CA - Rayanna Nail, 10, dies of drug OD, Klamath, 31 July 2009

  • #101
thank you for you kind words. I am happy to give Rayanna and my brother n sister a voice with all this negative crap out here. I am sorry it comes off so strong and I realy think those of you with open minds and know that any mother in their right mind would never intionally put their child in harms way. There was a saftey plan set up that the mother followed to a T she was supposed to call her mom if Ray was going to go down to her trailer, ( my brother and his family lived in a house) and she did so, Terry (i cant call her grandma) was supposed to say no she cant come down if she had been taking pills, and was supposed to keep her pills locked up. My sister inlaw did keep hers under lock and key at all times but unknowen to her Terrys lock was broke on her safe. Ray did not take the pills that we can tell till around bed time and they stayed up late playing cards that night. They had such a good day. The county droped the ball here and my niece has to pay for it. But thank you for keeping us in your prayers and I will answer any questions from people that are not negative and hurtfull(like the one that said my sister wanted her daughter dead and my nephew shuld be taken away.

I am so sorry for your loss. However, you all expected a known drug addict to tell the truth? They never, especially if under the influence, tell the truth.
 
  • #102
ok go back and read........she did call but did not imadeatly send her down for the potatos. as far as your view u are entitled to your view. BUT UNTILL ANY OF U HAVE A MOTHER LIKE THAT AND ARE GOING THREW THIS AND ARE GOING BUY WHAT CPS SAID YOU CANT SAY WHO IS RIGHT OR WRONG OR WHAT YOU WOULD DO IN THE SAME, AS NEITHER CAN I AND AM HER AUNT
I am not trying to be arguementative but none of the facts presented so far change my opinion whatsoever. If anything it has supported that Gma was completely out of control with a substance abuse problem that everyone was aware of, and that a responsible mother would not let any child, let alone one that has ODed repeatedly, anywhere near her. Safe or no safe that is unexplainable to me.

And I am also confused since Gma is passed out with pills around in one scenario, but earlier it was stated that mom called over to Gma's before the potato run. The news says they live two doors from each other, so Gma was alert and didn't sound impaired during that call but was passed out in a drug induced stupor when the daughter arrives?
 
  • #103
Um your coworker would have of gotten her trailer from the gma///////the mom does not live in a trailer. And yes she does have white powder arounds her nose and lips because she chews her pills not swallows them........so yes your coworker is right....and how do you know my sister in law and brother to be able to say the things you are saying.
in today's paper, gma pleads not guilty, is released until next court date. Mom parades daughter's urn around court room and pleads to the court not to release her mother. Also a letter to the editor, which you will be able to read tomorrow. (along with today's article, which also mentions that the two times she did od, she was in grandma's care)

my coworker said something about these people being the people she bought her trailer from, and that when she went to get it or pay for it, one had white powder all around her nose, and claimed to have just taken her pills. I wasn't listening close enough to discern if she was talking about mom or grandma.
 
