I feel like a lot of what people are mentioning as warning signs and/or possible contributing factors and/or "pieces of the puzzle" are things that I myself have done or experienced. Never snuff or torture




, but definitely




and some




that, looking back, makes me mildly uncomfortable (sorry if this is too personal and I haven't watched any




in years upon years). My parents let me watch R rated movies when I was a kid-they never restricted that stuff. I remember watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my Mom when I was like, 8. I listened to some of "that" music. I have played RPG. Weird obsession with death that lasted most of my teenage years. Dabbled in drugs. I was abused as a kid.
However, I never killed anyone, life is precious to me, and I cried yesterday when I accidentally ran over a possum. Like, even during the weird teenage years where I was a bit...wild I still felt and loved and cared and...was human.
I guess what I am getting at is what is different between me and him or him and any other weird unsupervised




watching "dark" teenager out there? Mental illness? Was I born with a soul and he wasn't? What made me want to hurt myself (never others) but made him want to hurt others? Was he broken in just the "right" ways to make him into a monster? Are some people just evil? Did he hit his head as a kid making him unable to feel?
I am rambling and not making sense, but no explanation that I have heard completely satisfies my question of why the hell a 17 year old kid would do what he did to a beautiful little girl and then be like, whatever about it in court. Just does not compute.