This case is much more complicated than it seems.
To get some things out of the way: I’m a parent, an educator and have a masters in child counseling. My background and qualifications are why this case hits so close to home.
I’m absolutely outraged by what’s happening here, and the awful stigma it reinforces against men who interact with kids. If you have a male spouse, sibling or child, this could directly impact them.
First, at no point during the investigation into Mr. Ricciardi have any allegations of sexually explicit contact (as-in: touching a private area) been made against him.
Investigations by both DCF (the Department of Children and Families) and the school determined that nothing dangerous had taken place, and claims from the child contradicted the mother’s claims that her child was traumatized by Mr. Ricciardi (both children who were tickled by Ricciardi reacted positively to the interactions). Police have not turned up anything more severe in their investigations either.
From the DCF report:
"We are unable to confirm the tickling had an adverse impact" on the child, the DCF report concluded. "Mr. Ricciardi tickled [the alleged victim] and other children in sight of other staff and this was never done covertly. [The alleged victim] and other children would laugh while they were tickled. Some children would run away and then return to be tickled again*." … "Tickling a child at school may cross professional boundaries but does not rise to the level of sexual abuse, physical neglect, or emotional neglect. The case will be closed."*
Additionally,
Ricciardi’s behavior doesn’t meet the definition of grooming (a term which has become widely misused). For one, the tickling occurred in plain view in front of other students and adults. In addition, the children who were tickled said in interviews that they responded positively to the contact and liked Mr. Ricciardi as a teacher. (Their parents tell a different story, but their claims have been debunked in interviews with the children.)
If Mr. Ricciardi's actions can constitute grooming, then chances are so could something you or a family member have done. It's a dangerous and sensational expansion of the term by people who don't understand it, and arresting people based on the logic that they "could be" grooming a child is absolutely disastrous.
There's also a really insidious fixation on Mr. Ricciardi’s gender, both in articles and in the statements by parents. Childhood education is one of the few areas where men are frequently the victims of discrimination, with a single overzealous accusation easily spiraling into what we see here. One mother is quoted as saying “I don’t think that frequent tickling from a male educator is acceptable.”
Finally, I have seen dozens of professionals over many years interacting with children in a similarly playful manner. Male and female, teachers and administrators. I myself recall being playfully tickled by numerous teachers in elementary school, and I can’t even imagine a world where myself or my parents would have an issue with it. It's laughable.
Here’s what I think is actually happening here:
The parents, not the children or the school, were the only ones uncomfortable with Mr. Ricciardi’s interactions, with his gender being their primary issue. Fury towards his behavior fermented in the parents’ private Facebook groups, and boiled over when the school rightly concluded that Ricciardi had done nothing dangerous.
The media, always eager to run a “monster in our midst” story, jumped at the opportunity to portray Mr. Ricciardi as a predator despite the lack of evidence (and significant evidence to the contrary). This
amplified the frenzy against him and created pressure on both he schools and local law enforcement.
The police arrested Mr. Ricciardi for these incredibly minor actions, simply because of the increasing outrage generated around them (hence the ludicrous “breach of peace” charge). Equally absurd is the development that
State Rep. Liz Linehan has come out saying that she wants to further expand the legal understanding of grooming behavior to include the kind of contact Mr. Ricciardi engaged in. Contact which, as shown above, DCF determined was not grooming (and, as a licensed child counselor, I agree with DCF & believe Rep. Linehan is 100% wrong).
Again, if this were to happen, any man in your family could be hit with life-destroying charges for something just as trivial as this.
Look, I have a daughter. I know how important it is to protect her from a world with so many possible dangers. But I’m also trained to know what constitutes a threat to her safety, and
I wouldn’t bat an eye at a teacher interacting with her like Mr. Ricciardi interacted with these children, so long as she herself was okay with it.
I also have a son, brother and a husband, and I’m so depressed by the idea that they will never be able to interact with kids in a nurturing and playful manner without risking their lives and reputations (and yes, platonic and consensual physical interactions like these are extremely appropriate and important for a child’s development!).
Finally, I’d like to make it clear that I’m not saying Mr. Ricciardi is 100% guaranteed to be a great guy. It’s totally possible that investigations into him will uncover something damning. But
the fact that he’s been arrested 4 times and put through all of this insanity BEFORE any such evidence is found is truly outrageous to me. In my opinion, this entire ordeal should have ended with the school’s internal investigation.
If you agree with me and see this case being discussed, or have any ability to make an impact on local media/schools/politicians/police/etc, please voice your concerns about how Mr. Ricciardi is being treated and help us end this stigma.
Articles cited:
Police Arrest First Grade Teacher Accused of Inappropriately Tickling Students — For the 4th Time
Control the Narrative: Parents claim school downplayed teacher tickling concerns
https://www.ctpost.com/news/article/ct-dcf-nicholas-ricciardi-solomon-schechter-20374982.php
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