  • #104
For all u people that dont know the facts, i am rayanna's aunt, the mother did call and was not informed by terry that she has taken the pills and was told it was ok for ray to go get the potatos. I have know terry 4, 7 years and never have seen her sober, the term soma'd out comes from loving tery. If u take 1 or 2 somas it's like u are drunk but when you take 10-15 you dont know what you are doing. And tery does walk around(if u want to call it walking) and does stuff till she passes out. She also does get back into her meds and takes more pills, its like a drucken black out.swallow pills, thats foregin to terry ,she chews them to get high faster. Kris has been trying to keep her daughter safe since the first od. She keeps her pills locked up in a safe with the key around her neck at all times. She even went as far as to take terrys pills away and monitor how many she gets, yes she did let ray go to grandmas now and then but it was only when she knew she didnt take or have any pills. Then terry started taking pills out of the bottle before giving them to kris without kris's kowledge. She didnt know she had to count her moms pills after filling every script. She did everything in her power to keep her kids safe around a addict. She would not let them go over there when she knew she was high. For the person that wrote that she wanted her daughter dead,,u are a sick f@*&, and as far as my nephew he is here with me. All u people put yourself in a place where u loose you kid by your mothers hand and then talk. Untill then you couldnt even remotley understand. Kris and kc terys son has had a very hard life being raised by terry. The sistem failed my niece. My sister inlaw was talking to the county about a mental hospital for help, she was a very troubled child and had alot of roblems. Hell the hosital didnt even call cps after the first od.and that was straight from sheilas mouth at cps in crescent city ca. The parents of ray tried everything they could to get help and keep her safe, even went so far as to put her on ssi so they would have more help options. On july 31fst kris called her mom and asked if it was ok for ray to come and get potatos for dinner,she was told yes(she should have been told no because she had already taken her pills and if anyone knows anything about soma they kick in between 5-15 min and she takes 10-15 at a time) 10 min later ray left to go get the potatos and came home saying grandma was on the couch sitting up somad out. After going to bed kris was awoken at 2:30 am with ray pukeing, she had a rash and a fever. Kris asked her if she had taken anything ray responded no mom why would u ask that i will never do that again. She gave her tyleol thought she had a bug or poison oak and was going to take her to the dr in the morn. She laid down beneath ray on the bottom bunk and heald her hand as they went back to sleep. My brother went to wake ray at 8:30 am to go to the mall to get new school clothes for ray, she would not respond to his voice, he went over to the bed and nudged her arm, she did not respond, he climbed up onto the bottom bunk and turned her over and saw the worst thing in his life, his daughter of 7 years was gone. He panicked pulled her off the bed and laid her on the floor and did cpr untill the paramedics got there. In the meantime loving grandma comes down and the only thing she could do was slap my nice over and over again in the face and yell a her to come out of it....come out of what? How could she know what she needed to come out of. I pray none of u have to go threw this.

My prayers for your family - I cannot imagine what pain you all must be feeling.

Most of us will never fully know all the ins and outs of the cases we discuss on the internet so casually, and my stomach sometimes churns at the unkindness of strangers.
 
  • #105
I am so sorry for your loss. However, you all expected a known drug addict to tell the truth? They never, especially if under the influence, tell the truth.

I'm not sure what you mean here - could you elaborate?
 
  • #106
First let me say I am sorry for your families loss.

How did the county drop the ball? I am not following that?
The MOM and GRANDMA did. The mom knew Grandma got high off her drugs so why would she trust Grandma would be honest about when she took the drugs? She was a drug abuser the mom knew this( HOW could she not by what the aunt is saying) the mom took a chance and it cost her her daughters life. So no I am sorry but the mom did not do everything she could a child's life was lost because the mom and grandma did not do what was needed which was watch this child and make sure she was safe at all times and personally I dont care who disagree's with me or gets mad at my post. a Innocent CHILD was lost.
 
  • #107
Well if u knew aything about soma its just like being drunk. Same fuctioning, same blackouts, same fuzzy head and not rembering. And some people not going to mention names(was recentaly in jail) chews pills for a faster high. Then you have minnutes 5-15 before they kick in so the sleeping with pills everywhere was a strong word a mother that lost her child used there were 4 oxys out on the table(no bottle) and somas lying on the floor because she gets dizzy(hints the acchole affect) and drops them. So there are some facts for you to sink in since you had none when you made your last quote
UGH if this happens then Why would a mom in their right mind allow their child to go down there without her being there?
 
  • #108
Wow, are you serious, how could you even say that not being there. My niece died holding her mothers hand. My niece did have problems, her mother was not drunk or messed up. She was up with her that night cuz she had a fever and was sick to her stomache. How can u even say those horriable things, give me a break people she just lost her kid and her mother. Have a heart. What happend to human nature and kindness, where the hell did it go. Is it all gone thease days?
Human nature and kindness goes out of the window when a mom , grandma and the state failed a child and she ended up dead IMO My kindness goes out to YOU her aunt and the CHILD that died but not to Grandma and mom.




I AM SOOO sorry for your lose and I hope you all find peace I will be praying for you all but I just can not find a nice word for the mom or grandma or even the state I will however pray for them.
 
  • #109
thank you for your kind words and your prayers. I am so happy that me telling our story of our devastating loss is letting the people on here know that what you read in the papers is not always true. The only thing that matters is my niece is gone, we will never hear her laughter again, never hear her voice, never see her smile, never wipe her tears,never see her babies, my brother will never walk her down the isle. People do you not see the pain, can u not be a little more respectfull? Southcitymom i thank you with all my heart for your post. And i do understand that when you read the news there are questions and everyone has and is entitled to their own opion's but thats why i am doing this. Everyone will know ray's story when i am done.
my prayers for your family - i cannot imagine what pain you all must be feeling.

