CA CA - Ember Graham, 7 mo., Happy Valley, 2 July 2015 - #1

[m_brown]

I wonder if JG even knew the conditions MG was living in when she let Ember stay with him. Was this the "home" she was moving to that day? Or were they moving back in together somewhere else? I missed seeing specifics.

And if she did know, yes, there are people with children in this country who live in similar situations...either by choice, ignorance or "necessity" (but there is no necessity to be messy or dirty IMO). The kids do survive, but with a special needs child like Ember, I can't imagine that her medical team or CPS would approve. JMO

Hi Lilibet. I don't think we know for certain that is where she planned to move into (the 25' trailer) you are right. We do know that is where Ember was staying that night.

One night too long, IMO

 

[Ontario Mom]

I'm surmising it based on the police statement. He went to the gas station with Ember. She was alive as he brought her inside. Then he inexplicably drove in the opposite direction from his house with the baby, and was gone in that direction for one hour. After an hour, his car was seen coming back an hour later.

When asked where he had gone and how long he was gone for....he lied. He lied.

Coincidentally, just a few hours later, he reported the baby missing.

Not directed at you dear JeannaT, but I don't give a darn what he posted on facebook or how loving he seemed. The horrible case of baby Elohora, which Scarlett just posted about above, had a dad who posted similar photos of him cuddling his baby as she slept on him, only days before he raped his newborn to death. His family likewise said how great he was.

Appearances can be deceiving.

I think... and I could be way off base here, but I think he simply chose to 'put her to sleep' not realizing he was actually killing her (and all this took place in that 1 hour window that he isn't yet accounting for). I think once he discovered he'd killed her, he freaked, dumped her, and concocted a story. OR... it was "mercy" in his mind and he feels 100% justified and 100% horrified at what he's done.

Right now, stone cold sober and 100% lucid I think his actions are haunting him in ways no responsible parent can ever imagine. I only hope his conscience gets the better of him and he cops to what he did and tells LE where she is. It's the only honorable thing he can do at this point and I believe he knows 100% exactly where she is.

I DON'T think he meant to hurt her but in some way to help her. I just think as a convicted felon he's used to CYA, despite the circumstances, and he's scared.

moo.

 

[T4Tide]

From what I've read she couldn't tend to baby and pack and move at the same time. To be completely frank, I call BS. Untold millions of mothers have been doing this very thing since the beginning of humanity without any special assistance. Shoot, most moms do it while packing baby on their hip and stuffing boxes at the same time. I don't want to come off as unkind or uncaring but honestly I'm sick of whiney excuses from precious little delicate flowers.

As my own 32 year old daughter likes to say, "suck it up, buttercup". Do what needs doing and stop pretending you're such a delicate china doll that you need angels surrounding you at all times. (I have no idea where my daughter gets her ideas).

I think we could be great friends. [emoji7] [emoji7] [emoji7]

 

[MsMarple]

Yeah, I'm guess y'all are right. The first thing I read was that he wanted a boy. Everything just seems SO sinister to me right now

Considering the level of his drug use, for him to post that just felt like a punch in the gut.

If you don't see it the same way (that perhaps he wasn't happy - later - that Baby Ember was a girl) that's reassuring.
My mind also wondered whether or not there's a dynamic at play regarding her special needs. IMO/IME, it's not uncommon for parents to blame themselves (or each other) when this happens. Then there's the extended family dynamic as well (and we've seen that MG hasn't hidden anything). So, this post seems SO disingenuous to me. I can only imagine the tensions at play, and wonder if MG's paternal drug use (pre-natal and post-partum) is a cornerstone to this case.

Looking at the photos on his SM - appearances seem to matter to him. :dunno:

Trying to find the right words here, hope :moo: is making at least a little bit of sense. :blushing:




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I think I understand where you're coming from Kimi; each time I was pregnant people would ask if we wanted a boy and we'd always answer that we just wanted a healthy baby. Sheesh. But yeah, there are people out there who are disappointed when a baby isn't the sex that they wanted. But I don't think that applies here though I do think Ember's seizures do. Not as a disappointment - more like a nuisance.

