Connecticut school district on lockdown after shooting report at a Newtown elemen #5

[BloodshotEye]

Here's a friend of NL's and I think that whatever the diagnosis this symptom he describes (difficulties in bonding, connecting, expressing emotion, being affectionate) is probably rather important in what was wrong with AL:

Quote:
Another friend, Rich Collins, said Nancy had a hard time dealing with her son’s difficulties — especially his inability to express love.

“She would get very upset that he wouldn’t let her hug him,”...
....
“She was proud of the boys, but she would get upset about Adam not being affectionate,” he said.

Nancy would take Adam to a nearby shooting range to try to forge a bond with him, he said.

“This was something she could do to connect with her son, who couldn’t show emotions toward her,” Collins, 54, told The Post.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/mother_devoted_her_life_to_him_then_PADqWsNSMfrx3KnO6JnlrI

My Comment: If this is an accurate recollection, it suggests something interesting to me. Trying not to 'read' too much into this... In any case, I'm looking at this issue: Nancy L had a hard time dealing with her son's inability to express love, and attempted to bond with him via an interest in guns. I'm wondering if an alternative would have been suggested, if AL and Nancy would have been under the care of a mental health care professional.

In a round-about-way, it speaks of the profound isolation around these two. And Nancy L, desperately trying to save her child; and establish a connection in any way she could.

Will be interesting to note, when she began to include the activity/interest of the firing range. It may begin to chronicle the timeline, of when his mental health began to change markedly.

sorry to be so long winded

 

[gngr~snap]

She also isn't telling the complete truth. There are many mediations available that could sedate a Tyrannosaurus Rex. This mom CHOOSES not to give her allegedly violent son such antipsychotic medication.

This mom has a blog where she has written cruel posts about her children in which she fantasizes about beating them, locking them up and giving them away. On her blog, her allegedly violent son is presented as a normal boy who makes her furious by being messy, buying excessive MacIntosh products and supporting democrats.

I refuse to post this wench's blog address, but you can google it under Anarchist Soccer Mom. Oh yeah.....her blog has advertisements on it. I wonder if she bashed her son and then went on NBC with her "story" for $$$$$$$ reasons.

:worms: Just my opinion

 

[belimom]

I am curious about the report from the ATF that both Nancy and Adam Lanza went to shooting ranges, together and separately. Would Adam have been legally allowed to shoot at a range without a gun that was licensed to him? I thought that he was too young to own a firearm in Connecticut, so he would have to have brought one of this mother's guns. I don't know how shooting ranges work, but I would think that would not be legal.

You do not have to own the gun, if you are with someone else or bring your own. I don't think they check when you arrive. There is a minimum age limit, but we have ranges near us that will allow children over the age of 12, as long as they are with a parent. Other states will allow 10-yr-olds, based on what I've read.

 

[QueenD]

Everyone here that followed the Haleigh Cummings case is aware of the Putnam county sheriff office, they updated their FB page to a memorial for the CT victims.

Can't link it on this ding dang iPad.

 

[twall]

I do not have a link (yet) so take this FWIW
I did hear on CNN about an 1 1/2 -2 hours ago that Lanza was NOT
listed as being in the public school system until 9th grade. 2007? I believe

That is not to say that he didn't go to a private school where he was bullied...:moo:

He went to middle school named St. Rose Middle School in Newton, CT which is probably a private Catholic school.

see photo caption at link

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/conne...er-visited-gun/story?id=17992396#.UM-e7G9ZXSg

 

[QueenD]

I have HLN on and they just mentioned that within the past hour or two several police cars sped past them towards NL's house. They said no lights are visible from the front of the house which makes them believe they are either in the back part of the house or in the basement if there is one. Anyone else hear anything about this?

Person giving pressed today ( sorry didn't get his name) says both sites are active crime scenes and are being guarded.

 

[callyn]

I haven't commented on this thread yet and not sure if this has been said.

Being a School Psychologist, I work with many troubled kids. I know that many parents seek mental health care for their kids that is often non-existentent or insufficient.

However - and I want to say this the right way since his mother lost her own life here: receiving approx. $280,000 a year in alimony is plenty enough to provide the best team of doctors for her son. And more than enough to provide a gun safe/cabinet.

We've heard from a teacher or two who said that Adam would sometimes take flight from the school. We've heard from a past sitter who said the mom told him to never turn his back on Adam (when he was much younger).