Most of us will never fully know all the ins and outs of the cases we discuss on the internet so casually, and my stomach sometimes churns at the unkindness of strangers.
 
  • #110
ok go back and read........she did call but did not imadeatly send her down for the potatos. as far as your view u are entitled to your view. BUT UNTILL ANY OF U HAVE A MOTHER LIKE THAT AND ARE GOING THREW THIS AND ARE GOING BUY WHAT CPS SAID YOU CANT SAY WHO IS RIGHT OR WRONG OR WHAT YOU WOULD DO IN THE SAME, AS NEITHER CAN I AND AM HER AUNT
Until we have a mother like that????? Guess what I DID have a abusive evil mom ( she didnt do drugs but she was NOT safe ) ........... So I don't allow my kids to see her.. I keep them safe at ALL cost........ to bad this mom didnt do the same.
 
  • #111
stupidityiseverywher

People are angry at mom and the grandma bc a precious innocent child was lost because two adults could not or would not keep her safe. This could of all been avoided if Grandma locked the drugs up and if mom walked her to grandma's house to get the food. She should of never ever went alone and the mom should of never ever trusted grandma's word when she abuses drugs. People who do drugs don't always tell the truth. People are angry because this is a accident that should of NEVER happened. It was avoidable but yet was not. It was a problem in the past but people ignored it , Ignored it enough to send a CHILD down alone even if two houses down!


My love, my prayers goes out to the family ( Aunt's uncle's etc) and I will pray for both grandma and mom but I can't help but be angry at them two adults that both failed this child. The mom should of never took the risk and allowed the child to go down alone. never ever ever it was not a risk worth taking. Calling was not enough..... It's to bad it took this innocent cihld dieing for the mom to understand that.
 
  • #112
Ok here we go again. The mom did know that the gma was abbusing her med's and that is why the mom started regulating them for her, just for gma to take some out of the bottle before giving them to the mom to hold,and she didn't know she was getting them from a neighbor. If this was my mom and my daughter went to her house and od'ed i would think my mom would then do anything in her power to keep it from happening again. Addict or not. That's what kris thought. How could she have known what links her mom was going to do to get high. She is not that way and i don't care what anyone says if your not a addict you don't understand a addict. You don't know the hoops the will jump threw to get high. Fortunatly we have never been around addicts to know how they are. And when someone od's in your home a normal person would think if you are going to get high after that you will make sure your not putting your grand daughter in harms way. But we would not of knowen that till now, and it is very fricken sad that it takes this level to make people aware of how addicts act. Ive learned so much about addict behavior since this has happened. I am just sorry i was stupid till now when it comes to addicts. And yes a very beautiful life was lost because of stupidity. Cps set a plan for gma and mom to follow and mom followed it, how was she to know gma wasn't? The second time ray od'ed was a lie she lied about taking them and at that point gma was following cps order and said there was no way she could of got into the pills and of course kris did not believe her and called 911 just to find out that gma was telling the truth, that gave mom a sense of security thinking gma was doing as told. So if gma was following the cps order and the drugs were locked up and ray had no access to them(is what mom thought sinse gma told the truth on the 2nd time) would you then say that it was safe to go to gmas. No matter the situation or what i say there is going to be someone to find something else wrong. And there is something wrong my niece is gone that is what is wrong.
the mom and grandma did. The mom knew grandma got high off her drugs so why would she trust grandma would be honest about when she took the drugs? She was a drug abuser the mom knew this( how could she not by what the aunt is saying) the mom took a chance and it cost her her daughters life. So no i am sorry but the mom did not do everything she could a child's life was lost because the mom and grandma did not do what was needed which was watch this child and make sure she was safe at all times and personally i dont care who disagree's with me or gets mad at my post. A innocent child was lost.
 
  • #113
I'm not sure what you mean here - could you elaborate?

Yeah sorry about that, that was about a drug users own use etc not necessarily about life in general. Drug addicts are not known for their honesty when confronted with their drug use. I unfortunately have many drug addicts and alcoholics in my family. My oldest daughter's father is a drug addict. Telling the truth about anything going on in their life is not a strong suit. To expect them to self report and monitor their addiction honestly is like letting the fox watch the hen house IMO.