JMO, I think MG wasn't all that thrilled to become a husband and father in the first place and like you say he did a good job of masking it. If you do the math, JG was 18 when she got pregnant and she was pregnant when they got married. We don't know enough of their history together to know how it affected him but I'm guessing JG was head over heels in love and thrilled to become a wife and mother. Him, not so much. Especially since Ember had special needs.

All speculation of course. I'd like to know more about their relationship and we probably will learn more as this all plays out. What disturbs me a lot in the meantime is this:

Matthew showed very little remorse for the disappearance of his daughter. At no time during the eight plus hours that he was with detectives did he ever inquire what was being done to find her.

http://www.redding.com/news/local-news/dads-inconsistencies-revealed

That doesn't describe a proud daddy.

 

[Lilibet]

I've done volunteer work in the central hills of WV and was shocked at the conditions. Some of it was truly horrifying.

Yup there are definitely third world pockets in this country. I've done volunteer work in the boonies of northern CA and was shocked. Horrifying is the right word. It's amazing to me that some actually choose to live like that (and in many cases it was choice). People can be poor, but it doesn't cost much to be clean and neat. JMO

That's why I wonder if JG knew how MG was living. I can't imagine being OK with that place.

 

[JeannaT]

I think I understand where you're coming from Kimi; each time I was pregnant people would ask if we wanted a boy and we'd always answer that we just wanted a healthy baby. Sheesh. But yeah, there are people out there who are disappointed when a baby isn't the sex that they wanted. But I don't think that applies here though I do think Ember's seizures do. Not as a disappointment - more like a nuisance.

JMO, I think MG wasn't all that thrilled to become a husband and father in the first place and like you say he did a good job of masking it. If you do the math, JG was 18 when she got pregnant and she was pregnant when they got married. We don't know enough of their history together to know how it affected him but I'm guessing JG was head over heels in love and thrilled to become a wife and mother. Him, not so much. Especially since Ember had special needs.

All speculation of course. I'd like to know more about their relationship and we probably will learn more as this all plays out. What disturbs me a lot in the meantime is this:

Matthew showed very little remorse for the disappearance of his daughter. At no time during the eight plus hours that he was with detectives did he ever inquire what was being done to find her.

http://www.redding.com/news/local-news/dads-inconsistencies-revealed

That doesn't describe a proud daddy.

Remorse? Why would he express "remorse" if he didn't harm her? And honestly, how many parents who are truly innocent of any wrong doing who are brought in for 8+ hours of questioning turn the tables on the cops and begin to demand answers?

None, is my guess. None. Innocent people sit there looking sad and don't demand anything. In my observation.

 

[MsMarple]

I wonder if JG even knew the conditions MG was living in when she let Ember stay with him. Was this the "home" she was moving to that day? Or were they moving back in together somewhere else? I missed seeing specifics.

And if she did know, yes, there are people with children in this country who live in similar situations...either by choice, ignorance or "necessity" (but there is no necessity to be messy or dirty IMO). The kids do survive, but with a special needs child like Ember, I can't imagine that her medical team or CPS would approve. JMO

Here's what JG said:

Jamie Graham said the night before her daughter went missing, she went to her house in Anderson to pack and left the baby in Matthew Graham’s care. They were going to live together in Happy Valley.

“I had everything ready. We had a plan to meet at 8 o’clock in the morning before it got super hot, get everything in the truck and get everything moved in,” she said.

But shortly after 5 a.m. on Thursday, her phone rang. It was Matthew Graham. The baby was gone, someone took her, she said he told her.

“I kind of thought … maybe that it was our cousin in the house,” she said. “Maybe he went inside and picked her up and he was like, ‘No, I already talked to everybody. She’s gone.’

http://www.redding.com/news/local-n...after-he-is-named-person-of-interest_39675052

To me it sounds like she was moving into the trailer.

 

[musicaljoke]

...
I DON'T think he meant to hurt her but in some way to help her. I just think as a convicted felon he's used to CYA, despite the circumstances, and he's scared.

moo.

He drove his truck w/o straping her into her car seat. Any seven month old baby is capable of wiggling out of a car seat, dropping to the floor and suffering injuries. He had no regard for her safety. I truly don't see any indication that he showed loving concern.

