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This crime was about power and control. Barry lost both of those things, and resorted to murder.
If Barry viewed Suzanne as an equal partner, a person capable of making decisions that he should respect, then this simply doesn't happen, and we wouldn't have wonderful lines like this:
Barry said, "And I wouldn't. I mean, if she said, 'Hey, we're gonna have a talk about this [divorce] tonight,' which she never did, I would say, 'I'm not discussin' this cause it's never gonna happen."' Pg 89.
This isn't "feeling hostile towards someone..." it feels more like "projection" to me.
There is no shortage of evidence that this viewpoint is correct, and one can look at that evidence and use logic to come to a perfectly reasonable and well supported conclusion that Barry was obsessed with image, and was a manipulator.
Like when he repeatedly expressed concerns about what Suzanne was telling others about the state of their marriage.
His damage control whenever a negative story hit the press.
Telling guests that his daughter was the only virgin in college, as one does at the dinner table.
Telling investigators that "Suzanne had an orgasm everytime..."
Using his daughters to further his interests, by dragging them into arguments, and having one run interference with a reporter, regardless of how upset this would make her (precisely the point).
Big house. Nice cars. The perfect family.
Nothing but a facade...