Josallyn Atadero, Jaryd's older sister, has been criminally underrepresented over the tumultuous years of this case. Now a wife and mother of two girls of her own, she grew up under the heavy shadow of Jaryd's disapperance. She watched her dad grapple the magnitude of losing his only son. Her dad gave her space in his book to express her thoughts on Jaryd's disappearance and the DNA results that changed their hopes forever.
A Sister’s Perspective By Josallyn Atadero
"I never truly believed Jaryd died on that mountain when he disappeared on October 2, 1999, at least not at the hands of an animal or natural occurring circumstance. Growing up without my younger brother, I always had faith he was still out in the world somewhere. The little evidence we had didn’t seem to support the fact he lost his life on the trail. I never considered the possibility Jaryd was attacked by a mountain lion, or that he fell and hit his head; maybe he drowned in the river or died of hypothermia. These situations didn’t seem probable, and because of that, I never entertained the idea one of these circumstances truly could have stolen my brother’s short-lived life. Awaiting the results of the final DNA test didn’t steer my opinions in any different direction. I was almost positive the results would come back, and we would hear that the remains found on the mountain were not Jaryd’s at all; that these results would cause some celebration in me; a new search for brighter answers; Jaryd was alive in the world somewhere and I would find out where he was and bring him home to all he had missed in the fifteen years he had been gone.
That January day when the results finally came was no different. As I heard my dad’s side of the conversation, I suddenly understood the look on his face and the shakiness in his voice. As he hung up the phone, I had that falling sensation people often have in dreams and I felt my insides rush into my chest. Spinning and twisting through a dark void that seemed to be infinite, I physically felt the blow of the news impact me. I didn’t want to cry. I had so strongly believed this would not be the answer we would hear, I failed to remember the other possibility: Jaryd was indeed gone. He wasn’t out there waiting to be found anymore; it was like the ending of a search that had lasted my entire life, although it had already finished years ago. I had lost all chances Jaryd was still somewhere out in the world. Was this actually the end? Jaryd may not physically be here anymore, but I know he left clues for our family to find, in hopes we will eventually understand the last day of his life. While the search for answers is not as optimistic as the search for Jaryd himself, it is one that will bring Jaryd home in ways that no one else would understand. Closure doesn’t come from knowing Jaryd is gone. In fact, I don’t believe closure will ever be a part of my life.
While Jaryd is absent from the world now, my belief remains strong Jaryd was not stolen from us by mere chance: by the animals or terrain on the rugged mountain where he disappeared. The assurance of his death only sparks a new fire; a longing to find the remains of Jaryd left behind in his final moments.
Through the years I have witnessed the revealing of many secrets by Jaryd. The puzzle is complex and I am confident my brother has more to share and the telling of his story is far from complete."
(
Missing: When the Son Sets, Pg. 320-321. Posted with permission)
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