FWIW. I have never let my children be around any of these people unattended. It's just not safe to do so. Most of these people I haven't had contact with them for a decade or more. It was lonely and hard to do so. But I had no choice.
 
  • #114
i missread ur quote i thought it said bale. i believe ive posted where cps was not informed when ray od'd the first time im not sure. there were alot of things. as the time they were going to put her in a mental hospital but never followed threw, not calling cps when she did it the first time, not doing a police investagation untill it was 2 late they had 3 chances here to interviene (sp ) but did not once, my sister inlaw went as far as to get ssi 4 ray to get more help. i lived in crescent city for a long time and there is not much to say when a 36 year old woman can sleep with a 16 year old boy and cps takes the daughter of the 36 year old out of the home but the woman is never charged. this is a diffrent case that i knew of while living there.the town is full of drug addicts and nowhere and nothing for kids to do. that is why i got my kids the hell out of that town. hanging out at the local movie theater smoking pot is not the life i wanted for my kids. then u have cps taken kids out of homes where the parents have a uncontrollable teen and are doing everything to try to keep that kid safe but because you cant make the kid go into class when you drop the kid off in front of school and keep them from sneaking out and being out after 10 pm. WHAT CAN YOU DO IN A SMALL TOWN LIKE THIS WHERE THE KIDS THAT NEED HELP RALEY GET IT AND THE KIDS THAT DONT BUT DONT LIKE THE RULES AND WANT TO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO GET ALL THE HELP THEY WANT. THE SISTEM FAILED MY NIECE THERE COULD OF BEEN SO MUCH DONE FOR HER AND IF SHE WAS HERE WHERE I LIVE THERE WOULD OF BEEN SO MUCH DONE. I HATE BULLSH#@ LIKE THIS I WHISH EVERY CHILD THAT NEEDS HELP GETS IT AND THE PEOPLE THAT ABUSE THE HELP OUT THERE GETS CUT OFF. HELP THE KIDS ........ SAVE THE KIDS....
Thank you for clarifying what the county had done wrong in your view. She has been charged and will stand trial, it is pretty normal handling of a defendant that is not accused of a violent act, doesn't have a violent criminal record, hasn't failed to appear in court, and is not considered a flight risk. I can completely empathize with the amount of tension that must be present in that close of quarters.
 
  • #115
It is not really a 'fact' that grandma failed this child. She doesn't seem to know what happened at all, and according to all accounts, she was passed out. I believe, other circumstances aside, that at some point she really was passed out, and it was just a matter of convenience for Mom to make everyone, including grandma, think that's when this all happened.

Maybe Mom helped herself to a few oxys on occasion, and didn't want to get into legal trouble about why they were in the house, so naturally, blame grandma who has them, has had them, and has the added burden of being 'responsible' for two other ODs.

We all know Rayanna's not talking. Stupid decision, yes, and a troubled child, but she was a child in a less than healthy situation, no matter what the story, and for that alone I am heartbroken.

I think mom and mom alone should go down for this, and I think autopsy results are going to be very revealing...
 
  • #116
Cps set a plan for gma and mom to follow and mom followed it, how was she to know gma wasn't? The second time ray od'ed was a lie she lied about taking them and at that point gma was following cps order and said there was no way she could of got into the pills and of course kris did not believe her and called 911 just to find out that gma was telling the truth, that gave mom a sense of security thinking gma was doing as told. So if gma was following the cps order and the drugs were locked up and ray had no access to them(is what mom thought sinse gma told the truth on the 2nd time) would you then say that it was safe to go to gmas. No matter the situation or what i say there is going to be someone to find something else wrong. And there is something wrong my niece is gone that is what is wrong.

When it comes to children, you protect them no matter what. When you know your child is troubled, and your family has some issues, you ACCOMPANY YOUR MINOR-AGE CHILD INTO THE SITUATION THAT HAS CAUSED THE MOST HARM, or, even better, you keep them away from it altogether. Go get your own potatoes, if you must. :rolleyes:

I don't care if 'grandma told the truth the 2nd time'. If she didn't tell the truth the first time, that gives a 50/50 chance of a child's safety in that situation. Not good enough.

No excuses.
 