 

[Ontario Mom]

I think I understand where you're coming from Kimi; each time I was pregnant people would ask if we wanted a boy and we'd always answer that we just wanted a healthy baby. Sheesh. But yeah, there are people out there who are disappointed when a baby isn't the sex that they wanted. But I don't think that applies here though I do think Ember's seizures do. Not as a disappointment - more like a nuisance.

JMO, I think MG wasn't all that thrilled to become a husband and father in the first place and like you say he did a good job of masking it. If you do the math, JG was 18 when she got pregnant and she was pregnant when they got married. We don't know enough of their history together to know how it affected him but I'm guessing JG was head over heels in love and thrilled to become a wife and mother. Him, not so much. Especially since Ember had special needs.

All speculation of course. I'd like to know more about their relationship and we probably will learn more as this all plays out. What disturbs me a lot in the meantime is this:

Matthew showed very little remorse for the disappearance of his daughter. At no time during the eight plus hours that he was with detectives did he ever inquire what was being done to find her.

http://www.redding.com/news/local-news/dads-inconsistencies-revealed

That doesn't describe a proud daddy.

I think he's glad she's gone - not because he's a sick, horrible monster but because in his mind, she's not suffering and neither is her mama, or him. In his "wax"-induced drug binge, I think that's what made the most sense to him at the time.

I'd be willing to bet though, now that he's locked up and clean and sober, he's having a whole heck of a lot of horrifying second thoughts on what he's done.

100% speculation, of course.

 

[musicaljoke]

Hi Lilibet. I don't think we know for certain that is where she planned to move into (the 25' trailer) you are right. We do know that is where Ember was staying that night.

One night too long, IMO

Did she stay even one night? What day and time was the video of him driving away with Ember?

I checked the report ... Ember was reported missing on Thursday morning, but on video, was driven away in the truck on Wednesday.

She never made it even one night! That's a game changer for me. I no longer think that he was frustrated by a fussy baby that wouldn't sleep through the night. I think that something far more sinister and deliberate happened.

http://www.redding.com/news/local-news/dads-inconsistencies-revealed

 

[Lilibet]

Here's what JG said:

Jamie Graham said the night before her daughter went missing, she went to her house in Anderson to pack and left the baby in Matthew Graham’s care. They were going to live together in Happy Valley.

“I had everything ready. We had a plan to meet at 8 o’clock in the morning before it got super hot, get everything in the truck and get everything moved in,” she said.

But shortly after 5 a.m. on Thursday, her phone rang. It was Matthew Graham. The baby was gone, someone took her, she said he told her.

“I kind of thought … maybe that it was our cousin in the house,” she said. “Maybe he went inside and picked her up and he was like, ‘No, I already talked to everybody. She’s gone.’

http://www.redding.com/news/local-n...after-he-is-named-person-of-interest_39675052

To me it sounds like she was moving into the trailer.

BBM

Yes it sounded like that to me, but I was hoping and hoping they were moving somewhere else...especially after reading the detailed description. The photos posted earlier were bad enough. But the squalor described turns my stomach. Now I hope she didn't know how bad it actually was, but how could that be? What was she thinking? I'm sure she feels awful!

 

[Ontario Mom]

Yep. That's what I've been saying to you.

Catching up one post at a time. It might look weird but I can only thoughtfully process that way. Pretty sure we are in sad agreement on this stuff though.

 

[klily444]

Here's what JG said:

Jamie Graham said the night before her daughter went missing, she went to her house in Anderson to pack and left the baby in Matthew Graham’s care. They were going to live together in Happy Valley.

“I had everything ready. We had a plan to meet at 8 o’clock in the morning before it got super hot, get everything in the truck and get everything moved in,” she said.

But shortly after 5 a.m. on Thursday, her phone rang. It was Matthew Graham. The baby was gone, someone took her, she said he told her.

“I kind of thought … maybe that it was our cousin in the house,” she said. “Maybe he went inside and picked her up and he was like, ‘No, I already talked to everybody. She’s gone.’

http://www.redding.com/news/local-n...after-he-is-named-person-of-interest_39675052

To me it sounds like she was moving into the trailer.

