CA - Kidnapped girl found rso abduction

[FlowerChild]

first bolded section...one does NOT need a computer to do a SO check, it is as easy as going to your local police station. This information is available in 3 different languages in california. These parents were neglectful in the respect that they allowed an individual to come into their home and stay there without knowing his background first. Your comment does not hold water in that respect.

As for our angel Jessica, these are two VERY different circumstances, as they did not allow him to come stay as a gues in their home.

Well I don't know a lot of working class parents near the poverty line who have the time to go to the local police station with their kids in tow (they don't have a babysitter and can't afford one) and wait around while someone assists them to look up some guy whose real name they might not even know (or know how to spell) on the RSO list.

Let's be realistic here - parents are busy - especially working parents with sometimes multiple jobs - not to mention working SINGLE parents and a lot of them are barely making it as it is - and we expect them to be at the Police Station checking out every male they know every week? I daresay many parents of missing kids who did NOTHING WRONG did not even know the RSO's in their area before their kids went missing. Some of them didn't even own a computer or have the internet at home. It is comparable - these parents are real parents who did NOTHING WRONG and lost their children to a RSO they didn't know was a threat to their children.

It shouldn't be so hard to keep up with these creeps - they should be easily indentifiable on SIGHT! Why don't schools send home a list? Parents have so many things to worry about - and asking them to be private detectives and visit a police station every week or two to look up sex offenders is ridiculous. All the single middle class Moms I know don't have time to get their hair cut or do anything for themselves - they work all day and do "kid activities" the rest of the time - they barely have time to read their e-mail - checking out RSO's might happen every 6 months, not every week. And the Hispanic parents I know - 75% do NOT have a computer or know how to use one and most are illegal - they certainly are NOT gonna go walking into a Police Station to check out RSO's. And do you think pedophiles don't KNOW who the most vulnerable kids are??? They specialize in knowing!

The only people I know who are checking the RSO list regularly are mothers (and fathers) who are like WS'ers - concerned and who have the time and focus to keep up with the information. In our neighborhood one mother keeps the other parents informed of the RSO's in OUR AREA - but I doubt most of the "upper class" parents around here ever think of checking out their friends and co-workers. They just don't. They just figure the CPA or Dr or Lawyer they know who lives with his wife in a nice fancy big house is "OK".

I cannot (and will not) condemn parents without knowing the whole story. What if this is a long-time family friend, the step-son of a relative (by marriage) or someone they have known since childhood?? IF they have known this person a long time and have NEVER had reason to check him out (and no-one told them) why would they know he was a RSO? Maybe his parents and family don't even know he is a RSO? What was the conviction for? Was it a rape - or a statutory rape (big difference) - was it a child or an adult - what is the story there? I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who have sat down and looked up every man they know or have known (related or not) in their life from childhood forward to see if they are on the RSO list. I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who ask for ID's and then look up every male above puberty who comes to their house or is at a family event. It just doesn't happen because we think our kids are safe under our roof and that we can always protect them from bad things and bad people.

Like I said, people make mistakes ... lets say you are a 35 year old guy and have a party, and a friend gets really drunk and you do the "right thing" - take their keys and allow them to sleep it off on your floor or couch. Do you 1st check to see if they are a RSO? What if you are married? Does your wife check? What if you have kids? Do you check then? What if its 3AM and you AND the friend have to get up early the next day and go to work? Do you check then? What if the friend is someone you know really well, do you check then?

It's easy to judge other people - hindsight is always a perfect 20/20. There are no perfect parents out there and even the best ones have all made mistakes. Under a microscope no-one looks good.

My Opinion

 

[pixies]

The creep wasn't left alone with the child - the parents were right there in the house.

Asleep.

 

[pixies]

Well I don't know a lot of working class parents near the poverty line who have the time to go to the local police station with their kids in tow (they don't have a babysitter and can't afford one) and wait around while someone assists them to look up some guy whose real name they might not even know (or know how to spell) on the RSO list.

