GUILTY CT - Barry James, 59, stabbed to death, Fairfield, 28 Aug 2006

[Amraann]

I already tried to post this ... It poofed!!!


UGH!
OK one more time
First off I contend that if the mother has any history of sexual abuse she could have over reacted.

Secondly .. I reply to Peter Hamilton who a few pages ago said a child molester doesn't deserve death??
If any crime deserves death the abuse of a child does.
Killing someone leaves only those who remember to suffer but to harm a child perpetuates generations of abuse.

If US law is about keeping society safe then it should be a high priority that child molesters and abusers go to the death chamber or at the very least never see the outside of prison again.
I cannot understand why such people ever deserve a second chance.

 

[luthersmama]

I already tried to post this ... It poofed!!!


UGH!
OK one more time
First off I contend that if the mother has any history of sexual abuse she could have over reacted.

Secondly .. I reply to Peter Hamilton who a few pages ago said a child molester doesn't deserve death??
If any crime deserves death the abuse of a child does.
Killing someone leaves only those who remember to suffer but to harm a child perpetuates generations of abuse.

If US law is about keeping society safe then it should be a high priority that child molesters and abusers go to the death chamber or at the very least never see the outside of prison again.
I cannot understand why such people ever deserve a second chance.

So would you have the death penalty apply to somebody who fondles a child?

If the penalty for improper touching is the same as for murder, won't more molestors just murder their victims?

I believe that children can recover if their abuse is discovered and properly dealt with. Suppose a kid is being groped by their grandfather. Under your plan, the grandfather could honestly say "If you tell anybody, they will kill me!" Is that really better for the kid?

I don't think so.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

So would you have the death penalty apply to somebody who fondles a child?

If the penalty for improper touching is the same as for murder, won't more molestors just murder their victims?

I believe that children can recover if their abuse is discovered and properly dealt with. Suppose a kid is being groped by their grandfather. Under your plan, the grandfather could honestly say "If you tell anybody, they will kill me!" Is that really better for the kid?

I don't think so.

A death sentence is never automatic. Every case would be decided alone by a jury. While I seriously doubt that any child molester STOPS at "fondling" without ever taking it further, I honestly doubt that a jury would sentence grandpa to death - even if he does need to get to hell without delay.

 

[Amraann]

So would you have the death penalty apply to somebody who fondles a child?

If the penalty for improper touching is the same as for murder, won't more molestors just murder their victims?

I believe that children can recover if their abuse is discovered and properly dealt with. Suppose a kid is being groped by their grandfather. Under your plan, the grandfather could honestly say "If you tell anybody, they will kill me!" Is that really better for the kid?

I don't think so.

Are you kidding?? They use those threats anyhow!
You bet your butt someone who fondles a child should DIE.
Lets call it like it is...
Murder is one shot deal ... the real victims are those that remember their loved one.
Child abuse lasts forever. If you don't believe me you go ask every drug addict and crack .
You go ahead and believe for the sake of many I hope your the one who is right.
Honestly I do not think that the DP stops someone from killing or committing any other crime.
I really do not care either way actually .... In real life I would not hesitate to kill someone who harmed any child I know.
If it means prison for the rest of my life then so be it.
I will happily serve those days knowing the will harm another child NEVER Again!

I do have to ask... You said you think a child could recover???
OK maybe that is true ... but why should more then one have to?
WHy?? so gradpa can molest a few other kids?? One child harmed is enough after that it is societies fault for permitting such scum to live among us.
We as adults who pay taxes and vote are guilty if we permit someone to do it more then once.

 

[BillyGoatGruff]

I, too, wonder about when James would have had the opportunity to molest the child. From articles I'm reading, James had been acting odd for months. The father had even reported that James was visible through the window in a state of undress (or something like that). So both mom & dad surely were in a heightened state of awareness and would not have allowed the child near the man. I'm rather puzzled. But if it is proven that the child was indeed molested...well...

At least it wasn't one of those situations where NO ONE in the neighborhood noticed something was up with the guy.