But...she had to pack all night, which is why she couldn't keep Ember with her that night!? How much can you possibly pack into a 25 ft travel trailer? And why at 8 am before it got too hot? It's not as if she was bringing couches into that thing. I agree with you; that is probably where she was moving to, but I have a 25 ft travel trailer and there is no room for anything besides bedding and such. Nothing makes sense.

 

[JeannaT]

But...she had to pack all night, which is why she couldn't keep Ember with her that night!? How much can you possibly pack into a 25 ft travel trailer? And why at 8 am before it got too hot? It's not as if she was bringing couches into that thing. I agree with you; that is probably where she was moving to, but I have a 25 ft travel trailer and there is no room for anything besides bedding and such. Nothing makes sense.

I don't know the circumstances either. I agree with you - it would take NO TIME to pack to move into that little teeny trailer. Her clothes, the baby clothes, a few baby items.

What I would really be interested to know is WHO suggested Ember stay with him the day before mom moved in? Did Matthew press her hard to have the baby stay with him?

 

[Cardinal47]

Well that's kind of where I am too. Why would she pack up that beautiful little baby girl and leave her in the care of the baby daddy that did drugs and lived in such a place with no ac, water or really anything?

I still think of that happy, chubby baby girl on the NG show looking so happy and her mother playing with her with such joy in her baby girl.

I just don't understand this at all.

 

[Ontario Mom]

He drove his truck w/o straping her into her car seat. Any seven month old baby is capable of wiggling out of a car seat, dropping to the floor and suffering injuries. He had no regard for her safety. I truly don't see any indication that he showed loving concern.

As a mother of 7 awesome people, I know that. Heck, mine were strapped in with home-grown 5 point harnesses before they were even legally required or even thought of (because... Mom Safety or something, I don't even know). I may have been air-headed enough to leave full glass bottles of formula on the top of the car (which toppled off and broke as we drove away, more than once, to be sure) but all those babies were strapped in so tight Houdini himself would have been puzzled on how to free them.

But as a young baby-daddy with dope addiction issues and an infant daughter with special needs, I genuinely don't think he was thinking rationally or practically. Sadly, I think this sweet little baby Ember payed the ultimate price for her daddy's drug addiction. As so many before her and so many more, will.

 

[musicaljoke]

I don't know the circumstances either. I agree with you - it would take NO TIME to pack to move into that little teeny trailer. Her clothes, the baby clothes, a few baby items.

What I would really be interested to know is WHO suggested Ember stay with him the day before mom moved in? Did Matthew press her hard to have the baby stay with him?

I donno. Maybe both of them were planning to go into the manufacturing business and there was no room in their lives for a baby with health issues. We'll just have to wait and see where the investigation goes.

 

[Lilibet]

Remorse? Why would he express "remorse" if he didn't harm her? And honestly, how many parents who are truly innocent of any wrong doing who are brought in for 8+ hours of questioning turn the tables on the cops and begin to demand answers?

None, is my guess. None. Innocent people sit there looking sad and don't demand anything. In my observation.

I think maybe if he is innocent he could express "remorse" that something happened to Ember on his watch. It would be devastating to an innocent father. I can also imagine an innocent parent eventually getting impatient about the questioning and saying "Besides talking to me, what else are you doing to find my daughter." JMO I expect that LE have seen how both the innocent and guilty act, and to them his demeanor is more in line with guilt. MOO, etc

 

[gitana1]

In defense of those from the hills or the hollers or of those who live below the poverty line, one's character has nothing to do with either geography or income. There are plenty of backwoods people and plenty of poor people who are genuine and kindhearted and love their children.

The Deliverance thing is really a stereotype!

 

[MsMarple]

But...she had to pack all night, which is why she couldn't keep Ember with her that night!? How much can you possibly pack into a 25 ft travel trailer? And why at 8 am before it got too hot? It's not as if she was bringing couches into that thing. I agree with you; that is probably where she was moving to, but I have a 25 ft travel trailer and there is no room for anything besides bedding and such. Nothing makes sense.

Oh ugh! Thanks for making my head go spinning around. But you made an excellent point. I dunno. Maybe she was fighting with her parents over the move and thought she'd have more leverage if Ember was already at the trailer. And that's the mildest thought I could come up with. I'm not ready to go to darker places just yet.