Let's be realistic here - parents are busy - especially working parents with sometimes multiple jobs - not to mention working SINGLE parents and a lot of them are barely making it as it is - and we expect them to be at the Police Station checking out every male they know every week? I daresay many parents of missing kids who did NOTHING WRONG did not even know the RSO's in their area before their kids went missing. Some of them didn't even own a computer or have the internet at home. It is comparable - these parents are real parents who did NOTHING WRONG and lost their children to a RSO they didn't know was a threat to their children.

It shouldn't be so hard to keep up with these creeps - they should be easily indentifiable on SIGHT! Why don't schools send home a list? Parents have so many things to worry about - and asking them to be private detectives and visit a police station every week or two to look up sex offenders is ridiculous. All the single middle class Moms I know don't have time to get their hair cut or do anything for themselves - they work all day and do "kid activities" the rest of the time - they barely have time to read their e-mail - checking out RSO's might happen every 6 months, not every week. And the Hispanic parents I know - 75% do NOT have a computer or know how to use one and most are illegal - they certainly are NOT gonna go walking into a Police Station to check out RSO's. And do you think pedophiles don't KNOW who the most vulnerable kids are??? They specialize in knowing!

The only people I know who are checking the RSO list regularly are mothers (and fathers) who are like WS'ers - concerned and who have the time and focus to keep up with the information. In our neighborhood one mother keeps the other parents informed of the RSO's in OUR AREA - but I doubt most of the "upper class" parents around here ever think of checking out their friends and co-workers. They just don't. They just figure the CPA or Dr or Lawyer they know who lives with his wife in a nice fancy big house is "OK".

I cannot (and will not) condemn parents without knowing the whole story. What if this is a long-time family friend, the step-son of a relative (by marriage) or someone they have known since childhood?? IF they have known this person a long time and have NEVER had reason to check him out (and no-one told them) why would they know he was a RSO? Maybe his parents and family don't even know he is a RSO? What was the conviction for? Was it a rape - or a statutory rape (big difference) - was it a child or an adult - what is the story there? I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who have sat down and looked up every man they know or have known (related or not) in their life from childhood forward to see if they are on the RSO list. I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who ask for ID's and then look up every male above puberty who comes to their house or is at a family event. It just doesn't happen because we think our kids are safe under our roof and that we can always protect them from bad things and bad people.

Like I said, people make mistakes ... lets say you are a 35 year old guy and have a party, and a friend gets really drunk and you do the "right thing" - take their keys and allow them to sleep it off on your floor or couch. Do you 1st check to see if they are a RSO? What if you are married? Does your wife check? What if you have kids? Do you check then? What if its 3AM and you AND the friend have to get up early the next day and go to work? Do you check then? What if the friend is someone you know really well, do you check then?

It's easy to judge other people - hindsight is always a perfect 20/20. There are no perfect parents out there and even the best ones have all made mistakes. Under a microscope no-one looks good.

My Opinion

Another good. :clap:

But, regardless of station in life, you have to make your children your number one priority. Being a poor single mother is no excuse for not checking out your neighborhood. One easy call to your local police office or FBI office and you have all the info you need. I contact the local TBI offices from time to time making sure a certain child predator is being monitored properly. They are nice people willing to help.

The hispanics who cannot speak english and here illegally. Being Mexican-American myself, I question their wisdom of bringing a child illegally into another country to begin with. Not wise but those who break the law rarely consider their children to begin with. Yeah, I know all about anchor babies and those children born to illegals but being a criminal should not stop them from protecting their kids. Libraries in Texas, California and many other states have free computer access and many many hispanic outreach programs. There is no excuse. NONE.
I have family members here in the US who should not be here and they have the wisdom to reach out and make sure which areas are safe for their kids.

Our kids should be our number one priority. ALL KIDS regardless of race or
"class". We all have to make sure the kids are safe. When you see a kid playing in the street alone in your neighborhood, go outside and sit on your porch to make sure he is OK. If you see a kid you know walking alone, make sure he is ok and his parents know where he is. Little things like that make kids safer.