  • #117
Yeah sorry about that, that was about a drug users own use etc not necessarily about life in general. Drug addicts are not known for their honesty when confronted with their drug use. I unfortunately have many drug addicts and alcoholics in my family. My oldest daughter's father is a drug addict. Telling the truth about anything going on in their life is not a strong suit. To expect them to self report and monitor their addiction honestly is like letting the fox watch the hen house IMO.

FWIW. I have never let my children be around any of these people unattended. It's just not safe to do so. Most of these people I haven't had contact with them for a decade or more. It was lonely and hard to do so. But I had no choice.

Thanks - I hear you about addicts and honesty of use.

But so many of these questions are not black and white for me. My Dad is an alcoholic and was a using alcoholic all of my childhood -he drove with me while he was drunk or drinking many times. I definitely had some feelings and some pain surrounding his alcoholism - I will not minimize the truth of that.

That said, my Dad was my most stable parent and gave me so many good tools (along with some less than positive ones!) and has helped me immeasurably in my life and has always loved me very much, even with his feet of clay. He still does and he is still a drunk. I am so glad that no one ever really tried to take me away from him (in fact, I made the choice to go and live with him after my parents divorce) and I would never keep my children away from him today.

I agree that some addicts are toxic and unsafe and that reasonable people have to make choices about if or how to have such people in their life or around their children, but I think it's a very individual choice with no one size fits all solution.
 
  • #118
You know i am sorry to hear about your less then happy experiences in your childhood. I hate that any id has to go threw any of the bad stuff adults make the decisions to do. I totaly agree with you about the decisions being diffrent for each person and each case. I realy do believe there are alot of people that are leaving comments on here that have drug addicts or drunks or pill poppers in the family and they probely know or not knowen have their kids around them. I am sure there are grandpas and aunts and uncles that have been around peoples kids. Nobody is perfect and it is hard to not let your mom see her grandkid when she has been living next to you for her hole life.ya maybee her judgment was clouded from the love of her mother and the love of her daughter. If she would have ever now this would happen and that gma was not keeping her deal with cps ray never would have been down there. Thank you for all you have said. And your support for my family at a time like this.
thanks - i hear you about addicts and honesty of use.

But so many of these questions are not black and white for me. My dad is an alcoholic and was a using alcoholic all of my childhood -he drove with me while he was drunk or drinking many times. I definitely had some feelings and some pain surrounding his alcoholism - i will not minimize the truth of that.

That said, my dad was my most stable parent and gave me so many good tools (along with some less than positive ones!) and has helped me immeasurably in my life and has always loved me very much, even with his feet of clay. He still does and he is still a drunk. I am so glad that no one ever really tried to take me away from him (in fact, i made the choice to go and live with him after my parents divorce) and i would never keep my children away from him today.

I agree that some addicts are toxic and unsafe and that reasonable people have to make choices about if or how to have such people in their life or around their children, but i think it's a very individual choice with no one size fits all solution.
 
  • #119
You know i am sorry to hear about your less then happy experiences in your childhood. I hate that any id has to go threw any of the bad stuff adults make the decisions to do. I totaly agree with you about the decisions being diffrent for each person and each case. I realy do believe there are alot of people that are leaving comments on here that have drug addicts or drunks or pill poppers in the family and they probely know or not knowen have their kids around them. I am sure there are grandpas and aunts and uncles that have been around peoples kids. Nobody is perfect and it is hard to not let your mom see her grandkid when she has been living next to you for her hole life.ya maybee her judgment was clouded from the love of her mother and the love of her daughter. If she would have ever now this would happen and that gma was not keeping her deal with cps ray never would have been down there. Thank you for all you have said. And your support for my family at a time like this.

Thank you for your kindness and I appreciate your input on this thread.

I think sometimes when we discuss very sad cases here, we want to be able to wrap them up in a safe little package and say "This could never happen to me because I wouldn't do X, Y or Z." That is more comforting than considering the alternative.

I will keep your family in all my prayers.
 
  • #120
Yes! The Grandma is all soma'd out again quote is so disturbing!
Hmm..never heard that expression before, "soma'd out" but what do I know? I can relate to what it must mean.
That child was trouble and troubled, Grandma is not guilty, she was sick / junkie NOBODY should have sent that child anywhere near grandma without supervision especially after that child had already tested the world of pill popping.

Where is she now? I hope she is OK in some hospital the old lady was trouble too..
Interesting case going back to read. seems like Criminal negligence and they were all druggies.
Poor baby she did not stand a chance.
 

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