads with no one around, and as you climb they offer sweeping, spectacular views of the lake. Prime spots for parking, stargazing, pulling off at a turnout to drink alcohol in a secluded setting, smoke pot, whatever. I only happen to know because I once took a non-local friend up there to drink a few winecoolers (i know), talk, and look at the stars... and I was 19 (underage to drink in CA), so yes, we drank on the side of the road, sitting on the hood of the car, having a pleasant time, without any cause for concern in the slightest (it was summer but not Labor Day wknd). The sort of thing that happens all over the country on nice summer nights, I'm sure. Just trying to say, there could have been more likelihood of less 'well intentioned' people doing that sort of thing that weekend, in other secluded area/turnouts that eventually travelled past for whatever reason.

Sleeping in a car on a dirt road at 2 am at any place like that near LA or Orange County? Labor Day would be one of the last weekends I'd choose to do it.

 

[SandSage]

BBM - yep, we were there for the racetrack. I've been very good about packing toothpaste since my little venture in Buttonwillow.

:floorlaugh:

Adorable!

 

[SandSage]

It's probably been said before, but the fact that this occurred on/near a holiday weekend near a recreation area like the lake makes me ill at ease because it's only natural there is a higher percentage of 'party people' and/or more rough type people who made an effort to get away for the weekend and go camping or barbecuing at recreation areas. Just more traffic, more beer runs, more drinking, more chances to run into things.

That said, I don't know how popular the campgrounds are there, and it is not a HUGE camping area; I doubt it'd be crawling with people... but it's just something that gives more general cause for concern.

The roads above the lake are 'rural' roads with no one around, and as you climb they offer sweeping, spectacular views of the lake. Prime spots for parking, stargazing, pulling off at a turnout to drink alcohol in a secluded setting, smoke pot, whatever. I only happen to know because I once took a non-local friend up there to drink a few winecoolers (i know), talk, and look at the stars... and I was only 19 (underage to drink in CA), so yes, we drank on the side of the road, sitting on the hood of the car, having a pleasant time, without any cause for concern in the slightest (it was summer but not Labor Day wknd).

Sleeping in a car on a dirt road at 2 am at any place like that near LA or Orange County? Labor Day would be one of the last weekends I'd choose to do it.

BBM - that HAS been brought up, several times and I for one keep forgetting it was a long holiday weekend. :facepalm:

 

[Amster]

Again, is there any evidence that Bryce is addicted to or misused ANY drugs? Because some drug is popular amongst some college students and some young people hide their drug use from parents doesn't mean Bryce was doing this. One incident of him reportedly taking one pill has morphed into something totally different. Most theories now center around him being under the influence of something....really unfair, IMO.

 

[sreshowtime]

a little OT- off topic
there is another gentleman , still missing after 4 yrs from Placentia, Orange County, about 70 miles SE of Castiac....Robert Harrod...if you are from that general area, I invite you check out his thread...maybe you can be on the look out for him too...as it is not known where he might be. Thank you.
May Bryce be found soon...

 

[BluePoppy]

Way back in the beginning, someone discovered a gaming name with PurpleK in it. I think it was... Quester? Can you recall off the top of your head (who ever it was) what the name was?

Curious.

Yes, this was me. Why?

I keep bouncing theories around in my head but I really think something bad happened in Buttonwillow. I know I mentioned it before but I've been to the "downtown" part, and it scared the he** out of me. I was somewhat surprised I didn't get carjacked - probably partly because I was staying way alert and had pepper spray visible in my hand. The truck stop part was fine, but the downtown area a few miles off the freeway just...well... wasn't. If that's where he went to nap, I really fear for what might've happened to him.

But remember, both times (all 3?) he was contacted, it was reported to mom that all was well & he was in locations near the truck stop area. Not in town which is a couple miles off the highway through agriculture fields. (Or is it the cow farms there? I can't recall at the moment...) I'm not inclined to think he went into town.

