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According to the article, the guy was "dry-humping" the bike (just going through the motions, so to speak).
The vacuum though, there was actual...um...penetration, as I understand it.
(Did I really just type that?)
After a google search on the 'dry-humping" the bike story I found this web-site. This is crazy...
http://www.ssrichardmontgomery.com/download/weirdsex.htm
A LOS ANGELES BUSINESSMAN, identified only as Arnold G., proposed to his
girlfriend Carol in 1984 and asked her parents for their consent. After the
engagement had been announced, Carol's father took Arnold aside and told him
his daughter was born by artificial insemination because he was unlikely to
father a child. He named the sperm bank, which turned out to be one that
Arnold had donated to as a student. Arnold obtained a court injunction to
inspect the records and found that he was the father of his bride-to-be, and
806 other children. The wedding was called off.