We don't know how he got ahold of the guns or if he was getting any psychiatric treatment, but an terrible tragedy will get even more horrific if it turns out that (1) the guns were not locked up, or (2) he was not getting any psychiatric care.

BBM
IMO this statement has been sensationalized by the media and others. I believe she meant that Adam could injure himself when the babysitter wasn't watching. Remember, he did not feel pain and was in danger of hurting himself and not knowing he was injured or actually possibly harming himself on purpose. I don't for a moment believe it was to warn the babysitter that Adam might injure him. MOO

 

[gngr~snap]

I have HLN on and they just mentioned that within the past hour or two several police cars sped past them towards NL's house. They said no lights are visible from the front of the house which makes them believe they are either in the back part of the house or in the basement if there is one. Anyone else hear anything about this?

Yes I saw/heard it on CNN.

 

[mck16]

I totally agree. And what we still don't know is what help, if any, Adam's mother sought.

I don't know how to pull a transcript from a Fox show but today on Megan Kelly's show she had a panel of people discussing asbergers syndrome. They each had a child who had been diagnosed and they were also leaders of various organizations. Anyway one of the men, who I believe knew NL and AL, made the comment that AL was on strong medication for his illness. I don't know how he knew this or what he was basing it on, but I guess we will find out if it is true when toxicology is released.

If someone can tell me how to get the transcript or video I will go back and get it. tia

 

[grammieto5]

I assume he was at home playing on his computer. Being a parent to a high maintenance child doesn't mean you're not allowed to leave the house. It's legal and can even be quite enjoyable to have a drink now and then if one is over 21. And if she was looking for colleges for him, and if he had taken college courses by himself in the last 3 years she must not have felt that he needed 24/7 care the way he did when he was younger.

LOL yes it is legal, and I for sure have no problem with getting away from reality for awhile. I was asking because I was thinking of her telling her friend she felt like she was losing him, I know that's an awful way to feel.
So I was curious as to what Adam was doing when his mom was sitting in a bar two or three nights a week. I have no negative thoughts towards the mom, it's just one og the many things I've been wondering about this case.

 

[jjenny]

yet another HERO....god bless Mr Rosen for being there and providing a safe place.

So six children escaped alive from Ms. Soto's class.

 

[jjenny]

LOL yes it is legal, and I for sure have no problem with getting away from reality for awhile. I was asking because I was thinking of her telling her friend she felt like she was losing him, I know that's an awful way to feel.
So I was curious as to what Adam was doing when his mom was sitting in a bar two or three nights a week. I have no negative thoughts towards the mom, it's just one og the many things I've been wondering about this case.

I imagine he was sitting at home playing his computer games.

 

[michmi]

I've been wondering where Adam was when his mom was sitting a bar two or three nights a week????

Thank you. I don't begrudge her some time to herself, but from multiple articles she spent a great deal of time at the bar.

It may be the culture of the town, I don't know. There is an element of that culture here in Michigan, where "everybody" stops in for a drink on the way home.

 

[mikeysmommom]

Calling police is not the answer if the mother truly cares for the child. Doing so can cause the child to escalate in the presence of police. What does the mother expect the police to do? Shoot the child? Arrest him for terroristic threats? What does giving the kid a rap sheet accomplish that is worthwhile? Arresting and throwing mentally ill kids into youth facilities simply exposes them to other very troubled youth and violence can result. Cops aren't parents and are trained to protect themselves and will do so. Tossing a mentally-ill child into the criminal justice system accomplishes nothing worthwhile for the child but that's just my opinion.

With all due respect I can tell you have never had to deal with a mentally ill child or adult.Those of us who have know some times you have no choice.How do you get a big teen or adult into your auto when they are getting violent?

 

[not_my_kids]

Police arrest and prosecutors charge crimes, not judges. And I fail to see how a Judge can order someone to a state hospital if they haven't been convicted of a crime.

JMO

NGRI is an affirmative defense and therefore, an affirmative finding of guilt. However, the insanity portion of finding the person guilty of the crime, keeps them from being responsible for the crime. In other words, the system is acknowledging that the person committed the crime, giving them the ability to have some discretion over the person's future, but does not give them criminal responsibility for their actions.

 

[belimom]

Calling police is not the answer if the mother truly cares for the child. Doing so can cause the child to escalate in the presence of police. What does the mother expect the police to do? Shoot the child? Arrest him for terroristic threats? What does giving the kid a rap sheet accomplish that is worthwhile? Arresting and throwing mentally ill kids into youth facilities simply exposes them to other very troubled youth and violence can result. Cops aren't parents and are trained to protect themselves and will do so. Tossing a mentally-ill child into the criminal justice system accomplishes nothing worthwhile for the child but that's just my opinion.