Again, is there any evidence that Bryce is addicted to or misused ANY drugs? Because some drug is popular amongst some college students and some young people hide their drug use from parents doesn't mean Bryce was doing this. One incident of him reportedly taking one pill has morphed into something totally different. Most theories now center around him being under the influence of something....really unfair, IMO.

This is 100% the point dragracerz was trying to make. And I agree - while personal stories offer valuable insight on how things *could* go & some worst case scenarios, and my heart really goes out to those who have lived that, but it feels like a lot of those worst case scenarios are being applied to Bryce, & I just don't get that sense about him. JMO.

 

[moonstone]

BBM - that HAS been brought up, several times and I for one keep forgetting it was a long holiday weekend. :facepalm:

Sorry Sandsage but if you read on in my post my point clearly wasn't specifically the holiday weekend in itself...that was just the opening point. Yes it goes without saying. To put it more bluntly, I hadn't read it pointed out about how all kinds 'inner city' people crawl out of the city that one wouldn't want to meet at a campground, drunk and all... gang types, etc. Especially being that Castaic is THE closest lake that offers outdoor recreation to the north, or is the most accessible. Plus it's near Magic Mountain, and that place in itself draws that crowd, so it's a natural on a weekend like that. THAT was my point. I have run into types like that at other campgrounds as a teenager, innocently while with friends and almost ran into a menacing situation without even engaging in anything 'rowdy' at all. It is very enhanced being near LA or OC. I didn't want to be that blunt, but if I must...

This is an overgeneralization for sure, but for people in the depths of LA/OC, a place like LA could be a major getaway... while for people who get away regularly, 2-4+ hours is way more like it, to getaway from all that; places that will be a 'zoo' and not with typical outdoor types. There is just that wave effect, and possible 'run ins' with people out and about, that was my point. I combed the first thread, all 40 pages and I did NOT see this pointed out or anywhere near close... I have also seen many other things repeated that surely were more obvious, so go facepalm them please. Me, I just skip over those kinds of post with patience and non-judgement.

I mean this with genuine respect: you can have your facepalm, I will not accept it.

 

[BluePoppy]

I go back & forth with different ideas, some of them conflicting.

*I don't think Bryce left with the intention of staying gone. If so, he'd have likely brought more than a duffel bag with him. One of the news broadcasts showed how he's left his room & his other high tops by the front door.

*Why did Bryce leave in the middle of his classes the first week, as opposed to asking his parents for a plane ticket home for the weekend if he didn't want his mom to fly up, but wanted to go home.

Seems he didn't want to be boxed in. Wanted the freedom to drive away from his parent's home, yet he wanted to go there bad enough to drive all that way.

*One of the roommates mentioned that Bryce partied harder than most. But to me, that meant alcohol & weed. I got the sense from his gf telling Bryce's mom that Bryce had told her he took an Adderall that Tuesday & that he was acting weird, that this was the first time he had tried it. Remember - he'd only been back in the area for 2 wks & had a different living environment. New roommate & apt vs dorms.

* I don't think mom made the friends to give the keys back when disregarding her concerns. It was said they were friends she knew & talked to before asking them to give the keys back. She cannot be faulted if they didn't tell her everything & they can't be faulted for not telling her when they were right there in front of Bryce. It was a catch 22. But I'm not even sure him driving was necessarily a bad idea.

IMHO he knew when he was tired & needed to stop & sleep & he did that in Buttonwillow. He drove for as long as he had the adrenalin to keep on & stopped when it burned off. And he was sleeping & buying time in Buttonwillow on Thursday trying to get the hangover to wear off so he could be presentable. Mom may have been on his case Thursday night to get home already & he pushed on a little bit per her request, but when he knew he just couldn't do it, he pulled off in Castaic. He called to tell her this so she wouldn't worry & put out a missing persons again & have LE come hunting him down.

Bottom line - my sense is that he tried Adderall, was struggling to get over it, yet he is smart enough to handle it responsibly (as one can anyway) by not driving & trying to sleep it off.