 

[Details]

Asleep.

They were there. The child was not alone. And that is what saved her - they obviously heard something to be checking at 3am.

I just refuse to become that paranoid to think my child isn't reasonably safe in her room. There are the rare cases - and this is one of them. But I think statistics would show that you should worry more about lightning striking your house, than your child being abducted from their bed. My child is more at risk of drowning in the bathtub, falling down the stairs, tons of other things, than from a person that seems OK that I let sleep over.

As parents, to maintain our sanity, to raise a child who is not terrified of their own shadow, we have to rank the threats, try to protect them, but to be going to the police department for every friend, every aquaintance, and even every friend you allow to sleep over for a few days - it seems excessive. Not a bad idea - but not something I'd ever condemn a parent for failing to do.

She wasn't being left alone with him, she was asleep in her bedroom, in the same house as her parents were. This is a safe option almost every time. For the overwhelming majority of people who are not pedophiles. For the overwhelming majority of pedophiles who are not so careless and desperate as to take a child from the same house as where her parents are sleeping. The odds of being hit by lightning (1 in 3000) are greater than the odds of this going wrong, IMO.

It happens - we read it in the news - because it is rare, and thus, news. Lots of rare things happen. If we spend all our time worrying about them, we can fail to take care of the far more common things that can go wrong.

 

[pixies]

Fine. Fair enough. Then don't let ANYONE spend the night in your house you do not know extremely well. That would have prevented this.

Yep, I don't know if you are being sarcastic or not but I have to say this is exactly true.

 

[txsvicki]

I'd never let any men other than my son or son in laws spend the night in my home. I don't want friends or other relatives around who can't take care of themselves and end up with no place to stay. Many pepdophiles are purposely single and seek out friends or women with children just so they can get into the family situation so they can molest.

 

[bakerprune64]

Well I don't know a lot of working class parents near the poverty line who have the time to go to the local police station with their kids in tow (they don't have a babysitter and can't afford one) and wait around while someone assists them to look up some guy whose real name they might not even know (or know how to spell) on the RSO list.

Let's be realistic here - parents are busy - especially working parents with sometimes multiple jobs - not to mention working SINGLE parents and a lot of them are barely making it as it is - and we expect them to be at the Police Station checking out every male they know every week? I daresay many parents of missing kids who did NOTHING WRONG did not even know the RSO's in their area before their kids went missing. Some of them didn't even own a computer or have the internet at home. It is comparable - these parents are real parents who did NOTHING WRONG and lost their children to a RSO they didn't know was a threat to their children.

It shouldn't be so hard to keep up with these creeps - they should be easily indentifiable on SIGHT! Why don't schools send home a list? Parents have so many things to worry about - and asking them to be private detectives and visit a police station every week or two to look up sex offenders is ridiculous. All the single middle class Moms I know don't have time to get their hair cut or do anything for themselves - they work all day and do "kid activities" the rest of the time - they barely have time to read their e-mail - checking out RSO's might happen every 6 months, not every week. And the Hispanic parents I know - 75% do NOT have a computer or know how to use one and most are illegal - they certainly are NOT gonna go walking into a Police Station to check out RSO's. And do you think pedophiles don't KNOW who the most vulnerable kids are??? They specialize in knowing!

The only people I know who are checking the RSO list regularly are mothers (and fathers) who are like WS'ers - concerned and who have the time and focus to keep up with the information. In our neighborhood one mother keeps the other parents informed of the RSO's in OUR AREA - but I doubt most of the "upper class" parents around here ever think of checking out their friends and co-workers. They just don't. They just figure the CPA or Dr or Lawyer they know who lives with his wife in a nice fancy big house is "OK".