We've had to call police when a student was throwing chairs and desks at staff. No one could get near him b/c of objects he was using as weapons. I can imagine the same thing happens at home. Believe it or not, as children get older and rival their parents in size and strength, they can be dangerous - to themselves and others.

 

[DEPUTYDAWG]

Thanks for this Deputydawg. I thirst for little nuggets like this to help me through this story. Did you see the pic with little Emilie's siblings?

You aren't the only one who has had a change of heart about Obama, if not of policy, but thinking he is a really good man with how he is handling this tragedy. A parent at the vigil never supported Obama and wrote a piece saying he feel sorry for the things he said and thought about him, that the ability to come in and help heal broken hearts and give a speech that meant something made him see him as a good man, a decent man. The speech made him heal, while still broken, he saw he is on this earth for something. wish i could find the link.

Silky,

I have...I saw that picture last night and I was so glad/relieved to see the parents smiling...if only in that one moment of time. And the other girls, dressed up so precious, and smiling...not knowing what's really going on.

I probably won't change my mind about Obama and politics, but I have seen him talking as a father and parent since Friday, and knowing how it has affected us, just watching...imagine the heavy load on him and high expectations to be strong, for us (as a nation), in addition to feeling grief for these families. Ugh.

Sometimes a POTUS visiting a site causes so many logistical nightmares, that I sometimes wonder if it's worth the few minutes on the ground. In this instance, I'm going to assume it really, really helped these families, and that makes it all worth it. I'm glad he chose to go, and so soon.

 

[MissSunshine]

There is no meds for Asperger's; behavior modification, therapy, OT, and maybe an IEP but there is no drug to "fix" it. If he was on meds, it was for something else that can occur with Asperger's like depression, anxiety or OCD or on meds for a completely different things.

I do hope that the toxicology reports come back and say what kind of meds he was on so the media will stop with the whole Asperger thing. I do worry however, that the damage is already done and kids with AS will have to deal with the backlash.

I don't know how to pull a transcript from a Fox show but today on Megan Kelly's show she had a panel of people discussing asbergers syndrome. They each had a child who had been diagnosed and they were also leaders of various organizations. Anyway one of the men, who I believe knew NL and AL, made the comment that AL was on strong medication for his illness. I don't know how he knew this or what he was basing it on, but I guess we will find out if it is true when toxicology is released.

If someone can tell me how to get the transcript or video I will go back and get it. tia

 

[grammieto5]

I have an acquaintance who has a son with high functioning autism and though I've never met the boy, from what she says he seems like a very sweet boy. IMO, autism and/or Asperger's are not the cause of violent tendencies, there's something else at work. But I'm not a doctor or specialist, so what do I know. I'd be interested to see if brain scans of autism and Asperger's patients show a lack of functioning in the brain's empathy centers. Does anyone know if this has been researched and verified?

I will say that she is devoted to the boy and her world very much revolves around him and finding natural means (diet, etc.) to help his condition. IMO, this appears to be the case with a lot of mothers and family members, the autistic child becomes their life's work. There's a part of me that wonders if that may have a negative impact because once the child is grown, they are suddenly thrust into a world that doesn't revolve around them. I would think that would be very frightening and leave the grown child feeling exceedingly vulnerable. JMO and all that.

YES! This is why I was wondering what Adam was doing while his Mom was at the bar. Her world seemed to be all about Adam, so I wonder what would he do if his Mom was not there. Maybe as some have said his computor will tell.

 

[Abby Normal Again]

Unfortunately, I think your idea of "handled correctly" and that of law enforcement differ greatly. Cops are trained to protect the public and protect themselves first and foremost. I'm glad it worked out for your friend but lock-up detention facilities are not the right place to treat mental illnesses in children. We've got an inmate with the disorder and he spends a lot of time in the "hole." He's got some serious issues with confinement.

JMO

I agree about kids. I think gentle is always better than shocked straight methods. Jmo.

In Kimster's defense, if my husband (a high functioning Aspie) hit me I would call police. All she seems to be saying is that being on the spectrum is no get out of jail free card. With that, I agree. And that said- the idea is laughable. Retreat, yes. Violence? No way.

But I pretty much never think pulling up to a police station is an ideal disciplinary option. I think as parents it's our job to be more creative than that. IMO.