 

[BillyGoatGruff]

He is a patent atty.

He was released on $1M bail. He looks like an angry man in the picture of him leaving the jail. Kinda preppie scary.

Although his anger at learning his daughter was (or might have been) molested is understandable his actions were not. Think about it. He took a knife from his kitchen, crawled through he guys bedroom window and stabbed him 12 times. That is a lot of rage. I don't think I know anyone who could do it. Yes, people say "I'd kill whoever touched my child", but would they really really be capable of doing it?

I too have a feeling there is going to be a lot more to this story. Maybe some other issues that contributed to him "snapping" whether his own or those provoked by the neighbor.

All the way around a sad situation.

Mary Winkler in reverse. Only he didn't flee and got let out of jail right away. Now that to me is scary. I think he should have cooled his jets in there for a few weeks. This was a pre-meditated violent murder. I hope no one else crosses his path or make him angry before he is back behind bars.

If this guy was a molester, and had been living in that neighborhood all his life, it's not impossible he has been molseting children (of both sexes) for decades, including many who are now adults in the neighborhood.

 

[BillyGoatGruff]

I had early talkers in my gifted preschool as well. But even if the kids aren't talking early, ALL my little ones learned sign language before they learned to talk. We always used complete sentences with the sign language and the kids could all sign complete thoughts before they could say them. This tells me that the child at least was able to form the thoughts of what happened to them - and perhaps could have portrayed it - however, at two, I don't think kids yet know what is acceptable and unacceptable touch - they have to be told "We don't bite our sisters" and "We don't touch our privates outside of the bathroom" etc.

How could a two year old, even if they were speaking the King's English perfectly communicate that something happened that was wrong? It is possible, but would be interesting to have been in on that conversation.

"Did Mr. X touch your privates" *nods head* 'Uh huh'
"Do you like Barney *nods head* 'Uh huh'
"Are you sleepy?" *nods head* 'Uh huh', I mean ' 'Uh huh'
"Is the sky yellow?" *nods head* 'Uh huh' *giggles*

Kids are capable of knowing when something hurts and when it's scarey.
And if the prosecution is already talking mitigating circumstances and pleas they probably have physical evidence of a moelstation and/or the deceased had a history of sex offense arrests we are not privy to.

 

[BillyGoatGruff]

Heh, ever seen the show Oz? The attorney who went to jail for killing someone while driving drunk ended up a huge target and he himself became a hardened criminal.

I wouldn't necessarily use OZ as a guide for anything except how the gangs relate to one another behind bars. It was a work of fiction, and that particular character was designed to serve as something of a negative reverse Pilgrim's Progress.

 

[luthersmama]

I believe that kids can recover from all kinds of things, provided they are made to understand that whatever happened to them was not their fault. Kids today are much more able to talk about bad events that used to be swept under the rug, because we do not stigmatize the victim. Each case should be handled individually, with consideration given to what the victim and their family feels is appropriate. I don't feel that the death penalty is at all appropriate for many types of abuse.

The stupid thing about this case is that this guy (the patent lawyer/father) has now screwed up his family's life in a big way. What the heck was he thinking? How does it help his daughter that he is now going to be in prison?

Whatever you think the law should be, and whatever the emotional desire may be, stabbing a guy to death without any kind of proof and without any legal process is just plain wrong. If he had caught him in the act, that would be different. Instead, he will go to jail, his daughter will be the daughter of a felon, he will be disbarred and have a difficult time making a living and will be sued for wrongful death. Duh.

 

[Amraann]

I believe that kids can recover from all kinds of things, provided they are made to understand that whatever happened to them was not their fault. Kids today are much more able to talk about bad events that used to be swept under the rug, because we do not stigmatize the victim. Each case should be handled individually, with consideration given to what the victim and their family feels is appropriate. I don't feel that the death penalty is at all appropriate for many types of abuse.

The stupid thing about this case is that this guy (the patent lawyer/father) has now screwed up his family's life in a big way. What the heck was he thinking? How does it help his daughter that he is now going to be in prison?