I cannot (and will not) condemn parents without knowing the whole story. What if this is a long-time family friend, the step-son of a relative (by marriage) or someone they have known since childhood?? IF they have known this person a long time and have NEVER had reason to check him out (and no-one told them) why would they know he was a RSO? Maybe his parents and family don't even know he is a RSO? What was the conviction for? Was it a rape - or a statutory rape (big difference) - was it a child or an adult - what is the story there? I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who have sat down and looked up every man they know or have known (related or not) in their life from childhood forward to see if they are on the RSO list. I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who ask for ID's and then look up every male above puberty who comes to their house or is at a family event. It just doesn't happen because we think our kids are safe under our roof and that we can always protect them from bad things and bad people.

Like I said, people make mistakes ... lets say you are a 35 year old guy and have a party, and a friend gets really drunk and you do the "right thing" - take their keys and allow them to sleep it off on your floor or couch. Do you 1st check to see if they are a RSO? What if you are married? Does your wife check? What if you have kids? Do you check then? What if its 3AM and you AND the friend have to get up early the next day and go to work? Do you check then? What if the friend is someone you know really well, do you check then?

It's easy to judge other people - hindsight is always a perfect 20/20. There are no perfect parents out there and even the best ones have all made mistakes. Under a microscope no-one looks good.

My Opinion

It doesn't matter how financially sound you are or aren't. If you (not you in particluar, but you as in general) don't accept the fact that your most important job no matter how much money you have is to secure the safety of your children, then why the hell have them to start with. I don't know many people who would use single motherhood with low income jobs as an excuse not to keep your kids safe.

I don't have the spare time to check people out...I make the time. Work full time, have 3 kids and their activities...I make the choice to do the right thing by them all.

My opinion!

 

[bakerprune64]

Fine. Fair enough. Then don't let ANYONE spend the night in your house you do not know extremely well. That would have prevented this.

Yep pretty much what you said!:clap:

 

[philamena]

Add to that the importance of not allowing your children to stay with friends when you know nothing about their parents.
I had very strict rules about that when my girls were young.

 

[bakerprune64]

Add to that the importance of not allowing your children to stay with friends when you know nothing about their parents.
I had very strict rules about that when my girls were young.

Yep that too. I've checked them all out.

 

[MCDRAW]

Not everyone has a computer in their home. Not everyone speaks English. Not everyone checks out friends or friends of friends to see if they are RSO's. This was not a small child, but a teenager - sometimes parents relax as children get older and are out driving etc. Obviously the parents were paying attention - they discovered her (and the ) missing at 3AM - not like they were absent or neglectful or unaware or not keeping track of where their child was. Parents up checking things at 3AM are not neglecting their kids. We do NOT KNOW the entire circumstances here, obviously the parents did not know this was a RSO - not like they have RSO branded on their foreheads (they should, but they don't). And what's the deal with this guy returning to the house with the girl at 6AM - was he gonna sneak back in with the girl or something? Going back doesn't make much sense if he actually kidnapped and raped her ?? Why would he take her back home? What would be his reasoning for even driving by the house with her in the car once he had gotten away with her once? Do we know if he even touched her? Maybe he didn't assault or rape her at all, just "took her" for 3 hours cause he was drunk and he saw her in the hallway or something? We are condemning the parents and we don't even know if he was using his REAL name? Did the parents ask for his ID? Most of us don't - if we have a party and someone comes with a friend we ask a name and watch the person - we might check the name, but we all don't automatically think every male we meet might be a RSO with an assumed name.

Let's not condemn the parents - who did check on their child at 3 AM and did call LE ASAP and did take the proper action. Parents with something to hide don't call LE like these parents did - they try to cover up for their poor parenting or the RSO - like we have seen time and time again here. Not everyone knows about looking up RSO's or has the ability to do so and it doesn't appear the parents made a single mistake once they found their child and this missing. Parents are human beings who make mistakes but 99% of them would NEVER intentionally put their child at risk...but parents do make dumb mistakes (as do kids) and sometimes there are tragic results. Condemning these parents does nothing except make the next set of innocent parents with a child missing reluctant to call LE.

