September 17, 2006
To My Baby Girl Tori, & My Perfect Grandson Dean,
You have no idea how many of these I have written to you, but they never get printed, so this time I have checked the guidelines & will try to stay within them, hard as that seems to be for me.
Tori, I love you beyond words and have no idea of how to go on without you. We were a matching set for 22 years. I loved every moment of them, and never in a million years thought it would end so soon. I sure didn't know what it took to be a mom when I gave birth to you, but I fell in love with you, and hoped I would learn the rest as we went along. Thank you for being the perfect daughter for me! Once we got past the colic, you were an absolute joy to be around!
I know I made mistakes over the years. I know I disappointed you at times, but I never wavered in my love for you. You will never know how grateful I am that YOU knew how much you were loved, and how I cherish the fact that you told me so on so many occasions.
Not many parents have what we had. You were my beautiful daughter, my best friend, the center of my universe. Oh Tor, I miss you so much. I never knew a heart could shatter like this. I never knew a lot of things. I wish I didnt know them now.
My beautiful baby boy Dean, what a gift from God you were! I never knew a baby like you in my life. You were perfect from the start. How lucky your Mom was to have you, as well as Grandpa & myself. You rarely cried as an infant, & almost never once you had a few months under your belt. You didnt even cry when you were teething! You were all smiles all the time.
I will always remember you trying to crawl, but you always went backwards! And your head was so heavy it would tip you over. But once you got the hang of it there was no stopping you. You would follow your Mom everywhere, except when you came here. The minute you were put on the floor you were off to find grandpa. If he wasnt in the kitchen, you would turn around & go straight to the office, never touching a single thing on your way, like most babies do. You would smile from ear to ear when you found him, & crawl up his leg onto his lap & all was right in your world. Your mom & I would peek in & laugh because Grandpa was explaining something on the computer to you, & we were staring at the screen so intently, as if you knew what he was telling you.
But of all the memories I have of you, my favorite was the last month of your lives at the pool here. Grandpa & I would start looking for you & your Mom & Daniel by 9am because we couldnt wait to be with you guys. Once again you amazed me with your love of adventure. You were never once afraid to be in the pool, you loved it! I think you thought we were in a big bathtub together. I can see you swimming (with help of course) from Daniel to Roy, and back. I can see that huge smile when you were with your Mommy in the pool. But that last weekend when you learned how to splash, was the single most perfect weekend I have ever spent in my life. Auntie Patti was with all of us that final weekend. Thank God she took so many photos of you guys. When you understood it was your little hands that was making the water splash in Grandpas face, you squealed with laughter each & every time. I remember saying to Patti, that laughter is the most beautiful sound in the world, like heaven. And no one escaped your splashes that last day. I dont know when I had seen you so happy, Tori so happy, Daniel so happy, Grandpa & me so happy, & Patti so happy. I said that day Our lives are perfect, how lucky we were.
And 3 days later my babies were gone. Everything I ever knew about life was erased. All the future plans your Mom & I had dreamt of for your future were gone. I will never understand this.
I know how lucky I was to have had the best daughter in the world for 22 years. I know how lucky I was when she brought you into this world. 10 months with an angel was a blessing too. But I wanted so much more time with you both. I expected it. I shouldnt have.
I will love & miss you every day of my life. I will forever be grateful for the time I had with you. Tori I hope you know how proud I was of you, how much you were loved, and how much you will be missed. Dean you knew how much you were loved by everyone, because you were the happiest baby on earth. You were and always will be the angels of my life. Love you, Mom & Grandma
Dayna Herroz (San Diego, CA )
http://www.legacy.com/SignOnSanDiego/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=18707838
My prayers go out to the friends and family of Tori and little Dean. I still cannot understand the lack of media attention in this case.
Those words stuck out to me too and I had to read it twice.
