Connecticut school district on lockdown after shooting report at a Newtown elemen #9

[Jilllian]

It would have benefitted the killer to have been enrolled in an Asperger's support group. A large therapy group with numerous psychologists and therapists in my area has a teen/young adult group for their clients. Every other week they meet together to make friends/socialize/have fun. There were probably groups like this near the killer's home too. No one should be isolated.

IF Adam was on the Autism Spectrum, he likely would have needed Nancy to force him to go. Making friends is oftentimes very difficult, if not impossible for many on the spectrum. Being isolated was his comfort zone.

Which makes me wonder if his rampage had anything to do with possible future plans Nancy may have had to bring him out of his comfort zone.

 

[katydid23]

I can imagine how hard this was KATY

I can relate to your experiences with your brother

Our brother had similar ramblings of fantastical experiences or thoughts

We also had to have 911/LE intervene about 50 times in 30 years of dealing with our brother's delusional episodes

Hang in there is all anyone can say and support, love your brother, be kind, be patient. I know exactly what your family is going through

Thank you. My brother is 56 now, lives alone and is kind of stabilized by his strong meds. I have almost no contact with him though, because he was certain that my husband was the lead CIA agent trying to kill him. :cry:

 

[sorrell skye]

Yes, that has been reported, but if he really was a vegan he was certainly a poorly-nourished one. I know a number of vegans and they are healthy-appearing--I want to say that the label of "vegan" may be something his mother placed on him when she was ordering salads to take home to him. Vegans are usually pretty interested in general health, sitting and playing video games for hours on end and appearing emaciated certainly don't go along with the lifestyle.

IIRC, it was reported that he was a vegan because he didn't want to hurt animals.

Apparently, his alleged empathy for animals did not extend to the human victims of his brutal massacre.

 

[CHERIE.T]

Thank you. My brother is 56 now, lives alone and is kind of stabilized by his strong meds. I have almost no contact with him though, because he was certain that my husband was the lead CIA agent trying to kill him. :cry:

Oh Katy, Im so sorry!

 

[passionflower]

I have a friend who has gone to college for law enforcement, psychology and is
a parole officer.
He said that allot of officers relate 4 shots to mothers face as a sexual assault.
Any others weight in on this????
Just opinion of a friend

 

[Darkman00]

opinions are normally backed by something concrete though - where do you draw the line, and what exactly is "a person like that"

I use my common sense (re: opinions are normally backed by something concrete) ... I hope it's quite common still ... instead of burying my head in the sand, so to speak ...

Until the similar tragedy strikes people, often they tend to do this, though, i understand.

Families that lost someone in this (or similar to this) tragedy might agree with me however.

 

[Xavier]

This is a really touching story of one of the Sandy Hook students:

Grace McDonnell was one of the 20 children killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School this month. As her parents are grieving the loss of their bright-eyed, seven-year-old daughter, they can take at least some solace in a sign of comfort that she left behind.

Grace was known for leaving messages on the family’s bathroom window — notes and symbols that would show up once fog clouded the room from shower steam. And the day after her death, seemingly on cue, one of these notes appeared to her mother.

On the first day without her daughter, Lynn McDonnell said that the message on the window was a peace sign, Grace’s favorite symbol. Above it were the words, “Grace, Mom.” CNN was moved to call the family’s finding “a message from beyond the grave.”

“I looked and there was her peace sign in the window and I was like, ‘That’s a sign from my Grace,’” Lynn said. ”She was all about peace and gentleness and kindness.”

http://www.google.com/search?q=stories+about+the++sandy+hook+children&hl=en&source=hp&gbv=1

 

[flipflop]

Most people who are deemed normal create friendships. These "normal" people generally have friendships that are deep and meaningful. From what we know NL had superficial friendships, at best. People she ran into at the bar, women she played a game with every so often. From what is being reported NL had pretty basic, shallow friendships with people in town. She knew them on an acquaintance level, but nothing more than that. Since NL had been living in Newtown for many years at the time of her death you'd anticipate she would have developed a few, deep, meaningful friendships with women in town. It didn't happen. I'm curious as to WHY. Was Adam that disturbed that she couldn't let people in her home? was there something that she didn't want people to see? Why don't people know more about Adam if they had been friends with NL? Look, there are people I run into at the bar each week, too. We chat, we are on a first name basis, but these are not my FRIENDS. They are people I know. Our conversations don't go past more than idle chitchat. NL, from the sounds of it, was a very private woman. She didn't talk much about AL, she didn't let people in her home, she ran into a bar a few times a week for a drink and to pick up salads. She wasn't exactly the most social creature the world has ever seen, obviously.

Do you really believe that ALL of NL's friends have spoken to the media.

I believe her true friends have remained silent to the media and have spoken to LE. The people that have spoken out seem to be acquaintences or people that want their 5 min of fame. JMO

 

[passionflower]

I do believe NEWLYMINTED has a point on friendships.
I know not everyone has talked to the media, I understand.
BUT IMO, NL seemed alittle aloof to best friends.
Allot of people knew of her, several knew her but I didn't see
any best buddies crying or talking about their grief yet.
Like AL was a secret boy in the basement???
Was NL even close to her other son? mother? brother?

 

[Charlie09]

I use my common sense (re: opinions are normally backed by something concrete) ... I hope it's quite common still ... instead of burying my head in the sand, so to speak ...