Condemned to die RSO Couey lived 100 yards from the innocent angel he kidnapped in the night and killed - should we hold her GParents and Father to blame because they didn't know Couey was there or had family living there? It isn't always that the parents are neglectful, sometimes it's that the system does not do enough to protect children from RSO's.

Let's celebrate that this girl made it home ALIVE and WELL and that her family was doing everything in their power to find her.

My Opinion

I agree!

 

[MCDRAW]

I had no idea you could go to the police department and find RSO's. These people are not just sex offenders...they are cons. They are good at what they do. There are people on WS that think every time something happens the children should be taken away from their parents. There are some very neglectful parents. But I think most parents are trying their best. Their goal is to protect their children. Who hasn't made a stupid decision concerning their children? I've made several all the while thinking I was protecting my child. Would I let a male friend stay in my house...NO. I don't like people in my house. But I have allowed my children to go places...thinking they were safe and they were put in unsafe circumstances. Simply those occurred not because I was neglectful but because I was naive enough that those things didn't occur to me. All I can do is learn and go. Regardless, Parents are human and they do make mistakes. Some mistakes are just not as bad as others.

 

[Filly]

Did the parents know? I don't see anything in the article saying they knew. They may have had a friend, met through work, the guy is under hard times, let him have a night or so in their home.

I'm glad she's safe, he's caught, and the judge had better lock him away forever now that he's shown he'll never change.

He was there for a month not a few nights.

Too bad for this little girl it took her getting abducted out of the security of her own bed for society to see the guy hasn't changed.

Yes, I check the RSO. I sure as heck would if somebody was staying in my home with my kids for a month. The parents may have even known the guy is a sex offender and naively trusted him around their kids. However, there's plenty of child sex offenders that have never been convicted and ones that haven't offended yet. Like Adnoid said nobody stays in his home unless he says so. If people took that stand then maybe this kid wouldn't have been pulled out of her bed, the freak wouldn't have lost his slipper and she'd still be wearing her bracelet and her da*n blanket would still be in her room.

Oh yeah and maybe she wouldn't have gotten wracked up in a car accident in the back of a trunk after probably being sexually assaulted. He wasn't taking her out of that house for a joy ride and ice cream.

 

[Bilas]

Well I don't know a lot of working class parents near the poverty line who have the time to go to the local police station with their kids in tow (they don't have a babysitter and can't afford one) and wait around while someone assists them to look up some guy whose real name they might not even know (or know how to spell) on the RSO list.

Let's be realistic here - parents are busy - especially working parents with sometimes multiple jobs - not to mention working SINGLE parents and a lot of them are barely making it as it is - and we expect them to be at the Police Station checking out every male they know every week? I daresay many parents of missing kids who did NOTHING WRONG did not even know the RSO's in their area before their kids went missing. Some of them didn't even own a computer or have the internet at home. It is comparable - these parents are real parents who did NOTHING WRONG and lost their children to a RSO they didn't know was a threat to their children.

It shouldn't be so hard to keep up with these creeps - they should be easily indentifiable on SIGHT! Why don't schools send home a list? Parents have so many things to worry about - and asking them to be private detectives and visit a police station every week or two to look up sex offenders is ridiculous. All the single middle class Moms I know don't have time to get their hair cut or do anything for themselves - they work all day and do "kid activities" the rest of the time - they barely have time to read their e-mail - checking out RSO's might happen every 6 months, not every week. And the Hispanic parents I know - 75% do NOT have a computer or know how to use one and most are illegal - they certainly are NOT gonna go walking into a Police Station to check out RSO's. And do you think pedophiles don't KNOW who the most vulnerable kids are??? They specialize in knowing!

The only people I know who are checking the RSO list regularly are mothers (and fathers) who are like WS'ers - concerned and who have the time and focus to keep up with the information. In our neighborhood one mother keeps the other parents informed of the RSO's in OUR AREA - but I doubt most of the "upper class" parents around here ever think of checking out their friends and co-workers. They just don't. They just figure the CPA or Dr or Lawyer they know who lives with his wife in a nice fancy big house is "OK".