Whatever you think the law should be, and whatever the emotional desire may be, stabbing a guy to death without any kind of proof and without any legal process is just plain wrong. If he had caught him in the act, that would be different. Instead, he will go to jail, his daughter will be the daughter of a felon, he will be disbarred and have a difficult time making a living and will be sued for wrongful death. Duh.

Although I agree that kids are resiliant... This is no reason for them to have to be.
If you read my previous posts you will see that I am none to sure that the word of a 2 year old is proof solid.
I do however believe with concrete proof the should die and noone should feel guilt about it.
Children may be able to recover (to what extent I will argue the point)
Children should not have to recover!!
They should be free to be children and happy and unviolated.

 

[luthersmama]

Although I agree that kids are resiliant... This is no reason for them to have to be.
If you read my previous posts you will see that I am none to sure that the word of a 2 year old is proof solid.
I do however believe with concrete proof the should die and noone should feel guilt about it.
Children may be able to recover (to what extent I will argue the point)
Children should not have to recover!!
They should be free to be children and happy and unviolated.

They shouldn't have to live in poverty, starve to death, watch their homes bombed into dust, lose a parent, lose a limb....none of that should happen. But it does.

 

[Amraann]

They shouldn't have to live in poverty, starve to death, watch their homes bombed into dust, lose a parent, lose a limb....none of that should happen. But it does.

So you mean we settle for it??

I am saying we don't! We should fight for our kids!
Not let them become prey.

 

[southcitymom]

So you mean we settle for it??

I am saying we don't! We should fight for our kids!
Not let them become prey.

Well, I think that, as the Buddha said, Life is suffering. We all come here and suffer in some form or fashion. No one is immune. All that differs are the circumstances that cause our suffering.

Yes, we should protect our kids from the heinousness of sexual abuse. I don't mind the idea of removing child molesters from the traffic of society, but we must also continue to raise the level of awareness of children and their caretakers. I believe that is happening already. As luthersmama pointed out, more kids are able to speak out today and less stigma is attached.

I agree with the poster that stated that we just don't know enough about the mind of a molester to know how to change their actions.

I would also like to point out that, with rare exception, adult child molesters were once unprotected child victims of molestation. It is a chain of pain. I am not implying that everyone who is abused as a child becomes an abuser. But the truth is that all abusers were once abused.

At what point do we stop holding compassion in out hearts for the children that are abused and relegate them to cemetary status?

 

[julianne]

So you mean we settle for it??

I am saying we don't! We should fight for our kids!
Not let them become prey.

I agree, Amraann. Our kids should be our #1 priority. IMO, child molesters cannot be rehabilitated.

 

[cathieq]

I believe that kids can recover from all kinds of things, provided they are made to understand that whatever happened to them was not their fault. Kids today are much more able to talk about bad events that used to be swept under the rug, because we do not stigmatize the victim. QUOTE]

I want to interject the word strong here: strong kids can recover from all kinds of things, as can strong adults. Unfortunately, there is no sure-fire method for determining if a child is strong or not until after the fact, sometimes way after the fact.

I suppose you could say I work with the weak kids - those kids who will forever suffer as a result of those soulless creatures who prey upon them. And for all the world states otherwise, we still do stigmatize the victims.

I'm sorry but I can not nor will I ever forgive those who prey upon children. In my book, if they are despicable enough to commit something so vile an act(s) then they have no rights. They have no right to existence in my world. The laws of the land are here to protect me not them.

Now, in light of that, I do try not to rush to judgement . I don't know if we'll ever know if James actually did anything besides drink too much and traipse around naked.

 

[Bobbisangel]

I'm not sure a 2-year old could give enough detail to be absolutely, 100% sure that something actually happened. Without a doctor's visit, nothing???? Wouldn't someone whose used to having the facts before him want to at least know "something" had definately happened??? I think we're going to hear more about this one.

We don't know enough details yet to know exactly what happened. If the little girl has been taught about good touch bad touch she may have been able to tell her mother. The dad had reported the neighbor man for standing in his window exposing himself. Other neighbors said that he has stood outside in his yard and done the same thing.