Until the similar tragedy strikes people, often they tend to do this, though, i understand.

Families that lost someone in this (or similar to this) tragedy might agree with me however.

lots of assumptions in your post - whatever.

 

[Darkman00]

oh well .. sorry to disappoint you then, lol

 

[michmi]

Do you really believe that ALL of NL's friends have spoken to the media.

I personally believe she had no "close" friends and all she had were these superficial interactions with people she had to deal with in the course of a day.

 

[katydid23]

I personally believe she had no "close" friends and all she had were these superficial interactions with people she had to deal with in the course of a day.

I thought it was reported that she was good friends with the principal of Sandy Hook and the school counselor.

 

[jjenny]

IF Adam was on the Autism Spectrum, he likely would have needed Nancy to force him to go. Making friends is oftentimes very difficult, if not impossible for many on the spectrum. Being isolated was his comfort zone.

Which makes me wonder if his rampage had anything to do with possible future plans Nancy may have had to bring him out of his comfort zone.

I do believe that was his motivation. Nancy was going to move and put him into a school or a center. Which meant moving out of his basement. I think he was very angry at her for that.

 

[michmi]

Isn't it common for some adult children to live at their parents' home in the basement?

Maybe now that the economy is so bad, but for the bulk of my dating life, a guy who still lived at home, even in the basement, was really unattractive to me, surpassed only by not having a job or a car. If I was living on my own, working and paying for a vehicle I expected anyone I dated to be doing the same.

 

[flipflop]

NL's close friends have not spoken out....does that mean they did not exist. PL and RL have not spoken either, but yes they do exist. Do you really think they would print this phrase in her obit: She had many lifelong friends locally and around the world. I believe family and friends who were close to NL are remaining quiet, instead of being interviewed by the media and their words being attacked by the public.

NL was the mother of an adult child with very specific needs. Most mothers with special needs mothers have limited time for a social life, it does not mean they do not have best friends. So she didn't have a revolving front door where friends were always coming and going....she did have an adult child in the house who had difficulty "socializing", therefore, it is easier not to have people over. For all we know, perhaps she went out to do the visiting at others houses. AL was in the basement, his comfort zone, free of people who he did not have to socialize with.

 

[Darkman00]

Gun Debate Rages Near Store Where Nancy Lanza Bought AR-15 Used in Newtown Shooting

Published: Wednesday, December 26, 2012

By Sadie Gurman
Special to the New Haven Register

Customers at the Sky Diner in East Windsor on Friday didn't know much about the neighboring gun store that was raided by federal agents the night before. But they did know where they stood on gun control: Like the rest of the nation, very far apart...

Read more: http://www.countytimes.com/articles/2012/12/26/news/doc50d70cfb035be165548821.txt

 

[newlyminted]

Do you really believe that ALL of NL's friends have spoken to the media.

I believe her true friends have remained silent to the media and have spoken to LE. The people that have spoken out seem to be acquaintences or people that want their 5 min of fame. JMO

I never said "All her friends" have spoken to the media, nor do I think they have. What I do think, from what we've seen and what we've heard, is that NL failed to build or maintain close friendships with people in town, a town she was living in for many, many years. When people she saw multiple times a week at the bar don't know squat about her, and her neighbors who lived on the same street for years on end don't know squat about her, one can conclude that she simply didn't forge particularly close friendships. I find it kind of hard to believe that she had an extensive, close social circle and none of them have made a peep. I'm driven to think that it is VERY likely, that due to a special needs child and her not working, she failed to grow or maintain close friendships with other adults. The question i'm curious about is why that might be the case. Why was no one allowed in this beautiful and picturesque home in suburban Connecticut? Was she afraid of AL and his reaction to people? Was she not an overly social person?

I just think understanding what made this family tick will lead to some semblance of what happened. At the end of the day AL's interactions were limited to NL, he was only 20 years old (still a kid, really), so looking at the family, specifically his mother, makes sense.

 

[Kimster]

The next post I see sleuthing or starting rumors about the killer's family is gonna find themselves reading and not being able to post for a few days.

 

[flipflop]

I never said "All her friends" have spoken to the media, nor do I think they have. What I do think, from what we've seen and what we've heard, is that NL failed to build or maintain close friendships with people in town, a town she was living in for many, many years. When people she saw multiple times a week at the bar don't know squat about her, and her neighbors who lived on the same street for years on end don't know squat about her, one can conclude that she simply didn't forge particularly close friendships. I find it kind of hard to believe that she had an extensive, close social circle and none of them have made a peep. I'm driven to think that it is VERY likely, that due to a special needs child and her not working, she failed to grow or maintain close friendships with other adults. The question i'm curious about is why that might be the case. Why was no one allowed in this beautiful and picturesque home in suburban Connecticut? Was she afraid of AL and his reaction to people? Was she not an overly social person?

I just think understanding what made this family tick will lead to some semblance of what happened. At the end of the day AL's interactions were limited to NL, he was only 20 years old (still a kid, really), so looking at the family, specifically his mother, makes sense.

probably because her adult son who lived there also had difficulty with socializing, people who do not understand this would be uncomfortable around him. It sounds to me that she was a social person, but with her sons difficulties in the social department, it prevented her from having friends over. JMO