I cannot (and will not) condemn parents without knowing the whole story. What if this is a long-time family friend, the step-son of a relative (by marriage) or someone they have known since childhood?? IF they have known this person a long time and have NEVER had reason to check him out (and no-one told them) why would they know he was a RSO? Maybe his parents and family don't even know he is a RSO? What was the conviction for? Was it a rape - or a statutory rape (big difference) - was it a child or an adult - what is the story there? I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who have sat down and looked up every man they know or have known (related or not) in their life from childhood forward to see if they are on the RSO list. I don't know many parents who have not lost a child who ask for ID's and then look up every male above puberty who comes to their house or is at a family event. It just doesn't happen because we think our kids are safe under our roof and that we can always protect them from bad things and bad people.

Like I said, people make mistakes ... lets say you are a 35 year old guy and have a party, and a friend gets really drunk and you do the "right thing" - take their keys and allow them to sleep it off on your floor or couch. Do you 1st check to see if they are a RSO? What if you are married? Does your wife check? What if you have kids? Do you check then? What if its 3AM and you AND the friend have to get up early the next day and go to work? Do you check then? What if the friend is someone you know really well, do you check then?

It's easy to judge other people - hindsight is always a perfect 20/20. There are no perfect parents out there and even the best ones have all made mistakes. Under a microscope no-one looks good.

My Opinion

I'm sorry but It really doesn't take that much to check for RSO! I mean go to the local library and do a check. I work 2 jobs and my wife works and I am sure going to check out who is sleeping in my house with my children there! I don't care who it is I am checking them out. I am busy but thats no excuse find time for your kids safety! And whats all the talk about why he was driving by the house at 6am and did he rape her yada yada... He was a RSO she was in the trunk! He deserves to fry!

my opinion...

 

[bakerprune64]

I'm sorry but It really doesn't take that much to check for RSO! I mean go to the local library and do a check. I work 2 jobs and my wife works and I am sure going to check out who is sleeping in my house with my children there! I don't care who it is I am checking them out. I am busy but thats no excuse find time for your kids safety! And whats all the talk about why he was driving by the house at 6am and did he rape her yada yada... He was a RSO she was in the trunk! He deserves to fry!

my opinion...

I agree on all counts!:clap:

 

[TGIRecovered]

Nice post, Filly.

 

[Filly]

Nice post, Filly.

Well, thank you, TGIRecovered. Yes, it's not like the kid had a choice. She's not paying the rent or the mortgage. Too bad the dude didn't kidnap the parents out their beds, and put them in a trunk.

A month. The dude was there for an entire month. God knows what else happened. It really gets to me when people say "Well now we know. Now we can lock him up". The damage is done. Get abducted, and probably sexually assaulted and shoved in a trunk and then get in an accident. I'm pretty sure the poor kid ain't thinking "Well good now everyone knows and if it had to be I was the sacrificial lamb so be it". Counseling for a long, long time.

 

[crypto6]

I'm sorry but It really doesn't take that much to check for RSO! I mean go to the local library and do a check. I work 2 jobs and my wife works and I am sure going to check out who is sleeping in my house with my children there! I don't care who it is I am checking them out. I am busy but thats no excuse find time for your kids safety! And whats all the talk about why he was driving by the house at 6am and did he rape her yada yada... He was a RSO she was in the trunk! He deserves to fry!

my opinion...

I don't think many parents check RSO sites; the best way to describe these parents is like MCDRAW said, naive. Almost everyone on WS has the mindset to vet anyone they let into their lives; it's part of the territory we share. Surely the actions of the parents are an integral part of what happened to their child; blameworthy? In our group, yes. In the future when the great extent of this perversion is known, yes. I just can't blame everyone for not thinking like us now; some people are positive and trusting about others as a way of life and don't know the proximity of the danger to their children. Not a very smart way to live to us, as we see the potential and realized damage. But there is a cost to being suspicious, a psychological price to pay for not giving others the benefit of the doubt.