I wonder how he got the chance to be around the little girl alone. It will be interesting to hear the whole story. I'm wondering if the mom had taken the little one to the doctor and that is when the dad got the phone call.

 

[Bobbisangel]

So would you have the death penalty apply to somebody who fondles a child?

If the penalty for improper touching is the same as for murder, won't more molestors just murder their victims?

I believe that children can recover if their abuse is discovered and properly dealt with. Suppose a kid is being groped by their grandfather. Under your plan, the grandfather could honestly say "If you tell anybody, they will kill me!" Is that really better for the kid?

I don't think so.

Improper touching is just as devistating to a child as any type of sexual abuse. I'm talking about how it affects their lives. When my oldest daughter's were 8 and 9 yrs they were molested by my best friends 16 yr old son. At that time my doctor advised me not to go to the police because a good defense attorney would tear my girls apart on the stand and it would traumatize them more then they already were. This was many years ago. He said to tell the mother of the teenager though. The mother had a little girl that was about 3 yrs at the time and so she talked to her baby's doctor and he told her "just don't let him babysit anymore." That was the end of that.

My daughter's have had problems throughout their adult lives. They especially have problems in relationships with men. They didn't go to counseling at that time because there was so little known about the effects of molestation at that time. I talked to them a lot about it though and they have never felt like it was their fault but it did have a major effect on them.
Some people tend to down play molestation like it isn't as damaging as other things that could happen to them by some pervert. It all affects the children in the most damaging ways. These kids are never whole after something like that takes place.

When my grandaughter was molested we got her into counseling right away. She was around 9 when it happened. We talked to her and we are hoping her outcome will be better but I know that damage was done and all that happened to that guy was he was put into some rehab program. My granddaughter was the 4th little girl he had molested and all 4 girls belonged to women he was in lengthy relationships with. The court was aware of all of the girls and he goes into a rehab program!!!! Do they honestly think that he won't molest again. He doesn't even have to register as a sex offender because he is a level 1. That is so much bull crap.

 

[kazzbar]

I'm not sure a 2-year old could give enough detail to be absolutely, 100% sure that something actually happened. Without a doctor's visit, nothing???? Wouldn't someone whose used to having the facts before him want to at least know "something" had definately happened??? I think we're going to hear more about this one.

Yes, i agree.When i saw this story I thought good grief , he took the word of a 2yr old but then I heard that the neighbour had been exposing himself out of the window at the wife.More needs to be known as it is early in the case.

 

[christine2448]

Snips from article


It's one of the most unbearably thorny questions a parent ever faces — what would you do if it happened to your child?

Nearly 85,000 children were sexually abused in the United States in 2004, the most recent statistics available, according to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System.

To gain a better understanding of what parents go through when this happens to their child, ABC News' Law & Justice Unit spoke with seven families about the horror of learning their child had been sexually molested, and the subsequent struggle with sometimes burning desires for immediate relief.

"He snapped and grabbed one of his hunting rifles and got into his truck and he left skid marks down the driveway and down the road. And he is a responsible man. He doesn't drive like that."

"He said he was going to kill him. I stood there and thought 'He's going to kill him and go to jail and my daughter's just been molested and I'm going to lose everything,'" she said. "And I just stood there in the driveway, thinking, 'Oh, my God.'"

"I went into the garage — and we don't drink — and I took a bottle of whiskey we keep there and sat in there and just drank myself to oblivion."

Cathy's husband went to the man's house, but he wasn't home.


"I just drove around and around, and eventually came to my senses," Bill Wruck said. "If he had been home, my life — our life — would have been changed forever."

ENTIRE ARTICLE HERE


What would I do? I don't know, being a survivor myself, I just don't know how I would react. I think I would lose it. I think I would 'snap'.

 

[Karole28]

Molesters should get death, imo.

When a child is molested, (s)he ceases to be a child. (the child is killed) leaving them in something more along the lines of a not-adult, not-child limbo.