To me, it's much like smoking before we all knew the disasterous consequences; common knowledge hadn't caught up to the scientific reality. As an illustrative question, how do you feel about checking RSO on females staying in your home? Statistically much rarer, but does happen, esp in conjunction with a perv BF; do we ask about her friends and check them? And then there are the pervs charged but not convicted; should we Google every male in contact with children? Go down to the courthouse and see if they've ever been arrested or charged? BTW, these are not anagonistic questions; after being on WS a while, I'm with you on this one, just not so strongly as to blame the parents in this case. Certainly they are foolish and naive. I'm more interested in how far the posters here think we should take investigating those around children.

C6

 

[Filly]

C2, see my experience is the opposite. I know alot of parents that check the sex offender registry. Here's the problem. Some of these parents have not a clue what their kids are doing. It is easy to go to the computer and slap in your Zipcode. Tell the kid to not go past Mr. Smith's house. Yet these same women allow a friends new mate to pick up their kids. They allow their kids in vehicles with other women friends they've just met, and don't know well. These kids are in and out of people's homes all day long come summertime.

One time my neighbors come to the door all up in arms because Joe Scmoe is a sex offender. They have fliers made up from their own search. All I could so was ask did they put in other Zipcodes? They look at me like I'm out of my mind. I told them like this "For everyone of THAT guy there's one who wasn't convicted. There's also someone who has not offended YET. Whose child will be first? Oh and ummmmmmm sex offenders have vehicles. They can walk for God's sake out of a zipcode.". Bottom line talk with your kids, and communicate. Have their trust, and by all means know what they are doing instead of allowing them all over the place at all times of the day and night.

We all make mistakes as parents. We all can maybe be naive. When it comes to having you child abducted because you allowed the person under your roof that's big time. I didn't post this child should be t aken from her parents. Right now this kid needs her family. She's going to need alot of counseling. Being shoved in a trunk of a car after being abducted from your bed? Big, big mistake. Also we don't know anymore about this case. Who knows why the guy was there for a month? There's more to it than some down on his luck dude who needed a hand.

 

[Bilas]

I don't think many parents check RSO sites; the best way to describe these parents is like MCDRAW said, naive. Almost everyone on WS has the mindset to vet anyone they let into their lives; it's part of the territory we share. Surely the actions of the parents are an integral part of what happened to their child; blameworthy? In our group, yes. In the future when the great extent of this perversion is known, yes. I just can't blame everyone for not thinking like us now; some people are positive and trusting about others as a way of life and don't know the proximity of the danger to their children. Not a very smart way to live to us, as we see the potential and realized damage. But there is a cost to being suspicious, a psychological price to pay for not giving others the benefit of the doubt.

To me, it's much like smoking before we all knew the disasterous consequences; common knowledge hadn't caught up to the scientific reality. As an illustrative question, how do you feel about checking RSO on females staying in your home? Statistically much rarer, but does happen, esp in conjunction with a perv BF; do we ask about her friends and check them? And then there are the pervs charged but not convicted; should we Google every male in contact with children? Go down to the courthouse and see if they've ever been arrested or charged? BTW, these are not anagonistic questions; after being on WS a while, I'm with you on this one, just not so strongly as to blame the parents in this case. Certainly they are foolish and naive. I'm more interested in how far the posters here think we should take investigating those around children.

C6

I'm sorry but in this day and age I check everyone coming and **Living** with me and my children. It's sad but this is the world we live in! It's better to be safe than sorry. You don't have to be a kook and live in a bunker away from all people just have common sense!


I don't know all the ins and outs with the parents on this case I am saying in general everyone not only people here should check on people living among your children, wife, etc... Some sick parents even let RSO live amongst there children as we just witnessed in the news recently.